Trying to break the binging habit

ergumm

I am 52 and I've battled with my weight for about 20 years. I am not really sure when I started binge eating. I lost my mother in 1998 and it left me completely devastated. I was so crushed. I didn't think I would ever recover. I think I might have started turning more to food then, but I don't think I started binge eating yet. In 2000, I had all but one joint in my right foot removed. The joints were fused together with cadaver bone. I tried going back to work after this surgery, but my toes kept breaking. I was forced to leave my job of 10 years. The doctor told me I shouldn't be on my feet for more than 20 minutes at a time. The binge eating started sometime between then and a year ago. I don't know how long I was doing it before I realized I had a problem. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last July and we lost him December 6th. I was left feeling like an orphan...i know, I was a pretty old orphan, but none the less, it has changed me. In some ways its made me a better person to watch my dad being so brave and strong and such a better person than myself, and in other ways, I think I have changed for the worse. I keep everyone at a distance....including my husband. I can't bear hurting anymore! I want to get my life together and that means learning to love myself again. Something I haven't done in a very long time! I failed to mention that I was in an abusive marriage for 8 years. That sucked!! I got away from that many years ago, but I don't think I have ever healed mentally. I want to lose weight and learn to at least like myself! When I start feeling overwhelmed or out of control, I eat...EVERYTHING I shouldn't!!! Anything in the house that is bad for me or that I have the stuff to make that is bad for me. I eat until my stomach hurts! I thought I could control this by logging my food on here, but yesterday I had a setback. I ate the healthy stuff first, then I added pizza rolls and crackers and a pint of ice cream. Either my stomach is shrinking or I body didn't like what I was doing, because I ended up vomiting....not by choice! That really opened my eyes to the problem I have. I hope that joining this group will help me with the binge eating and learning from all of you how to find better ways to deal with my feelings of loss, regret and self-hatred. Sorry that I have rambled on so much lol. Thanks for having this group for me to join :-)

Forest777

One thing that helped me is to plan a snack at night. That was my most vulnerable time for binging, like many people. And not a small snack, but a nice, satisfying snack with protein, fat, fiber and whole grain carbs. Maybe 300 or 350 cals. I plan for this now and I've managed to keep the night binges away. Fiber helps a lot. My new favorite are those Fiber One English Muffins. Delicious and very filling. For me, the less I did it, the less I wanted to overeat at night. But having something planned is key for me. Hang in there.

ergumm

Thank you! My binge eating is usually after lunch when I'm home alone...which I am most days! Kids are all grown and hubby works 12 hrs. I live way out in the boonies, so I have to drive at least 20 miles to the nearest town to do anything. I know I can find lots of things around here to do to keep my mind off food. It's just getting motivated to do it! I am hoping that signing in here when I feel the need to binge will help! At least I know I'm not alone :-)

tlelizondo

I wish i had read this an hour ago before I ate Chinese takeout! I have really been struggling too. I am often home alone and turn to food. I live close to many fast food places so that does not help. I am going to try what you said - checking in here when i feel like binging. I have got to get control of this emotional eating. I wish you luck as well.

Helenabc

Hi,

My heart breaks for you. You have had such a hard time of it. So I can understand that you are turning to food as it is your comfort. I binge when I am emotional and I still binge but not as often or as much. It is so hard to change a habit quickly. So try and have some things to do to help you with your emotions (notes around the house, movie to watch, book to read especially positive and inspiration books - whatever that is for you, a friend to ring, great herbal teas, healthier snacks like fruit, nuts etc) These will help some days and others day maybe not so much. Focus on the good days, be kind to yourself, be kind to your body and hopeful the good emotions will help to shift the negative ones. Wishing you all the best!

jenlovesjeff

Helenabc, I liked your post. We should be kind to ourselves. Especially when we eat emotionally.

Of course that's much easier to say than to do. I've been binging for years now. I lost 50 pounds a couple years ago and now I've gained 60 back! I don't want to binge and I still do. Sometimes it's just little binges, like 2 bowls of ice cream instead of 1. Other times it's worse. It's especially hard now. I'm home alone all day and I'm recovering from an injury so I can't get out and move. Any time I feel too anxious, bored, restless, sad, lonely I feel like I have to binge. I want so badly to stop. People in my life tell me "Just don't eat the brownies." I wish it felt that simple.

petstorekitty

I am 52 and I've battled with my weight for about 20 years. I am not really sure when I started binge eating. I lost my mother in 1998 and it left me completely devastated. I was so crushed. I didn't think I would ever recover. I think I might have started turning more to food then, but I don't think I started binge eating yet. In 2000, I had all but one joint in my right foot removed. The joints were fused together with cadaver bone. I tried going back to work after this surgery, but my toes kept breaking. I was forced to leave my job of 10 years. The doctor told me I shouldn't be on my feet for more than 20 minutes at a time. The binge eating started sometime between then and a year ago. I don't know how long I was doing it before I realized I had a problem. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last July and we lost him December 6th. I was left feeling like an orphan...i know, I was a pretty old orphan, but none the less, it has changed me. In some ways its made me a better person to watch my dad being so brave and strong and such a better person than myself, and in other ways, I think I have changed for the worse. I keep everyone at a distance....including my husband. I can't bear hurting anymore! I want to get my life together and that means learning to love myself again. Something I haven't done in a very long time! I failed to mention that I was in an abusive marriage for 8 years. That sucked!! I got away from that many years ago, but I don't think I have ever healed mentally. I want to lose weight and learn to at least like myself! When I start feeling overwhelmed or out of control, I eat...EVERYTHING I shouldn't!!! Anything in the house that is bad for me or that I have the stuff to make that is bad for me. I eat until my stomach hurts! I thought I could control this by logging my food on here, but yesterday I had a setback. I ate the healthy stuff first, then I added pizza rolls and crackers and a pint of ice cream. Either my stomach is shrinking or I body didn't like what I was doing, because I ended up vomiting....not by choice! That really opened my eyes to the problem I have. I hope that joining this group will help me with the binge eating and learning from all of you how to find better ways to deal with my feelings of loss, regret and self-hatred. Sorry that I have rambled on so much lol. Thanks for having this group for me to join :-)

I wanna write something all super supportive here but my mind is all jumbled.
I'm 31 and have been over-eating and binging since I was a kid. I used to sneak out of bed and eat all night.
I'm rarely alone so my binging is usually in transit and in secret.
I moved in with my boyfriend in October and since I've been trying to lose weight it's been a battle of holding myself accountable. At the moment I log everything I eat, even when I'm super ashamed.

Anyway my real point was that, my mom who is 62, has similar eating issues as you. She also lost her parents in crappy ways and had a hard time dealing with it. Also she was injured at work years back and spends a lot of time at home alone. She works part-time now.

She's gone through a lot of therapy but most recently started talking to some people at her insurance company who basically gave her healthy eating ideas and support. Her version of MFP I guess.

She started learning what is OK and what is not and what's important and what is not.
Sticking to set meal times and eating things she knows are best for her - while she also cooks for my dad, who doesn't really want to eat healthy, but I think even he's eating better now.

She can't do much in the way of exercise but in the summer she can swim (there's a pool at their complex)

I'm sure she still has days where she only eats chips and coke, but controling emotional eating isn't perfect; it's an addiction of sorts, like any other and must be taken one day at a time.