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Hot for Neighbor.
MikeM53082
Posts: 1,199 Member
OK, so the house next door, which was vacant for months, has finally been rented out and I have a new neighbor. I noticed the moving trucks two weeks ago and a few days later, I saw a pretty gal outside the house. Naturally, I spot her and walk over to introduce myself. Long story short, she just moved to south Florida from Virginia, divorced, mid 40's, 2 kids, and really, really cute (perfect, right?!). We talked for a good half and hour and I kept it casual and talked about the area, job, and very general stuff. I felt that we were somewhat flirty back and forth (more so, me flirting with her).
Question, should I just man up and ask her to go out for dinner next time I see her, which will probably be this weekend at some point. My only fear is that if she isn't into me and says no, she might feel really uncomfortable in her brand new home. I would hate to make her feel uncomfortable as she's new to the neighborhood and area in general.
I guess this is along the same lines as "should i date a coworker". I know I will see her at least once a week, so I'm risking a lot of awkwardness here.
What would you do?
Question, should I just man up and ask her to go out for dinner next time I see her, which will probably be this weekend at some point. My only fear is that if she isn't into me and says no, she might feel really uncomfortable in her brand new home. I would hate to make her feel uncomfortable as she's new to the neighborhood and area in general.
I guess this is along the same lines as "should i date a coworker". I know I will see her at least once a week, so I'm risking a lot of awkwardness here.
What would you do?
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Replies
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How awesomely convenient! I would give it a few days let her get settled in shes probably got alot on her plate riht now. but i would def come up with a plan to bump into her again say ur looking for a piece of mail and wondered if she got it excuse....then politely ask her out. if she says no then gracefully bow down and let her know if she needs anything she can always call u. then try your hardest not to loiter around and lay low because if she picks up any vibe of "this guy is gonna creep me" then yes ull have made her uncomfortable....but if shes an intelligent woman shell get over it.
good luck man!0 -
Here is what I would do. I would keep talking to her and see if you have a good vibe with her. Then sometime soonish if she's out in her yard, start making a fire and walk over or catch her in her backyard and say, "wanna hop the fence and have a beer?" If she does, then I would give you the go ahead vibe, but if she says, "oh, that's nice but I'm just going to keep doing my yardwork," then you have your answer.
If you want a short answer: wait a while, see what the vibe is, then ask out. But don't ask her out this week, you know?0 -
You have introduced elements here that need explanation,why will you be seeing her once a week as a rule and what would make it awkward?
Aside from that I would suggest getting to know her interests more and maybe looking to do something in conjunction with those.0 -
Keep going with her. See if she flirts back. If you get some good buying signals with her, go for it.0
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How about saying you know of a great restaurant that you haven't tried, would she like to check it out with you? Or use the guise of "I know some great restaurants here, let me show you around to my favorite."0
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Question, should I just man up and ask her to go out for dinner next time I see her, which will probably be this weekend at some point. My only fear is that if she isn't into me and says no, she might feel really uncomfortable in her brand new home. I would hate to make her feel uncomfortable as she's new to the neighborhood and area in general.
What would you do?
i will just give a real life example.
last year i moved into a new apartment. there were 2 guys in the building. both of them liked me.
one i met briefly and the second time i saw him he asked me out....AWKWARD
the second, i kept bumping into, he helped me move some things in. we talked here and there, flirted too and we ended up hanging out a couple times but nothing came of it. but we're still cool.
dont be the first guy who asks her out the next time u see her....wait to interact with her some more and let her get more comfortable with u.0 -
If you want a short answer: wait a while, see what the vibe is, then ask out. But don't ask her out this week, you know?
^^ THIS!0 -
If you want a short answer: wait a while, see what the vibe is, then ask out. But don't ask her out this week, you know?
^^ THIS!
^^Agreed0 -
Here is what I would do. I would keep talking to her and see if you have a good vibe with her. Then sometime soonish if she's out in her yard, start making a fire and walk over or catch her in her backyard and say, "wanna hop the fence and have a beer?" If she does, then I would give you the go ahead vibe, but if she says, "oh, that's nice but I'm just going to keep doing my yardwork," then you have your answer.
If you want a short answer: wait a while, see what the vibe is, then ask out. But don't ask her out this week, you know?
Agree with this, wait at least a week, and until you've had a few causal interactions. However, if you do try to get her to come over for a drink or something, and she declines, don't necessarily assume failure-depending on how old her kids are and how comfortable she feels leaving them for a little bit.
Also: am jealous. I want a hot neighbor! I'm on the most diverse block on the planet- babies to 80 yr olds, an M.D. next door and a housing authority house across the street, but there are no single straight males. Except a teenager who sits on the grass all the time and plays terrible acoustic guitar.0 -
I think you should take her pic and post it here. And ask her where she's from in Virginia.
Good luck.
--P0 -
I agree with everyone to wait, casually bump into eachother and take clues from there.0
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I'd wait, have a few more run-ins with her then ask her to dinner. If she's got kids and she just moved and more than likely started a new job, she's probably so busy.
I know how it's like. I'm the one dating the co-worker...but it's wonderful (especially since it's in secret and no one knows!).0 -
Thanks for all the good advice. I think the best approach is to wait until I bump into her a few more times before I make my move. Since she's always outside, I'm sure I'll see her this weekend. I guess it all depends how the conversation goes, if she's talkative and seems interested, I just might go for it right there. The feeling just has to be right.
It would certainly be convenient though!0 -
Thanks for all the good advice. I think the best approach is to wait until I bump into her a few more times before I make my move. Since she's always outside, I'm sure I'll see her this weekend. I guess it all depends how the conversation goes, if she's talkative and seems interested, I just might go for it right there. The feeling just has to be right.
It would certainly be convenient though!
good luck!0 -
I guess I'm the only one that thinks you should go for it next time. Why wait? What if someone else picks her up first? Lol..
Just ask something casual, like hey when you get some free time, let me show you around town, or something like that.
I'm impatient though.0 -
I guess I'm the only one that thinks you should go for it next time. Why wait? What if someone else picks her up first? Lol..
EXACTLY!
For some reason, I always think girls are only going to be single for a short time before they meet someone. This has certainly went through my head this past week. What if she meets some other guy this week? Girls like this tend not to stay single for long..0 -
I guess I'm the only one that thinks you should go for it next time. Why wait? What if someone else picks her up first? Lol..
EXACTLY!
For some reason, I always think girls are only going to be single for a short time before they meet someone. This has certainly went through my head this past week. What if she meets some other guy this week? Girls like this tend not to stay single for long..
There tends to be 2 types of girls, those that jump from one relationship to the next or the ones that go a long time between relationships. When I say wait I don't mean wait a month but more like a week - week and a half, let her get settled in to the new house. Also it is about a month in to a new move that people that moved to new places are itching to go out.0 -
Here's a thought...I don't know if you are handy with tools and things, but as a single mom in my 40s with two kids, I am not. Maybe the next time you can engineer a run in and have a chat, ask her how the move in is going and maybe see if there is an opportunity to offer to help her with anything...hanging pictures, blinds...you know, manly tool stuff. I know I'd be grateful and impressed.0
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I guess I'm the only one that thinks you should go for it next time. Why wait? What if someone else picks her up first? Lol..
Just ask something casual, like hey when you get some free time, let me show you around town, or something like that.
I'm impatient though.
Nope, I agree and think he should go for it next time.0 -
I guess I'm the only one that thinks you should go for it next time. Why wait? What if someone else picks her up first? Lol..
EXACTLY!
For some reason, I always think girls are only going to be single for a short time before they meet someone. This has certainly went through my head this past week. What if she meets some other guy this week? Girls like this tend not to stay single for long..
I say befriend her and see where her head is at. Asking her if she'd wanna come over for a beer or something hanging out on the porch/patio would be cool.0 -
I have a different take on this. I had a friend who started dating the guy that lived across the street from her. Long story short, the relationship turned into hellfire and because of the rotten housing market, both of them still live there and it is very uncomfortable for her. She wishes it had never happened. I liken it to dating someone that sits next to you at work. Not to sound negative, but if it goes south, you are pretty much stuck there for an indefinite amount of time. Not every situation is like hers, obviously, and of course two adults can act like two adults and not have drama about it. But since you just met her, you know little about her, including how she would handle a potential break-up. Just food for thought (and I guess I'm playing devil's advocate here).0
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Long story short, the relationship turned into hellfire and because of the rotten housing market, both of them still live there and it is very uncomfortable for her. She wishes it had never happened.
Good point. Can you imagine a terrible break-up, then trying to date someone else? You bring the new gf back to your house, the neighbor goes ballistic, starts screaming outside of your window, throwing beer bottles at your door, etc., etc. She's monitoring anyone and everyone that comes to your house 24/7. Sending her kids over when you're with the new gf to ask why you dumped their mom, etc. Outdoor barbecues would definitely be a no go.
Oh well, probably won't come to that. Probably.
Good luck!
--P0 -
Speaking as a single mom of 2 kids... I would much rather someone show their interest in me by getting to know me casually and building a friendship. It's a turn-off when a man asks me out as a way to "mark his territory".
Time is on your side here... get to know her, do nice neighborly things for her. If you rush into the physical side of things, it's sure to turn sour quickly. Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
Here's a thought...I don't know if you are handy with tools and things, but as a single mom in my 40s with two kids, I am not. Maybe the next time you can engineer a run in and have a chat, ask her how the move in is going and maybe see if there is an opportunity to offer to help her with anything...hanging pictures, blinds...you know, manly tool stuff. I know I'd be grateful and impressed.
^^^ THIS. good way to itneract with her under no pressure
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Seems to be a variety of opinions on this subject! Interesting.
When it all boils down to it, you should be you and do what you feel most comfortable with. If you want to ask her to hang out now but you're waiting just because we told you to, you might just hype yourself up in your head and when the time comes to actually ask her out you might be super nervous and eff up.
If you do what feels most comfortable to you, then you're being yourself. And hey, if she rejects, then she's not the one anyway. 0 -
yes.
where's your balls?0 -
I think she moved into the correct house!!! Ask her.0
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The consensus is that I should go for it next time I see her. That's the gameplan.
Hopefully our paths will cross this weekend and I'll have an entertaining story for everyone next week :drinker:0 -
Consensus? Maybe on page 2. I thought the page 1 consensus was to give her a chance to get settled in. Good luck and cheers! :drinker:The consensus is that I should go for it next time I see her. That's the gameplan.
Hopefully our paths will cross this weekend and I'll have an entertaining story for everyone next week :drinker:0 -
The consensus is that I should go for it next time I see her. That's the gameplan.
Hopefully our paths will cross this weekend and I'll have an entertaining story for everyone next week :drinker:
You must have not read the first page...you gotta wait a while. Don't freak her out by being that guy ...0
This discussion has been closed.