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Dealbreaker- not liking your pets?

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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I agree with you. Pets are our family. A friend of mine got rid of her dog for a guy. Just shy of their one-year wedding anniversary, he told her he wanted to keep living together and sleeping together, but also get divorced and see other people.

    So, she had no dog and the man was gone, too. Love me, love my pets. We're a package deal.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    I'd prefer not to date someone with pets. Life is busy and complex enough the way it is. Even though pets provide companionship, I've always seen them as more of a liability instead of an asset.

    Even though it's not an ultimate deal breaker, realistically, I can't see myself dating someone with a cat or dog.
  • kendrafallon
    kendrafallon Posts: 1,030 Member
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    While I had cats, it was love me, love my cats. So yes it was a deal breaker if the chap couldn't deal with my cats.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I wouldn't "not date" someone who had pets, but I have a friend with a dog whose hair irritates my eyes if I'm over too long. So while I would love to have pets in the future (I love both cats and dogs-they're so different), I think I would be less likely to settle down with someone who insists on pets in the bed.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Huge dealbreaker. My dog is basically part of the family, people don't just give up their children, why would I be expected to give up my dog? And I've had dogs my whole life, I don't think I could marry anyone that didn't like them. Especially Coop, he's probably one of the coolest dogs ever.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    Just thought I'd throw it out there that the reverse can also be a dealbreaker. I like animals, but I have no pets myself. I've got no issue with people that love their pets, but if a girl tells/shows me that she will never love me as much as she loves her dog or cat, then thanks but no thanks.

    Yeah, I don't know if anybody actually said realistically that they're never going to love a significant other more than their pet - these are just people saying that their furbabies are not expendable. Many people adopt animals just to toss them away when they become inconvenient (moving and not willing to find a place that accepts animals, having a baby and not willing to work around the animal, not wanting to put in the effort to train properly, etc) so it really warms my heart that so many people seem as adamant as I am about our four legged friends <3
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Actually, I find it quite startling that the peeps would choose a pet over the love of another human being.

    So why do you guys want a partner then? Seems to me like your life is fulfilled with the love of an animal??

    Forgive me, I'm not against animals, but I've been allergic since childhood so I've never formed a bond with one. I'm genuinely interested in how you can decide an animal is more important in life?

    I mean, if the love of my life has a dog, I'd live on anti histamines to accommodate him, but you guys dont seem to want to make any sacrifice here..................so??
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
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    I understand people that dont have children that love their pets like their children but I view an animal as an animal. I dont want one in my house or especially my bed. My best friend treats her cats and dog like they are her babies. I understand that, i also respect that they live in her house and I am only a guest but for me, no animals in the house. i am not sure how I would handle it if I were to date someone that allows the dog or cat in the bed. Would be something to deal with along with any other issue, i guess.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Actually, I find it quite startling that the peeps would choose a pet over the love of another human being.

    So why do you guys want a partner then? Seems to me like your life is fulfilled with the love of an animal??

    Forgive me, I'm not against animals, but I've been allergic since childhood so I've never formed a bond with one. I'm genuinely interested in how you can decide an animal is more important in life?

    I mean, if the love of my life has a dog, I'd live on anti histamines to accommodate him, but you guys dont seem to want to make any sacrifice here..................so??

    I think it is very much like Roadie said... you wouldn't ask someone who had a child to give them up. Pets are the equivalent of children, not spouses, in my opinion.

    On the compromise front, one example is that my dog currently sleeps on my bed. If I had a spouse, I wouldn't allow her to do that any longer. Things like that are what need to be re-arranged, not the love of the animal itself.
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    Life is always a compromise. My dog is with my in-laws, which whom I have a great relationship (my ex has a terrible relationship with her own family, but that's another story).

    I just couldn't keep him in my 3rd story apartment, with no elevator, traveling like I do, after the divorce. But I see him just about every weekend. He has a huge garden, he goes for long walks in the forest behind their house everyday, etc. I pay "dog support" so he has quality food, etc. He's getting quite old, but he's seen it all: my marriage, two kids, divorce. He's traveled from Europe to the USA and back, living on two continents, he has his own dog passport, and probably more frequent flyer miles than most Americans.

    --P
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Actually, I find it quite startling that the peeps would choose a pet over the love of another human being.

    So why do you guys want a partner then? Seems to me like your life is fulfilled with the love of an animal??

    Forgive me, I'm not against animals, but I've been allergic since childhood so I've never formed a bond with one. I'm genuinely interested in how you can decide an animal is more important in life?

    I mean, if the love of my life has a dog, I'd live on anti histamines to accommodate him, but you guys dont seem to want to make any sacrifice here..................so??
    I just don't see myself getting to the point where I had to choose. If they have a problem with me having a dog then they shouldn't date me. Yes it is an animal but he has also been my companion for almost 7 years. Plus, I've always been a dog person, I wouldn't just be giving up my dog, I'd basically be giving up dogs for life. That would be even harder.

    Sacrifice? If someone told you you had to either take a pill every day or give up your kids (or something else very dear to you) what would you do? I don't see any middle ground here.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    Actually, I find it quite startling that the peeps would choose a pet over the love of another human being.

    So why do you guys want a partner then? Seems to me like your life is fulfilled with the love of an animal??

    Forgive me, I'm not against animals, but I've been allergic since childhood so I've never formed a bond with one. I'm genuinely interested in how you can decide an animal is more important in life?

    I mean, if the love of my life has a dog, I'd live on anti histamines to accommodate him, but you guys dont seem to want to make any sacrifice here..................so??

    Anna, can you ever have too much love in your life? There are so many different kinds of love, and animal love is special in its own way. Animal love is pure and unquestioning. My cats miss me when I'm gone and run up to me when I get home. They cuddle me because I am a source of comfort, not just food (though that helped with the bonding process, haha). They have adapted their natural lifestyle and communication methods to accommodate me as much as they can and I do the same for them.

    It's not that I am so fulfilled I could never have a partner in my life, it's that I wouldn't be fulfilled if I had to be with someone that wouldn't let me have that animal love that I treasure and appreciate so much. It's not that I won't make any sacrifice - it's that I won't sacrifice my animals or my passion for them. I wouldn't resent a person that didn't want animals, I just wouldn't date them.
  • NCTravellingGirl
    NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
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    Actually, I find it quite startling that the peeps would choose a pet over the love of another human being.

    So why do you guys want a partner then? Seems to me like your life is fulfilled with the love of an animal??

    Forgive me, I'm not against animals, but I've been allergic since childhood so I've never formed a bond with one. I'm genuinely interested in how you can decide an animal is more important in life?

    I mean, if the love of my life has a dog, I'd live on anti histamines to accommodate him, but you guys dont seem to want to make any sacrifice here..................so??
    I just don't see myself getting to the point where I had to choose. If they have a problem with me having a dog then they shouldn't date me. Yes it is an animal but he has also been my companion for almost 7 years. Plus, I've always been a dog person, I wouldn't just be giving up my dog, I'd basically be giving up dogs for life. That would be even harder.

    Sacrifice? If someone told you you had to either take a pill every day or give up your kids (or something else very dear to you) what would you do? I don't see any middle ground here.

    ^^ This. It's not a sacrifice or choosing one over the other. The right person for me will like my dog or they aren't the right person! Besides, Schroder has earned his place in 6.5 years. Like I said, he's been there through it all. The right guy should be equally as devoted and half as loving(I don't need quite so many kisses haha). I'm sure he's as equally cool as Coop , Dave, and will be nice and not say he's more ha!
  • pammbroo
    pammbroo Posts: 550 Member
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    Love me...love my animals. They are part of who I am and part of my family sooooo....

    While they don't "replace" a human companion, they definitely fill a void and provide true, unconditional love. After our family dog passed, I waited awhile before getting another b/c my son was preparing for his first year of college, etc. After he left, my house was too quiet! Couldn't see myself growing old with my cats (although that would have been their preference). I rescued a dog last year and definitely stirred it up, but am so happy I did. He's great company and alot of fun, but like having a toddler at times. I keep telling Tucker he's lucky he's so damn cute...

    Crazy animal lady? Yea, probably. But the right person should find that charming, right???
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
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    Not only is it a dealbreaker for me... but if someone was willing to give up their dog for someone they were dating I would be disgusted by them! Cats are another issue though :tongue:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    All in all sounds like another reason I was right to swear off having a pet of my own almost 20 years ago when our house cat died at 14 + years of having her.

    Makes no difference to me at all if a lady has one or not.
    I like animals just don`t want to get attached to them for the short time they are here.
  • RMuske
    RMuske Posts: 271 Member
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    Obviously the relationship I have with my dog is different than the relationship I have with my boyfriend. The love is different. My man has a cat, our pets HATE each other. But we make it work because we both know our pets are important to us. We care about each other enough that it doesn't matter.

    It is not about choosing a love for my pet over a love from/for a man. It is completely different in my mind. Finding someone who understands that is always a plus!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Actually, I find it quite startling that the peeps would choose a pet over the love of another human being.

    So why do you guys want a partner then? Seems to me like your life is fulfilled with the love of an animal??

    Forgive me, I'm not against animals, but I've been allergic since childhood so I've never formed a bond with one. I'm genuinely interested in how you can decide an animal is more important in life?

    I mean, if the love of my life has a dog, I'd live on anti histamines to accommodate him, but you guys dont seem to want to make any sacrifice here..................so??

    The compromise I would make in that situation would be to ask the SO to take the pills while my current pet is alive and agree to either no more pets or one the SO was not allergic to after that. I would not get rid of my current pet and I don't think it's fair to ask that. It's a living creature, not a toy.

    It would be difficult for me to never have a pet again, but for the right person, I would probably make that sacrifice. But ONLY for a medical reason. If you just plain don't like animals, you're not for me.
  • HellsKells
    HellsKells Posts: 671 Member
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    Just thought I'd throw it out there that the reverse can also be a dealbreaker. I like animals, but I have no pets myself. I've got no issue with people that love their pets, but if a girl tells/shows me that she will never love me as much as she loves her dog or cat, then thanks but no thanks.

    This, except with dudes.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I mean, if the love of my life has a dog, I'd live on anti histamines to accommodate him, but you guys dont seem to want to make any sacrifice here..................so??

    The compromise I would make in that situation would be to ask the SO to take the pills while my current pet is alive and agree to either no more pets or one the SO was not allergic to after that. I would not get rid of my current pet and I don't think it's fair to ask that. It's a living creature, not a toy.

    It would be difficult for me to never have a pet again, but for the right person, I would probably make that sacrifice. But ONLY for a medical reason. If you just plain don't like animals, you're not for me.

    I, honestly, would have to say no if someone asked me to take meds for the rest of my life to be with them. I have sensitive skin and many processed/artificial foods break me out. I already go way out of my way in daily life to ensure I can still go out to eat with friends or eat at their houses w/o getting sick or broken out or swelling or whatever. There’s no way I’m going to willingly add to that the chore and danger of constantly taking meds.

    I had dogs growing up, and this isn’t an issue with all animals. If the love of my life had a pet that aggravated my condition, and that pet couldn’t be contained to certain parts of the house or outside where we can peacefully co-exist then it’s just gonna have to be one of those unrequited loves you see in campy B movies.

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