Women...would this be a deal breaker?

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  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    4. How often does he get off on pics of his exes? If I'm in a relationship, I want to be the only woman he's thinking of.

    While you are quite attractive, I'm sorry to say all men think of other women, even when in a wonderful, committed, monogamous relationship. So don't take it personally.

    It's unrealistic to think your man will only be thinking of you. It's not typically the ex he's fantasizing about, however, if that makes you feel better. It's typically the neighbor, the co-worker, the flight attendant, the supermodel, the TV anchorwoman, your child's Spanish teacher, etc., etc., etc. It's a long list, I'll just stop there.

    --P

    Thank you Patrick. I know it's unrealistic to expect him not to think of other women. I do know men fantasize about other women, as we women fantasize about other men. BUT, I do not want to see the reality of what he's thinking about, because now I'm sizing it up against me.

    Completely agree. It's a bit disrespectful, actually, even though I realize the OP didn't mean it that way.

    If OP is a pic hoarder, great. But he needs to reorganize his albums. I'd suggest saving all nude pics into one folder entitled "Hydraulic Valve Quotes" or something of the like. Guaranteed that no woman will ever go there.

    --P
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member


    Completely agree. It's a bit disrespectful, actually, even though I realize the OP didn't mean it that way.

    If OP is a pic hoarder, great. But he needs to reorganize his albums. I'd suggest saving all nude pics into one folder entitled "Hydraulic Valve Quotes" or something of the like. Guaranteed that no woman will ever go there.

    --P

    lol, yeah, they're just all over in my pics folder cuz of just throwing everything in there. My bro had the unfortunate experience of seeing pics of my junk while looking for something on my PC the one day I wasn't home..lol.
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
    Completely agree. It's a bit disrespectful, actually, even though I realize the OP didn't mean it that way.

    If OP is a pic hoarder, great. But he needs to reorganize his albums. I'd suggest saving all nude pics into one folder entitled "Hydraulic Valve Quotes" or something of the like. Guaranteed that no woman will ever go there.

    --P

    LMFAO!! Yes, something auto related, but leave off the "quotes". Women are way to freaking nosey when it comes to anything that looks like money. I don't snoop, but when I was married, if I saw "quotes" for anything I'd be all over it trying to see what he was about to buy.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Completely agree. It's a bit disrespectful, actually, even though I realize the OP didn't mean it that way.

    If OP is a pic hoarder, great. But he needs to reorganize his albums. I'd suggest saving all nude pics into one folder entitled "Hydraulic Valve Quotes" or something of the like. Guaranteed that no woman will ever go there.

    --P

    LMFAO!! Yes, something auto related, but leave off the "quotes". Women are way to freaking nosey when it comes to anything that looks like money. I don't snoop, but when I was married, if I saw "quotes" for anything I'd be all over it trying to see what he was about to buy.

    "Video Game Cheat Codes"

    perfect.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    May I ask why you seem so against deleting them? She is your ex wife. You aren't married anymore, clearly for a reason. It's not like a family photo like Sam mentioned earlier.

    It is one thing if I saw the photos pop up. But if he was defensive, like "they're mine don't question them," that would be the deal breaker.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    May I ask why you seem so against deleting them? She is your ex wife. You aren't married anymore, clearly for a reason. It's not like a family photo like Sam mentioned earlier.

    It is one thing if I saw the photos pop up. But if he was defensive, like "they're mine don't question them," that would be the deal breaker.

    I'm not against it...if i lost them I wouldn't care but I know they're there and I don't throw stuff away. I still have my boxes from from stuff I bought in the 90's like my Sega systems and all that stuff...some stuff i just don't throw away.

    It's pics of any ex's that sent me pics/videos...just don't feel I have to delete them.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    May I ask why you seem so against deleting them? She is your ex wife. You aren't married anymore, clearly for a reason. It's not like a family photo like Sam mentioned earlier.

    It is one thing if I saw the photos pop up. But if he was defensive, like "they're mine don't question them," that would be the deal breaker.

    I'm not against it...if i lost them I wouldn't care but I know they're there and I don't throw stuff away. I still have my boxes from from stuff I bought in the 90's like my Sega systems and all that stuff...some stuff i just don't throw away.

    It's pics of any ex's that sent me pics/videos...just don't feel I have to delete them.

    No you don't have to...but if that girl said "those make me uncomfortable" what would you do?

    It's not that hard to right click and delete a photo is it? I don't mean to be rude but you should realize the vast majority of women aren't gonna be cool with those kind of photos. It makes it seem like you're still hung up on your ex.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    May I ask why you seem so against deleting them? She is your ex wife. You aren't married anymore, clearly for a reason. It's not like a family photo like Sam mentioned earlier.

    It is one thing if I saw the photos pop up. But if he was defensive, like "they're mine don't question them," that would be the deal breaker.

    I'm not against it...if i lost them I wouldn't care but I know they're there and I don't throw stuff away. I still have my boxes from from stuff I bought in the 90's like my Sega systems and all that stuff...some stuff i just don't throw away.

    It's pics of any ex's that sent me pics/videos...just don't feel I have to delete them.

    No you don't have to...but if that girl said "those make me uncomfortable" what would you do?

    It's not that hard to right click and delete a photo is it? I don't mean to be rude but you should realize the vast majority of women aren't gonna be cool with those kind of photos. It makes it seem like you're still hung up on your ex.

    If i was dating a woman and she somehow found out that I had those pics and told me they made her feel uncomfortable having...I'd delete them in front of her if thats what she needed to make her feel better.

    None of my GF's never knew I had pics of other ex's..it doesn't come up...no reason to bring it up. This is the first woman I've dated that happen to see one.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    It's an awkward moment, for sure. It wouldnt be a deal breaker for me tho, as I realise that people have a past and take naked pics all the time :noway:

    I just think that she wan't feeling it, just like you weren't feeling it, and used that as an excuse to walk?

    OR

    She's looked at them and thought you're quite sexual, but yet, you haven't made a move on her and so you must not be attracted to her?

    OR

    perhaps she's flat chested so thinks you won't be into her once you see them?

    OR

    yeah, perhaps she's a prude and is still in utter shock at nudity! How dare you!! :laugh:


    I would take everyone's advice and put them in a secret folder so the accident doesnt happen again :wink:


    PS I've got junk pics of my exes dating back 25years. I dont see why I should delete them either!! :bigsmile:
  • 4themoney
    4themoney Posts: 797 Member
    as long as you would be willing to delete them if a GF asked, i don't see the issue. maybe put them in a separate folder, just in case. but you having them isn't a huge issue. at least not in my opinion. but, if we were dating and i knew you had them and asked you to delete them and you wouldn't then there would be an issue. i would rather you have pics of ME than of your exs......

    If i was dating a woman and she somehow found out that I had those pics and told me they made her feel uncomfortable having...I'd delete them in front of her if thats what she needed to make her feel better.

    None of my GF's never knew I had pics of other ex's..it doesn't come up...no reason to bring it up. This is the first woman I've dated that happen to see one.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    Would totally be a deal breaker for me, if you divorced in 2004 and have moved past your wife, WHY do you still have those pictures? I wouldn't want to see my ex naked now ewww. It was pretty tacky, not to be rude. But I give her props for how she handled it.

    You say 'I knew she wasn't "the one" so its not really a big deal but just wonder if that turned her off and lose interest. '
    Sounds like maybe you really aren't sure, becuase if yuo really didn't care much about her you wouldn't have asked us the question :)
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member

    I guess looking from her point of view...I'd end up thinking who was that and why does he have those...and how new are those?

    That's exactly it. As a woman, the first thing that goes through my mind is when were those taken. And let's be real here, both men and women have lied about lesser things. So you could tell me, those are from a long time ago, but in the back of my head the red flags have gone up and I'm out the door.

    ^^^ this.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member

    I just think that she wan't feeling it, just like you weren't feeling it, and used that as an excuse to walk?

    OR

    She's looked at them and thought you're quite sexual, but yet, you haven't made a move on her and so you must not be attracted to her?



    OR

    yeah, perhaps she's a prude and is still in utter shock at nudity! How dare you!! :laugh:


    Yeah, could be any one of those.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Would totally be a deal breaker for me, if you divorced in 2004 and have moved past your wife, WHY do you still have those pictures? I wouldn't want to see my ex naked now ewww. It was pretty tacky, not to be rude. But I give her props for how she handled it.

    You say 'I knew she wasn't "the one" so its not really a big deal but just wonder if that turned her off and lose interest. '
    Sounds like maybe you really aren't sure, becuase if yuo really didn't care much about her you wouldn't have asked us the question :)

    Because as mentioned...i can't get myself to throw away old things like pics, boxes and junk like that for certain things. My mom died in 1998...should I delete her pics too cuz she's not around anymore?

    As for "not caring"...i guess maybe I cared a lil bit...i haven't dated in over 2 years so when she pursued me at a bar it felt good so I became interested...but kinda forced myself because I knew i still wasn't ready to date cuz i'm not happy with my current weight but the fact that she was interested in me was nice. Just never got super comfy with her but went along to see how it went. So while I don't care THAT much it didn't work out...I was still curious as to why she lost interested after seeming very interested in me. More curiousity of what I did wrong than anything...so I don't do it again.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,251 Member
    Would totally be a deal breaker for me, if you divorced in 2004 and have moved past your wife, WHY do you still have those pictures? I wouldn't want to see my ex naked now ewww. It was pretty tacky, not to be rude. But I give her props for how she handled it.

    You say 'I knew she wasn't "the one" so its not really a big deal but just wonder if that turned her off and lose interest. '
    Sounds like maybe you really aren't sure, becuase if yuo really didn't care much about her you wouldn't have asked us the question :)

    Because as mentioned...i can't get myself to throw away old things like pics, boxes and junk like that for certain things. My mom died in 1998...should I delete her pics too cuz she's not around anymore?

    As for "not caring"...i guess maybe I cared a lil bit...i haven't dated in over 2 years so when she pursued me at a bar it felt good so I became interested...but kinda forced myself because I knew i still wasn't ready to date cuz i'm not happy with my current weight but the fact that she was interested in me was nice. Just never got super comfy with her but went along to see how it went. So while I don't care THAT much it didn't work out...I was still curious as to why she lost interested after seeming very interested in me. More curiousity of what I did wrong than anything...so I don't do it again.

    TBH the pics wouldn't bother me. I still have my wedding albums I'm keeping them for my kids.... I'm more concerned by the fact that you can't throw anything away lol. Your heading into hoarder status
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Would totally be a deal breaker for me, if you divorced in 2004 and have moved past your wife, WHY do you still have those pictures? I wouldn't want to see my ex naked now ewww. It was pretty tacky, not to be rude. But I give her props for how she handled it.

    You say 'I knew she wasn't "the one" so its not really a big deal but just wonder if that turned her off and lose interest. '
    Sounds like maybe you really aren't sure, becuase if yuo really didn't care much about her you wouldn't have asked us the question :)

    Because as mentioned...i can't get myself to throw away old things like pics, boxes and junk like that for certain things. My mom died in 1998...should I delete her pics too cuz she's not around anymore?

    As for "not caring"...i guess maybe I cared a lil bit...i haven't dated in over 2 years so when she pursued me at a bar it felt good so I became interested...but kinda forced myself because I knew i still wasn't ready to date cuz i'm not happy with my current weight but the fact that she was interested in me was nice. Just never got super comfy with her but went along to see how it went. So while I don't care THAT much it didn't work out...I was still curious as to why she lost interested after seeming very interested in me. More curiousity of what I did wrong than anything...so I don't do it again.

    TBH the pics wouldn't bother me. I still have my wedding albums I'm keeping them for my kids.... I'm more concerned by the fact that you can't throw anything away lol. Your heading into hoarder status

    lol..my house is clean. The few boxes I have saved are in my attic...stupid things like my Sega Genesis, Dreamcast and 32X box, old Atari games, Old sega game boxes..."collections"
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Oh yeah, i forgot...that same night i showed her my facebook to see a pic of something. My name on there was set to Fatty McButterpants....that really seemed to turn her off too...asked why I'd even name myself that and it was insulting to myself. Told her to chillax and that its from my favorite show The King of Queens....she didn't see the humor in it.
  • Jennifer2387
    Jennifer2387 Posts: 957 Member
    Haha!

    I would have totally called you out on it. I probably would have ended it as well .. no matter what your answer was.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    lol...well what's done is done...lesson learned, be more careful if ever showing a woman pics on my computer and make a special folder for those naughty pics and videos.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    lol...well what's done is done...lesson learned, be more careful if ever showing a woman pics on my computer and make a special folder for those naughty pics and videos.
    Or you could take half the time to delete them and not have to create secret folders.

    Men I swear.
  • Jennifer2387
    Jennifer2387 Posts: 957 Member
    Or you could take half the time to delete them and not have to create secret folders.

    Men I swear.

    Word.
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    lol...well what's done is done...lesson learned, be more careful if ever showing a woman pics on my computer and make a special folder for those naughty pics and videos.
    Or you could take half the time to delete them and not have to create secret folders.

    Men I swear.

    Just create the secret folder. Those exes may become famous some day. Then you'd be sitting on a gold mine!
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
    Damnit....you all have me wondering what pics my ex has of me. And videos. He gave them back (they were on a disc for his deployments), but did he copy them....Most likely.... :grumble:
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    I wouldn't care. The only thing that would change is I'd know to NEVER give you any nudes because you keep them after the fact and you are careless.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I wouldn't care. The only thing that would change is I'd know to NEVER give you any nudes because you keep them after the fact and you are careless.

    Good point!
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Damnit....you all have me wondering what pics my ex has of me. And videos. He gave them back (they were on a disc for his deployments), but did he copy them....Most likely.... :grumble:

    of course he copied them.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    sorry girls, doesn't matter if he is your bf , he will be your EX bf one day THAT'S why no naughty pics or vids from me.

    even if you get married, he can become your EX HUSBAND one day, i.e., OP (original perv, I mean poster)
  • afv417
    afv417 Posts: 466 Member
    I had some budoir pics made that looked like a pin-up girl poster for an ex of mine. When we broke up he took both framed pictures with him! I asked a guy friend about it and he said: "Of course he would keep it! You made it for him! I wouldn't throw them away." Made me wonder.... still does and this was 2 years ago.
  • Jennifer2387
    Jennifer2387 Posts: 957 Member
    sorry girls, doesn't matter if he is your bf , he will be your bf one day THAT'S why no naughty pics or vids from me.

    even if you get married, he can become your EX HUSBAND one day, i.e., OP (original perv, I mean poster)

    heeee heeeeeee .. the girls on single peeps are on FIRE today! Watch out boys!
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    sorry girls, doesn't matter if he is your bf , he will be your bf one day THAT'S why no naughty pics or vids from me.

    even if you get married, he can become your EX HUSBAND one day, i.e., OP (original perv, I mean poster)

    so even in a relationship you'd never send a naughty photo or video to your significant other because you're thinking ahead that you may break up and he'll have these nude photos of you?

    So what if he has them? What exactly is the big deal? So I'm bored one day going through my pics folder and stumble upon those breast shots one ex sent...i look at them and move on.


    Curious as to how many men, if polled, still keep naked pics of exes long after they're broken up.
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