When someone else cooks or serves you a meal...
deannarey13
Posts: 452
We are invited to a birthday party at my in-laws this weekend. I don't know what will be served, but it's almost always pizza or similar. I can avoid the cake without getting TOO much grief, but what do you do if the main dish is full of gluten or other foods that don't fit your lifestyle?
I get a lot of grief from my family about my food choices, but haven't come out directly and said that I am avoiding gluten, processed foods, sugar ect. I don't think I should have to define my choices to everyone.
How have you all dealt with this situation?
I get a lot of grief from my family about my food choices, but haven't come out directly and said that I am avoiding gluten, processed foods, sugar ect. I don't think I should have to define my choices to everyone.
How have you all dealt with this situation?
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Replies
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It's a no win-situation for me. If I eat what is served - it's just to appease other people. If I chose not to eat (if pizza is served for example) then I am hungry and get harrassed.
Is it rude to ask the host what will be served? I feel like it is, but at the same time then at least I can be prepared.0 -
Eat before you go, or maybe bring a huge salad, and eat that?0
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That is a tough one, I would eat a meal before you go so you aren't starving while you're there. I would also be prepared to eat a sliver of pizza (if that's the menu item) to appease the evil spirits :P That way it's not much harm done to your diet and you can avoid an awkward social situation. Or just tell them that you're avoiding gluten, sometimes honesty is the best policy (or will at least get them to leave it alone)0
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Eat Before you go. Say your stomach isn't feeling well. Little white lie. Or eat the pizza, enjoy, and move on. It's only one meal.0
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If I know there's likely nothing I can eat, I eat before I go. If that's not an option, I make the best of it. I have to avoid gluten, but I have eaten the toppings off of a pizza before in a pinch.0
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I can totally relate - my husband's family gets really offended if people don't eat what is served, or if have what they consider to be unusual dietary restrictions - my sister was a vegetarian and didn't eat dairy when they hosted the rehearsal dinner and they still hold a grudge 10 years later (their actually really nice people - I promise. Just a little strange about this). I usually eat something before hand, bring a few paleo/primal friendly side dishes or munchies to share, then eat a little bit of whatever is served. I may feel a little "off" for a day but then I am back to normal - fortunately, I eat primal by choice, not necessity. Hopefully people are a little more understanding when someone has health reasons for avoiding certain foods, but people get pretty crazy about what others eat for some reason! :laugh:0
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I have been through this so many times! I totally get the frustration....my answer.......
Big Fat Lie!!.....(although hubby has to go along with it) tell them "food allergies" or some form of that.
Or if you think they might at all be able to comprehend, tell them you gotta go easy on the grains, etc (and define what those are...pizza crusts) because they make you feel sick at your stomach and give you diarrhea....
Surely if you pull the mom or sister aside, they can understand.
This may also be part of growing as an "emotional" eater...so often we are afraid to express our needs as so we cave. :noway:
THEN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> offer to bring something to share!
ALSO, see this post I did awhile ago, lots of good suggestions!
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/770349-it-was-a-paleo-dinner-nightmare?hl=paleo+nightmare#posts-11440770
Good Luck and stay strong! You need NOT eat yucky food! :drinker:0 -
Just bring your own food - that's what I do. Not in the whole "anti-social, no-fun" kinda way, but bring a big old plate or to of Paleo/Primal goodies that EVERYONE can enjoy. People generally bring plates to parties, anyway. Then just fill up on them while you're there.0
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I always find out what is being served, if possible. I just say I want to bring a little something that will compliment what is being served, and that I have certain dietary needs. I bring whatever I want to eat, and extra to share. If that isn't possible, I eat before I go. But I'm honest with people about why I do not eat certain foods.
All of my friends know I'm losing weight, so they totally understand. And since so many folks are gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, organic these days, they don't say anything. I think it would be rude if they did! I tell folks about Paleo, and that I have chosen this route as I feel better and am having success. Why not get the word out?
I'm sorry you have folks who give you grief about what you eat. But don't eat pizza if you don't want to! Why?0 -
I don't think it's out of line at all to ask what foods will be served.
I follow paleo because it closely matches the "diet" you should follow to minimize psoriasis. I typically ask what foods will be there and if I need to, I either bring my own food, or eat ahead of time then bring a veggie tray for something to snack on to avoid temptation.0 -
I will usually ask what is on the menu - that way I can make a decision about eating before hand or sampling what they have available....for some things I don't mind eating something non-paleo on those rare occassions but other things not worth it.
If it is something like a potluck or I can bring something - I will usually bring along a Paleo friendly dish. The last family gathering they were doing grilled chicken, food platters and lots of deserts - chicken is good, along with some veggies from the veggie tray and I brought a Sweet Potatoe Brownie to add to the deserts so I could have some sweet stuff.0 -
Just ask and say you'll bring a side of something that you can eat, and that other will enjoy
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Yes, I would eat before I went and also offer to bring a side that is appropriate for me to eat.
I am struggling with this myself because those options won't work for me for Thanksgiving (we are traveling so no cooking possible. *sigh*)0 -
The pizza was served, but I spoke with my sister in law ahead of time. She was fully supportive of my dietary choices and invited me to enjoy the salad she was serving and to bring something with me that I would like. I brought a piece of leftover fish and grilled veggies. I politely declined birthday cake and nobody seemed to pay much attention. Success!0
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That is a tough one, I would eat a meal before you go so you aren't starving while you're there. I would also be prepared to eat a sliver of pizza (if that's the menu item) to appease the evil spirits :P That way it's not much harm done to your diet and you can avoid an awkward social situation. Or just tell them that you're avoiding gluten, sometimes honesty is the best policy (or will at least get them to leave it alone)
I agree that honesty is the best policy--especially with close friends or family. If this is a change you are going to stick with, you don't want to spend the rest of your life telling "white lies" or sneaking a meal in first. I like what someone else suggested about asking what's served so you can bring a side/something that "compliments" the main dish. That's what I usually try to do. And if you can't find out what they're serving, just bring something you will be happy with that you can share.
I think if you emphasize that you are making these changes for your HEALTH, only a real jerk would make a fuss about it.
And you're right, you don't have to come up with excuses for any of this or defend yourself. Just politely declining food offered to you is enough. Or, if you want to have a little pizza or cake, have some!0 -
Tell em dairy and grains give you diarrhea lol... no one ever questions diarrhea... this also works if you want to call in sick without any follow up questions lol...
But also bring a dish.. something awesome like bacon wrapped dates, or prosciutto wrapped asparagus, you will look super fancy 0
