Advice please
kathim429
Posts: 379 Member
I have been single for 5 years. I have tried about every single dating site out there. Have dated off and on but nothing serious for nearly 2 years. About a year ago I moved back to my hometown and have since been reconnecting with some old high school friends.
Within the past 2 weeks or so I have been chatting on facebook wtih a guy that I went to high school with. We seem to hit it off, he is funny and smart and we seem to get along. He has mentioned taking me out for a drink, he actually mentioned it twice. The second time, he said, "I really want to take you out for a drink sometime."
My question is this. My kids live with me and they go to their dad's house every other weekend. This is the weekend that they go away. Should I ask if he has time to go this weekend? or do I just wait to see it he brings it up again? I absolutely suck at this. LOL
Help!!
Within the past 2 weeks or so I have been chatting on facebook wtih a guy that I went to high school with. We seem to hit it off, he is funny and smart and we seem to get along. He has mentioned taking me out for a drink, he actually mentioned it twice. The second time, he said, "I really want to take you out for a drink sometime."
My question is this. My kids live with me and they go to their dad's house every other weekend. This is the weekend that they go away. Should I ask if he has time to go this weekend? or do I just wait to see it he brings it up again? I absolutely suck at this. LOL
Help!!
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Replies
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How have you responded previously?0
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I have been single for 5 years. I have tried about every single dating site out there. Have dated off and on but nothing serious for nearly 2 years. About a year ago I moved back to my hometown and have since been reconnecting with some old high school friends.
Within the past 2 weeks or so I have been chatting on facebook wtih a guy that I went to high school with. We seem to hit it off, he is funny and smart and we seem to get along. He has mentioned taking me out for a drink, he actually mentioned it twice. The second time, he said, "I really want to take you out for a drink sometime."
My question is this. My kids live with me and they go to their dad's house every other weekend. This is the weekend that they go away. Should I ask if he has time to go this weekend? or do I just wait to see it he brings it up again? I absolutely suck at this. LOL
Help!!
You say something like this: "You know how you would like to take me out sometime... this weekend would be perfect." Don't wait FB seems to be relationship gold.0 -
"Hey, those drinks you mentioned? They should make an appearance this weekend. What do you think?"0
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"Hey, those drinks you mentioned? They should make an appearance this weekend. What do you think?"
Yep!
"Man, I think I'm gonna be thirsty this weekend.."0 -
Within the past 2 weeks or so I have been chatting on facebook wtih a guy that I went to high school with. We seem to hit it off, he is funny and smart and we seem to get along. He has mentioned taking me out for a drink, he actually mentioned it twice. The second time, he said, "I really want to take you out for a drink sometime."
How did you respond when he mentioned it?0 -
Thank you! When he mentioned it before both times, I made sure I said yes. So, he knows I want to go.
I am looking forward to it, hope it happens this weekend, or it will be another two weeks of waiting.0 -
"Man, I think I'm gonna be thirsty this weekend.."
bahhahahaahah!0 -
Thank you! When he mentioned it before both times, I made sure I said yes. So, he knows I want to go.
I am looking forward to it, hope it happens this weekend, or it will be another two weeks of waiting.
Message him, and use one of the above lines. If you wait you have a greater chance of being disappointed.0 -
Thank you! When he mentioned it before both times, I made sure I said yes. So, he knows I want to go.
I am looking forward to it, hope it happens this weekend, or it will be another two weeks of waiting.
Okay,just let him know when you are available and that this weekend is a possibility.
He has asked so that is out of the way,nothing wrong with saying "how about this one?"0 -
I have been single for 5 years. I have tried about every single dating site out there. Have dated off and on but nothing serious for nearly 2 years. About a year ago I moved back to my hometown and have since been reconnecting with some old high school friends.
Within the past 2 weeks or so I have been chatting on facebook wtih a guy that I went to high school with. We seem to hit it off, he is funny and smart and we seem to get along. He has mentioned taking me out for a drink, he actually mentioned it twice. The second time, he said, "I really want to take you out for a drink sometime."
My question is this. My kids live with me and they go to their dad's house every other weekend. This is the weekend that they go away. Should I ask if he has time to go this weekend? or do I just wait to see it he brings it up again? I absolutely suck at this. LOL
Help!!
Just wondering.. why did he have to ask you twice? What did you say the first time?
Honestly, if a women said no to drinks with me the first time I asked, then I wouldn't have asked her a second time.
Anyway, if you're interested, make it known to him ASAP.0 -
I sent a message, now the waiting will kill me!0
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Thank you! When he mentioned it before both times, I made sure I said yes. So, he knows I want to go.
I am looking forward to it, hope it happens this weekend, or it will be another two weeks of waiting.
Oops.. just saw this. Disregard my last comment.0 -
I have been single for 5 years. I have tried about every single dating site out there. Have dated off and on but nothing serious for nearly 2 years. About a year ago I moved back to my hometown and have since been reconnecting with some old high school friends.
Within the past 2 weeks or so I have been chatting on facebook wtih a guy that I went to high school with. We seem to hit it off, he is funny and smart and we seem to get along. He has mentioned taking me out for a drink, he actually mentioned it twice. The second time, he said, "I really want to take you out for a drink sometime."
My question is this. My kids live with me and they go to their dad's house every other weekend. This is the weekend that they go away. Should I ask if he has time to go this weekend? or do I just wait to see it he brings it up again? I absolutely suck at this. LOL
Help!!
Just wondering.. why did he have to ask you twice? What did you say the first time?
Honestly, if a women said no to drinks with me the first time I asked, then I wouldn't have asked her a second time.
Anyway, if you're interested, make it known to him ASAP.
He actually said the first time we should go out for drinks sometime. I said yes, I would love that.
then the second time, he said, I really would like to take you out for a drink, and again I said absolutely, we need to go.
So, I think it was his way to show that he is interested.0 -
Thank you! When he mentioned it before both times, I made sure I said yes. So, he knows I want to go.
I am looking forward to it, hope it happens this weekend, or it will be another two weeks of waiting.
I know you already did it, but I wouldn't have done it. (Obviously I'm going against the consensus on the board.) Here's why:
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
2. Even assuming he is too shy to ask, you just asked him out on Friday afternoon for this weekend. Entirely last minute. Not only is it very likely he already has plans, which means you get rejected (never a good feeling), but he now knows that you have no plans for the weekend, much less dates with other men. You may have brought yourself down a notch.
I do hope it works out for you, though. I like to be proven wrong.0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.0 -
Thank you! When he mentioned it before both times, I made sure I said yes. So, he knows I want to go.
I am looking forward to it, hope it happens this weekend, or it will be another two weeks of waiting.
I know you already did it, but I wouldn't have done it. (Obviously I'm going against the consensus on the board.) Here's why:
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
2. Even assuming he is too shy to ask, you just asked him out on Friday afternoon for this weekend. Entirely last minute. Not only is it very likely he already has plans, which means you get rejected (never a good feeling), but he now knows that you have no plans for the weekend, much less dates with other men. You may have brought yourself down a notch.
I do hope it works out for you, though. I like to be proven wrong.
I agree with this, but also hope I am wrong. I have a rule about never accepting dates for the weekend any later in the week than Wednesday, and never accept any last minute invitations during the week either. I want them to think I'm a hip, happenin' gal about town juggling many suitors, even if I'm actually just sitting home with my cat watching Real fake Housewives of Wherever. Guys like the chase...you can't make yourself too available. At least that's what I'm told. But I'm still single, so maybe don't listen to me. :laugh:
Good luck and let us know how he responds!0 -
Hmmmm, I am now sick to my stomach...because I usually never even bring anything up again. I would sit and wait. Now, the message is sent and there is nothing I can do about it. I just know that I have only 2 weekends a month without kids and I guess we are still learning each other's schedules. He is widowed, so he is a single working dad.
I hope all works out but now of course I will worry!0 -
I think people spend too much time over thinking things. :laugh:
You live once,give life a shot.0 -
Hmmmm, I am now sick to my stomach...because I usually never even bring anything up again. I would sit and wait. Now, the message is sent and there is nothing I can do about it. I just know that I have only 2 weekends a month without kids and I guess we are still learning each other's schedules. He is widowed, so he is a single working dad.
I hope all works out but now of course I will worry!
If he is a single dad he probably just can't multi-task! lol He probably really meant to but life got in the way! I have my fingers and toes crossed for you!0 -
I would have done the same thing as you. In fact I have. Except I was the one who made the initial invite. On Facebook. I asked him for drinks. He said yes. We went. We got along fine but nothing ever went any further. Let us know!!!0
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I think you made the right decision by sending the message........hope it works out for you!0
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I am glad you sent the message. I can not wait to hear how things turn out!0
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1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!0 -
Try this:
"Hey. I'm naked this weekend, so I can't go out. Why don't you come over here for some body shots!."
See how that goes over.0 -
Try this:
"Hey. I'm naked this weekend, so I can't go out. Why don't you come over here for some body shots!."
See how that goes over.
Man....where was this answer a while ago????? Dammit!0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.
Yeah, no kidding. I like that you went ahead and did it - even if he was just being friendly worst case scenario he says "Sorry, I have plans" No big deal. The world won't end, you will both keep living and you'll still have a child free weekend to enjoy.
Yeesh.0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.
I don't think it's a game. I just have standards for myself.0 -
1. You told him you were interested in going out -- twice! Clearly! He knows it. Yet, he never solidified it (i.e., okay, how about Thursday, or Saturday, or Sunday?). Instead, you are left with a wishy washy, "sometime" just hanging out there. You are now pursuing him.
THIS.
This is why I asked why he had to ask you out twice. If I were to ask someone out for drinks (and she obliged) then I would set a time and place right then and there.
My major pet peeve are wishy-washy people. The fact that he asked you out twice and hasn't set a time/place would be a huge turnoff for me if I was a girl.
I agree...I feel like if he suggested drinks, you said yes then he should have said "okay, when?" instead of you having to do the asking. I'm not that big into women asking men out. But I hope it works out for you!
For all the people in here who say they don't like people who play games, there sure does seem to be a lot of gamemanship.
Yeah, no kidding. I like that you went ahead and did it - even if he was just being friendly worst case scenario he says "Sorry, I have plans" No big deal. The world won't end, you will both keep living and you'll still have a child free weekend to enjoy.
Yeesh.
Exactly.
Let's avoid the three-dimensional chess and just be honest and direct. He's expressed interest, you're free for the weekend, go for it! We're not 18, anymore. Playing hard to get is a losing long-term strategy.
If he declines, you've saved yourself weeks or months wondering if there's anything there. If he says "yes," you can have a nice date, and who knows?
Carpe diem.
--P0 -
I never ever never agree with a word you say .. but I agree with this!Exactly.
Let's avoid the three-dimensional chess and just be honest and direct. He's expressed interest, you're free for the weekend, go for it! We're not 18, anymore. Playing hard to get is a losing long-term strategy.
If he declines, you've saved yourself weeks or months wondering if there's anything there. If he says "yes," you can have a nice date, and who knows?
Carpe diem.
--P0
