nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Completely Ashamed

kge0891

Last month, I made it through a majority of the month with 4 binges. In the last week it went downhill, which has carried into April. I've binged more in April than I have eaten normally. I am disgusted with myself. I eat until I am in pain. Then (and this is the sad part) I WISH I was able to purge (I never have, because I just could never do it for some reason) but I wish I could, to undo some of the bad. Every day I start out positive and strong-willed. I go to the gym, have a great workout, that I ENJOY doing, and then at some point, the overwhelming need to stuff my face with some kind of junk or terrible food overpowers any thoughts of reason. Each day I say no more binging, and the more I try to stop it, the worse my binges get. I am undo-ing ALL of my weight loss progress, and it's literally tearing me apart inside. How can I overcome this? It is getting to the point where I don't want to check in on Me vs. The Binge, because I am so disappointed in myself.

Anyone have advice, support, or anything of the sort?

Replies

tequila09

i don't have any advice but i know how you feel! i'm going through something similar. From tuesday last week to saturday i literally ate between 3000-5000 calories!!! i just said eff it and STUFFED my face. i had the intention of being healthy and also worked out but ate an incredible amount of food and it hurt and i wished i could purge too. i weighed in sunday morning to a 10 pound weight gain!!! yesterday i ate around maintenance but didn't make the best food choices. this morning it was down to a 5 pound gain which i don't doubt though i'm still praying most is water weight. i considered going to overeaters anonymous today but decided against it. so far today i'm doing very well and have stayed way under my calories and hoping to get through at least the rest of the month without a binge. it is so hard though!! i just get so stressed out with everything that i want to eat anything and everything so weirddd!! anyway you're not alone!!

Graelwyn75

I suggest maybe taking a break from here and taking the pressure off, focussing only on eating healthy and when hungry, rather than on numbers, for a short time, and occupying your mind with other things. I find the more time I spend on here, the more I obsess on the numbers, the worse it becomes. I am also finding intermittent fasting very helpful, for me personally. When you can eat a few decent sized meals in a shorter space of time, that urge to binge just seems to vanish, plus it teaches you that you can do it, and that you do have the strength to control food, rather than food controlling you. Of course, it will not work for everyone, but I am someone who battled binge urges from when I got out of bed somedays, and I am finding it remarkably easy to just go cold turkey on food for 14-15 hours a day (including sleep time, of course). I know some others on here have found relief from binge eating using IF as well.

skylarloses

I completely understand how you feel, I've been there. The only advice I could give you is what I have been trying the past few days is to just not give into the binge, I know easier said than done, I understand. Yesterday I denied a really big urge to binge. I was anxious for a couple of hours, but I kept distracting myself with non-food things and eventually it passed. It was so hard not to binge because I hate the way the anxiety makes me feel, but I can tell you that once the anxiety that comes from denying the binge passes, you feel amazing

Good Luck

"One Day at a Time"

greekygirl

I totally understand!!! Some days, I can start off with the best of intentions, all kinds of willpower, etc., only to find myself eating the crap again at some point the same day. I have often wished I could purge too - I never could either. I tried more than once and nothing. I'm sure this is a good thing though.

I quit doing the me vs. binge (yes, again) because I think it was causing me more harm than good. I compare myself to everyone who is doing so well and then I feel worse about myself (I know I should NOT compare myself with others, ever). Then I feel even worse because I *should* be happy for them but instead I feel jealous and afraid and alone. Talk about completely ashamed! I am ashamed to admit that but there, I said it.

Sometimes I think the more I think about not bingeing, the more I binge. I really need to let it go and focus on other things instead of bingeing, not bingeing, what I will eat today, etc. Some days are easier than others to do so though.

I wish I had some advice but I'm pretty much in the same place as you. Hang in there, you are definitely not alone.

tequila09

I suggest maybe taking a break from here and taking the pressure off, focussing only on eating healthy and when hungry, rather than on numbers, for a short time, and occupying your mind with other things. I find the more time I spend on here, the more I obsess on the numbers, the worse it becomes. I am also finding intermittent fasting very helpful, for me personally. When you can eat a few decent sized meals in a shorter space of time, that urge to binge just seems to vanish, plus it teaches you that you can do it, and that you do have the strength to control food, rather than food controlling you. Of course, it will not work for everyone, but I am someone who battled binge urges from when I got out of bed somedays, and I am finding it remarkably easy to just go cold turkey on food for 14-15 hours a day (including sleep time, of course). I know some others on here have found relief from binge eating using IF as well.

i have also found success with IF or modified IF type eating. i try to save the bulk of my calories for later in the day which is when i want to eat the most as i'm home from work/school whatever. also when i don't plan ahead to have easy lunches i can throw together for my long days it is easier to slip up which can lead to binging. i hope you are doing better today!

Graelwyn75

I suggest maybe taking a break from here and taking the pressure off, focussing only on eating healthy and when hungry, rather than on numbers, for a short time, and occupying your mind with other things. I find the more time I spend on here, the more I obsess on the numbers, the worse it becomes. I am also finding intermittent fasting very helpful, for me personally. When you can eat a few decent sized meals in a shorter space of time, that urge to binge just seems to vanish, plus it teaches you that you can do it, and that you do have the strength to control food, rather than food controlling you. Of course, it will not work for everyone, but I am someone who battled binge urges from when I got out of bed somedays, and I am finding it remarkably easy to just go cold turkey on food for 14-15 hours a day (including sleep time, of course). I know some others on here have found relief from binge eating using IF as well.

i have also found success with IF or modified IF type eating. i try to save the bulk of my calories for later in the day which is when i want to eat the most as i'm home from work/school whatever. also when i don't plan ahead to have easy lunches i can throw together for my long days it is easier to slip up which can lead to binging. i hope you are doing better today!

Yes, oddly, I am not craving junk at all since taking up the If because the large meals in the evening leave me feeling content. I am the sort of person who gets indecision over what to eat and that stresses me out. By having a large dinner, I can fit a much greater variety into my meal, look forward to it, and focus on just doing other things in the daytime. When I snacked in the day, I was often snacking not through real hunger, more through habit, mind hunger and the like. The trainer I am having a few free sessions with said we are not designed to eat throughout the day, and snack. He also said that it is possible some of my hunger is not real tummy rumble hunger, but rather mind hunger. And he was right. As long as I eat my decent dinner and bedtime meal, It takes a good 13-14 hours before I experience any grumbling tummy. And because I have waited until I am genuinely hungry, I enjoy and look forward to the meal more. If you think about it, a lot of people naturally slip into IF anyway because they have their dinner at 8 or 9, go to bed at maybe 11, don't like breakfast, and eat their first meal at lunchtime. That is 15-16 hours right there.

It takes away the obsession on food. It reminds you that you can control your urges. Even just doing it once or twice a week can be beneficial AS LONG as you get in adequate calories in that 8 hour window. I have had cereal bars and nuts around, and not felt any urge to binge on them. No room to fit them in, no cravings for them. Because I am eating all my food in the evening, and that gives me a lot of leeway.

Worth a try, is all I will say.

turnarounddontlookback

Hello fellow bingers! reading your posts above reminds me that I am not a freakshow with these kind of issues. There are many of us out there! I'm sorry I cant really offer any advice as I am clearly in need of some myself at this point:0) but I really know for myself, in the past, just knowing that there are others out there going through the same food struggles means a lot to me.....i can relate SO MUCH to the feeling of being Completely Ashamed!!!

I am really struggling as of lately, for me binge eating coincides directly with stress. my job is stressful! i hear a lot of sad stories every day and i have to do a lot of emotionally challenging work, plus my career field is chronically overworked and shortstaffed. sometimes its just too easy to come home after work and plough through an insane amount of fatty, sugary, carby foods that numb the pain!!!

I've also worked in the field of addictions over the past few years and have really come to view binge eating as a type of addiction. there is an interesting article somewhere about how binge eating / compulsive overeating/food addiction is the ''good girls addiction'' and I couldnt agree with this theory more! i have attended a few overeaters anonymous meetings before and found them very helpful as a support to keep 'abstinent' from binges. I would really recommend checking it out if you havent already.
i did at one point try and work through the steps and have a sponsor but ultimately i dont think enough of the 12 step kind of program really speaks to me, teh most helpful thing about OA i have found is their support network. However, the saying about AA/NA/OA that you should just 'take what makes sense to you and leave the rest' is probably a good point.

Springfield_Rocks

I suggest maybe taking a break from here and taking the pressure off, focussing only on eating healthy and when hungry, rather than on numbers, for a short time, and occupying your mind with other things. I find the more time I spend on here, the more I obsess on the numbers, the worse it becomes. I am also finding intermittent fasting very helpful, for me personally. When you can eat a few decent sized meals in a shorter space of time, that urge to binge just seems to vanish, plus it teaches you that you can do it, and that you do have the strength to control food, rather than food controlling you. Of course, it will not work for everyone, but I am someone who battled binge urges from when I got out of bed somedays, and I am finding it remarkably easy to just go cold turkey on food for 14-15 hours a day (including sleep time, of course). I know some others on here have found relief from binge eating using IF as well.

i have also found success with IF or modified IF type eating. i try to save the bulk of my calories for later in the day which is when i want to eat the most as i'm home from work/school whatever. also when i don't plan ahead to have easy lunches i can throw together for my long days it is easier to slip up which can lead to binging. i hope you are doing better today!

Yes, oddly, I am not craving junk at all since taking up the If because the large meals in the evening leave me feeling content. I am the sort of person who gets indecision over what to eat and that stresses me out. By having a large dinner, I can fit a much greater variety into my meal, look forward to it, and focus on just doing other things in the daytime. When I snacked in the day, I was often snacking not through real hunger, more through habit, mind hunger and the like. The trainer I am having a few free sessions with said we are not designed to eat throughout the day, and snack. He also said that it is possible some of my hunger is not real tummy rumble hunger, but rather mind hunger. And he was right. As long as I eat my decent dinner and bedtime meal, It takes a good 13-14 hours before I experience any grumbling tummy. And because I have waited until I am genuinely hungry, I enjoy and look forward to the meal more. If you think about it, a lot of people naturally slip into IF anyway because they have their dinner at 8 or 9, go to bed at maybe 11, don't like breakfast, and eat their first meal at lunchtime. That is 15-16 hours right there.

It takes away the obsession on food. It reminds you that you can control your urges. Even just doing it once or twice a week can be beneficial AS LONG as you get in adequate calories in that 8 hour window. I have had cereal bars and nuts around, and not felt any urge to binge on them. No room to fit them in, no cravings for them. Because I am eating all my food in the evening, and that gives me a lot of leeway.

Worth a try, is all I will say.

I am also discovering IF seems to work for me as well, for the exact same reasons. I only have a coffee in the morning now and eat a bigger lunch and dinner and that is working wonders for me.

Hang in there OP, you must being going through a lot of stress right now. Just don't give up! Keep trying. :flowerforyou:

kge0891

Thanks for all the wonderful advice!

I think I'd like to try IF, because I start my day off with a bowl of cereal, and within an hour I am more hungry than before I ate them, and the day spirals downward from there.

Question for all you IF-ers. Can you tell me some of the meals you make when you are doing this? Just wondering cause as a busy college student, half of my dinners consist of lean cuisines :embarassed:

And one more thing: I am trying to increase my protein intake. i do drink some protein powder with almond milk, but I prefer eating my calories over drinking them! I can also only eat so many nuts per day, and this often puts me over in fat. BUT my question is, what are some things everyone eats to get a lot of protein? I tried balance bars and cliff bars, which are pretty high in calories, and unfortunately they have turned into a binge food for me, so I can no longer buy them!

kge0891

Oh and another thing!! If you IF and hold off on breakfast, do you ever workout on an empty stomach? Sometimes early morning workouts are the only thing that works for me.

Graelwyn75

Oh and another thing!! If you IF and hold off on breakfast, do you ever workout on an empty stomach? Sometimes early morning workouts are the only thing that works for me.

Part of the leangains method of IF is the working out fasted. If you research leangains, you might find out more about that, and why it can be beneficial. I always workout fasted, never been a problem for me at all as long as I had a decent dinner and bedtime snack. You do have to make sure you are eating well when you do eat if fasting as getting in 1400 + calories in 6-8 hours would be a challenge for those still obsessing over the calories.

As an example of a meal, tonight I had 2 poached eggs, 2 slices of toast with butter, half a can of beans and some smoked tofu . Last night, I had a chicken breast fillet, mashed potato, vegetables, an avocado and some cottage cheese. The point of IF is that it allows you to have a large meal with all the bits you might want in it, and leaves you without all the decision making and fuss over what to eat in the day.

I am a night owl so I tend to eat from 6pm-2am or 8pm til 3am.
But many who do it have a big dinner, skip breakfast, and have a large lunch, large dinner, and a snack in between.
You have to find which times will work for you. I tended to binge in evenings thus keeping my eating confined to the evening and night helps me best.

Lean cuisines would not be adequate nutrition, for sure.
Protein is never an issue for me as I eat chicken, fish nuts, hard boiled eggs, beans, greek yoghurt(very high protein if you get the decent stuff), cottage cheese and even vegetables have protein in them.
Not sure what cooking facilities you have or can get.
I would assume there is a microwave, in which case, you can certainly do fish, sweet potatoes, vegetables, various bean dishes, poached eggs (you can get special microwave poachers) and possibly chicken, though I bake my chicken. You can even boil chicken in a kettle and eggs, lol. Avocados are good for lots of nutrients and energy.

tequila09

Thanks for all the wonderful advice!

I think I'd like to try IF, because I start my day off with a bowl of cereal, and within an hour I am more hungry than before I ate them, and the day spirals downward from there.

Question for all you IF-ers. Can you tell me some of the meals you make when you are doing this? Just wondering cause as a busy college student, half of my dinners consist of lean cuisines :embarassed:

And one more thing: I am trying to increase my protein intake. i do drink some protein powder with almond milk, but I prefer eating my calories over drinking them! I can also only eat so many nuts per day, and this often puts me over in fat. BUT my question is, what are some things everyone eats to get a lot of protein? I tried balance bars and cliff bars, which are pretty high in calories, and unfortunately they have turned into a binge food for me, so I can no longer buy them!

i'm a busy college student too! do you have access to a kitchen? i cook for me and my boyfriend and take two days a week to make these italian turkey or chicken burgers:
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-easons-livefit-recipes-italian-turkey-burgers.html

they are delicious! and lots of protein of course. i eat them like a burger or cut it up and mix with vegetables.

or bake/cook on stove top some boneless skinless chicken breasts.

lately i've been loving some sauteed bell peppers. delicious!! but really taking the time to cook in bulk saves a bunch of time! things you can just grab and go. my bf makes hard boiled eggs for us that we have ready to go for lunch. also steaming enough vegetables for at least two days helps so it is readily available. i LOVE green beans, zucchini, asparagus, bell peppers, broccoli and cauliflower and can eat them plain but you can totally add a little seasoning and it wouldn't hurt too much.

i also like to use my crock pot! i make a big batch of black bean and lentil soup which is super cheap to make plus very filling! i either have it like soup or drain some of the water and add ground turkey or chicken and it is like chili. i usually make two batches so i can freeze a bit for when we are shorter on time or money haha. for dinner i have pretty much whatever i want short of ice cream or snack cakes/pastries because i can eat SO much of that. its totally a trigger food for me. an example for me is tonight i'm making a ground turkey taco and a separate taco bowl. i love being able to have a good amount of sour cream and shredded cheese

i've worked out on an empty stomach plenty of times and haven't had any issues. some people work better with a little something but you just have to try it and go from there. i don't truly do IF because i like to drink a protein shake in the morning after working out and before school or work and its usually around 200-250 calories. but that still leaves me with a good size lunch and a nice big dinner if i wanted to. sometimes i don't feel like eating as much as i could for dinner which is fine because other days i go a little over so it balances out! anyway hope you find something that works for you!!

Graelwyn75

Thanks for all the wonderful advice!

I think I'd like to try IF, because I start my day off with a bowl of cereal, and within an hour I am more hungry than before I ate them, and the day spirals downward from there.

Question for all you IF-ers. Can you tell me some of the meals you make when you are doing this? Just wondering cause as a busy college student, half of my dinners consist of lean cuisines :embarassed:

And one more thing: I am trying to increase my protein intake. i do drink some protein powder with almond milk, but I prefer eating my calories over drinking them! I can also only eat so many nuts per day, and this often puts me over in fat. BUT my question is, what are some things everyone eats to get a lot of protein? I tried balance bars and cliff bars, which are pretty high in calories, and unfortunately they have turned into a binge food for me, so I can no longer buy them!

i'm a busy college student too! do you have access to a kitchen? i cook for me and my boyfriend and take two days a week to make these italian turkey or chicken burgers:
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-easons-livefit-recipes-italian-turkey-burgers.html

they are delicious! and lots of protein of course. i eat them like a burger or cut it up and mix with vegetables.

or bake/cook on stove top some boneless skinless chicken breasts.

lately i've been loving some sauteed bell peppers. delicious!! but really taking the time to cook in bulk saves a bunch of time! things you can just grab and go. my bf makes hard boiled eggs for us that we have ready to go for lunch. also steaming enough vegetables for at least two days helps so it is readily available. i LOVE green beans, zucchini, asparagus, bell peppers, broccoli and cauliflower and can eat them plain but you can totally add a little seasoning and it wouldn't hurt too much.

i also like to use my crock pot! i make a big batch of black bean and lentil soup which is super cheap to make plus very filling! i either have it like soup or drain some of the water and add ground turkey or chicken and it is like chili. i usually make two batches so i can freeze a bit for when we are shorter on time or money haha. for dinner i have pretty much whatever i want short of ice cream or snack cakes/pastries because i can eat SO much of that. its totally a trigger food for me. an example for me is tonight i'm making a ground turkey taco and a separate taco bowl. i love being able to have a good amount of sour cream and shredded cheese

i've worked out on an empty stomach plenty of times and haven't had any issues. some people work better with a little something but you just have to try it and go from there. i don't truly do IF because i like to drink a protein shake in the morning after working out and before school or work and its usually around 200-250 calories. but that still leaves me with a good size lunch and a nice big dinner if i wanted to. sometimes i don't feel like eating as much as i could for dinner which is fine because other days i go a little over so it balances out! anyway hope you find something that works for you!!

That is another beneficial thing about IF. If you have a bit of a lapse, or have an overindulgent evening, it is a lot easier while keeping eating to a window, to balance things out.

kge0891

Thanks for the replies everyone! Great advice, and much appreciated!

kate99931

Cereal in the mornings always gives me cravings within an hour or two! I find eating 1 or 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of whole grain toast gives me a great 4 hour block or so of energy without cravings. I think it's the protein in the egg plus the fiber and complex carb of the bread. Or maybe have it for lunch if doing the IF thing.
I like the "good girl addiction" comment, I couldn't agree more, maybe if I actually expressed my anger/frustration/stress/disappointment outwardly I wouldn't smother them inwardly with food..