I am a tramp.
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I'm old school, like you.That's all well and good to say, but what I'm saying is, if it comes to getting serious, would you of really wanted them to be getting their swerve on with others whilst courting you?
I've had it happen to me, I was shocked, sad and hurt. Just saying.
I normally date a single person at one time, but because of that though, I try to move pretty fast with them, to get to know the person well enough as early as possible, so as not to waste their time or mine. I can be exclusive within the first two weeks...
But on the other hand, I can dump the girl after 4 weeks despite the fact that we were exclusive (because exclusive, to me, only means I will focus on the girl and try my best at attempting a relationship).0 -
Just curious to know, would you be pissed off, if things worked out this guy, then you found out he was sleeping with other chicks whilst "casually dating" you?
Good question Nat.
This is why I dont really understand the American 'casual' dating or the 'exclusive' talk thing (unless you're just going out and sharing time or it's a one off!). To me, if I'm sleeping with someone I'm having a relationship with them. If I'm regularly sleeping with someone, they better not be sleeping with anyone else!! :noway: That's just ewwww!
I'd be particularly pissed if you told me you weren't that kind of girl and that you wanted to take it slow. I believe you stated in a previous post that's how you presented yourself to one of the guys.0 -
Just curious to know, would you be pissed off, if things worked out this guy, then you found out he was sleeping with other chicks whilst "casually dating" you?
Good question Nat.
This is why I dont really understand the American 'casual' dating or the 'exclusive' talk thing (unless you're just going out and sharing time or it's a one off!). To me, if I'm sleeping with someone I'm having a relationship with them. If I'm regularly sleeping with someone, they better not be sleeping with anyone else!! :noway: That's just ewwww!
Gosh I should have named this thread something different .. lol
I think that if you aren't exclusive .. you know what you are getting into if you sleep with him or her. That there is a possibility that they are sleeping with other people. That is why you use a condom! If you are sleeping with the regularly then there has probably been some conversation about exclusivity.
That's all well and good to say, but what I'm saying is, if it comes to getting serious, would you of really wanted them to be getting their swerve on with others whilst courting you?
I've had it happen to me, I was shocked, sad and hurt. Just saying.
I can see both sides of this one. I try not to assume anything of the other person because you just never know unless it's been discussed. And the best policy is to carry oneself in a way that wouldn't bring shame if you had to admit it later on.0 -
If someone is hooking up with other people while you two are "dating, but not exclusive" stage.. then she/he was never into you in the first place.0
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Just curious to know, would you be pissed off, if things worked out this guy, then you found out he was sleeping with other chicks whilst "casually dating" you?
Good question Nat.
This is why I dont really understand the American 'casual' dating or the 'exclusive' talk thing (unless you're just going out and sharing time or it's a one off!). To me, if I'm sleeping with someone I'm having a relationship with them. If I'm regularly sleeping with someone, they better not be sleeping with anyone else!! :noway: That's just ewwww!
I'd be particularly pissed if you told me you weren't that kind of girl and that you wanted to take it slow. I believe you stated in a previous post that's how you presented yourself to one of the guys.
:noway: This is a very interesting point because while it isn't a conversation about being exclusive necessarily, it is one that can imply that the two of you are heading in that direction.0 -
Just curious to know, would you be pissed off, if things worked out this guy, then you found out he was sleeping with other chicks whilst "casually dating" you?
Good question Nat.
This is why I dont really understand the American 'casual' dating or the 'exclusive' talk thing (unless you're just going out and sharing time or it's a one off!). To me, if I'm sleeping with someone I'm having a relationship with them. If I'm regularly sleeping with someone, they better not be sleeping with anyone else!! :noway: That's just ewwww!
I'd be particularly pissed if you told me you weren't that kind of girl and that you wanted to take it slow. I believe you stated in a previous post that's how you presented yourself to one of the guys.
Amazona, I am interested in your response to this. While I don't believe that one needs to be exclusive before sex, I would be livid if some guy was telling me no to sex until we're monogamous and I spend all this time trying to win him over just to find out he's been getting some on the side the whole time. It seems like you're playing both sides of the fence here.0 -
If someone is hooking up with other people while you two are "dating, but not exclusive" stage.. then she/he was never into you in the first place.
do you really think this? Hmm. I guess that could be true on some levels. Maybe they just aren't ready to be in an exclusive relationship. I think especially if you have been married before and know how hard it is. Or maybe it is a mind set .. if you are dating to look to get married and think this person is the one .. but if you are looking to spend time with people who you like.
I dunno.0 -
If someone is hooking up with other people while you two are "dating, but not exclusive" stage.. then she/he was never into you in the first place.
do you really think this? Hmm. I guess that could be true on some levels. Maybe they just aren't ready to be in an exclusive relationship. I think especially if you have been married before and know how hard it is. Or maybe it is a mind set .. if you are dating to look to get married and think this person is the one .. but if you are looking to spend time with people who you like.
I dunno.
I absolutely agree with Mike on this one. Let the hell fires open. If I am interested in someone I wouldn't think of sleeping with someone else even if we were only casually dating.0 -
I wonder if it is a stage of life thing .. having been married, I have a different opinion of this now. Obviously I would be honest in saying you are not the only one I am seeing. Perhaps that is the difference .. the knowing he is still seeing other people or not. ??
I don't know that I am totally sold on the he or she was never into you in the first place. I think after a few months I think this would then be true .. but at first or after a few dates .. I don't know that you know well enough to make that statement.0 -
Well I've been married and I also would be very upset to find out if someone I was seeing was sleeping with someone else. But the way I am if someone didn't impress me within 5 minutes of meeting them and I have no hopes to ever see them naked I wouldn't see them again. So if I sleep with someone it is someone I could see a future with. And let me add that I am SO happy that things look like I won't have to be messing with all this dating garbage for a while. And do I dare say maybe never again?!?!?! Things are THAT good.0
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I'm all for multi-dating, at least in the early stages of a relationship. I think it really helps in not getting attached to someone too soon, and to ensure that I am not seeing too much of someone too soon. However, once I start hitting around 3-5 dates with a guy and he's pulled out to the head of the pack, I generally don't feel right dating others, whether or not we've discussed exclusivity, or whether or not we are sleeping together. By that point, I would feel hurt if he was dating others, so I wouldn't do it to him.I don't know that I am totally sold on the he or she was never into you in the first place. I think after a few months I think this would then be true .. but at first or after a few dates .. I don't know that you know well enough to make that statement.
I agree. At least on the first date or two, you are there obviously because you think there is some potential with the person, but who knows?0 -
Just curious to know, would you be pissed off, if things worked out this guy, then you found out he was sleeping with other chicks whilst "casually dating" you?
Good question Nat.
This is why I dont really understand the American 'casual' dating or the 'exclusive' talk thing (unless you're just going out and sharing time or it's a one off!). To me, if I'm sleeping with someone I'm having a relationship with them. If I'm regularly sleeping with someone, they better not be sleeping with anyone else!! :noway: That's just ewwww!
Anna I don't understand it one bit and I'm American!!!'0 -
Just curious to know, would you be pissed off, if things worked out this guy, then you found out he was sleeping with other chicks whilst "casually dating" you?
Good question Nat.
This is why I dont really understand the American 'casual' dating or the 'exclusive' talk thing (unless you're just going out and sharing time or it's a one off!). To me, if I'm sleeping with someone I'm having a relationship with them. If I'm regularly sleeping with someone, they better not be sleeping with anyone else!! :noway: That's just ewwww!
Anna I don't understand it one bit and I'm American!!!'
Same here. Was seeing a girl for a couple months, so I would say probably close to 10 dates. She wanted to just take things slow (no problem with me). But found out later that she was taking it slow with me b/c it was hot and heavy with another guy. I guess I was giving her the emotional side of things, but she was getting all the physical from another person.
Needless to say even though things had been going 'good', once I found this out I was done. Maybe I commit too quickly to one person, but after like 5 dates or so, I just can't be juggling multiple people (especially once it becomes sexual). I don't have that much time.0 -
I wonder if it is a stage of life thing .. having been married, I have a different opinion of this now. Obviously I would be honest in saying you are not the only one I am seeing. Perhaps that is the difference .. the knowing he is still seeing other people or not. ??
I don't know that I am totally sold on the he or she was never into you in the first place. I think after a few months I think this would then be true .. but at first or after a few dates .. I don't know that you know well enough to make that statement.
There is a difference between seeing and sleeping with. I can see someone casually dating/seeing multiple people but sleeping with someone and seeing someone else that just doesn't make sense to me.0 -
lol well if you are a tramp then I am such the ho/slut
I FINALLY got my freakin sex drive back - and well I dabbled with a 31 yo and schooled him on what its like to be with an older woman.
Shoot, enjoy those sexy muscles and that they want to be there with you!!! The thinking you are experiencing can be normal but chase it out of your head because as said earlier, it will chase him away. YGG !!!0 -
This is why I dont really understand the American 'casual' dating or the 'exclusive' talk thing (unless you're just going out and sharing time or it's a one off!). To me, if I'm sleeping with someone I'm having a relationship with them. If I'm regularly sleeping with someone, they better not be sleeping with anyone else!! :noway: That's just ewwww!
This is a very timely topic for me. I'm dating a non-American and we had the discussion of what an exclusive relationship was the other day. She found it extremely odd that there was an official title that meant you would not sleep with other people and said that she couldn't picture herself dating multiple people at the same time. HOWEVER, today she made a statement that she enjoys this "non-official" status we have due to the romantic quality of it.
I'm in agreement but now I am scratching my head trying to figure it out.0 -
I'm in agreement but now I am scratching my head trying to figure it out.
OH SHIZZLE! She just bad boy'd you!!!!0 -
lol well if you are a tramp then I am such the ho/slut
I FINALLY got my freakin sex drive back - and well I dabbled with a 31 yo and schooled him on what its like to be with an older woman.
Shoot, enjoy those sexy muscles and that they want to be there with you!!! The thinking you are experiencing can be normal but chase it out of your head because as said earlier, it will chase him away. YGG !!!
Woot woot!! Good girl!! We older women rock don't we??!!
He came by yesterday and I was walking him out .. and I put my arm through his and it just always amazes me how strong he is. Like .. holy *kitten* he is strong.0 -
Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.
The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!
Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.
I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.
I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).0 -
If someone is hooking up with other people while you two are "dating, but not exclusive" stage.. then she/he was never into you in the first place.
Completely agree with this!0
