Baby Showers & Registries!
mainesm
Posts: 107 Member
First shower in Dec 1. I get more and more excited everyday when I check my registers. Someone just got us our Pack n' Play!!! 
Who else does this?? lol
Who else does this?? lol
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Ohhhhh I check mine nearly every day...I did that with my bridal registries too. I'm too much of a planner to wait for surprises so I just HAVE to know! Plus, it helps to know what's already purchased so we can budget for the items we'll need to buy
At least that's how I justify it... 0 -
Oh FitMama I think we are one in the same. I've been checking it every day as well!!! I've also been updating it too It is way too exciting not too.
Ps I did the same thing with my Bridal as well.0 -
I tried not to but did peek. Sometimes I'd do it for practical reasons, though, because something would go on sale or I'd have an awesome coupon and wanted to buy something myself (perhaps somewhere other than where I registered) but needed to be sure no one had already bought it. That actually happened with our carseats, where I was about to buy one with a super awesome deal, but my in-laws bought one, and my parents bought the other (one for each car). So they saved me from spending
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Also, we do not have a registry this time, since it's our second. I don't expect a shower (or a "sprinkle"), especially since we are holding off on finding out the sex like we did last time. All of our stuff was gender-neutral the first time, so it's cool for this baby regardless of what s/he is. The only things we need in addition to what we already have are new convertible car seats, which of course are ridiculously expensive. I even checked out cheaper ones on Consumer Reports, and for the $30 I'll save per car seat, it's not worth the crappier ratings. So we'll just spend $$$ on new ones of the same type we already have :grumble: At least I have time to shop to get the best deals (I'm all of 13w now, plus we'll use the infant carrier for the first six months or so - so I basically have a year to work on it and spread the cost of two seats out).0
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I totally did that! But most people didn't buy until the very end 0
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I totally did that! But most people didn't buy until the very end
Agreed, most people don't buy until right before your shower or right before you have the baby (sometimes right after, too)!0 -
I noticed that with my bridal shower, not one really bought until right before. Happy to say though, four more things were bought today bahahaha 0
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Shower is this Saturday! So so so excited!!! Still checking my registries non-stop. LOL0
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Have a great shower this weekend!0
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Ok, so I don't want to start a new thread for shower/registry etiquette but I'm wondering if any of you have input.
With social media and everything being online there are so many places to register and what not. I registered at babies r' us and Walmart. My thing is, I registered for cloth diapers which are not cheapest at either of these places and I'm not entirely picky about brand. Is it rude to put a little blerb on Facebook saying "I know invites are going out for my showers soon I want you all to know, I registerd for cloth diapers...they can be found cheaper at clothbabies.com; I just wanted to give everyone an idea of what we are looking for. Please don't feel restricted to the specific diapers we registered for." or is that being pretentious? Or is is leaving things too open?
With the bridal shower I wanted specific things but with the baby, aside from big things, I don't really care about the specifics. I wish I could just say put the stroller, bottles, lotion, crib and those type of things on the registry and then say "I want bright colors for the bedding, some gowns, cloth diapers and would prefer zippered outfits rather than snaps"...but I feel like that won't fly. What do you all think?
Also, Mainesm: how was the shower? Did you get a lot of great things? do you have any other showers coming up? (you said my "first" shower is this month so I assume there's going to be more than one) SO FUN!0 -
I check mine daily... Yeah... I'm weird like that.0
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I check mine daily too, God bless Amazon.com! My shower is this upcoming Saturday 1/5 and I'm so excited... I've been feeling really anxious lately so getting new stuff and putting it together, laundry, etc. will give me something to do to fulfill my nesting urges.0
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With social media and everything being online there are so many places to register and what not. I registered at babies r' us and Walmart. My thing is, I registered for cloth diapers which are not cheapest at either of these places and I'm not entirely picky about brand. Is it rude to put a little blerb on Facebook saying "I know invites are going out for my showers soon I want you all to know, I registerd for cloth diapers...they can be found cheaper at clothbabies.com; I just wanted to give everyone an idea of what we are looking for. Please don't feel restricted to the specific diapers we registered for." or is that being pretentious? Or is is leaving things too open?
I don't think this is rude at all. We are CDing also and I purchased some things to have on hand that I have already prepped, but I am opposite of you, I'm picky about the diapers. I registered for the specific kinds I wanted and a couple people have purchased so far. I have also been trying to remind people that we aren't using disposables but I know we'll inevitably get some anyway. One of my friends had two registries and had a description on there to just use them for "ideas", similar to what you're talking about.0 -
Ok, so I don't want to start a new thread for shower/registry etiquette but I'm wondering if any of you have input.
With social media and everything being online there are so many places to register and what not. I registered at babies r' us and Walmart. My thing is, I registered for cloth diapers which are not cheapest at either of these places and I'm not entirely picky about brand. Is it rude to put a little blerb on Facebook saying "I know invites are going out for my showers soon I want you all to know, I registerd for cloth diapers...they can be found cheaper at clothbabies.com; I just wanted to give everyone an idea of what we are looking for. Please don't feel restricted to the specific diapers we registered for." or is that being pretentious? Or is is leaving things too open?
With the bridal shower I wanted specific things but with the baby, aside from big things, I don't really care about the specifics. I wish I could just say put the stroller, bottles, lotion, crib and those type of things on the registry and then say "I want bright colors for the bedding, some gowns, cloth diapers and would prefer zippered outfits rather than snaps"...but I feel like that won't fly. What do you all think?
Registries are a hot topic in the etiquette world and are technically a faux pas, but even the strictest etiquette mavens have accepted them as a fact of life when a shower is on the horizon, since most people have no idea what to buy otherwise. To me they are more of a guide as to what you can buy rather than a mandate as to what you must buy. (This does not include "registry" websites for money, which I don't like.)
However, etiquette-wise, you are not supposed to include registry information in shower invitations or "advertise" it elsewhere. If people ask where you are registered, that's one thing, but "registry cards" that some of these stores push you to include in your invitations are considered gauche. (Most people know to look/ask at BRU anyway.) As such, including a note (or posting one on Facebook) saying that the cloth diapers on your registry are cheaper elsewhere would probably not be smiled upon by the goddesses of etiquette because it might sound like you are dictating where they buy so that you can get the most gifts for their money, even though you are well-meaning.
Having bought gifts for plenty of friends' and family members' baby showers, what I do is look at their registry to get an idea of what they are looking for and then buy elsewhere if I can get cheaper elsewhere. For example, my SIL registered at Target and BRU for, among other things, Avent bottles. They were SO much cheaper on Amazon, plus I had free two-day shipping at the time, so I ordered them from there and was able to buy a large quantity. (I did get her other things, too, but the price difference was HUGE, and having just had a baby I knew that having enough bottles is crucial.) I know that because I shopped elsewhere, the bottles weren't "deducted" from her registries, but I figured that if someone else bought her more bottles that she didn't need, she could exchange them for something else. (As for me, when I got gifts that were not "deducted" from my registry, I amended it manually.)
In my mind, that's just smart shopping. The people who will think cloth diapers are the coolest and will want to buy them for you are probably savvy enough to check out if they can get them cheaper elsewhere. If it comes up in conversation that the diapers are cheaper elsewhere, go ahead and mention it, but I wouldn't post a note about it or anything.
Edited to reply to the last point - just register for some things you would like that you're not specific about. Like you, I was specific about big things like car seats, but when it came to the little things, I didn't care that much. I registered for random onesies and outfits I would have liked to receive but didn't care if I didn't get. Most people buying those things buy what they think is a good gift anyway, and sometimes you get parents of young kids who buy you something you didn't know about that turns out to be awesome. (That's how I found out how awesome sleep gowns were, even though I had a boy!)0 -
Ok, so I don't want to start a new thread for shower/registry etiquette but I'm wondering if any of you have input.
With social media and everything being online there are so many places to register and what not. I registered at babies r' us and Walmart. My thing is, I registered for cloth diapers which are not cheapest at either of these places and I'm not entirely picky about brand. Is it rude to put a little blerb on Facebook saying "I know invites are going out for my showers soon I want you all to know, I registerd for cloth diapers...they can be found cheaper at clothbabies.com; I just wanted to give everyone an idea of what we are looking for. Please don't feel restricted to the specific diapers we registered for." or is that being pretentious? Or is is leaving things too open?
With the bridal shower I wanted specific things but with the baby, aside from big things, I don't really care about the specifics. I wish I could just say put the stroller, bottles, lotion, crib and those type of things on the registry and then say "I want bright colors for the bedding, some gowns, cloth diapers and would prefer zippered outfits rather than snaps"...but I feel like that won't fly. What do you all think?
Registries are a hot topic in the etiquette world and are technically a faux pas, but even the strictest etiquette mavens have accepted them as a fact of life when a shower is on the horizon, since most people have no idea what to buy otherwise. To me they are more of a guide as to what you can buy rather than a mandate as to what you must buy. (This does not include "registry" websites for money, which I don't like.)
However, etiquette-wise, you are not supposed to include registry information in shower invitations or "advertise" it elsewhere. If people ask where you are registered, that's one thing, but "registry cards" that some of these stores push you to include in your invitations are considered gauche. (Most people know to look/ask at BRU anyway.) As such, including a note (or posting one on Facebook) saying that the cloth diapers on your registry are cheaper elsewhere would probably not be smiled upon by the goddesses of etiquette because it might sound like you are dictating where they buy so that you can get the most gifts for their money, even though you are well-meaning.
Having bought gifts for plenty of friends' and family members' baby showers, what I do is look at their registry to get an idea of what they are looking for and then buy elsewhere if I can get cheaper elsewhere. For example, my SIL registered at Target and BRU for, among other things, Avent bottles. They were SO much cheaper on Amazon, plus I had free two-day shipping at the time, so I ordered them from there and was able to buy a large quantity. (I did get her other things, too, but the price difference was HUGE, and having just had a baby I knew that having enough bottles is crucial.) I know that because I shopped elsewhere, the bottles weren't "deducted" from her registries, but I figured that if someone else bought her more bottles that she didn't need, she could exchange them for something else. (As for me, when I got gifts that were not "deducted" from my registry, I amended it manually.)
In my mind, that's just smart shopping. The people who will think cloth diapers are the coolest and will want to buy them for you are probably savvy enough to check out if they can get them cheaper elsewhere. If it comes up in conversation that the diapers are cheaper elsewhere, go ahead and mention it, but I wouldn't post a note about it or anything.
Edited to reply to the last point - just register for some things you would like that you're not specific about. Like you, I was specific about big things like car seats, but when it came to the little things, I didn't care that much. I registered for random onesies and outfits I would have liked to receive but didn't care if I didn't get. Most people buying those things buy what they think is a good gift anyway, and sometimes you get parents of young kids who buy you something you didn't know about that turns out to be awesome. (That's how I found out how awesome sleep gowns were, even though I had a boy!)
Wow I didn't know any of this etiquette stuff and guess I behaved like a total douche, LOL!0 -
On the etiquette issue, I always thought registries were tacky until I got married and had to manage 200 people asking what we wanted. Then, it became a godsend.
They can be extremely useful, but to me, it is critical to not ask for things you know your family and friends can't afford. THAT is tacky.0 -
They can be extremely useful, but to me, it is critical to not ask for things you know your family and friends can't afford. THAT is tacky.
Agreed. We had a couple bigger items on there (monitor and crib mattress) and everything else was in the moderate to low price range, lots of little things that are still necessary. We also bought our swing, playpen, carseat and stroller on our own because they're more expensive and we also wanted to have them ASAP just in case of anything happening or the baby coming early.0 -
On the etiquette issue, I always thought registries were tacky until I got married and had to manage 200 people asking what we wanted. Then, it became a godsend.
They can be extremely useful, but to me, it is critical to not ask for things you know your family and friends can't afford. THAT is tacky.
I totally agree! I didn't mean to say that I thought they were bad etiquette, but they can be. It's one thing to put a bunch of stuff on there that people can afford (and no one demands that only gifts off the registry are acceptable), but it's an entirely different thing to put a bunch of pricey stuff on there and demand it!
The only expensive thing we had on there was our convertible car seats, but that's because we knew my parents wanted to buy one and my in-laws wanted to buy the other. That way they knew which ones we wanted and could kind of keep their purchase a surprise. I hardly expected anyone else to spend nearly that much! (Our crib is borrowed, and our other baby furniture came off Craigslist.)0 -
They can be extremely useful, but to me, it is critical to not ask for things you know your family and friends can't afford. THAT is tacky.
Agreed. We had a couple bigger items on there (monitor and crib mattress) and everything else was in the moderate to low price range, lots of little things that are still necessary. We also bought our swing, playpen, carseat and stroller on our own because they're more expensive and we also wanted to have them ASAP just in case of anything happening or the baby coming early.
^See, not douche-y 0 -
They can be extremely useful, but to me, it is critical to not ask for things you know your family and friends can't afford. THAT is tacky.
Agreed. We had a couple bigger items on there (monitor and crib mattress) and everything else was in the moderate to low price range, lots of little things that are still necessary. We also bought our swing, playpen, carseat and stroller on our own because they're more expensive and we also wanted to have them ASAP just in case of anything happening or the baby coming early.
We did the same thing.
Hubs and I are fortunate enough in our income to afford whatever we needed, so we only put a few of the "big ticket" items up on the registry since our families are definitely not in any situation to buy them, and nothing was >$100. We bought our carseat with two bases, pack and play, and the big furniture items ourselves and let our family do the smaller items that we needed. I'm really glad we did it this way too.0 -
On the etiquette issue, I always thought registries were tacky until I got married and had to manage 200 people asking what we wanted. Then, it became a godsend.
They can be extremely useful, but to me, it is critical to not ask for things you know your family and friends can't afford. THAT is tacky.
I totally agree! I didn't mean to say that I thought they were bad etiquette, but they can be. It's one thing to put a bunch of stuff on there that people can afford (and no one demands that only gifts off the registry are acceptable), but it's an entirely different thing to put a bunch of pricey stuff on there and demand it!
The only expensive thing we had on there was our convertible car seats, but that's because we knew my parents wanted to buy one and my in-laws wanted to buy the other. That way they knew which ones we wanted and could kind of keep their purchase a surprise. I hardly expected anyone else to spend nearly that much! (Our crib is borrowed, and our other baby furniture came off Craigslist.)
Wedding registries tend to be far more "demanding" than baby ones I've found. I have been to a couple of weddings where the registry was just ridiculous given that most of the attendees were average-income people. That always pissed me off too. Haven't seen that as much with baby registries.0 -
Also, Mainesm: how was the shower? Did you get a lot of great things? do you have any other showers coming up? (you said my "first" shower is this month so I assume there's going to be more than one) SO FUN!
My shower was good and I got a lot of stuff and a lot of repeats (a ton of bath stuff). My second shower I got lots of clothes!!! Big sizes too!!!
I have one more shower at work. I am not expecting anything big, just a small get together with my close co-workers and cupcakes!!!
My mom and I went to finish up buying things before baby. I couldn't believe after two shower how much stuff I still needed. My hubby and I need just a few more things, but he wanted me to wait on these last minute items so he could help pick them out. I hope to go next week with him. Babies babies babies!!! 0 -
Guess I'm tacky LOL...I asked a few other people about the FB thing and they said they don't think it's tacky they would enjoy the extra input shopping (especially since no one in our area cloth diapers but everyone seems to like buying diapers for showers). If I offended a few people, oops....I also think there is a difference from Coast to Coast. Wish my wedding my bestie (from NJ) was appauled that I didn't have welcome baskets at the hotels or a breakfast the next day, my CA friends and family had never even heard of that. Of course my friend, the ettiquette maven, is the one throwing th shower lol0
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Guess I'm tacky LOL...I asked a few other people about the FB thing and they said they don't think it's tacky they would enjoy the extra input shopping (especially since no one in our area cloth diapers but everyone seems to like buying diapers for showers). If I offended a few people, oops....I also think there is a difference from Coast to Coast. Wish my wedding my bestie (from NJ) was appauled that I didn't have welcome baskets at the hotels or a breakfast the next day, my CA friends and family had never even heard of that. Of course my friend, the ettiquette maven, is the one throwing th shower lol
Nah, I wouldn't say you're tacky - it's just so different from person to person, and I thought I'd offer the "official" etiquette perspective. If your friends aren't offended, then go for it. Stuff is DEFINITELY different around the country. I am from NJ but live in the South now, which is where my husband is from and where we got married. We had a groom's cake at our wedding, along with a traditional wedding cake (though the groom's cake kicked the wedding cake's a**). Prior to our wedding planning I had no freaking idea what a groom's cake was (even though I'd seen Steel Magnolias a million times). I knew about the gift bags for out-of-town guests at your chosen hotel(s), so I did that (my husband had never heard of it, but then again he's a guy), but I don't think it's a must-do. I've only ever been to one wedding with a breakfast the next day, but I thought that was because it was a tradition where the bride was from (upstate NY). My dad planned one for mine, but we did not make an appearance because we had left early that morning for our honeymoon. He was disappointed when I told him long beforehand that we wouldn't be going, but I told him, "Unless you want breakfast at 6AM and we will be gone by 7AM, we won't be there." I guess it made sense given that these were travel plans that had been in place for much longer. Apparently some guests were disappointed not to see us (I mean, seriously, are they on the lookout for post-coital glow or something?), but when I later explained that we had to go early, they understood.
Something I learned with my wedding that holds true with baby showers and throughout life in general - no matter what you do, *someone* will always be offended!
Edited - I can't write English good0 -
Also, Mainesm: how was the shower? Did you get a lot of great things? do you have any other showers coming up? (you said my "first" shower is this month so I assume there's going to be more than one) SO FUN!
My shower was good and I got a lot of stuff and a lot of repeats (a ton of bath stuff). My second shower I got lots of clothes!!! Big sizes too!!!
I have one more shower at work. I am not expecting anything big, just a small get together with my close co-workers and cupcakes!!!
My mom and I went to finish up buying things before baby. I couldn't believe after two shower how much stuff I still needed. My hubby and I need just a few more things, but he wanted me to wait on these last minute items so he could help pick them out. I hope to go next week with him. Babies babies babies!!!
I feel like there tends to be an abundance of bath stuff at showers! The good thing is it's easy to return and get something else It's nice you go some big sizes too. My sis has 3 girls, my high school bestie has 2, and my pastor has 4, so we will be set on hand-me-downs I'm glad to know that regardless of what we receive in clothes department we still wont need to purchase anything.
I wish my mom was closer so she can I could do a baby shopping trip after the shower. She's doing a shower for me next week in CA but I know my friend and church are both going to host showers here in NJ so there's no point in purchasing anything until after those.
When are you due?0 -
Emily Post aside, I think its good to have a wide variety of stuff on a simple registry. Where $50-$100 is pricey to some, its a drop in the hat to others and I don't really see a problem with a generous wealthier person wanting to buy me a larger ticket item. I am just as grateful for a friend who buys me a cute outfit or knits me a precious hat. Its all relative.0
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Guess I'm tacky LOL...I asked a few other people about the FB thing and they said they don't think it's tacky they would enjoy the extra input shopping (especially since no one in our area cloth diapers but everyone seems to like buying diapers for showers). If I offended a few people, oops....I also think there is a difference from Coast to Coast. Wish my wedding my bestie (from NJ) was appauled that I didn't have welcome baskets at the hotels or a breakfast the next day, my CA friends and family had never even heard of that. Of course my friend, the ettiquette maven, is the one throwing th shower lol
Not tacky at all 0 -
Emily Post aside, I think its good to have a wide variety of stuff on a simple registry. Where $50-$100 is pricey to some, its a drop in the hat to others and I don't really see a problem with a generous wealthier person wanting to buy me a larger ticket item. I am just as grateful for a friend who buys me a cute outfit or knits me a precious hat. Its all relative.
I don't think anyone was saying otherwise. The complaint I have is when most of the registry is beyond the means of most of the guests. I think it's nice to have a few high-ticket items if you know some people are more able and interested in buying those things for sure.0 -
Yeah, that'd suck for sure, but honestly if someones registry was full of stuff I couldn't afford I wouldn't be offended. I would just buy a gift card towards a pricier item or ask a fellow shower attendee to go halfsies with me. I'm hard to offend and pretty easy to get along with though!
Edit: Not sayin' y'all aren't, just realized that sounded meanie.0 -
Yeah, that'd suck for sure, but honestly if someones registry was full of stuff I couldn't afford I wouldn't be offended. I would just buy a gift card towards a pricier item or ask a fellow shower attendee to go halfsies with me. I'm hard to offend and pretty easy to get along with though!
Edit: Not sayin' y'all aren't, just realized that sounded meanie.
I love to either go in together with people on a big-ticket item that probably won't be purchased otherwise (like my cousin's crib or my friend's infant carrier/car seat), or I like to hold off for a while and then complete a set of something
However, if everything was too expensive and I couldn't split the cost with another guest, I'd just go rogue. Some of the neatest gifts I got were not on my registry, like sleep gowns, which I discovered were truly awesome! I was mildly sad when my son outgrew them.0
