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I have no idea where to meet men =/

samanthajade124
samanthajade124 Posts: 217 Member
in Social Groups
Well, the title is true. I was in a terrible relationship for 5 years, but have been single for a year now. I'm content with being single, but would love to have someone to share life's experiences with, ya know? I've tried the bar scene.... but I don't really want to meet a guy that goes out to bars all the time. Just isn't my style. I go to the batting cages... but it's mostly women that seem to go. At the gym?.. Ha! Like any of those guys would ever be interested in someone like myself (at my current weight, even though I'm working on it). Grocery store, book stores, coffee shops, etc.... no-go. So where on earth do I go?!

I had even resorted to PlentyOfFish. Worst experience EVER. :noway: I also will never resort to Craigslist.

It's not like I don't get out and do stuff... because I definitely do. I guess maybe I'm looking for other opinions on where to meet guys?

I'm a pretty chill girl. Sarcastic, witty, nerdy, silly.... but genuine. I'm into movies, books, photography, music, coffee...etc. It's hard to NOT have a common interest with someone. I'm independent, financially stable, have a job I love...yet I don't meet anyone.

What's up with that?

(Please don't offer me a glass of water. I'm not thirsty by any means. Just looking for suggestions)

Anyways, have a great day. And I appreciate those who take the time to read and reply :):flowerforyou:

Best regards,
Samantha
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Replies

  • moonlitdreams2
    moonlitdreams2 Posts: 83
    Hi Samantha, I completely understand. It is possible to meet men in the gym, but you have to have more confidence in that. Personally, I quit doing the bar scene because that's where I met my last two exes and they both cheated on me and drank like fish. I was told to find social "clubs" or start a social "club". I don't know how populated your area is, but I live in a very rural area which makes me harder. Good luck
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
    I don't know but if you figure it out, let me know.

    I agree with you on all of your points!

    I tried the online dating thing but was too freakin chicken to meet up with any of them in person. I think I would prefer to meet a man in person first... That way I know he is interested from the beginning.
  • moonlitdreams2
    moonlitdreams2 Posts: 83
    I've been too chicken too. The two or three times I wanted to meet them they disappeared the week before :(
    I don't know but if you figure it out, let me know.

    I agree with you on all of your points!

    I tried the online dating thing but was too freakin chicken to meet up with any of them in person. I think I would prefer to meet a man in person first... That way I know he is interested from the beginning.
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    wait there are women at the batting cages?
  • samanthajade124
    samanthajade124 Posts: 217 Member
    wait there are women at the batting cages?

    lol here there are :)
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    wait there are women at the batting cages?

    lol here there are :)

    Well then time to get off POF and pick up a bat and head to the cages
  • moonlitdreams2
    moonlitdreams2 Posts: 83
    wait there are women at the batting cages?

    lol here there are :)

    Well then time to get off POF and pick up a bat and head to the cages

    I plan on starting baseball again. There's a co-ed summer league starting, but I'm not sure if I'll have time so playing in the park or heading to the cages
  • Amazing1985RSD
    Amazing1985RSD Posts: 280
    I usually try to meet girls at the gym. I haven't done too well with online dating. Girls don't usually respond to my messages.
  • jamielr84
    jamielr84 Posts: 545
    I need to know the answer to this too!
    I'm on pof too, but I can't keep up with it. I don't make good decisions when I go out drinking, so the bars not a good idea for me to meet a man. lol So really, where do you go to meet someone??
  • jamielr84
    jamielr84 Posts: 545
    .
  • kf4vkp
    kf4vkp Posts: 164 Member
    Me either, and POF was so bad I started a blog about dating online. (www.datingisdangerous.com)

    Part of my problem is I work far too much. But even then, some of my jobs are prime for meeting people.

    I try to go to meetups though they are often a drive for me. But have had a date or two from that.

    Events and Adventures (a social club) is a rip off. They wanted something like $2300 for one year....ridiculous!
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    I need to know the answer to this too!
    I'm on pof too, but I can't keep up with it. I don't make good decisions when I go out drinking, so the bars not a good idea for me to meet a man. lol So really, where do you go to meet someone??

    want to go grab a drink :) hehe

    On a serious note my plan for meeting somone is the following: I am doing more activities that I enjoy, racquetball league, hiking, bowling league, shooting range, and other outdoor things. The hard part is while doing these activites I MUST talk to ladies and get to know them.
  • bluefish49
    bluefish49 Posts: 102 Member
    I have recently tried on-line dating. After studying what women are looking for I decided to open my profile with:


    "I am not athletic and toned, I do not make $100,000+ , and I live 3 hours from the beach so I normally don't take long walks there.
    If you are still reading this......."


    Surely none of these women are so shallow that they are only looking for a rich hunk, so all I can think of is that it must be the distance from the beach that's keeping them away in droves. .:ohwell:
  • Bbwnomore2
    Bbwnomore2 Posts: 225 Member
    church, can i get an amen!!
  • kf4vkp
    kf4vkp Posts: 164 Member
    I need to know the answer to this too!
    I'm on pof too, but I can't keep up with it. I don't make good decisions when I go out drinking, so the bars not a good idea for me to meet a man. lol So really, where do you go to meet someone??

    want to go grab a drink :) hehe

    On a serious note my plan for meeting somone is the following: I am doing more activities that I enjoy, racquetball league, hiking, bowling league, shooting range, and other outdoor things. The hard part is while doing these activites I MUST talk to ladies and get to know them.

    Just don't open up with "Hey Sweetheart, what's your name?"
  • grum84
    grum84 Posts: 428 Member
    I don't know the type of area that you are in, but for me, I have had success with meetup groups (meetup.com). I just joined a few groups of varying interests and try to attend those. The people in them vary in age and single status, but at least we have some common interests rights off the bat.

    Example...played trampoline dodgeball with the meetup group which was a ton of fun. Accidentally hit a girl in the head with a ball (can't exactly aim for head shots when hopping on trampolines), and I felt really bad about it. So bought her a drink after and we dated off and on for a while.
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    I need to know the answer to this too!
    I'm on pof too, but I can't keep up with it. I don't make good decisions when I go out drinking, so the bars not a good idea for me to meet a man. lol So really, where do you go to meet someone??

    want to go grab a drink :) hehe

    On a serious note my plan for meeting somone is the following: I am doing more activities that I enjoy, racquetball league, hiking, bowling league, shooting range, and other outdoor things. The hard part is while doing these activites I MUST talk to ladies and get to know them.

    Just don't open up with "Hey Sweetheart, what's your name?"

    or "hey baby, whats your sign?"
  • kt_731
    kt_731 Posts: 74 Member
    Me either, and POF was so bad I started a blog about dating online. (www.datingisdangerous.com)

    Part of my problem is I work far too much. But even then, some of my jobs are prime for meeting people.

    I try to go to meetups though they are often a drive for me. But have had a date or two from that.

    Events and Adventures (a social club) is a rip off. They wanted something like $2300 for one year....ridiculous!

    I just read your whole blog, this is awesome! I totally agree with so much that you have posted.
  • goldylocs37
    goldylocs37 Posts: 108 Member
    wait there are women at the batting cages?

    Pretty dang funny.....
  • goldylocs37
    goldylocs37 Posts: 108 Member
    Me either, and POF was so bad I started a blog about dating online. (www.datingisdangerous.com)

    Part of my problem is I work far too much. But even then, some of my jobs are prime for meeting people.

    I try to go to meetups though they are often a drive for me. But have had a date or two from that.

    Events and Adventures (a social club) is a rip off. They wanted something like $2300 for one year....ridiculous!
  • goldylocs37
    goldylocs37 Posts: 108 Member
  • goldylocs37
    goldylocs37 Posts: 108 Member
    I'm definitely going to read your blog. A friend just told me about another online dating blog that's very entertaining.:laugh: And to the batting cage girl, if you feel like you're the only one out there looking for :heart: , check out Melanie's blog at 1yearofonlinedatingat50.com. Although you're definitely not 50, reading this will make you feel a whole lot better!
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
    wait there are women at the batting cages?

    You bet! I bring my son up there 1-2 times per week. I did meet a guy there once.

    I agree with the others who said to just continue doing what you enjoy. At least you'll know you have things in common. :)
  • harkly
    harkly Posts: 7
    I typically don't date anyone that I don't know at least a little but I moved and now its hard : (

    Online is pretty scary, I've never tried it but a freind has and she runs into some very strange people. There are lots of sites geared towards certain niches. Found one for people who have lost weight or for healthy living - wlsingles.com
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Don't put yourself down. I'd be interested in you at the gym as long as you weren't one of those girls that does dumb bell curls while jogging while reading a fashion magazine at the same time. Safety first!
  • jamieralph
    jamieralph Posts: 45 Member
    Know where you're coming from. Don't tend to go out to bars these days as everyone I know is married with kids so we tend to stay in or just go for a few pints, our pulling days are over (not that I was any good at that anyway!). The only way I seem to meet women is via online dating (and even then it's few and far between). I've found that the free dating sites like POF and Oasis are a waste of time, you just seem to attract the wrong type of people on there.

    Would love to meet someone at the gym but wouldn't know where to start to be honest. Samantha I'd be interested in you if I saw you at the gym. ;)
  • bound4beauty
    bound4beauty Posts: 274 Member
    I have the same problem. I've been single for a very long time and have created a wonderful, happy, fulfilling life for myself but I have very few outlets for meeting men. I work from home which makes it difficult, most of my friends are gay because of my involvement with gay rights, including singing in an LGBT friendly chorus and I have no idea how to meet a guy at the gym even though I'm there 5 times a week.

    I'm on POF too and that's going nowhere. Lot's of men are "interested" in me but they never actually contact me. I figure if you don't have the balls to send me a message then you aren't anyone I'd be interested in dating anyway. I reach out to guys that have interesting profiles and common interests but the majority of them don't reply. The whole this is just so awkward and can be so demeaning.

    So, I've decided to just keeping working on myself, building up my self-esteem and maybe I'll work up the nerve to approach someone at the gym myself someday :)
  • Apogree
    Apogree Posts: 12 Member
    I'm going to agree with a few people on here. Meetup.com is a great place to start. I've tried the online thing, Okcupid was my cup o' tea. There's good and bad on there, but it's a lot to shift through somedays. I haven't been on that site for around half a year now.

    Hmmm other than that, you could try speed dating events in the area. I've never tried them, but you'd get to meet the guys in person instead of wondering if they posted a picture that was 10 years old!

    Other than that, I'm in the same boat as you. I don't approach guys in the gym, especially when I'm surrounded by women in sports bras and shortie shorts. I don't think I could ever date a guy that I felt not good enough to date since they're healthy and I'm not yet. I'm sure we'll all figure something out eventually.

    Maybe it will rain (sane) men one day? :P
  • Helenal91
    Helenal91 Posts: 71
    I have the same problem. Well I meet men, but they are only interested in one thing!

    Where are all the genuine nice men at? Do they even exist? Should I just become a nun?
    These are questions I often ask myself. if anybody could enlighten me it would be gravely appreciated :D
  • teshiburu
    teshiburu Posts: 262 Member
    I have the same problem. Well I meet men, but they are only interested in one thing!

    Where are all the genuine nice men at? Do they even exist? Should I just become a nun?
    These are questions I often ask myself. if anybody could enlighten me it would be gravely appreciated :D

    All you women struggling to find men, yet when I have messaged people on the dating sites mentioned below I get next to no replies :(

    Becoming a nun? yeah I think I'm going that way myself, at least there will be nuns in the same places as the Monks :P

    Yet, here I am "single and ready to mingle" as they say lol!

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