Ask him. My last gf made it very clear that she wasn't going to be a Friend with Benefits. I do beleive on date number 2 she flat out asked me if I was just looking for a "fling". She wasn't against having sex but wanted to make sure that I was looking for more than just sex.

For me it's part of the natural progression. I have sex early on, but I don't think that having sex makes us bf/gf. Sometimes the "dating" evolves into that, sometimes it stays "dating" until we move on to other people and sometimes it becomes an established FWB situation. It's part of determining if I am compatible with that person. Do I like his personality? Are we good in bed? Am I impressed with his mindset? Do I like spending time with him? It all flows together and makes the relationship what it is.

There was only one time where I literally had to ask "What are we?" but that was because I was a young girl being used by a manipulative game playing @sshat.

I guess all I can say is if you aren't okay with maybe becoming a booty call, don't have sex early. And if you don't want to have sex early be prepared to have guys that don't want to wait, so they move on. It just means you aren't compatible regardless and you didn't have to compromise your morals to figure it out later after you invested emotionally. There's nothing wrong with either method.

I have a friend who told me time and time again that she wanted to stay a virgin until she married...and then she met her first boyfriend. They actually dated for a few months before they did it, and they're broken up now and he's her only partner. I would have termed it more as "I want to wait to have sex until a relationship." That is how I am. I would love to have sex, but I want to have in the terms of a relationship.

If you don't want to be treated as a booty call, you have to make that clear and follow through with your actions. YOU set up how you are going to be treated. If you don't want that late night text, don't answer it and make it clear that you don't want those texts. If you want sex within commitment, don't have sex without commitment, even if it feels good at the time, and make it clear that is what is going to happen. Make him actually take you out and treat you well (and that goes both ways), and that doesn't just mean ordering in Jimmy Johns and watching a movie on the couch. He actually must take you somewhere and show you off. He must tell his friends about you.

If you're just having sex and not doing anything else, it's a booty call .

I had a guy tell me all the time when he was drunk that he liked me, wanted to have sex with me. that I was so hot. All those times, I was flattered...but it never matched up to his daytime persona. He was always nice to me during the day but never followed up any of his late-night confessions with any daytime action. And that is when I knew he basically just wanted me for sex/booty call. I had a problem with that. Many girls wouldn't, but I did. I want sex within a relationship. If he had asked me out sometime I would've said yes because I was practically in love with him and we would probably be having sex right now. But he didn't.

I do beleive this is more of a "younger" mans move I think the older men get the more hoenst about "sex" and "relationships" they become...again I can only speak for me and for what I gather from my male friends. Maybe we are just the last of the good guys...

I'm glad you are honest.

I became single at 34, and since then all of the guys I've gone out with are older up to 15yrs older. Not sure what you mean by older, but I'm guessing the guys I've dated probalby qualify.

You konw what's funny? Last weekend I was talking to a friend's aunt who is widowed in her 60s and had a wonderful marriage. She was frustrated with the dating scene and told me, "These men in their 70s and 80s! You'd think they are teenagers because all they want is NSA sex!!!" So maybe at THAT age they're more honest, lol!

Shoot, if I'm 70 or 80 and I find myself available I hope I have so much unprotected sex it would make porn stars blush!

Shoot, if I'm 70 or 80 and I find myself available I hope I have so much unprotected sex it would make porn stars blush!

I suppose, but in her 60s she's sitll got a few decades left in her. She said the guys are just looking for the next pieca or a nurse, no relationships. She wants to recreate what she had with her deceased husband. I feel bad for her, bc it's slimmer pickins the older you get and I suspect in that age bracket no one wants to be burdened down with a wife if they don't have to.

Well, I was being more tongue in cheek. Realistically I can't really predict what my mindset would be in 50+ years :flowerforyou:

Anna you are friggin incredible!
From what I have seen is that men want to sample everything that is available with the mind set variety is the spice of life. maybe brunets are better? maybe asians feel different? maybe a small tiny girl will make him "look" bigger? Maybe a slightly bigger girl he can be rougher?. Mind sets of men and sex it seems more like curiosity than anything else.
So to not be a booty call maybe let the mystery that is you build until they have to get to know your heart. Then bam Amazing sex!!! So yeah suggestion is wait and have him prove he really likes you and not just your female parts. Men and women will get away with what ever they can.
Bottom line is if the relationship or booty call make you feel good about who you are then it isn't wrong. If you feel bad about it don't do it. Can't change people, the only change you can make is in yourself.

it's "NEXT" because so many people (not just guys) think that having sex is PART of determining whether you should be in a relationship with someone. A woman just can't win unless she's purely seeking physical enjoyment.

A great emotional connection and great sex with someone beats hand down a relationship with just the emotional connection. This is not even mentioning the fact that a sexually frustrating relationship leads to resentment and sometimes adultery.

I think a woman who isn't interested in "physical enjoyment by itself" can win by accepting the fact that she can end up in a "sub-optimal committed relationship" on the sole basis of "emotional connection" (and she could have gotten much more).
I guess this is OK if both partners aren't too sexual though, but you've got to be sure of that before committing.

So then I'm joining Kit in saying that this should ultimately just be another criterion for the selection of your partner. These days, you can find people who are ready to wait and people who don't want to wait. So it's (still) OK either way.

How does someone know a guy only thinks of her as a booty call? If a young lady reading this forum wants to avoid being treated like a booty call, what should she do (or not do)?

What Annapixel said is accurate. That's how you can tell: how much do you get from it.
And if the guy is lying to you (and he is good at lying) then it should look real enough so that you won't be suspecting anything anyway. So don't try to second guess him, and just enjoy the relationship either way.

ok must chime in here.....

1 a booty call and a FWB are different..... Think of it this way BF/GF next step down is FWB ,next is Booty call and then One night stands....... Booty calls get no hang out time and literally are someone you call after midnight to come over and have sex.. Then you get them to leave... Or you go to their house do it and leave.....

FWB usually have the discussion going in that this is no strings attached fun( and if not you should) The one thing I do agree with JJ is you should have a talk some where in there (preferably before you have sex) about what kind of relationship/nonrelationship it is.... Personally I don't do booty calls because I like to be more involved in the people I'm sleeping with

It all depends for me. I usually date after we've become somewhat friends. The times I've had FWB/NSA it just happened. She gave it up right away, was purely sexual at first and I was fine with that. After meetig three or four times for just sex and no date or any other plans, then it becomes that. If after all we've done is just have sex and she later asks why I don't take her out, I will just say that I thought that's all she wanted, because that's all she has wanted from the start. To me, she should have communicated what she wanted from the start.

Once someone is classified as a NDA/FWB, I will not go out with her.