Seriously, I need input....
daniran
Posts: 233 Member
I'm having a day of sorts.... Ugh! My husband went into business for himself a couple of years ago. Recently, he asked me to help out. He's bugging' the crap out of me!!!! All he talks about is business. He's gets up talking about business and goes to sleep talking about business. And, he wants to give me all the crap (paperwork) he doesn't like dealing with, some of which I'm clueless on. Everytime he has a whim, he calls and wants to delegate it to me. Aside from this, I'm supposed to play "nice wife" too. I feel like he's zapping all of my energy and brain space. Today, it's amplified x 10. Does anyone have any suggestions how to handle this? Seriously, I need input.
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Well, perhaps you and he can have a talk and set some boundaries. For instance, maybe he can talk about his business one hour a day, and boundaries get set on what kind of tasks you are willing to do. Then I would try to plan a fun activity, something you both enjoy, at least once a week, where anything but business can be discussed.0
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This can be very trying. Do you work apart from helping him with his business? Are you a stay at home Mom that has way too many other chores? Work in another field? Sometimes, I think husbands don't realize all of the other things we do. There is the housework, children (if they are at home...and even if they aren't) your job not related to the business and so many other things that need to be done and they just don't realize what it is. If you aren't interested in the business and can afford to hire an assistant, sometimes this can be a high school or college student that just needs some extra money.
I think the best thing is to sit down and have a chat about what both of your expectations are about your roles in the business. If it is just paperwork that you are overwhelmed with I am sure there are some of us here that can help. I have some knowledge and am willing to help. If it is something I don't know about I am pretty good at finding the right answers.
I know this may not be the answer you are looking for but without knowing more specifics, it the best advice I can offer.
We are here for you just let us know how to help....
Tonya0 -
Ladies, thank you for your suggestions. I've tried "the talk", and "the vacation." And it circles back around to business. He's a good guy, is very driven and knows what he wants to accomplish. I want to help, but I don't want to live just for him. His passion is not my passion. I need me time. And, I find it irritating that I'm expected to be available 24/7.0
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hmmm, well, when I find that my husband is caught up in something that doesn't interest me, I call my friends and go play with them. I don't blame you for being irritated. Personally, would definitely set a boundary as to what I was willing to do it and at what hours and for how long and stick to it.0
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Can the business afford an assistant for your husband? Even if you just had the discussion about the cost of an assistant and the hours needed, it would let both of you see how valuable your time is to the business. Because even if he is the only one working, there is a difference between your husband and his business. Depending on the tax setup, it might even make sense for you to be an employee of the business. As an employee, you could figure out a number of hours that make sense and be better able to keep your roles as wife and business person separate.
But it is difficult for any of us to be able to understand all of the dynamics of another family. So many people tell me I just need to tell my h that mil needs to leave within a specific time but its not so easy when it is your life and not a hypothetical.0
