I just got home from a visit with the cardiologist and I'm fighting the urge to get depressed all over again. In November I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation. Went in for an annual physical and before I left the primary care doc's office, I had an EKG, a next-day appt. with a cardiologist and a blood thinner that I was to take right then and there. It scared the hell out of me as the first thing I heard was "You are at 5 times greater risk of a stroke". I wasn't aware of any symptoms other than an occasional shortness of breath that I attributed to mild COPD from many years of smoking. Smoking that I gave up along with caffeine, fried food and red meat. I've eaten so much poultry in the last 20 years I should be clucking. Also switched to low fat/ no fat dairy, try to walk on a regular basis and do my best to avoid stress. Retirement has helped that last one a lot. So this afib thing seemed to come out of the blue. Yes, I am overweight but not obese and yes, I enjoy my wine maybe a little too much but one would think that the other things I've done to avoid "heart problems" would be enough. Apparently not. Might be genetic, too, as my Dad and his brothers all had cardio-vascular problems - the big reason I started working on mine years ago. So initially, being afraid to do anything that might induce a stroke, I sat around worrying about it which depressed me and made it hard for me to really enjoy the holidays. I finally got tired of myself and started this new year with a plan to overcome this problem. Only to find out today that there is no cure and I will simply have to learn to live with it. Two years ago I walked a half marathon in 3 hours and 36 minutes. The last two weeks I've been lucky to walk for 40 minutes at 3 mph before I poop out. I hate that it makes me feel old - I'm not ready to feel old and I'm not ready to give in to bodily infirmities. I'm too young for that. I actually feel better having written all this down and instead of heading to Starbucks for a Venti mocha WITH whipped cream, I'll have some cystal light and maybe an apple. And get on my treadmill in the morning. Thanks.