I think you will surprised at all of the positive that you will receive. I told everyone at work and now they walk with me, check up on me, and ask me what I am eating. They are all so supportive. I haven't heard a negative thing! Its really great to know that I have that support all day..not just at home.

I believe you should tell those people that you are close to.. whoever you feel comfortable telling. There isn't a rush on that. Its not wrong to wait until you feel comfortable but It is kind of obvious that I am doing more than just working out.. I mean the change is so drastic! Its so obvious!

Take your time dear and don't feel like you are wrong for doing what your instinct tells you to do! xox

I struggle with this issue. I often feel guilty and like I cheated. It often feels like the accomplishment isn't really mine. I really don't like the compliments because of this inner struggle.

On the other side of my brain, I know I've increased the odds of me keeping my weight off from 5% to 65%. I know without the surgery, I'd never gotten the weight off or kept it off for any amount of time. Without it, I'd never been able to run on a regular basis as I do now.

I wish I hadn't told everyone. I think once they hear I had surgery, they stop trying to work whatever weight loss program they are on. If they thought I was doing without this tool, they'd work harder on their own weight loss.

This is a tough one. I didn't tell anyone but my husband, initially, that I was planning surgery because I felt like a failure, like I should have been able to do this on my own. Once I relayed this fear to two of my closest friends (who have never been heavy a day in their lives) they both said the same thing to me, that I was brave. Wow, I had never been called that before. I don't tell people lightly, I tell them with background information. I tell them that I have thought about this for 3 years while still trying to lose weight; that I prayed about it for the past year, and that this is a tool that I am using to reach my goal.

Guess what? When I started to tell some of my family, they called me brave too. I have been overwhelmed by the support. And through all of this, I've said that just like two people that I know who had surgery 3 years ago inspired me to start thinking about it as an option, I hope to pay it forward and inspire some others.

When you tell people, you put yourself out there in a vunerable way. They may say it was the easy way out, I asked that question to my friend and she told me there was nothing easy about it and how she has to (3 years later) workout and track her food everyday.

BUT... you might just be inspiring someone else. It happened for me just this week. I was picking up my dog at the groomers yesterday and Kelly, the groomer, went to hand me the dog. I told her I just had surgery and couldn't pick the dog up. She didn't ask, but said, "I hope you are okay." There is was.... for a fleeting moment I thought 'tell her you had a hernia fixed' (which I did while he was in there). But Kelly is a big girl and I knew she would appreciate the struggle, so I said, "I had weight loss surgery." She proceeded to ask me all kinds of questions, one of which was who was my doctor.

Kelly called me today to tell me that she made an appointment for an informational session and also to see the surgeon. I thought, there you go... I paid it forward to one.

The bottom line is, you need to know your audience. It if is someone who really doesn't have a vested interest in you, or is going to give a snarky remark, then probably better to keep it to yourself. If it is a fellow member of the overweight club, I say, throw it out there. You might just be inspiring them to use the WLS tool also, and you might just be saving their life.

:drinker: The only ones that know is hubby and and my 3 kids!

no one elses buisness to be honest and then you dont have to be judged! totally up to you honey x

I don't think its wrong not to tell anyone. It is your business and yours alone. I have been very open about it from the beginning, but that's just me. I work with several women that have had it done so I am not the first. Besides, I thought it would be pretty obvious that I took a 3 week medical leave and then came back dropping weight quickly. My opinion is that more people need to be educated that this is not the "easy way out". I have received nothing but positive feedback, even from those that initially thought that it was the easy way to lose weight. I had someone tell me the other day that they have actually learned a lot from me just by observing how I now live a healthier lifestyle. She said she was impressed that she always saw me eating something healthy and in good portion sizes. She was also impressed that I work out at least 4 days a week at the gym and also at home. She had changed her idea of WLS being a lazy way to lose weight. So, for me, if I can be an example and maybe even inspire someone watching that had considered surgery but was afraid to do it, then I am able to "pay it forward" from the ones that inspired me.

and if everyone had kept it a secret about the surgery none of us would know about it today and we would not have had the choice to do it.

I have a VERY supportive work enviroment. That being said, everyone knows I had the lapband surgery. But, if I didn't work with such supportive people I would not have been so forthcoming. I also took the time to educate the people I work with. They know that there is NOTHING EASY about the route I took. They also are aware that I can cheat and how and they help to keep me in check. I count my blessings everyday that I work where I do with the people I do. I could not do this without them.

Good luck and do what works for you.

I tell everyone. Heck, I'd shout it from the rooftops. It saved my life and can save so many more. But if you choose not to tell I respect you for that. We all have our own path. But if you don't think people will figure it out, they just might. We bypassers and DSers lose it quickly. We sometimes lose it unevenly (looking lumpy bumpy until we can get plastics) and we sometimes get a gaunt bug-eyed look untl the loss settles (around year 2-3). I can pretty much spot people from a distance and just know they have had it.

I'm almost 4 years out, at goal, and have had tons of plastics. I can pretty much "pass" for someone who has always being thin. I don't "have" to tell anyone, but a lot of tmes I do. I want to educate people. I want more people to stop beating themselves up and consider surgery.

It's your own business who you tell. I've told everyone. If they're not supportive, they're going to get a piece of my mind and they can GTFO.

I try not to say...It's no one's business anyhow. Plus, it was and has been and always will be the toughest thing to do deal with in my life. I get so annoyed when ignorant people say things like "you took the easy way out". For that reason alone I try not to say anything. I stopped using my card the first time I tried using it to get a kids meal. The waiter made a HUGE deal about it with the manager and they let me have the kids portion but charged me the adults price. I had management at my table and two waiters trying to come to a decision on my meal. Attracted way too much attention. So stupid....I don't eat out often anyhow and if I do I usually don't eat I pick at my kids left overs if there's any protein left. Anyhow, Me personally I just don't like to advertise it.

Many people are opting for the kid meals becasue the kid meals are the normal amount anybody should eat anyways so not sure why you had a problem with that. but I order kids size because of the size alone and was doing it before I had WLS. I got the idea from one of my skinny friends who always did this for years. She would order a kids frosty from Wendy's, and McDonald's happy meals for herself. and I thought wow and tried it and it was enough food for me along with an additional fruit or something. That is what she did so I follow her example and that is one of the ways she told me she keeps her weight in check.

I haven't told many people also

It's difficult to tell people about WLS because there are a lot of different opinions out there, and some people just don't get it. I thought my family would be supportive until the day I was sitting at my kitchen table surrounded by my mom, sister and brother and they were telling me that they thought it was a terrible idea. My mom was convinced I'd die on the operating table (even though I endured 2 C-Sections prior - I mean c'mon, that's pretty major surgery too). My brother and sister thought it was crazy to modify my own body just to lose weight, and they assured me that lots of people have problems with weight and everyone has to work at it.

I went forward and got the surgery anyway

I'm glad I had the surgery, and I'm sure people can tell that I've had it, but I don't tell people about it unless they really push me to tell them. My co-workers all figured it out, and I think people I don't even know in my small town know about it too. It seems all of my extended family has heard about it (not from me, in most cases). I guess you don't have to tell people about your WLS but sometimes it ends up getting out regardless...

Hey there,
You should do whatever you are comfortable with. Just remember that there is nothing about having WLS to be ashamed of. I do understand being careful whom you choose to share this with. Some people do not understand that WLS is not taking the easy way out in the least. But most people are supportive. Either way, you need to what feels right to you.
Take care and God bless,
Doni

I don't think it's wrong. I personally haven't told many. Not even some of my close friends. I'm embarrassed & ashamed that I had to go to such drastic measures to limit my food intake. I'm sure some figured it out since I too went out on medical leave for several weeks and came back slimmer. (202 lbs total when done) The problem with not telling my coworkers was that when they asked me about it I told them I was eating less, exercising and that was all true but I felt bad for holding back and the old philosophy of "when you tell one lie you have to tell more to cover." Not really a lie just evasive:) I just didn't want the negative feedback but I realize now (14 yrs post op) I was also limiting myself to some possible support.

Whatever you decide is your business. I'm now going through the same difficult decision in choosing who to and not to tell regarding PS on the skin removal now. I feel dishonest in not telling some but also wish I had to balls to not give a **** to others. It's nobody's biz unless they want to help fork over some $$$ to cover it:) Good luck with your decision!