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Hello Crackers - I'm so sorry my last post was so despondent. I can't say that things are better but I'm not feeling quite so panicked. I had a meeting with HR yesterday morning and was reassured firstly that my position wasn't so precarious as it seemed and secondly that my bosses behaviour around a number of people has been brought into questions. Also, HR were concerned that I had been effectively given a probation review when none was expected (in fact my boss had delayed it to mid-April) and that that was very unfair behaviour. Thankfully, my boss was not in yesterday and I'm unlikely to see much of her in the next week.
Unfortunately, as she is leaving in a couple of months time she is unlikely to face any real questions but at least there is an acknowledgement that she is bullying people and I can only hope that I can hang on in there until she leaves. I have also arranged a meeting with my mentor who is the Academic Registrar, next week - she has also been very supportive. The next step is to go through my job description with HR to try to understand where i'm not being allowed to do my job. Its all very strange as I'm not used to finding it so difficult to get the right level in a job. HR told me that one of the things that had been quite difficult about my role was whether it should, in fact, come under the Academic Registrar rather than under the Executive Dean. With my boss leaving and University title coming its quite possible that my role will be moved to another area. So I suppose I feel less frightened and distressed although very sad that my relationship with my boss has imploded so spectacularly. I'm left with a serious sense of distrust of my colleagues though and that's going to be hard to resolve. In the meantime I will start to look to see what I can do in terms of finding another job. Although temping is alright in the short term there are very few such jobs these days and they don't pay well enough to cover my bills in the longer term. Its also difficult to see what new role I should look for that will pay enough. I've taken such a financial hit from this job (it pays half of what I earned before, but is only four days a week) and I really can't afford to cut my cloth any closer. My confidence is in shreds so its difficult to apply for jobs that I would perhaps have thought within my capability before. Plus which I actually like working in the University environment so do wonder about options within the university - especially with a reorganisation on the horizon. Who knows what the future holds but I need to put it aside as I have a busy weekend ahead - mostly with enjoyable things (although I do need to do some serious cleaning tomorrow!).
Thanks for the support and advice LMV. I will, of course, find a way to move forward but I think I just needed to bite the bullet and face reality before I could do so.
take care Crackers
PB xx0 -
Hello Crackers,
PB, so pleased to hear there is positive news from HR. Seems like they know the problem may lie more with your boss than you. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome and exciting new opportunities.
Well Crackers, today is my birthday so I gave myself a special treat, NO 30 day shred!! It is a glorious day here so the husband and I have been for a picnic in the sunshine to a bay you can only get to by walking. We had the bay to ourselves apart from 3 fishermen in the distance and it was glorious. I've already done my 10,000 steps for the day and although I was going to have a piece of cake in the cafe at the end of the walk, when it came to it, I didn't really want it so I just had a cuppa. How times have changed! Tonight we are going out to a bistro with 8 friends and I shall order whatever I fancy without considering the calories.
The husband came up trumps in the present department. Tickets apparently went on sale this morning for a Carole King concert in Hyde Park in the summer where she will perform her album Tapestry n its entirety. Tapestry is one of my most favourite albums and he was on the website first thing and got tickets as a present for me. I was (and still am) so excited when he gave them to me. Well done him!
Right, I am now going to beautify myself and get my gladrags on. I'm ready to party!
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LMV, by the time you read this my wishes will be belated for your birthday but still as strong. Your celebrations sound really lovely. Unlike Alice in Wonderland who wonders why it is never jam today but always tomorrow you have had both jam today and jam to look forward to in the summer. And well done incorporating your steps into your day too.
PB, as I read your news it seems really quite good. It sounds as if HR have been positive towards you and there can be a resolution to your job description issue and that you may be able to go forward with the job should you choose. Here in Canada just today there was a major story about rent losses of many full-time jobs so the job market seems precarious in many places in the Western world. Would it be possible for you to seek a part-time job for time when you are not at the current job rather than completely starting over? There is no doubt that feeling insecure about one's job or unhappy with it is a major life stressor. I hope everything settles down for you soon.
I've been interrupted by the phone so must cut this short as I want to log my exercise for today.
Regards.
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A belated Happy Birthday LMV. YOur day sound idyllic and I hope you had a really lovely birthday dinner with good friends around you and NO GUILT!!!! I am so jealous of your walking as it still seems a long way away for me, but I have my trip to York to look forward to and I will have plenty of opportunity for walking there!
take care Crackers
PB xx0 -
Thanks for the good wishes Crackers.
Here's a picture of the bay we walked to yesterday.
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A belated happy birthday from me too! I have just returned from Winchester absolutely shattered but in a good way & I'm having a lovely cup of tea & catching up on the posts. Whilst we were away I just got the daughter to log me in daily on her phone so as not to lose my logging in days very sad state of affairs! However tomorrow I intend to use her laptop to post fully.0
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I am not sure what is going on but my exercise posts for yesterday was not there today. I just posted the exercise steps for today (7028) and it went up and then disappeared. I had also posted that I hoped you enjoyed your no shred day, LMV. Hope this does not disappear.0
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Evening Crackers!
I found myself educating the daughter on the subject of common sense last week - one stressed out daughter; she had been invited at college to an informal little social gathering to be awarded a Principal's commendation (for working above the standard) all well and good but had felt obliged and under pressure, to also accept the hot chocolate and delicious donut alongside the certificate and mug! However the size 10 daughter to compensate for the extra calories, ate one less of her lunch sandwiches. Following day her friend brought in some homemade, freshly baked, tomato bread for her to try. Once again she didn't wish to appear rude and hurt his feelings and fortunately it was very good so again she left one of her sandwiches. This weekend it was Peace Jam, a student conference held annually at Winchester university and my daughter was a mentor helping to run it not just attending. Student food would be on offer croissants and chips etc. comfort food. Is it a wonder the world is becoming obese?! However the daughter was already in her head piling on the pounds and out of control - she'd be fat again by the summer she wailed. Don't be so silly I crossly replied, sometimes you have to go with the flow and indulge a little, not be so strict. If you just get back to eating as you normally do, in a few days time the scales will be back at your normal weight I'm sure - regardless of a few treats.
Lecture over daughter reassured. I then sat back and thought so why am I not following my own advise?! After my weigh in last week (and my surprising 1 pound loss) my parents left for their holiday and I sank into what I can only describe as a grey fog which I was then stuck in (just like the grey weather) and when I'm down, really down - I eat. My father left 6 hot cross buns... (sadly LMV I read your comment too late!) and then I came across a packet of liquorice alsorts which you don't get in Austria and I love those too... I ate the lot over the next 2 days. Then I too started thinking of my weekend ahead in Winchester and food... And I was thinking along the lines, well I've blown it now, this will end up just like last year and I'll return to Austria 1/2 a stone heavier.... Like Mother, like daughter!!! But after my no nonsense conversation with the daughter, it was like throwing a bucket of cold water over my own head! If I'm sensible the 2 days before I go to Winchester (and I was) don't go mad whilst away (I didn't) and then I'm sensible again on my return (I am) I too will hopefully be the same weight again next week! A little common sense can go a long way....
Be good Crackers!
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Hi MITM - I see you dilemma - although I must admit my first thought was - oh - does she really need to leave out a sandwich for the sake of a little treat? Don't worry about the hot cross buns - I've been known to eat an entire pack of 6 (buttered) in one go so I know the compunction. This morning I braved the scales and found that I had gone back to where I was just after the cast came off. Being so stressed has put me off eating quite a lot (although I am eating something - just not much). I'm seeing HR today to go through my JD and then the Academic Registrar so hopefully, I can pull this round. I spent all day crunching numbers which left me feeling rather shattered so I missed Uni Choir in order to go to my main choir. To my surprise and delight at the end of the rehearsal I hit several top b flats - without much extra effort. The woman in front of me put her hand to her ear but I don't care (she's always doing this its rather offensive but I just try to ignore her - it was meant to be a loud note).
My friends daughter, with whom I am going to York in a couple of weeks has just entered a competition and won the role of Chief Prosecutor in a trial in which they will be looking at a real life case with a magistrate. She is, naturally, delighted as she intends to be Prime Minister one day (she always dreamed big even as a toddler, spending an entire evening writing to the Queen when she was 2!). She is 13 (14 in May) and last year was chief defence lawyer for Lady MacBeth - she won! I am so looking forward to my trip with her although I suspect she will take the organisers of exhibitions etc to task if they lack authenticity. At Christmas she wrote to an Oxford Professor to castigate him for his poor geography (he described Butley Priory as being near Bury St Edmunds - its about 50 miles away) and for his attitude towards women in the Tudor period in his book. I am saddened that he hasn't written back as children with this much gumption should be encouraged - even if they are a little clumsy in their approach. She is absolutely an authority on the Tudors and has been correcting her teacher at school since she started seniors! Its never dull with Zoe!
Well, I must go now and get dressed and ready to go to work (i'm already a bit late but started early yesterday and had a late night for choir so don't mind being a bit later, but the car park gets tricky if I'm too late arriving).
Take care Crackers
PB xx
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Hello Crackers,
We all need a dose of common sense every now and again MITM, so thanks for the reminder. Since Friday, there has been birthday cake, champagne and yes, cheese (rather a lot of them all!). It's now time for me to realise that I am not the birthday princess any more, apply some common sense, and get back on track. I have been so good since Christmas and lost 25lbs. If I've put a couple back on it really doesn't matter in the long term scheme of things as long as I get back on track again now. So, let's all be sensible and realise we've all been out of routine and put any little gains into perspective and stop them becoming big gains. Thank you MITM.
PB - I hope your meeting with HR and the Academic Registrar went well today and that you get some positive news. I am in awe of your top b flats - as an alto (more of a bass!) I was thrilled to hit a d at choir practice last night! I'm much happier down around middle c! Singing is a great release though isn't it? My mood always feels better after choir practice. Your friend's daughter sounds just a little bit scary to me, good luck for your trip to York with her!
Bracken, your disappearing posts sound very mysterious, but pleaed to see that you have kept up with your exercise and are putting the rest of us crackers to shame. I am inspired to get some more steps in and shall go for a walk once I have finished this post.
Last Thursday our local WI had a talk from someone who is a fashion stylist and she runs a company doing pop up shops and giving talks helping women with their body shapes and how to dress in a way that flatters. I was distraught to discover that I am apparently a rectangle. I'm in complete denial about it as I had always thought I was an hourglass.......my hips and shoulders are in balance, but apparently so is my waist!!! It isn't defined enough and is too high to be an hourglass apparently. HELP!. So apart from me frantically thinking about waist exercises, I have asked her to come and do a one-on-one session with me. She will go through my wardrobe, sort out what is good for my shape and what isn't and also bring with her some clothes which are good for rectangles for me to try. Feeling slightly apprehensive about letting someone loose on my wardrobe, but I guess she's seen it all before! She told one story of leaving a woman with just two shirts - yikes! So, no more clothes shopping for me until after that session.
Off to Cardiff to meet a friend tomorrow. She lives in Bristol so Cardiff is a good halfway house to meet. If it's Cardiff, it's John Lewis, but as there's no clothes shopping I shall hang around the cookery department instead!
Right, I'm off for that walk. Will post my steps later
Be good all and apply that common sense MITM reminded us of. Thanks again MITM
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Evening Crackers!
PB - hope your meeting was successful?
LMV - so pleased to have been of help! But if one can't indulge on your birthday weekend, when can you? What did you wear out to dinner? Did you decide against buying a new dress? How far off are you now from fitting into your Cracker dress, you must be close? Well I think I might be a rectangle as I'm straight up and down. Could be worse LMV you could be a circle/apple!! Very brave of you inviting the stylist to sort your wardrobe - it would take her all of 2 minutes to sort mine! A day I guess or maybe a week for BM!!!
BM - Are you still in the UK or have you headed back to Singapore? Any excess luggage?!
Bracken - Austria has more snow forecasted for tomorrow - don't have a winter all winter, then come almost spring, winter arrives.... Still the good news this means the daughter does get the chance to cross country ski this Easter.
Well Crackers I had a delightful weekend in Winchester. The weather was wonderful and we stayed in a charming, victorian guesthouse as close to the university for the daughter as possible, as she had to start at 7am. We had a quaint, the size of a dolls house bedroom in the eves of the 4 storey building but it had an ensuite and it was adequate for our needs. I spend one morning walking the meadows alongside Winchester college and the river. An afternoon browsing alone all the card shops which I know well, stocking up for the next 6 months. And then on the Sunday I decided to shop for jeans. That pair I bought didn't make it to the suitcase as they were still way too tight... So as this could be my 'new' natural weight, I thought I would try on every pair of jeans in the whole of Winchester until I found the perfect pair to fit me now, as my current pair are too old, baggy and scruffy and I don't do scruffy in public! I've never tried on so many jeans in my life!! All styles, all sizes - they just had to be dark denim, fit and look good. Could it be that difficult?! First I went to FatFace, never tried on a pair of jeans before from there but was inspired by BM. I found what could be the perfect pair in fit but the colour wasn't right and with all the navy in my wardrobe it had to be the right shade of blue. M&S, Next.... no joy. Finally ended the afternoon in Debenhams and worked my way through every designer in the shop! I took 5 pairs into the changing room each time and got it down to one, then collected another 5 and repeated until I had worked the complete women's floor! I spent over 2 hours in the changing rooms! But I came away with the perfect pair of jeans for me that fit, right colour and I liked my reflection in those horrible mirrors! They are skinny and are from Wallis not a section I would have considered before - exhausting work but rewarding!
Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend too and in John Lewis but the Southampton branch! LMV do you still have any relations in New Milton or was the connection from your FIL?
Right be good Crackers!0 -
Good work on the jeans front MITM. That must have accrued an enormous number of steps.
The only connection I have with New Milton is that when we were working and could afford it, we used to stay in Chewton Glen from time to time. Luxury! My best friend from school days lives in Bransgore and my MiL and step-FiL live in Southbourne so we visit the south coast reasonably regularly. We will have to coordinate a south coast visit and have a shop-fest.
I fear it won't take the stylist long to sort through my wardrobe either and I fully intend to do a bit of editing before she comes! I didn't get around to buying a new dress but I think you might approve of my choice for my birthday as I was head to toe in navy and wore a halter neck dress which the husband likes. I'll be brave and post a picture, although, beware as it was taken at the end of the evening rather than the beginning. I haven't tried my cracker dress on for a while but you are right, it must be reasonably close although I'm still a way off my lowest weight and I was fully shredded so a lot trimmer when I bought it.
I for one am glad of the snow in the French Alps as I shall be skiing next week, but I hope it steers clear of the Dolomites for you MITM. When are you going home?
Be good Crackers
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Ps looking at that picture, I am SO a rectangle lol xx0
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Hello Crackers. MITM, I enjoyed reading your advice on common sense which it has been said before is sometimes not so common. PB, good for you braving the scales even though you are not yet able to get put the focus onto your diet as the primary goal. The fact your weight is at the post cast level shows at least you are not eating really wildly and gaining which is so easily done. Your young friend sounds like an interesting child; it is quite something today for a young person to spend time with an older person. One of my nieces is 15 and an avid reader who also enjoys the British dramas her mother and I like (Coronation Street, Heartbeat, and even docs like Edwardian farm) It is really delightful to have a youngster like this to share her perspective. LMV, I hope you enjoy your appointment with the stylist. Although I am not someone who is avid about fashion I really believe one can feel better when dressed the best possible for one's body. I absolutely think being aware of one's colours is helpful and have always been glad when I had mine done through a group at school years ago. Last week I was in an excellent charity bookstore in London when I came upon a book called, "How Not to Look Old." I did not buy it but looked all through it and sort of wish I had ( very cheap!). It covered everything from lipstick shades, numbers of pieces of jewellery to wear, most flattering skirt lengths and styles etc. Some of it seemed like common sense but there were some good ideas I was not aware of too. It had excellent pictures, some featuring celebrities who had made some of the style mistakes too.
This afternoon my sister-in-law and I went to see "The Lady in the Van" with Maggie Smith. It is an excellent movie and her performance to me is Oscar worthy. Has anyone else seen it or is familiar with it?
I'm still busy with sorting out the insurance claim and need to do some more legwork on that so off for now. Regards.
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I am now in bed but just had to try on my cracker dress before turning in. I can get into it and it looks fine although it has probably stretched a little bit with wear and is maybe a little tight over the tummy. Nothing Jillian couldn't sort out.
I suspect our posts crossed Bracken. The book sounds really interesting and it is amazing how many practical tips these stylists have. Trinny and Suzanna used to have a show called "What not to Wear" where they transformed people - hair, make-up and clothes. It is amazing what you can do. I saw The Lady and the Van back in December (I think) when it came out over here. I thought it was a really moving film and actually a lot more serious than I thought it was going to be. I thoroughly enjoyed it and Dame Maggie was excellent. I don't think I've seen a bad piece of work from her though. Have you seen the Exotic Marigold Hotel films? She is brilliant in those too.
Right I must go to sleep or I will miss my train tomorrow morning
Night all
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Ahhhhh.......my post disappeared0
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When I weighed in yesterday I had put on 1lb. Not too bad really, but still my first gain in 2016.
Did I say something to scare everyone off? Or is it my picture? Perhaps I should remove it.
All washing and ironing done for my holiday and everything folded ready to put in the suitcase tomorrow. Probably the most organised I have ever been for a holiday.
Back on track today.
Be good Crackers
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LMV your picture is beautiful - just been a bit shattered this week after work as I've been working my way through a lot of data and coming home not wanting to do more than look quickly at my laptop. Also I was sort of waiting for your post to reappear! I updated my weight and now have to lose a further 3.5lbs to get back to where I was before Christmas. I have another meeting with my boss on Tuesday but am not in the office on Monday as I have to go and have a bone density scan (as a result of the break - to see if I'm at risk of osteoporosis) and then straight on to a funeral near Ely (just over an hours drive away at 1.00pm) for my GOddaughter's Grandma. she sadly had dementia for some years before she died but was a merry little woman when the girls were little and it broke her heart when my Goddaughters parents split up. I wanted to pay my respects though so I've agreed to take the day off and make it up in a couple of Friday's time.
I haven't really seen much of my boss since Monday morning as she was out of the office most of the time and on leave from Wed so the first time I see her will be on Tuesday at our 1to1 which I must admit i'm really not looking forward to but has to be done. So I need to enjoy my weekend and think about nice things! HR have been very helpful and supportive but in the end they won't be in the meeting with me and if she goes off on one I will be unprotected. I've started keeping notes.....
Well I must go now as I ought to get moving on my day.
take care crackers - and chin up Bracken, the insurance company will be slow but hopefully it will all be sorted out soon.
PB xx0 -
Morning Crackers!
Well I've registered my weight gain as I want to draw the line - the daughter remained the same weight on our return from Winchester whilst I was 2 pounds heavier (and still am!) So minus a sandwich or 2 equals stay the same PB, indulge and turn a blind eye like me, means back to the drawing board!!
Yesterday I met an old friend and I ate a cake which I didn't want and didn't enjoy because she made me feel so bad making her eat cake alone but it was horrible! Talk about Mother like daughter patterns... However I only see this friend on my trips home so it's not an issue like meeting up weekly but I almost choked on the cake, as she moaned about really having to lose some weight... I think I've mentioned before how she has coffee and cake on an almost daily basis...
LMV - I too was awaiting for your post to reappear! A one pound GAIN (I've typed that 3 times and it has changed to capitals each time!!) I think is very acceptable. You look lovely and I have to say that champagne birthday card is so very you!! Enjoy your skiing trip don't come back with any broken bones.
Bracken - I have just ordered a book called Feel Fab at 50! I feel I need some advice so I don't lose my way! I'm finding it hard to find clothes I want to buy... I'm very stuck in my ways I fear!
PB - try and enjoy your weekend, glad you've stepped on the scales that is the first step.
Right I'm now going to walk to the local shops to get the groceries. Anyone see Jo Brand doing her Sport Relief walk last night? She inspired me to donate after seeing her suffering and to get out and walk!
Be good Crackers!0 -
I've been absent for a couple a few days of posting so I'll probably need a couple of posts to catch up and I also don't want to write too much at once with some issue of disappearing posts lately. I'll begin by saying LMV, that your picture did not scare me off and I had intended to comment on my previous post. I think you look very lovely too in that dress. If that is a rectangle shape, I could be quite happy to be a rectangle (I've not heard that used as a term before but it got me imagining what it would be like to be a square, as wide as high, or a triangle with little upper body, then widening to a large hip!) It all looks quite trim to me. I also enjoyed the picture of your secluded bay walk. With all your celebrations, the pound gain is really not significant. I missed the Marigold Hotel movies but am aware that they were highly regarded. Now that there are no DVD rental stores left and as I don't subscribe to Netflix, I'll have to hope my library has a copy or that it turns up on regular television.
PB, you have done well to be within 3.5 pounds of your Christmas weight. I hope you are enjoying the weekend with your busy week ahead.
MITM, it must have been very satisfying to find some jeans that you are really pleased with even if you had to try on so many pairs. Jeans really are notorious for trying to find a good fit. You too have done very well with only a small gain and of course, you really can't be compared to your daughter as her metabolism is at the best it will ever be. I do agree it is frustrating to feel one is eating just to be sociable at a time when you are motivated to be trying to trim up a bit; it is especially frustrating if the food is not something you enjoy too. I'll look forward to hearing about your Feel Fab book.
BM, not sure where your itinerary would put you at the moment but hope you are doing OK.
I really enjoyed spending time with my niece earlier in the week. As I mentioned, she is an avid reader and was quite happy to spend time at the bookstore. She picked out three books she wanted to buy but was going to only take two. I offered to buy the third for her (Aldous Huxley's Brave New World); she was very appreciative. We went to lunch and I encouraged her to have whatever she liked but as on other times, she picked a moderate priced meal from the menu. She also declined dessert. She is not fanatic but quite disciplined about her eating. At her age, I know I would not have turned down the offer for a decadent dessert. She is quite health conscious, as is her mother, and has been taking an interest in healthy cooking. She told me she had made a mousaka ( I think I have misspelled that but I mean an eggplant dish) for the family dinner.
I can say that I have, for better or worse, and after some haggling settled my insurance claim on my vehicle. Several people I spoke to thought I did quite well with the settlement but one is never really sure. I still have not bought a new vehicle and it looks as if I am going to have to order one (with an eight week wait) since there are none on the lots, which sounds both strange and as if I am extraordinarily fussy. However, it is basically because I want a quite basic version of the vehicle and most on the lots are all decked out with so many options and consequently so much more expensive. I do not need to have GPS in my vehicle or to have cell phone reception or internet connections or satellite radio - I'm not even sure what some of the functions are!
Must off for now. Regards.0
