MEN....Is this true?
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As an update, ...
I actually confronted him on this issue and straight up asked what he wanted. Dating? Friends? It caused a very uncomfortable series of back and forth via text...of course...lol...not so friendly comments from him. I mentioned that another man (a friend) had asked me to dinner but I told him that I wanted to clarify my "friend" relationship first. This only caused him to accuse me of always having one on the hook and he wished he had such a pool to chose from and other lovely insults. I'm not that kind of woman. I just told him that I guess some men recognize a good woman when they see one. He said yes and you are that... followed by other various unkind words. ?????? And he never answered my question.
Bottom line is he said I didn't owe him anything and good luck. This was about 1pm yesterday. I woke up this morning with a text..... a kiss and sweet dreams!!!! OMG this guy is killing me. I give up!!!
I think I will move on and thanks to all of the good advice and insight from you guys.
The real question is WHY would you want to be with someone who spoke (or texted) to you that way? You don't need that... NEXT!!
Oh and lots of guys get down about the fact that women have more options (we've seen it here in Peeps too). That isn't always true anyway, but whatever, that's his self pity that you do not need to feel bad about it.0 -
I did apologize for bringing it up and told him that my hope was the he would tell me what he wanted from me if I let him know that I had another option. I didn't intend for it to come across that way but I understand that it did. I have actually NEVER used this in any other relationship but took the advice of my co-worker and I regret doing and will never do it again.
I don't like texting anything except short messages. I think its highly impersonal and immature to have such a conversation via text, I guess I felt that was my only option since he is never available.
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As an update, ...
I actually confronted him on this issue and straight up asked what he wanted. Dating? Friends? It caused a very uncomfortable series of back and forth via text...of course...lol...not so friendly comments from him. I mentioned that another man (a friend) had asked me to dinner but I told him that I wanted to clarify my "friend" relationship first. This only caused him to accuse me of always having one on the hook and he wished he had such a pool to chose from and other lovely insults. I'm not that kind of woman. I just told him that I guess some men recognize a good woman when they see one. He said yes and you are that... followed by other various unkind words. ?????? And he never answered my question.
Bottom line is he said I didn't owe him anything and good luck. This was about 1pm yesterday. I woke up this morning with a text..... a kiss and sweet dreams!!!! OMG this guy is killing me. I give up!!!
I think I will move on and thanks to all of the good advice and insight from you guys.
The real question is WHY would you want to be with someone who spoke (or texted) to you that way? You don't need that... NEXT!!
Oh and lots of guys get down about the fact that women have more options (we've seen it here in Peeps too). That isn't always true anyway, but whatever, that's his self pity that you do not need to feel bad about it.
I agree that no man should talk to any woman the way he did me. Even via text it was clear what he was implying.0 -
Guy sounds like a total douche. Next!0
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Guy sounds like a total douche. Next!
Definitely moving on! Thx0 -
Guy sounds like a total douche. Next!
reminded me of this :laugh: :laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY9hfo_jJeE 0 -
I agree that this should never have been said over text, however it sounds like you did your best to reach out to him for clarity. If he was really interested in resolving this or making the relationship something more, he would have called.
Sure, you shouldn't have mentioned the other guy. But, it shouldn't have bothered him so much either. You aren't exclusive, you aren't even dating. It sucks to lose a friend, but I think you really need to cut all ties and move on.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
I think you approached that terribly. Just from the perspective that you gave (which is typically biased in the storytellers favor) it sounded awful. If I was flirting with a guy and he said "Hey, I have other options, I just want to know if you are one too" I'd be fairly displeased myself. It sounds like you were trying to come across as aloof and nonthreatening but instead were being demeaning and blase (the *kitten* is the accented e?... whatever). You basically told him that he wasn't THAT important but he MIGHT get lucky maybe. Whether or not you meant it like that. So honestly it's hard for me to simply say "Wow that guy is a douche" when if anything he was responding to the tone you set for the conversation.
I don't think the problem in this instance was text messaging.0 -
^^ Why would you have that kind of discussion via text? You talk about how mean some of his comments were. You don't think refering to telling another guy you had to resolve your "friend" situation doesn't come off as belittling and condescending? You probably both insulted each other more than you would have in a phone or in-person conversation.
I agree. That's not a conversation to have by text. The decision is yours but all is probably not lost either, in case you change your mind. Don't be so impatient and accusatory. And don't bring up other guys. Guys hate when you bring up other guys. No conversation ever goes well when you mention other men... EVER! Even in a relationship.
Now that's not entirely true. It depends on the context and subject matter in which the conversation is presented.
Fair enough, I really meant don't bring up other romantic prospects.0 -
I did apologize for bringing it up and told him that my hope was the he would tell me what he wanted from me if I let him know that I had another option. I didn't intend for it to come across that way but I understand that it did. I have actually NEVER used this in any other relationship but took the advice of my co-worker and I regret doing and will never do it again.
I don't like texting anything except short messages. I think its highly impersonal and immature to have such a conversation via text, I guess I felt that was my only option since he is never available.
If he is never available, then he is not emotionally available to you. Keep the friendship, but let the romantic notions go. Even if he calls you 'sweetie', just take it to mean nothing and move on.0 -
I would like to change my answer. Kits has a good point here. If you asked if you were dating or just friends and it got uncomfortable, well some things shouldn't be discussed over text. You also don't need to tell him that you had options but that is no excuse for any unkind words he said to you.I think you approached that terribly. Just from the perspective that you gave (which is typically biased in the storytellers favor) it sounded awful. If I was flirting with a guy and he said "Hey, I have other options, I just want to know if you are one too" I'd be fairly displeased myself. It sounds like you were trying to come across as aloof and nonthreatening but instead were being demeaning and blase (the *kitten* is the accented e?... whatever). You basically told him that he wasn't THAT important but he MIGHT get lucky maybe. Whether or not you meant it like that. So honestly it's hard for me to simply say "Wow that guy is a douche" when if anything he was responding to the tone you set for the conversation.
I don't think the problem in this instance was text messaging.
It seems like there have been a lot of posts about seeing multiple people lately. Obviously he'd get bent if he likes you and you're considering going out with some other guy. If you really liked him you should not even consider it.0 -
I've heard enough about this guy...Next him and tell him to lose your number! Never let a man think he is in the driver seat to choose you.0
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If he is never available, then he is not emotionally available to you.
This ^^^. Nothing else really matters, it would not have gone well even in a face to face conversation. As for blowing hot and cold, the guy either wants something casual or has committment issues. Next!
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A sensible post.I think you approached that terribly. Just from the perspective that you gave (which is typically biased in the storytellers favor) it sounded awful. If I was flirting with a guy and he said "Hey, I have other options, I just want to know if you are one too" I'd be fairly displeased myself. It sounds like you were trying to come across as aloof and nonthreatening but instead were being demeaning and blase (the *kitten* is the accented e?... whatever). You basically told him that he wasn't THAT important but he MIGHT get lucky maybe. Whether or not you meant it like that. So honestly it's hard for me to simply say "Wow that guy is a douche" when if anything he was responding to the tone you set for the conversation.
I don't think the problem in this instance was text messaging.
Now, to be honest, I think the main mistake in this whole story was that the guy didn't have enough options himself (from his own admittance) - so he was probably "too invested emotionally" at an non-existent stage of a non-existent relationship, was putting all his eggs in the same basket and lost his temper.
I know personally that (had I had other "better/easier" options), I would definitely have moved on a while ago from all the games and the lukewarm behaviour that you both seem to have.0 -
I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.
I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex! We stopped talking for a while at one time and I met someone and started dating him. When that ended, the "friend" and I were friends again but he expressed that he was bothered by me dating someone else. I have told him that I care about him but have had no response in regard to that. Fast forward....
This "friend" now works out of town and we haven't seen each other in a month or better and have had the occasional "good morning" text etc. Now he is in town to visit his kids and I'm getting all of these texts with hearts and kissy faces. I'm "baby doll" and "sweety" all of a sudden!! I don't get it! Please help me understand..... Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?
Any insight from a guys point of view would be awesome? Thanks
P.S. Please go easy on me. I am still fairly new at this dating "game".
No, this is not true for me. If I feel she is not easily attainable, I don't even try. I'm apt to downplay my interest in this case. Most common reasons for this are that I don't see her enough to get to know her well, or she has a lot of guy friends, or she doesn't seem interested. Also, I'm at the point now where I've learned the secrets (which some guys never learn) about how to behave when you're first getting to know a woman, why some women appear "hotter" than others, etc. The answers to these questions have been quite refreshing and humbling, and I now realize I can't go after a girl just because I like her look. That is simply not a valid reason for being interested in a girl by itself, so I don't obsess over girls because of their look anymore. Unfortunately, most of the girls I like (the nice ones) and who like me and are good matches for me always seem to already have boyfriends. I don't like girls who are truly "badass" and mean. I will flirt if I really like a girl, but I don't play games, and hate it when girls do that to me.
wait! are u real? and are you really a guy? I don't think I've ever heard a guy speak like this.
if you are, whoever you end up with is a lucky girl
Yeah, I'm real. And I thought I was going to get the 5th degree...until I read the part about my future girl being lucky. I'm just going to accept what you said at face-value.0
