Even though I'm fairly new to the online dating world, I'm not all that impressed thus far. I'm definitely looking for quality and found that I have much better luck in the bar scene. People seem less flaky and more genuine when you meet them organically.

Funny...most women I know tend to not like meeting at bars because guys there still seem to be pretty sleazy/flaky, are doused in cheap cologne or BO and are often looking to just hook up for the night.
At least with online dating you get a chance to pre-screen for some semblance of manners, intelligence, compatibility or at the very least..grammar.

I think it also really depends on your age group, and what age group you are thinking about when you are saying this.

It might not be everyone's reality, but I think I agree a lot of time with our "dudes" with regards to women from age 20 to 25 (and in some cases up to 30 y.o.).
Or more plainly put: I haven't seen many women in single peeps below their 30 and barely any below 25 to agree with the guys, but a lot of what men are saying is unfortunately a reality in this age group.

Now, DM (30) is looking for women in the age group 20-30, so it is his reality (and probably mine).
I agree and understand however that things change big time for women when they get past 25-30.

IMO, there is such a divide in terms of behaviour between the "30 y.o.+" and the "18-30 y.o." age groups that the average of the groups wouldn't reflect the reality of both age groups.
Or in other words, you cannot very accurately describe general "dating & mating behaviours" when talking about women, whereas when you split in below 30 and above 30 you really start to get some clusters.

This has been my experience and the experience of many men. In general, I look at the age of the posters to try to understand where they might be in life.

All of this to say what? That men are in fact the more mature partners...

^ hahahahahaha love it.

I'm sick of the top tier *kitten*. Can we talk about real life and real people and not these mythical top tiers??

I am on Match. I check it every once in a while (I've only gotten about four emails in the year I've been on, so it's not like I'm ignoring tons of men lol. There are plenty of cute men ages 25-30 I've come across, but it is odd in that tonight I was matched with a boy I happened to meet last summer that I was massively crushing on that night (I posted about him here). I had never caught his name though...well he did tell me but truth be told I was pretty damn drunk and didn't remember it!

Lol he wrote "The bar scene is a lot of fun but I don't think I will find my "match" there!"

Which is fine, but not nearly enough to say that everyone aught to give up with online dating completely. It's a really low stress way to keep a line in the water. I keep saying it "Why not do both?"

Why is that to hard for some people to understand?

Kits, I bow to you.

Hot girls and above average girls would rather meet potential boyfriends organically.

Mid tier women and above don't really take men seriously that they meet from online

I confess that I might barf if I hear this top and mid tier BS again. Pics of all the 'top tier' women each of you guys actually got 'organically' or it didn't happen...

True story. And I know how to get stock photo websites so don't bother with trying to rip a models picture from the internet (though I guess that's one way of finding an online girlfriend).

I totally agree that online dating is probably different for men and women and also different based on various age brackets and loxations ..so it makes sense that all that can really be offered here is personal and subjective opinions. Personally I like the fact I can pre-screen men with online dating so as to suss out the douhebag factor. See, in person I get distracted by chemistry and looks and have been known to overlook more important factors...such as having a personality and not being a superficial and arrogant jerk.

Even though I'm fairly new to the online dating world, I'm not all that impressed thus far. I'm definitely looking for quality and found that I have much better luck in the bar scene. People seem less flaky and more genuine when you meet them organically.

Funny...most women I know tend to not like meeting at bars because guys there still seem to be pretty sleazy/flaky, are doused in cheap cologne or BO and are often looking to just hook up for the night.
At least with online dating you get a chance to pre-screen for some semblance of manners, intelligence, compatibility or at the very least..grammar.

I think it also really depends on your age group, and what age group you are thinking about when you are saying this.

It might not be everyone's reality, but I think I agree a lot of time with our "dudes" with regards to women from age 20 to 25 (and in some cases up to 30 y.o.).
Or more plainly put: I haven't seen many women in single peeps below their 30 and barely any below 25 to agree with the guys, but a lot of what men are saying is unfortunately a reality in this age group.

Now, DM (30) is looking for women in the age group 20-30, so it is his reality (and probably mine).
I agree and understand however that things change big time for women when they get past 25-30.

IMO, there is such a divide in terms of behaviour between the "30 y.o.+" and the "18-30 y.o." age groups that the average of the groups wouldn't reflect the reality of both age groups.
Or in other words, you cannot very accurately describe general "dating & mating behaviours" when talking about women, whereas when you split in below 30 and above 30 you really start to get some clusters.

This has been my experience and the experience of many men. In general, I look at the age of the posters to try to understand where they might be in life.

All of this to say what? That men are in fact the more mature partners...

I agree, demographic thinking sort of rules the world, sometimes.

people still use yahoo personals? Why not use craigslist?

LOL, yeah....I laughed when I saw Yahoo on that list... :noway:

Hot girls and above average girls would rather meet potential boyfriends organically.

Mid tier women and above don't really take men seriously that they meet from online

I confess that I might barf if I hear this top and mid tier BS again. Pics of all the 'top tier' women each of you guys actually got 'organically' or it didn't happen...

I had typed a really long paragraph and I decided to delete it.
But in substance it said that: unless he is extremely good looking himself, a man cannot land a top 10% woman online (reasons: number of messages they receive, competition with other better looking men, too much offer).
The chances will improve significantly offline (they do not meet as many people as the number of people who will contact them online in a day).

If any man here has landed a top tier woman, chances are it has happened offline indeed.
It is still difficult, but at least you enter the realm of possibilities (especially if you can show the top 10% woman that you aren't a shallow *kitten* or an arrogant jerk ).

On a side note, to reply to the OP, it looks like chemistry.com is full of women (if we are to believe the stats that mention "yahoo personals"). I 'd be really surprised, but if this is the case it seems like a no go for women and a go for men.

If any man here has landed a top tier woman, chances are it has happened offline indeed.
It is still difficult, but at least you enter the realm of possibilities (especially if you can show the top 10% woman that you aren't a shallow *kitten* or an arrogant jerk ).

Flim...does your definition of a "top tier" or "10%" woman also start and end with looks?

Nope. I guess for me a top tier woman is "looks + personality + intelligence + fun" in good amounts (so probably in the top tier in all of that... is it better than just wanting looks? You tell me :laugh: ).

But to clarify, a top tier/10% woman based on looks is going to be an impossible catch online. Whether she has brains or an amazing personality is not even a factor.
It's not like most people read profiles online, so looks probably matters in a way more. The choice online is so vast that most people will go for either "looks" or "looks + brains" (depending on the type of relationship you are after). In big cities at least, there is always another good looking person that pops in the list of people you can contact next.

A good looking girl doing online dating told my friend that she had to put only "ugly pics" of herself because she wanted to find a "decent" guy with similar interests and that her mailbox was basically flooded with messages from guys who didn't even read her profile before doing that.
I'm not inventing any of this...

So yeah, basically if a man here has landed a "top tier" woman (looks wise), chances are it has happened offline indeed.

^^^^ I love you. That is all.

I'm not touching the "tier" crap with a 10ft pole but I have to side with the men on this one. I think all ages have equal playing field for dating because no one likes the same thing. Here's why I'm playing devil's advocate:

I online dated pretty much from after college (22) after a 3 year college relationship ended on and off until I was about 30-31. I met men, lots of men, went on lots of dates and dated one long term (2 years). Looking back on it now, were they "quality" men, NO. Online dating didn't work for me because I was finding that the only men I was meeting online were guys that "couldn't" get a woman in real life. I'm not saying they weren't attractive or go getters, but they had a social issue (either depression, social anxiety, or a worse mental condition) and felt better surfing around on the internet for "babes" which typically made them non-committal and wishy washy because there was always another woman around the corner for them to chat with). I online dated in Pittsburgh and Columbus (2 mid-size cities) and felt I was spinning my wheels for years. I'd get an e-mail or a "text" from a guy, start talking, get all excited about them then weeks later meet them. Realize they were just another dud and move on. All that up and down made me MISERABLE. I stopped online dating after one guy I dated for a few months killed himself. That was my last draw.

Now, from 31 to 33 I pretty much put dating on the back burner. If I met someone out, I'd be open to it and I went on a few dates here and there but had way more fun hanging out with friends. Until 2012 when I met my current BF at work. Yes, I know, how could I ever start dating a guy I WORKED with? You just don't do that. I opened up my box, stepped outside and went for it, and I'm SO glad I did. So, moral of the story, you won't met as many men out in public, but if you stop concentrating on DATING for awhile, the right one might come along. With most things in life, patience is a virtue.

Now, DM (30) is looking for women in the age group 20-30, so it is his reality (and probably mine).
I agree and understand however that things change big time for women when they get past 25-30.

I’m not 30 yet. My age preference is 21-28, and I think the most ideal partner will be 2-5 years younger.

I'd also add that the men that I know who have their act together emotionally, financially, and that look good (top tier men) are NOT under 35. They will also not date women under 30 because they are grown ups.

Edit: sorry to offend the under 35 crowd, but I was once young and knew guys my age sucked.

Wait.. top tier men over 35 won't date a woman under 30? That couldn't be further from the truth. Top tier men over 35 *only* date women under 30.

From what I see at the bars and clubs, top tier men in their 40's will only date women who are 10+ years younger than them. Youth is truly king. Young women have an enormous advantage in the dating world and most know it.

Mike is correct. An in demand 35-40 year old will be looking first at women about 25-30.

Last year, a guy who I knew (age 34 at the time) began dating a waitress at a Hooters esque establishment. This particular breastauarant has better food than Hooters. She was a 19 year old college sophomore. She dropped him after about 3 months. Why? Because she had better options. He was not a cream of the crop guy, although he had a decent job and also is better than average looking.

I’ve also seen guys 40-45 going for women in their 20s. Women in their early to mid 20s, who are childless and better than average looking have the dating world as their oyster.

It also could be the 19 year old dropped him because they have nothing in common and she probably started dating someone younger than him.

A 19 year old who's hot enough to work at Hooters has infinite options. She could have zero personality, poor social skills, and be a high school dropout, yet she'll still have unlimited options when it comes to dating good looking, successful men.

One thing I can guarantee is that she's definitely not doing online dating!

Pics of all the 'top tier' women each of you guys actually got 'organically' or it didn't happen...

And by "actually got" I'm expecting to see more than two dates. Real dates. Not just going dutch on coffee or drinks.

A 19 year old who's hot enough to work at Hooters has infinite options. She could have zero personality, poor social skills, and be a high school dropout, yet she'll still have unlimited options when it comes to dating good looking, successful men.

Dating, yes. But not marrying, being cherished, loved for the rest of her life. A lot of my peers who “enjoy” the hooters-girls generally don’t respect them.

So… why exactly are you trying to convince the single ladies of this board that they should try to be that?