Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.

The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!

Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.

I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.

I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).

Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.

The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!

Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.

I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.

I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).

You little tramp, you! LOL. J/k. My girl friends always say it's not cheating if it's not official.

Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.

The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!

Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.

I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.

I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).

You little tramp, you! LOL. J/k. My girl friends always say it's not cheating if it's not official.

Easy to say ladies until the shoe is on the other foot huh. If you liked the guy and were emotionally invested in him then found out I get you wouldn't like it as much.

But the thing is...we don't go into that thinking or expecting the guy to be exclusive until told otherwise. And if the girl is still dating other people too then she really can't get upset to find out that he was seeing other people too.

I agree totally Kitsune. Its all good and well to go have fun, but in my book, if im dating someone, I concentrate on them, maybe its old fashioned but I wouldnt think its very gentlemen like to be dating someone, whilst they are possibly becoming emotionally invested in me and be sleeping with someone else at the same time... I wouldnt think much of the girl who did that to me either.

If both parties are openly doing it to each other, thats fine, thats up to them to deal with it, but its all behind closed doors and one sided then I dont think thats cool at all.

I agree totally Kitsune. Its all good and well to go have fun, but in my book, if im dating someone, I concentrate on them, maybe its old fashioned but I wouldnt think its very gentlemen like to be dating someone, whilst they are possibly becoming emotionally invested in me and be sleeping with someone else at the same time... I wouldnt think much of the girl who did that to me either.

If both parties are openly doing it to each other, thats fine, thats up to them to deal with it, but its all behind closed doors and one sided then I dont think thats cool at all.

Not saying to go hoing around or keep it secret....but if you didn't ask, she didn't tell. Just saying, in this day and age, never assume exclusivity. And (totally not saying this is how or what Amazona and I do) isn't telling one guy you're waiting to be exclusive to have sex and then sleeping with another on the side better than sleeping with them both? :laugh:

Ok I'm gonna put a "legal" spin on things. (However just as a disclaimer, I am NOT giving ACTUAL LEGAL ADVISE, I don't wanna get disbarred before I'm even licensed). In law, you can't be convicted of a crime that isn't on the books yet (that's called ex post facto). Meaning, if y'all didn't have the exclusive talk/understanding then you can't be mad when someone you're dating is sleeping with other people. When you assume you make an *kitten* out of "you" & "me."

If you recently start dating new people and you know that you're the type of person that wants things exclusive from the get-go, then open your mouth and say something. If your significant other doesn't want to commit as soon as you, then grow a pair and drop them. Don't settle for something that equates to something beyond a mutual compromise.

Communication is EVERYTHING in a good relationship. If you wanna know something ask. Otherwise if you remain "silent" its your own bad, because omissions aren't necessarily lies. However, keep in mind that you should treat others as you wanna be treated. Don't by a hypocrite.

Moral of the story - If you remain silent, no one can hear you. Communicate from the start.

I was responding to the the "exclusivity" dilemma

No one is assuming exclusivity, Amazona was just originally saying that she was telling the guy no until they're exclusive - which is totally fine until you learn that there are other people who are getting the goods and aren't held to the same standards. Not saying anyone is a bad person, I just don't understand the logic.

Yes this is Dr. Robinson (not an MD though, a JD). Nice to talk to you.

Let me translate "girl-ism code" for you (in case you may or may not know). Here's why it's considered "acceptable" for a woman to sleep with a man she cares very little for quickly, & initially deny sex to the man she does care for. Two words... DOUBLE STANDARD.

Woman are labelled as being loose, *kitten*, easy, etc., if they sleep with a man "too soon." While some women do care about men they think could be LTRs & want to sleep with them right away (1st / 2nd date), if they do, most men won't take them seriously. It's the old adage "you can't turn a hoe into a housewife." Women's virtue is held to harsher standard than men's. Sad but true.

Getting to the point, when a woman denies the man she really cares for sex, it's because she wants him to respect her, to take her serious. She doesn't wanna be punished by the double standard if she gives it up too soon (even if she really wants to). Whereas with a guy she's not serious about, she could care less what he thinks of her. So there's no double standard punishment. The double standard's irrelevant at that point.

I know it seem counter intuitive, but that's the reality. Of course exceptions do exist, but that's the general rule of thumb.

Again it goes back to the "exclusive conversation." If the conversation's been had & there's a mutual agreement, then I agree with you, people shouldn't continue to sleeping with multiple partners. But if the convo hasn't happened yet, or people aren't communicating what they consider acceptable, then you really can be mad at the person who's a sex multiplex. It all boils down to communication.

Relationships are gray areas. People have to verbalize what they want and how they feel