totally intimidated and feeling pathetic

tartsul

so, i went to the gym, did my warm up, circled around the weights like an idiot for a few minutes, and then just went home. it was soooooo crowded and i felt really intimidated. i have really been enjoying the workouts thus far and i was pretty excited to go, and i've been making improvements. i don't know why, i just all of a sudden felt like I CAN'T DO IT. i guess i will stick with my 5 AM workouts. i'm more confident when there's only a few people around. ugh. feeling really discouraged.

juliamamann

I had the same experience on Monday. It was my first day, and I walked into the weight room and it was all these men looking at me like I don't belong there. Made me feel awkward.

Don't give up! I decided I"m going to go back there and not let them intimidate me! In the end none of those people will be there to share in our victory or failures, it's up to us. We can do it! We just have to keep going and not care what others think!
I'm sorry you had a bad experience, I hope it gets better!

chuckles9189

I feel you. I was terrified of the gym (and sometimes still am). But I'd rather be terrified AT the gym and feel a little awkward waiting for the squat rack than sitting at home wishing I had done the workout. If you can. get up and go right now.

It took me about 5 months to finally get up the courage to get into the weight room. and I made my friend go with me. But it was 7$ every time she had to go so now I just have to suck it up. Sometimes it sucks. But usually when I'm in there I'm so focused on what I'm doing and thinking about using all my muscles that I am not paying attention to anyone else. In my head it's the same for all of them. Nobody sees me. and I can go home feeling pretty satisfied. Best of luck to you!

lcuconley

the more often you go, the stronger you will get. the stronger you get, the more confident you will be. At my gym, everyone is super nice and helpful...looks can be deceiving!

lodicox7

Don't let those boys intimidate you!! I like to just plug in my ear phones and pretend they aren't there. Honestly, I think it intimidates them more to have a girl walk right up next to them and start lifting. They don't want to have a girl make them look bad!!

It's kind of scary to stand there and lift with the boys, but if you just face the fear and do it, it's really empowering. Definitely a confidence booster. Stick with it!!

tartsul

thank you for the encouragement everyone. i think the main problem yesterday wasn't the boys in the weight area, but rather, the girls that were there! they were very intimidating!!! anyways, this morning, i went and did workout B for the third time, focusing on keeping the right form. i increased my weights slightly and i felt good and confident again. 5 AM just works better for me i guess! thanks again everyone for being kind and encouraging! i love being a part of this group since you all know what i'm going through! hope everyone has a great day!

emibrus1

I get intimidated very easily in the weight room! But I had the pleasant experience of receiving pointers and general posture tips from 3 different guys this past Monday! They weren't critical at all...I'm sure I looked like a deer in headlights when I saw them coming toward me (I'm not sure why I was convinced that a verbal teasing was on it's way).

I just walk in there and keep my head down and headphones on! That way I don't get sidelined by any snide comments...if there even have been any. And if I happen to make eye contact I just muster up a big ole smile xD I get a nervous flutter in my chest every time I step in the weight room but I just tell myself that eventually -and hopefully soon- I'll look like I actually BELONG in there with everyone!

MyOwnSunshine

Geez! You all have active imaginations. I don't think the guys in the weight room have the intention of intimidating anyone. No one enjoys a crowded weight room, but every guy I have ever encountered in the free weight area (except one scrawny a-hole one time) have been courteous, or at least not discourteous.

People in the free weight area are focused on their own workouts and generally keep to themselves and lift heavy things. Sometimes they rest in between lifting heavy things and they gaze off into space while trying to catch their breath and get ready for the next lift. While you shouldn't expect everyone to stop what they're doing and welcome you with a hug, I also doubt that anyone was deliberately trying to intimidate you and get you to leave the weight room.

I know that I am to a point where I know most of the regulars in my weight room. Lifters are not chatty or social, but are generally nice and helpful if need be. I focus on getting the very most out of my workout every time I'm at the gym. The only thing I care about (and I'd guess this is true for the guys, too) is that you not be rude and you not interfere with my workout.

Walk in there and claim your space! If you show up on a regular basis, you will eventually be a regular and feel comfortable.

CanGirl40

I love the 5am workout because it's just not crowded!!! I love having an area all to myself! I think I would absolutely hate going after work - sooo crowded!!!

Beeps2011

I do lunch-time work-outs because the gym is less crowded.

I don't think it's always about "intimidation" - I'm just not that comfy in crowds, and I HATE waiting for equipment!

Go get your work-out in, however you can - it's IMPORTANT!

MyOwnSunshine

I agree, Beeps. I hate it when the weight room is crowded. I go mid-day on my days off to miss the morning and after-work crowds.

rsharper97

My first experience with the free weight section was awesome. I asked one guy where the squat bar was and another helped me by setting up the squat rack for me. It has been my experience the guys are more than willing to help before they even think about passing judgement.

feelgoodnic

I deliberately go at 6.30am so the gym isn't crowded. I simply would not be able to hack the place at 7pm. You can barely get a spot to yourself let alone a bench or a barbell! Last week I was the only person in the weights area for a whole half an hour and it was absolute bliss.

RunnerElizabeth

This is a current source of anxiety for me as well. I haven't done my first workout yet. I'm not done reading through the book yet and don't plan on starting until I do, but I'm already nervous about it.
My gym has a high percentage of homeland security, secret service, other law inforcement types in it. I know in my head they aren't going to care that I've stepped off the treadmill and I'm going to be joining them in the weight corner but I feel like my incompetence is just going to become a burden to them. They are going to try to keep me from hurting myself and it will keep them from doing their own thing. My gym is a little less anonymous than most since it is an office building so people do have a little more interaction with each other than at most of the gyms I've been to in the past.
I was thinking that it might help if I set up an appointment with one of the trainers first to go over all the excercises so that when I walk in the first time I'm not asking the guys which thing is the squat rack.

tartsul

this morning, i successfully completed workout A #4 and i am feeling great. i decided to actually challenge myself more and am up to 85 pounds on squats. it feels so good to FEEL it in my muscles! sooooo much better than just cardio or weight machines! i will definitely be sticking with my early, early, early mornings. doing it only 3x a week isn't nearly as bad as when i used to do 5x a week to get up and go do cardio for an hour. and now i don't feel guilty for not going everyday, because i know the rest days are important!

it's so nice that there's only a handful of guys in the weight area early in the morning and i have a lot more freedom and confidence. and you're all right, people keep to themselves and i'm sure they don't even care what i'm doing! and a friendly smile in passing doesn't hurt either OH and it may just be wishful thinking, but i feel like i'm seeing some slight changes. like, less dimples in my thighs/butt and more tightness in my upper ab area. so i'd say that's an NSV, right? anybody else noticing changes?? :flowerforyou:

acrowder99

Glad you are sticking with it. I have let intimidation run me out of the gym numerous times. Actually as I was reading the OP it sounded exactly what I did a few weeks ago. I went in the gym in the afternoon, looked around and just could not bring myself to start. Walked around for five minutes trying to get up the nerve, then just went and got on the eliptical. I kicked myself all night that night.

I have been going at lunch now, which is better. I think I have it figured out though - I need to remember that no one there is in competition with me so why would they be sizing me up? Women included. The other day there was a woman in there that I was pretty jealous of and was getting that, "I am about to bail" feeling. Just in time for the woman to tell me that she just had surgery on her wrist and she's not sure about the size of the weights she's about to use. She was worried about what I thought! Guess that's kind of an NSV too?

I am seeing changes, but not quite as much as I had hoped. I haven't lost any inches in about a month. I feel great, but I am getting a little down. I'll keep it up though, I know that it will work - it can only work. Maybe not in the time I had prescribed in my head, but soon enough.

I did try to change my diet and stick to the 40-30-30 thing a little tighter and I think that backfired bad (I ended up all over the place and overeating). It was stressing me out to try and make it all work - too much thought and I already have to make too many decisions everyday. I've backed off that & just gone back to calories in & out with the goal of getting at least 1/2 of my body weight in protein. That was working before & we much less stressful for me. One thing at a time.

AlongCame_Molly

I had a similar thing happen today: I'd been wanting to do lunges, but I felt I would look silly lunge-marching up and down the length of the gym in front of everybody over and over. Then I saw another guy doing it, and I thought, well, if he's doing it... So I started down the length of the gym with my lunges, and guess what-- NO ONE WAS STARING. Nobody cared! I finished my sets and I was happy.

The people at my gym (and most gyms, even if they don't look it) are actually super nice and are very willing to offer a spot or a tip if you ask in between sets. Don't assume everyone is staring at or judging you. I mean yeah, you might get one douche every now and then, but I would bet money that for every one person who feels you don't belong there, there are 20 or 30 other people who aren't even paying attention to you. They are busy doing their own thing.