Do Men Settle When They Choose Their Partners Online?
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Damn. I don't get to the thread until the afternoon and the subject changes to who would make a good looking couple.
It is the Seven Seconds or Less principle. Seven Seconds or Less was the title of a book about the 2005-06 Phoenix Suns and how they played at a fast pace relative to the NBA as a whole at that time.
There is nothing that would make sense about Mike and Kit as a couple.
I dont know we could sell it to pay-per-view and take the rest of the peeps on a vacation while they recover in the hospital after trying to killing each other. Bet it would make for awesome tv lol
Oh yeah! We would all be sitting pretty on the beach with margaritas and reaping in our money from that one!
The smart ones bet on me, muahaha0 -
A thought that has been bouncing around my mind lately is that men settle when they choose their partners online. I have observed a number of instances when a man gets partner from an online dating site, he is moderately to significantly better looking than she is. Why is that? And is my observation isolated, or part of a broader trend?
. Do you think Samantha Steele ever had to use Match.com or other sites like that? I think not. Guys consider Steele a top prospect,
Sorry, don't have time to read all the answers but this is my take:
In answer to your first question posed, no. Seems to me that women are better looking than the men online, and when coupled up, the woman is the hottie.
And why on earth would Samantha Steele even be used as an example? She's in the public eye. Most people on dating sites are not, and the one male friend I do have in the "public eye" that used a dating site only got hit on by strippers......0 -
Just thought of something else as I did just take a minute to quickly read everyone's posts on this.
Interestingly, I was on a dating site once (same time my friend was) and did a little "experiment"...
I put up pictures (and no, I'm not horsefaced, thanks) and a profile that said I was a professional (true), was educated (true), blah blah blah, right? NONE of the pictures were revealing. NONE. Why? Guess I'm not a floozie and didn't want that impression to be made.
I got quite a few responses but of course over time they dwindle down when your profile isn't so "new"....
So I changed it up.
I put up more pictures... this time making my PROFILE picture of me in a bikini. I also deleted much of my "assets" as listed on my profile.... and hit save......
I was never so bombarded with men sending me messages. Mind you, these guys had probably stumbled on my profile before and passed it by. The second they saw skin, they wrote. They didn't even READ the profile!!! I even wrote at the bottom of the profile, "Before you send me a message, please let me know you actually READ what I wrote up there" (which was maybe three sentences)
Out of the 130+ messages my "bikini pic" received in two days or so, I would say maybe 11 said they read what I wrote.....
Social experiment 101. It was quite eye-opening. Guys weren't interested in talking to the smart pretty girl. They wanted to talk to a girl whose personality they had no clue about - as long as she was in the bikini......0 -
Yep.Interestingly, I was on a dating site once (same time my friend was) and did a little "experiment"...
I put up pictures (and no, I'm not horsefaced, thanks) and a profile that said I was a professional (true), was educated (true), blah blah blah, right? NONE of the pictures were revealing. NONE. Why? Guess I'm not a floozie and didn't want that impression to be made.
I got quite a few responses but of course over time they dwindle down when your profile isn't so "new"....
So I changed it up.
I put up more pictures... this time making my PROFILE picture of me in a bikini. I also deleted much of my "assets" as listed on my profile.... and hit save......
I was never so bombarded with men sending me messages. Mind you, these guys had probably stumbled on my profile before and passed it by. The second they saw skin, they wrote. They didn't even READ the profile!!! I even wrote at the bottom of the profile, "Before you send me a message, please let me know you actually READ what I wrote up there" (which was maybe three sentences)
Out of the 130+ messages my "bikini pic" received in two days or so, I would say maybe 11 said they read what I wrote.....
Social experiment 101. It was quite eye-opening. Guys weren't interested in talking to the smart pretty girl. They wanted to talk to a girl whose personality they had no clue about - as long as she was in the bikini......
Let's put it this way though:
- Most guys are interested in sex without the accompanying LTR (95%, a number I pulled out of my *kitten*),
- Many guys are interested in a potential LTR (maybe 40-60%, I pulled this one out of my nostril),
- Out of these guys interested in a potential LTR, a smaller percentage (10%) will be compatible with what your profile says.
So yes. It is harder to find a man compatible with you than finding a man who wants to have sex with you.
By what I mean:
I'm not sure those guys that contacted you when you added the bikini picture were interested in >>talking<< to the girl whose personality they had no clue about. I think they had something else in mind.
Something you might or might not be interested in, but this might have been the signal these people received!
I'd say putting up a bikini picture is counterproductive ultimately if you are interested in a LTR, even though you get a lot more replies... The problem is you get a lot more background noise and even though your "one" might be in the 95%, it's now like finding a needle in a haystack.0 -
I don't understand why a man (or a woman, for that matter, because I don't see why it would be any different) would be more inclined to settle merely because they met a person online as opposed to some other way. I also agree with some of the others above that I see way more attractive women on online dating sites than men -- at least in the 30s/40s age bracket.0
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Social experiment 101. It was quite eye-opening. Guys weren't interested in talking to the smart pretty girl. They wanted to talk to a girl whose personality they had no clue about - as long as she was in the bikini......
This is surprising how? That is the essence of men.0 -
Social experiment 101. It was quite eye-opening. Guys weren't interested in talking to the smart pretty girl. They wanted to talk to a girl whose personality they had no clue about - as long as she was in the bikini......
This is surprising how? That is the essence of men.
Listen, I'm no dummy. I know men are visual.
However some are visual AND are mature enough to want more than just that at this age.
I just want one that wants more substance, so I kept my profile full of substance.
Well - that and pictures that showed I wasn't a horse face and/or body (four legs apparently are a turn off). LOL
What cracks me up is the men that usually have hit on me on those sites are about 40lbs heavier and 10 years older than they claim.... yet if a GIRL were to DARE do that on a site, the man would skeedaddle so fast.....
Most on those sites, are in fact, douches.0 -
Women are doing this too.What cracks me up is the men that usually have hit on me on those sites are about 40lbs heavier and 10 years older than they claim.... yet if a GIRL were to DARE do that on a site, the man would skeedaddle so fast.....
Most on those sites, are in fact, douches.
Actually... Let me revise that statement. Technically women aren't "lying" as such when they are taking a picture (by chance!) from an advantageous angle that makes them look 40lbs lighter and wear so much make up (coincidentally) that they look 10 years younger than they actually are. This also happens to be the only picture they have available of themselves.
Women aren't lying... It is just that an unfortunate (or fortunate?) chain of events made this happen. :laugh:0 -
Just thought of something else as I did just take a minute to quickly read everyone's posts on this.
Interestingly, I was on a dating site once (same time my friend was) and did a little "experiment"...
I put up pictures (and no, I'm not horsefaced, thanks) and a profile that said I was a professional (true), was educated (true), blah blah blah, right? NONE of the pictures were revealing. NONE. Why? Guess I'm not a floozie and didn't want that impression to be made.
I got quite a few responses but of course over time they dwindle down when your profile isn't so "new"....
So I changed it up.
I put up more pictures... this time making my PROFILE picture of me in a bikini. I also deleted much of my "assets" as listed on my profile.... and hit save......
I was never so bombarded with men sending me messages. Mind you, these guys had probably stumbled on my profile before and passed it by. The second they saw skin, they wrote. They didn't even READ the profile!!! I even wrote at the bottom of the profile, "Before you send me a message, please let me know you actually READ what I wrote up there" (which was maybe three sentences)
Out of the 130+ messages my "bikini pic" received in two days or so, I would say maybe 11 said they read what I wrote.....
Social experiment 101. It was quite eye-opening. Guys weren't interested in talking to the smart pretty girl. They wanted to talk to a girl whose personality they had no clue about - as long as she was in the bikini......
First of all, men don't read profiles. They look at the pictures and decide if they want to e-mail or not. A woman in a bikini is much more of an attention grabber than someone who's fully cloths. That's why you got more e-mails.0 -
so, men what you suggest as the ideal pictures to post?
ones alone? ones with friends? ones where you're out doing something? only bathing suit shots?
which are the pics that get your attention? or is it ONLY the face of the person you look at??0 -
so, men what you suggest as the ideal pictures to post?
ones alone? ones with friends? ones where you're out doing something? only bathing suit shots?
which are the pics that get your attention? or is it ONLY the face of the person you look at??
Bathing suit pictures are attention grabbers, but definitely not needed. As long as it's a full body shot w/ a nice smile, that'll more than suffice. No need to action shots of you skiing, snowboarding, surfing, etc. And definitely no pictures of the a sunset, flowers, or any crap like that.
Some people will be deterred by a picture with you and a guy. Personally, I don't think it's a big deal at all. That wouldn't stop me from contacting anyone.0 -
I would much rather have quality than quantity. My profile contained a bit of substance. I've learned to keep it shorter, but still give enough info to make him want more. There were usually 4-5 pictures with at least 2 being full body, modestly dressed (so he could see my body type wasn't a lie) and at least one being a close up since a lot of men comment on my eyes. No boob shots, no bikini shots. In my last profile, I included one of my mud run pics, because some men have issues with women that run obstacle races and I wanted my cards on the table. I didn't get as many emails as I used to when I posted the boob shots, but I was talking with much better quality men.0
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so, men what you suggest as the ideal pictures to post?
ones alone? ones with friends? ones where you're out doing something? only bathing suit shots?
which are the pics that get your attention? or is it ONLY the face of the person you look at??
My bf, who I met online, told me that I should have posted more pics of me smiling. However, he still messaged me, along with other guys. He said I looked mysterious...
It depends on what kind of guys you are trying to attract.0 -
Alone. Or I will ask for your friend's number.ones alone? ones with friends?
For "mostly sex messages" (and if your body can take it), bathing suit shots as your main picture.ones where you're out doing something? only bathing suit shots?
Otherwise: mostly "neutral/relaxed" shots (could be in a setting though - it doesn't have to be in front of a white background :laugh: ), and a few "action" shots if you want to... but no more than 2 action shots out of 5-6 pictures otherwise it screams "Hey! Look how cool I am and how exciting I want people to think my life is!" which is (most of the time) a complete lie if you haven't taken all these "actions shots" in the last two months.
If you like diving and climbing, one shot of each is fine out of 8 pictures (if you take POF as an example).
The rest should be more "neutral/relaxed" shots (bar setting, Xmas party, ...).
At least one full face shot (which I personally use as my main picture) and 1 or 2 full body shots (could be the ones in a "neutral/relaxed" setting).
To summarise:Which are the pics that get your attention? or is it ONLY the face of the person you look at??
so, men what you suggest as the ideal pictures to post?
- 1-2 face shot (funny or relaxed) I use the best one as my main,
- 2+ body shot (funny, dressed up, sexy or relaxed),
- 1-2 action shots (except if your only passion in life is climbing, in which case go for more),
- 1 silly picture
And:
- Rotate your main picture if you can
My logic:
Face normally gets my attention first (in the list of pictures with all the users), then I look at the full body shots, then activity shots to see if I have anything in common with the person.
If there are too many "action shots" I freak out a bit (am I going to be able to cope?).
I then proceed to contact the girl about the "silly picture" with a crappy joke.
The point of the silly picture is to get an easy/obvious conversation starter (for more information it's called peacocking, and it works usually quite well - http://dating.about.com/od/glossarywordspq/g/peacocking.htm).
It doesn't matter whether you've heard the same line about your "funny pic" a thousand times, your goal is to get contacted and to filter people once they have contacted you.
People feel more comfortable if they can initiate "sneakily" by making a joke and testing the waters.
Also contact people from time to time.0 -
In my last profile, I included one of my mud run pics, because some men have issues with women that run obstacle races and I wanted my cards on the table.
??????
I'm kinda missing how anyone can have issues with obstacle races. Smoking, ok. But obstacle races? It's like saying, "Lots of women have issues with my gardening, so I wanted my cards on the table..." Or "eating brocoli." Or "walking"...
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In my last profile, I included one of my mud run pics, because some men have issues with women that run obstacle races and I wanted my cards on the table.
??????
I'm kinda missing how anyone can have issues with obstacle races. Smoking, ok. But obstacle races? It's like saying, "Lots of women have issues with my gardening, so I wanted my cards on the table..." Or "eating brocoli." Or "walking"...
--P
I would -never- settle for a guy that ate broccoli.0 -
In my last profile, I included one of my mud run pics, because some men have issues with women that run obstacle races and I wanted my cards on the table.
??????
I'm kinda missing how anyone can have issues with obstacle races. Smoking, ok. But obstacle races? It's like saying, "Lots of women have issues with my gardening, so I wanted my cards on the table..." Or "eating brocoli." Or "walking"...
--P
LOL!! Actually, there are a lot of men that are turned off by this. There are quite a few in my area that prefer the "Southern Belle". The quite, soft spoken, always looks put together, never a scratch, never a flaw kind of barbie doll woman. They don't want a woman that they perceive to be tougher than them. While I do enjoy getting dolled up for work and going out, there is a side that likes to get dirty....I just make sure they are aware of this.0 -
I like broccoli. Good tasting and good for you.0
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Broccoli burps are not good on a date though.0
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While I do enjoy getting dolled up for work and going out, there is a side that likes to get dirty....I just make sure they are aware of this.
Duly noted.
--P0 -
While I do enjoy getting dolled up for work and going out, there is a side that likes to get dirty....I just make sure they are aware of this.
Duly noted.
--P
Hahaha.... I earned that one.0
This discussion has been closed.