i'd find it sad if "nice" guys weren't a type of bully themselves. these are the guys who are usually secretly misogynists, so eff em :grumble:

That is a good point as well.

I think a lot of the posts that were made didn't have enough info to actually make that assertion. Sometimes she just took a picture and added the part where they claim to be a nice guy. So what? Big deal. If you have a problem with an individual then call them on it, interact with them... this is just mean.

The nice guys blog gave me deja-vu of going through my OKC matches. So many nice guys! I think her posting of their pictures and excerpts from their profiles is a little bit mean, but she does have a couple good points: 1. being nice is expected as part of human decency and it's not a quality we are looking for on a profile of why we'd want to date someone and 2. many of those guys really aren't all that nice.

My own experience is that most of the men stating how nice they were and how they know how to treat a lady had things in the profile that showed they are actually bitter, very negative and feel entitled. These things are such a turn off. I'm sure they believe they don't get any responses on OKC because women don't want a nice guy. One guy messaged me who had a profile that was dripping with venom for women who didn't appreciate how nice he was. It was more like a rant than a profile. I actually responded to him that I wasn't interested and let him know how negative I thought his profile was (his message to me was ironically telling me how refreshing my profile was compared to all the women's profiles he reads that are the counterpart to his own) - I'm sure he probably dismissed what I said by discounting the messenger, per the Cracked article.

I found it interesting that many of these self-proclaimed nice guys are saying no woman would ever give them a chance, yet they have high expectations of women (must always keep their legs shaved). It reminded me of a doctor that I saw on OKC (he messaged me also) who had in his questions that it isn't okay to fart in front of your partner. I was shocked that someone who is a medical doctor wouldn't accept bodily functions as normal and holds people to some standard of perfection that most humans can't live up to, certainly not if you spend a significant amount of time together (like an entire weekend that maybe includes Mexican food) or as you get older and the body ages. The funny thing is some of those "nice guys" expecting women to always have their legs shaved don't look like the type to always be perfectly groomed or to be working out to keep their bodies fit - they seem to be holding women to a higher standard.

Don't get me wrong. There are a lot of great guys in the world! Many already taken, some still single! Genuinely nice people don't brag. I just believe that if someone is blowing his own horn about how nice he is, he's probably not that nice (same for women too).

Nobody like a doormat.

Also this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

I just loved this! Thanks for posting it!

Sales people have a saying, "don't over sell a sale." I think most ladies are content in the early stages knowing you're a "good guy" and all the excess niceness is just oversell, genuine or not.

Sales people have a saying, "don't over sell a sale." I think most ladies are content in the early stages knowing you're a "good guy" and all the excess niceness is just oversell, genuine or not.

True, and I also think sometimes it comes across as a "woe is me" attitude when overplayed.

I went out with one guy a few times and he kept reminding me that he was a gentleman and a nice guy so he would pay for the dates. While I appreciated (and thanked him for) the dates, I didn't like the way he needed to keep reminding me of that. It felt very much like a martyr attitude and a total oversell.

5) there were several really nice guys in the bar who could stand up for themselves and were not doormats. The problem with a lot of these guys was that they were not the dominant alpha male type. They wouldn't approach women in the bar because they felt that the women didn't want to be approached. These guys were well aware (or had the impression) that bars are meat markets and that women got hit on left and right. The general assumption was that women would prefer to be left alone than to have another guy harrassing them.

too bad for those guys who think this because this isnt really the case. when women go out to clubs are bars, we assume that were going to get on, even if that's not the immediate reason why we go. plus saying "hello, how are you?" is not harassing.

i think most of the women who complain do so because they dont appreciate how the guy approached. for instance one of the worst approaches is when a guy sees a girl who's in a group. he swoops in and immediately tries to isolate the girl so he can mack on her. women do NOT appreciate this :laugh: her friends wont like it and odds are neither will she. the smaller the group, the less it will be appreciated. that's why it's essential to either have a wing man or be prepared to spend time talking to the entire group in order to flirt with the one you actually do want to speak to

BB has always been a nice guy, but he is not "A Nice Guy."

I don't like "bad boys" (no judgement on anyone who does :flowerforyou:) The #1 reason I went out with him a second time is that he was nice, respectful, gentlemanly without appearing to just be "acting that way to get in a girls pants."

He's not a wimp who agrees with you just to appease you. He carries himself confidently, can be quite decisive when needed, and a few times I've seen him open up a can on someone who deserved it (he's seen the same of me). Even during those moments, you get a sense that he's not being disrespectful or mean about it,that he still values the person he is chewing out (almost like he thinks this is helping them become a better person). He has never complained that he's a "nice guy" that women aren't into.

The guys who told me "I'm such a nice guy" usually turned out NOT to be nice. They actually tend to be like the ones described on that site... overinflated expectations of what a woman should be/do for them (or the type of women they "can get") while at the same time having a very low expectation of what they'll bring to the table.