The "it's all ruined" mindset

Chocoholic55555

Does anyone else find this?

Sometimes, I can eat something unplanned (usually earlier in the day, usually sugar based) and I realise that, no matter how much I exercise, I have no where near enough calories to eat my remaining meals for the rest of the day without going over my calories. This often leads to feelings of guilt for haven eaten said food. The thought then enters my mind "it's all ruined now, I may as well just eat whatever I want".

Sometimes I even think that I may as well eat all the food that would normally tempt me to binge because

a) I won't be allowed it tomorrow as I'll have to be good to make up for today, and

b) I nee to get rid of said food (by consuming it) so that I'm not tempted tomorrow.

Then comes the binge..........

I know this doesn't seem rational, but it's how my brain seems to work at the moment.

All of this is usually combined with feeling sad / upset / angry / tired. I'm far more likely to succumb to the binge if these emotions are in play.

Springfield_Rocks

I do the EXACT same thing.

I am just trying to tell myself it's "the binge talking". I am trying to identify "the binge" for what it is. Self destructive behaviour that is keeping me from my goals.

If I screw up then I have to reject the idea of "well it's over now I might as well enjoy it".

I will try to take the mistakes as they come and not add to it by throwing in the towel and giving the binge monster what it wants.

Hang in there. :-)

Chibea

I do this too.
Some days I think I shouldn't let my diary be seen, because I feel so much worse about my food failures if my friends can see them.
Eating too much at the beginning of the day is a huge trap, which I haven't figured out how to escape from.

I have this mindset leftover from yesterday when I messed up and ate too much - partially because there isn't enough healthy food here. Now, I don't dare go to the grocery store in this frame of mind.....I've been struggling with it all day and a good, healthy day of eating would be great..but, again, I don't dare go shopping:huh:

mom2izzyandallen

All or nothing thinking...yes. me too

Toomanytwinkies

Been there soooo many times...sigh

dladisheff

Yes, that's exactly what I do. A book I've been reading says that it is all important to get back on track immediately....but that is so hard to do. The minute I eat something extra and I've gone over my calories in the evening, I blow the rest of the evening and night. I am working on this all or nothing thinking.

dladisheff

Yes, that's exactly what I do. A book I've been reading says that it is all important to get back on track immediately....but that is so hard to do. The minute I eat something extra and I've gone over my calories in the evening, I blow the rest of the evening and night. I am working on this all or nothing thinking.

Donna L.

tequila09

i do the same thing as well. i eat one bad thing and before i know it i'm up to 4000 calories, crying and with a tummy ache. i do so much better when i plan ahead but sometimes things don't go as planned and it is too easy to slip back into the bad habits. i don't know what to do with myself anymore. i'm so disappointed with myself

dladisheff

"When things don't go as I planned".....that's a big trigger for me. Especially if supper can't be when and what I expected, I'm tempted to just give up and eat whatever I want and feel that I deserve to. I understand the mindset!

karendee4

As much as I try not to think "its all runined" i seem to do it anyway. I just give up and it is hard to stop eating!!

run252

this is exactly me!!! especially realizing that you probably won't let yourself eat that tomorrow and/or will be tempted to eat it so you should eat it all now to get rid of it.

eating a lot early in the day is also a trigger for me, or going over my calories just by a bit usually causes me to blow the whole evening! its a self-destructive path, and through it i almost confirm the fear/worry that i would binge

dladisheff

Exactly! I just binged for 3 days because of these same reasons. I'm trying to learn to combat them but it is very difficult.

Chibea

I love that we analyze this stuff on here. In the past, I would just hate myself for this sort of behavior and it would go on for days, but since I've been on MFP and specifically in this group, I see myself using the rational part of my brain to handle these things. Like, for instance, I know I don't want to read all the sympathy comments when I go over my calories. That''s part of what triggers me to give up. So, if I'm on a binge, I make my diary private so I will keep logging every bite I put in my mouth and I can watch the calories add up. Seeing it in black and white on the screen helps me a lot! My mind goes blank when I'm in a binge state, but if I'm logging, it sort of keeps me somewhat conscious of what I am doing. May be it takes some of the pleasure out of it....
It's harder to get into that all or nothing thinking when I can see how many calories I'm going to have to skip to make up for the binge. I always tell myself that it doesn't matter, that I will make it up. Magical thinking.

Oh, and when I complete my diary for the day and it says I will weigh 40 pounds more in five weeks if I eat like that everyday...wow, wakes me right up!!!!!!

hdkerr

Yep. totally me too. Every last bit of it. Thank God for all of you and this group.

escapepod

I came across an analogy to this once that I try to bear in mind when I find myself using one bad food choice to binge the rest of the day. It's like getting a flat tire on your car, and deciding you might as well get out and slash the other three tires as well, and maybe smash a window or two while you're at it. It's so obvoiusly ludicrous, and I try to remind myself that getting completely derailed for the rest of the day is just as silly a reaction.

Tatyanakuster

My mind works like this 100% of the time!!!! Sometimes I feel like it has to be all or nothing which makes me so mad at the people that can have just one cookie!!!

intothepavement

That's EXACTLY how my mind works. In fact, I had a half a muffin with a friend at starbuck's today and logged it, and immediately went into the "well, you're screwed now.." mindset. I'm struggling with it as we speak.
I try my best to remember, that, at the end of the day, going over by 200 cals is better than going over by 2000.

RubyRosee1

I do that all the time (about every two days or so) It's a horrible feeling and it really sucks. How do you get through it?

SessiebeeM02

Exactly the same with me too.

Yesterday was the 1st day of Me Vs. June challenge I was being extra careful not to eat anything I'd consider "binge food" but at night I gave in and had some but I surprised myself by just stopping and trying not to think about it. Eventually I just forgot and didn't think about it so I didn't go overboard. I didn't go over my calories for the day by a whole lot, just around 100. I'm proud of myself for that.

Usually I'd eat some junk food, then I feel guilty and tell myself it's all over. The day's work of staying away from the binge has been ruined and I might as well keep on eating.... and I literally do.
It needs to STOP. I need to STOP that.

tdugger05

I am new to this site but I've had this mindset for years. It is a vicious cycle that is hard to break. I used to "punish" myself with food for lack of a better word. If I gained weight or had a bad workout I would get frustrated and go spend $20 at a fast food place and eat until I was sick. Then since I ruined that part of the day, why not the whole day since it's already doomed! It's hard to break out of that cycle and I'm hoping I can finally do it and be successful.

FussyFruitbat

I've been struggling with this since December, when I started trying to lose weight (instead of just binging and not giving it much thought.) If I eat anything over my calorie goal for the day, I feel like giving it all up and eating whatever. Sometimes it takes days or even weeks to get back on the wagon.

Today I ate a little bit of popcorn and had a soda at the movies that put me a few hundred over my goal (which I'm not worried about due to all I've been burning lately and not being able to eat it all back) and I haven't binged. : ) This is going to be my first binge free week in a long time fingers crossed.