Trendy Geeks
Replies
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I guess that's the thing though - they're NOT hipster glasses. Nor are they GEEK glasses.
They're glasses.
It's a fashion statement for sure, but why do we feel the need to put ourselves into tidy, neat little categorized boxes to tell the world who we are? Can't we just wear something because we like the way it looks without the need to worry if we're trending outside of our box or far enough into it?
Yeah fashion doesn't bother me either. It's the mentality that bothers me.0 -
Interesting thread,
. A few random and possibly unconnected thoughts...
First, along the lines of someone being out of your league...I've never liked that term. I would say we all have different interests, obsessions, hobbies, etc. So when I see some buffed out guy walking with a strut I enjoy the view to be sure, but I never had considered that type someone I wanted to date. I'm not interested in muscles, I'm interested in other things and at the risk of stereotyping, he is probably more interested in a girls appearance than other qualities. I did not marry a geek. Unless Band Geek counts,
. He's a runner, outgoing, mountain biking, camping, outdoorsy kind of guy. But he thinks my obsessions with Star Trek, LOTR, Harry Potter, WOW and other such things entertaining and adorable.
As for the flash back to high school, i was a different person in a lot of ways. High school is always messy no matter who you are, I don't think my hubby and I would have been friends in high school. He was popular in high school and I was not. But by the time college had rolled around I had learned some social skills, accepted myself in all my geeky glory and had gained confidence that he found attractive. I honestly think he wouldn't have paid much attention to me in high school if we had met. Not because he was mean or shallow, but because I worked very hard to not draw attention to myself. High school is a planet of it's own where the pecking order is exaggerated and hormones are flying and everyone is just trying to figure out who they are. I refuse to judge anyone based on how they were in high school. In fact, I have had some awesome and healing conversations with many of those who picked on and even tormented me in high school. Why? Because they grew up, learned from their mistakes in adolescence and are now pretty cool. So if it's bad for a girl to judge what you were like in high school....I would say the same for those of us judging people who were cool or jocks in high school.0 -
Interesting thread,. A few random and possibly unconnected thoughts...
First, along the lines of someone being out of your league...I've never liked that term. I would say we all have different interests, obsessions, hobbies, etc. So when I see some buffed out guy walking with a strut I enjoy the view to be sure, but I never had considered that type someone I wanted to date. I'm not interested in muscles, I'm interested in other things and at the risk of stereotyping, he is probably more interested in a girls appearance than other qualities. I did not marry a geek. Unless Band Geek counts,. He's a runner, outgoing, mountain biking, camping, outdoorsy kind of guy. But he thinks my obsessions with Star Trek, LOTR, Harry Potter, WOW and other such things entertaining and adorable.
As for the flash back to high school, i was a different person in a lot of ways. High school is always messy no matter who you are, I don't think my hubby and I would have been friends in high school. He was popular in high school and I was not. But by the time college had rolled around I had learned some social skills, accepted myself in all my geeky glory and had gained confidence that he found attractive. I honestly think he wouldn't have paid much attention to me in high school if we had met. Not because he was mean or shallow, but because I worked very hard to not draw attention to myself. High school is a planet of it's own where the pecking order is exaggerated and hormones are flying and everyone is just trying to figure out who they are. I refuse to judge anyone based on how they were in high school. In fact, I have had some awesome and healing conversations with many of those who picked on and even tormented me in high school. Why? Because they grew up, learned from their mistakes in adolescence and are now pretty cool. So if it's bad for a girl to judge what you were like in high school....I would say the same for those of us judging people who were cool or jocks in high school.
I sometimes wonder how a conversation would go between me and my tormentors. I am self aware enough to know that I have not forgiven them and I certainly haven't forgotten what they did. None of them have ever done anything to apologize and I am quite certain that none of them even consider what they did to me a big deal. I am sure they have forgotten about it completely. I would not be surprised at all if they simply thought of it like "Oh that was so long ago. Just get over it."
While I think that is the most realistic way of looking at it I don't know if it would make any difference at all if they actually tried to apologize. In other aspects of my life and with other people I am not one to hold a grudge but I doubt I will ever let go of the resentment I have for these people. It is possible that they grew up and they may have matured but that doesn't change what they have done to me.
I don't know if I can explain just how bad it was with words. It was brutal and relentless. I just knew that every single day I would go to a place where I would be mocked and ridiculed and perhaps even beaten day in and day out. They even looked forward to it. They were excited by the opportunity. How could I ever see them as actual people? Even to this very day.0 -
Interesting thread,. A few random and possibly unconnected thoughts...
First, along the lines of someone being out of your league...I've never liked that term. I would say we all have different interests, obsessions, hobbies, etc. So when I see some buffed out guy walking with a strut I enjoy the view to be sure, but I never had considered that type someone I wanted to date. I'm not interested in muscles, I'm interested in other things and at the risk of stereotyping, he is probably more interested in a girls appearance than other qualities. I did not marry a geek. Unless Band Geek counts,. He's a runner, outgoing, mountain biking, camping, outdoorsy kind of guy. But he thinks my obsessions with Star Trek, LOTR, Harry Potter, WOW and other such things entertaining and adorable.
As for the flash back to high school, i was a different person in a lot of ways. High school is always messy no matter who you are, I don't think my hubby and I would have been friends in high school. He was popular in high school and I was not. But by the time college had rolled around I had learned some social skills, accepted myself in all my geeky glory and had gained confidence that he found attractive. I honestly think he wouldn't have paid much attention to me in high school if we had met. Not because he was mean or shallow, but because I worked very hard to not draw attention to myself. High school is a planet of it's own where the pecking order is exaggerated and hormones are flying and everyone is just trying to figure out who they are. I refuse to judge anyone based on how they were in high school. In fact, I have had some awesome and healing conversations with many of those who picked on and even tormented me in high school. Why? Because they grew up, learned from their mistakes in adolescence and are now pretty cool. So if it's bad for a girl to judge what you were like in high school....I would say the same for those of us judging people who were cool or jocks in high school.
I sometimes wonder how a conversation would go between me and my tormentors. I am self aware enough to know that I have not forgiven them and I certainly haven't forgotten what they did. None of them have ever done anything to apologize and I am quite certain that none of them even consider what they did to me a big deal. I am sure they have forgotten about it completely. I would not be surprised at all if they simply thought of it like "Oh that was so long ago. Just get over it."
While I think that is the most realistic way of looking at it I don't know if it would make any difference at all if they actually tried to apologize. In other aspects of my life and with other people I am not one to hold a grudge but I doubt I will ever let go of the resentment I have for these people. It is possible that they grew up and they may have matured but that doesn't change what they have done to me.
I don't know if I can explain just how bad it was with words. It was brutal and relentless. I just knew that every single day I would go to a place where I would be mocked and ridiculed and perhaps even beaten day in and day out. They even looked forward to it. They were excited by the opportunity. How could I ever see them as actual people? Even to this very day.
Quite the opposite for me. I didn't hide, in fact, I stood out quite a bit. I was 1 of 3 total Hispanics of a student body of 700ish peeps. Plus being 6'3 and nearly 300 lbs for most of high school, I was built like linebacker. I didn't play any sports but I looked like I did, though clothes did hide most of the fluffy parts q=.
I didn't avoid hanging out with certain people. I was friends with anyone who was friendly towards me which were geeks, popular kids, jocks, etc etc. I didn't hide my geeky obsessions back then either. I played MtG with other kids, read comic books, was into anime, etc etc. I don't know if it was the area I grew up in, or my physical size, but I was never picked on for my geeky obsessions while in high school by other kids.0 -
Interesting thread,. A few random and possibly unconnected thoughts...
First, along the lines of someone being out of your league...I've never liked that term. I would say we all have different interests, obsessions, hobbies, etc. So when I see some buffed out guy walking with a strut I enjoy the view to be sure, but I never had considered that type someone I wanted to date. I'm not interested in muscles, I'm interested in other things and at the risk of stereotyping, he is probably more interested in a girls appearance than other qualities. I did not marry a geek. Unless Band Geek counts,. He's a runner, outgoing, mountain biking, camping, outdoorsy kind of guy. But he thinks my obsessions with Star Trek, LOTR, Harry Potter, WOW and other such things entertaining and adorable.
As for the flash back to high school, i was a different person in a lot of ways. High school is always messy no matter who you are, I don't think my hubby and I would have been friends in high school. He was popular in high school and I was not. But by the time college had rolled around I had learned some social skills, accepted myself in all my geeky glory and had gained confidence that he found attractive. I honestly think he wouldn't have paid much attention to me in high school if we had met. Not because he was mean or shallow, but because I worked very hard to not draw attention to myself. High school is a planet of it's own where the pecking order is exaggerated and hormones are flying and everyone is just trying to figure out who they are. I refuse to judge anyone based on how they were in high school. In fact, I have had some awesome and healing conversations with many of those who picked on and even tormented me in high school. Why? Because they grew up, learned from their mistakes in adolescence and are now pretty cool. So if it's bad for a girl to judge what you were like in high school....I would say the same for those of us judging people who were cool or jocks in high school.
I sometimes wonder how a conversation would go between me and my tormentors. I am self aware enough to know that I have not forgiven them and I certainly haven't forgotten what they did. None of them have ever done anything to apologize and I am quite certain that none of them even consider what they did to me a big deal. I am sure they have forgotten about it completely. I would not be surprised at all if they simply thought of it like "Oh that was so long ago. Just get over it."
While I think that is the most realistic way of looking at it I don't know if it would make any difference at all if they actually tried to apologize. In other aspects of my life and with other people I am not one to hold a grudge but I doubt I will ever let go of the resentment I have for these people. It is possible that they grew up and they may have matured but that doesn't change what they have done to me.
I don't know if I can explain just how bad it was with words. It was brutal and relentless. I just knew that every single day I would go to a place where I would be mocked and ridiculed and perhaps even beaten day in and day out. They even looked forward to it. They were excited by the opportunity. How could I ever see them as actual people? Even to this very day.
Just to clarify...this wasn't some small thing I needed to forgive, and considering I graduated almost 15 years ago, it took a long time to happen. The thing about forgiveness is that it's not for their benefit. I don't forgive them because they now deserve it, or because it wasn't that bad. I spent all of high school locked in my room either crying, watching movies, or reading, I was depressed, beaten down and even to this day struggle with my self image and insecurities that my hubby can't understand. I don't forgive them for them, I do it for me. Because resentment, bitterness, and anger eat away at me. It robs me of my joy in my accomplishments, prevents me from living life fully, and leaks into other areas of my life. It is NOT saying that what they did is okay, it's a choice I made that I refuse to dwell on it, and instead move on. It's not easy and took almost 15 years to do, but the freedom I have since experienced has been remarkable.
Ok, done with the preaching now. 0 -
This thread pretty much defined my life as it has most of yours as well. I will say, that who cares about forgiveness when you get the oppertunity to sit back and watch their lives crumble. The best part about that is that with Facebook, Twitter etc, it is now on full display for the world to see. Those who were "popular" back then are still being watched by everyone now. I enjoy seeing my old classmates in the news for drug charges, forclosures, divorce. While it is good that my relative anonimity has granted me the ability to be part of the crowd, it also helps that I can do so while not being a total screwup.
Kap-lah!0 -
Interesting thread,. A few random and possibly unconnected thoughts...
First, along the lines of someone being out of your league...I've never liked that term. I would say we all have different interests, obsessions, hobbies, etc. So when I see some buffed out guy walking with a strut I enjoy the view to be sure, but I never had considered that type someone I wanted to date. I'm not interested in muscles, I'm interested in other things and at the risk of stereotyping, he is probably more interested in a girls appearance than other qualities. I did not marry a geek. Unless Band Geek counts,. He's a runner, outgoing, mountain biking, camping, outdoorsy kind of guy. But he thinks my obsessions with Star Trek, LOTR, Harry Potter, WOW and other such things entertaining and adorable.
As for the flash back to high school, i was a different person in a lot of ways. High school is always messy no matter who you are, I don't think my hubby and I would have been friends in high school. He was popular in high school and I was not. But by the time college had rolled around I had learned some social skills, accepted myself in all my geeky glory and had gained confidence that he found attractive. I honestly think he wouldn't have paid much attention to me in high school if we had met. Not because he was mean or shallow, but because I worked very hard to not draw attention to myself. High school is a planet of it's own where the pecking order is exaggerated and hormones are flying and everyone is just trying to figure out who they are. I refuse to judge anyone based on how they were in high school. In fact, I have had some awesome and healing conversations with many of those who picked on and even tormented me in high school. Why? Because they grew up, learned from their mistakes in adolescence and are now pretty cool. So if it's bad for a girl to judge what you were like in high school....I would say the same for those of us judging people who were cool or jocks in high school.
I sometimes wonder how a conversation would go between me and my tormentors. I am self aware enough to know that I have not forgiven them and I certainly haven't forgotten what they did. None of them have ever done anything to apologize and I am quite certain that none of them even consider what they did to me a big deal. I am sure they have forgotten about it completely. I would not be surprised at all if they simply thought of it like "Oh that was so long ago. Just get over it."
While I think that is the most realistic way of looking at it I don't know if it would make any difference at all if they actually tried to apologize. In other aspects of my life and with other people I am not one to hold a grudge but I doubt I will ever let go of the resentment I have for these people. It is possible that they grew up and they may have matured but that doesn't change what they have done to me.
I don't know if I can explain just how bad it was with words. It was brutal and relentless. I just knew that every single day I would go to a place where I would be mocked and ridiculed and perhaps even beaten day in and day out. They even looked forward to it. They were excited by the opportunity. How could I ever see them as actual people? Even to this very day.
Just to clarify...this wasn't some small thing I needed to forgive, and considering I graduated almost 15 years ago, it took a long time to happen. The thing about forgiveness is that it's not for their benefit. I don't forgive them because they now deserve it, or because it wasn't that bad. I spent all of high school locked in my room either crying, watching movies, or reading, I was depressed, beaten down and even to this day struggle with my self image and insecurities that my hubby can't understand. I don't forgive them for them, I do it for me. Because resentment, bitterness, and anger eat away at me. It robs me of my joy in my accomplishments, prevents me from living life fully, and leaks into other areas of my life. It is NOT saying that what they did is okay, it's a choice I made that I refuse to dwell on it, and instead move on. It's not easy and took almost 15 years to do, but the freedom I have since experienced has been remarkable.
Ok, done with the preaching now.
In other aspects of my life I am not one to hold a grudge. I really do understand what you are saying. I am not saying that what I went through was necessarily worse than what was done to you. What I am saying is that forgiveness is still a long ways off for me. I can recognize the school of thought that forgiving them would benefit me and I could say the words, but as for any actual genuine forgiveness I just don't see how I can do it. I feel deeply wronged and I don't feel that I am able to actually and honestly forgive them. A very real and undeniable part of me doesn't even want to forgive them.
Clearly I don't dwell on it to the point where it is preventing me from being successful in life. I don't know what sort of impact holding on to this anger is having on me but if there is a negative side effect I am susceptible to it because I know that I haven't let it go. I don't even know where I would begin. I know that I have been angry with them for so long I can't even imagine being able to see them any other way.
I still want them to be held accountable. I want them to suffer as I have at their hands and I don't think that is never going to happen.0
This discussion has been closed.