I feel a weight lifted just by joining you here.
dmshores
Posts: 7 Member
Hi! I have been on MFP for a long time, but never really got into the boards. I tire of feeling like a failure each time I: 1. get motivated and gung ho and then 2: binge and feel like crap and can't get it back together and have to slink away from a group or admit that I have fallen off the wagon.
Even now, I am in a group with a bunch of my friends locally that I started, but I have been bingeing almost daily since the end of March and I feel like a hypocrite.
I am 39 y.o., married, have two beautiful boys, am a teacher (8th grade English), and eat relatively well throughout the day, but the nights are awful. I"ve tried to pinpoint where the binge comes from, but I haven't succeeded in finding my trigger yet. I know I associate food with celebration and comfort, but it's also like I"m possessed. I won't sit down with a bag of chips or a box of cookies, but I will take two, eat them, then go back immediately for "just" two more, then two more, and so on. It's a total TASTE thing for me too. I CRAVE the taste of the foods I'm eating. (I've heard before that sometimes it's not a taste thing for some people?)
I always kind of describe it like I say to myself, "Just how bad CAN I eat?" and then do it. During the binge, I feel out of control. After, I usually feel heart palpitations from all the sugar/carbs, and sick to my stomach. Last night as I was reading a story to my boys at bedtime, my belly looked like I was about 6 months pregnant. I'm popping Zantac like candy because all the food is making me have heartburn.
The thing is too, that it flips on and off like a switch. I have always just waited it out in the past. But, the last time this happened, I ballooned up to 192 lbs before it "broke". I am now down about 25 from there (167 ish). (but still up 8 since this binge streak started).
Wow, just typing all this out is helping me already. I always feel like my other friends just don't get it.....they think I just overeat. They say, "put down the bag/box." or "throw away the _____________." It's just not that easy....
I guess, my whole point here is to say hi to everyone and say how thankful I already am for having found this group.
I hope to work through some issues and offer help to others if I am able.
Even now, I am in a group with a bunch of my friends locally that I started, but I have been bingeing almost daily since the end of March and I feel like a hypocrite.
I am 39 y.o., married, have two beautiful boys, am a teacher (8th grade English), and eat relatively well throughout the day, but the nights are awful. I"ve tried to pinpoint where the binge comes from, but I haven't succeeded in finding my trigger yet. I know I associate food with celebration and comfort, but it's also like I"m possessed. I won't sit down with a bag of chips or a box of cookies, but I will take two, eat them, then go back immediately for "just" two more, then two more, and so on. It's a total TASTE thing for me too. I CRAVE the taste of the foods I'm eating. (I've heard before that sometimes it's not a taste thing for some people?)
I always kind of describe it like I say to myself, "Just how bad CAN I eat?" and then do it. During the binge, I feel out of control. After, I usually feel heart palpitations from all the sugar/carbs, and sick to my stomach. Last night as I was reading a story to my boys at bedtime, my belly looked like I was about 6 months pregnant. I'm popping Zantac like candy because all the food is making me have heartburn.
The thing is too, that it flips on and off like a switch. I have always just waited it out in the past. But, the last time this happened, I ballooned up to 192 lbs before it "broke". I am now down about 25 from there (167 ish). (but still up 8 since this binge streak started).
Wow, just typing all this out is helping me already. I always feel like my other friends just don't get it.....they think I just overeat. They say, "put down the bag/box." or "throw away the _____________." It's just not that easy....
I guess, my whole point here is to say hi to everyone and say how thankful I already am for having found this group.
I hope to work through some issues and offer help to others if I am able. 0
Replies
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I can totally relate that it's not easy to put down the box or just don't eat it. In fact, for me it's impossible! I cannot have certain things in the house or I will eat it all at once. I don't even like eating certain things at a restaurant, because once I get a taste, I'll go crazy shopping at the store, then binge out.
I'm finding that pre planning my day of food is really helping me to stay on track. I cannot just wing it at supper time. Of course,, life happens and things come up, but then I search websites for the best food option at a restaurant before I even get there, or log a change of food on MFP before I eat it. That said, I am not perfect and have binged 7 times this month, but that is a huge difference than life before MFP For me, I'm realizing it's ok to be a little bit hungry, because if I try to eat until I'm full I'll just binge constantly. And if I really want the food, it'll be there 15 minutes from now, too. And I can always go to the store, in 15 min, and buy my binge if I really want to.
This group is by far the best for me, and the supportive vibe from everyone has helped me immensely! Welcome!0 -
I can totally relate! I eat for taste too...I can salivate just thinking about the food I want....lol.
I preplan my food too. I'm not good at just winging it either. I haven't been too good about the unexpected popping up but I am learning. Going out to a restaurant gets me every time. I always try to find the restaurant online and plan the best meal I can but when I get there I often just eat what I want.
I've been doing very well since joining MFP. I've been binge free for almost 3 weeks. Planning my food out ahead of time really helps that.
Welcome to the group!
Donna~0 -
I just joined this group and your post was the first one that I read. I finally told my husband last night that I think I have a binging problem and I could tell that he was trying to be supportive but he just didnt get it. He says that I should just not eat it; however, I dont feel like it is even an option. I just wanted to say that I am glad that you posted this becuase I finally feel like yall are people that might actually get "this" and I can relate to.0
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Thx for the replies, ladies. I have been doing well since I came to this group. I am 300 over in calories today, but not the result of a binge, just because I decided to have dessert at DQ after dinner. Hoping I can get it together long term too!0
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Congrats on joining dmshores! Glad to hear you've had a good few days! Check out some of the blogs too, I find they can be helpful:)0
