Thanks for your comment. My post was part venting, part an experience of being weighed down by my weight. This extra weight I'm carrying and my poor physical condition really affects me in such a negative way. I'm probably not even a good faker!! (ha, ha) I'm convinced that if I was even 10 or 20 lbs. lighter I would have been in a much better and more positive mindset, and therefore I would have easily deflected the negative people and had a much better time. Hopefully I can use each experience to propel me forward to achieve my goals.

I go by force....my husband, kids, and other family members start working on me, weeks in advance....telling me all kinds of things, from come on it will be fun, don't be a stick in the mud, why am I so unsociable, they just keep on until I cave..and give in.
Then I try to psych myself up and say...well maybe I will have fun, maybe I will see some old friends I haven't seen in awhile, etc. , etc.
If I could wave a magic wand, and automatically be at my goal weight, with a nice outfit on, I would gladly want to go, want to enjoy myself and dance all night....so it's got to be my weight that holds me back and ruins my self-confidence. I look at my daughter, and she's in such great shape, when she goes shopping, everything she tries on looks amazing. I believe she could put on a burlap sack and look fantastic. I see how confident she is and how great she feels about herself. I'm very happy for her, I'm glad she is like that, and not jealous of her, nor do I compare myself to her, but I would like to feel happy and confident about myself, too.
I'm the same way as you, I don't like to leave the house, even to go to the grocery store. I went to my last high school reunion because my friend begged me to go with her. I felt the same way as you, too. I went to an all girls highschool and I didn't really fit in. I wasn't one of the rich girls, or the pretty girls, or the atheletic girls, or even the smart nerdy girls, I just was a "loner" who was extremely shy. I discovered drinking, and it did open me up and people thought I was hysterically funny, so I then became known as "the life of the party". People all of a sudden wanted to be my friend. That core group, that sincerely liked me, I'm still friends with today. There were alot of others that had their own interests I no longer have contact with. Still others fell away when I got married and had children. So....I'm glad I went to my last reunion, yes... I'm glad I got up enough confidence to go.
You'll see if you go, people change over the course of 20 years ,your fellow students have grown older, some might even be completely gray, some wiser, most have gained weight and aged, nobody really stays the same, some of mine even died and were no longer with us. A very few of mine, looked way better then highschool and there was gossip going around suggesting "plastic surgery". I would encourage you to go if you can, at least try, and if you're not having a good time, it's always better to make an excuse and leave early.
Part of my "Faking it, until you make it" strategy is to act as if I'm my goal weight already, so that means living life like I've already met my goal. The strategy is that if a person acts that way, then that person will make choices such as exercise and watch what they eat, and start living life like the person that they want to become" (if I'm explaining this so it makes sense).
I basically psych myself out with this "thinking" and act like the person I want to be. Maybe you could try it, envision yourself already being how you want to be, then practice, leave the house and go somewhere. Pretend you're at your goal weight, you look and feel fantastic about yourself, you're happy and full of life. Try it a few times. (I know it seems silly) but it might help you like it does me.
There is a saying that goes something like.....if you keep doing things the same way then you keep getting the same results, so you have to do things differently to get different results....or something like that???

We all have our "comfort Zone" where we feel the safest at. Sometimes it's the hardest thing to give yourself a little push to get out of that box, that comfort zone, sometimes it's so uncomfortable. Do you ever ask yourself, who do you want to be? What kind of a wife, mother, friend, or woman do you want to be? I think that it is so much more important how we view ourselves now where we currently in our lives? Discover how do we envision where we are and where and how we want to be? Do you see yourself as wanting to be that really cool wife/mom who goes to the museum and has a fun, awesome time? Because, you know what....you deserve it... you deserve to be with your husband and son, go somewhere....really enjoy the moment...just relax and have a good time. Just try, every once in awhile, step out of your comfort zone and try something new, or try going somewhere....little by little, you might grow to enjoy it!! Little by little you will grow more comfortable doing it....little by little...you might tell yourself...hey why wasn't I doing this before??
As for your birthday, your goal is totally do-able!! You can do it!!! And what better gift can you give yourself .....a healthier "'you''