What would you think...
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And why do the guys feel this would be an issue but the women don't? Does it have to do with jealousy or insecurity? (I'm not saying it does, I'm just putting the thought out there.)
I have no issue with dating a girl that had a fling with a friend of mine, but it all depends on how I'm introduced to the girl, why she broke up with the friend, what he thinks of her, etc., etc.
Again, unless I'm missing something, you described the situation as follows: you randomly meet a guy on Match, and later you discover that you know two of his friends. Not only that (which already is quite a coincidence), but you have hooked up with both of them! You're 2 for 2. OK, you "only" kissed one, but still. From the guy's point of view, doesn't that seem quite strange that you (a) know two of his friends, and (b) hooked up with both of them???
OK, let's play the reverse game: you meet a guy on Match, you later learn that two of your friends know him. And he hooked up with both of them. Wouldn't your first thought be, "This guy is a player."
--P
Well, if it was a "fling", then there was no breaking up to do, now is there? That's what this was, there was no romance between us, hence the term "hook up". And I already played the reverse game above, said it wouldn't bother me.
A) I can't help that I know his friends before I know him (I actually know three...the third I can't stand, we worked together for years.)
And
if it was just a hookup, it wouldn't bother me at all, as I've mentioned. As long as I know there were no feelings there, it really wouldn't bother me. If she was a skank, maybe. But I'm no skank, and anyone that knows me knows I'm no skank. So no, it wouldn't bother me that he had a past. 0 -
A) I can't help that I know his friends before I know him (I actually know three...the third I can't stand, we worked together for years.)
And if it was just a hookup, it wouldn't bother me at all, as I've mentioned. As long as I know there were no feelings there, it really wouldn't bother me. If she was a skank, maybe. But I'm no skank, and anyone that knows me knows I'm no skank. So no, it wouldn't bother me that he had a past.
Regarding A - So I assume you didn't hook up with the third friend? So it's 2 for 3?
Regarding B - My point now isn't the hook up, that happens. I tend to agree with you that the past is the past (although it depends on the details). My main issue was how you had managed to hook up with both of the mutual friends you have in common. Your score was a perfect 100%. Now with this new info, you're down to 67% (assuming you didn't hook up with the guy you can't stand).
Don't you see how this may - perhaps, kinda - make it look like you are very "hook up friendly"?? You don't know each other, and what limited info he has on you (assuming he knows about the previous hook ups) does not paint a wonderful picture about the ease at which you tend to hook up with people.
I'm just saying how it's going to look to most guys. If it were 1 hook up in 10 mutual friends, OK, things happen. But 2 out of 3?
I'm reminded of the wonderful line in The Importance of Being Ernest: "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."
--P0 -
A) I can't help that I know his friends before I know him (I actually know three...the third I can't stand, we worked together for years.)
And if it was just a hookup, it wouldn't bother me at all, as I've mentioned. As long as I know there were no feelings there, it really wouldn't bother me. If she was a skank, maybe. But I'm no skank, and anyone that knows me knows I'm no skank. So no, it wouldn't bother me that he had a past.
Regarding A - So I assume you didn't hook up with the third friend? So it's 2 for 3?
Regarding B - My point now isn't the hook up, that happens. I tend to agree with you that the past is the past (although it depends on the details). My main issue was how you had managed to hook up with both of the mutual friends you have in common. Your score was a perfect 100%. Now with this new info, you're down to 67% (assuming you didn't hook up with the guy you can't stand).
Don't you see how this may - perhaps, kinda - make it look like you are very "hook up friendly"?? You don't know each other, and what limited info he has on you (assuming he knows about the previous hook ups) does not paint a wonderful picture about the ease at which you tend to hook up with people.
I'm just saying how it's going to look to most guys. If it were 1 hook up in 10 mutual friends, OK, things happen. But 2 out of 3?
I'm reminded of the wonderful line in The Importance of Being Ernest: "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."
--P
Sometimes I despair with the double standards that men have!! I actually know a man that MARRIED his WIFE's SISTER!!! :laugh:
It's just a coincidence P, get over it! Your judgmental skills are way off base, and, thankfully, not all men think like you. Some men realise that kissing someone means practically nothing, and sleeping with someone in a moment of passion, is human!
If YOU dont like to think of your woman as having a sex life before you, then fine, find a teenage virgin. But most people in their 20s. 30s, 40s + have kissed more than one person and slept with more than one person. The fact that those 2 people are known is irrelevant. As they say, it's a small world!!
How anything LOOKS, and how something IS, is entirely different. What if those were the ONLY 2 guys that had come near toots in her whole life?
Jeez!Regarding A - So I assume you didn't hook up with the third friend? So it's 2 for 3?
And your comment there is just disrespectful, smartarse!!! :huh:0 -
And your comment there is just disrespectful, smartarse!!! :huh:
LOL!
Well, she was 2 for 2. Who knows?
--P0 -
Sometimes I despair with the double standards that men have!! I actually know a man that MARRIED his WIFE's SISTER!!! :laugh:
It's just a coincidence P, get over it! Your judgmental skills are way off base, and, thankfully, not all men think like you. Some men realise that kissing someone means practically nothing, and sleeping with someone in a moment of passion, is human!
Talk about a double standard! Weren't the women on here some time back claiming that kissing is actually cheating? Now, apparently, it means "practically nothing!" Good to know!
--P0 -
Sometimes I despair with the double standards that men have!! I actually know a man that MARRIED his WIFE's SISTER!!! :laugh:
It's just a coincidence P, get over it! Your judgmental skills are way off base, and, thankfully, not all men think like you. Some men realise that kissing someone means practically nothing, and sleeping with someone in a moment of passion, is human!
Talk about a double standard! Weren't the women on here some time back claiming that kissing is actually cheating? Now, apparently, it means "practically nothing!" Good to know!
--P
You KNOW what I mean!
:laugh: 0 -
Sometimes I despair with the double standards that men have!! I actually know a man that MARRIED his WIFE's SISTER!!! :laugh:
It's just a coincidence P, get over it! Your judgmental skills are way off base, and, thankfully, not all men think like you. Some men realise that kissing someone means practically nothing, and sleeping with someone in a moment of passion, is human!
Talk about a double standard! Weren't the women on here some time back claiming that kissing is actually cheating? Now, apparently, it means "practically nothing!" Good to know!
--P
You KNOW what I mean! :laugh:
I just want you guys to know that I found this endlessly enjoyable, hahaha0 -
Regarding A - So I assume you didn't hook up with the third friend? So it's 2 for 3?
Oh God no! I'd be celibate for life before I did that.Don't you see how this may - perhaps, kinda - make it look like you are very "hook up friendly"?? You don't know each other, and what limited info he has on you (assuming he knows about the previous hook ups) does not paint a wonderful picture about the ease at which you tend to hook up with people.
He doesn't know.
I'm just saying how it's going to look to most guys. If it were 1 hook up in 10 mutual friends, OK, things happen. But 2 out of 3?
I'm reminded of the wonderful line in The Importance of Being Ernest: "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."
Oh it was careless alright...no doubt about that!0 -
It's just a coincidence P, get over it! Your judgmental skills are way off base, and, thankfully, not all men think like you. Some men realise that kissing someone means practically nothing, and sleeping with someone in a moment of passion, is human!
Or in a moment of un=sobriety, twice. :laugh:
How anything LOOKS, and how something IS, is entirely different. What if those were the ONLY 2 guys that had come near toots in her whole life?
Jeez!
Honestly, they were the first two in a looooooooong time, When it happened, I was not used to boys flirting with me so I took advantage of it! And the other one was just a kiss, that's nothing!0 -
Sometimes I despair with the double standards that men have!! I actually know a man that MARRIED his WIFE's SISTER!!! :laugh:
It's just a coincidence P, get over it! Your judgmental skills are way off base, and, thankfully, not all men think like you. Some men realise that kissing someone means practically nothing, and sleeping with someone in a moment of passion, is human!
Talk about a double standard! Weren't the women on here some time back claiming that kissing is actually cheating? Now, apparently, it means "practically nothing!" Good to know!
--P
Oh no no, the topic here isn't cheating! No one was seeing anyone else at the time, so there was no cheating going on!0
