I'm only 6 weeks, but I know I'm going to end up feeling the same way you do. For me this pregnancy - though much desired - was a huge unexpected surprise and it came as I just hit the 40lb lost mark. I am finally feeling confident and happy with my body, more than in years, and have worked so hard to get here only to now "lose" it so soon. I am not sure how I'm going to deal with it, other than reminding myself that my body is doing exactly what it needs to right now to bring a healthy baby into the world. I realize that's not much help, mostly just posting to let you know you're not alone.

I haven't started a pregnancy in a healthy BMI yet, but I have had 2 pregnancies where I lost a significant amount of weight before getting pregnant. My first and third (current). With my first, I could not watch the weight go back up. I had a hard time focusing on eating enough for the pregnancy and I had a total **** of a doctor that gave me a hard time about my weight the entire time. About half way through, I stood facing away from the scale and asked that they not tell me my weight. I could no longer handle it. I asked that they only bring up my weight if there was a problem (not gaining, gaining too fast, etc.) this really helped me deal. Now that this is my third pregnancy, I have a pretty good idea of how my body handles the weight gain and loss, so watching the numbers go up, while difficult, isn't nearly as hard this time.

I do think you should feel good in the clothes you wear. You don't have to spend a lot of money to find even a few things that will make you feel good. This pregnancy I am not able to wear much from my previous because I am smaller, and I donated quite a bit of it since we weren't planning on more children. I have a few dresses that I wear with leggings or tights that I was wearing pre-pregnancy, that are still working for me now, and I'll continue to wear them after my pregnancy. There are a lot of cuts out there now that actually work pretty well for pregnancy, even if they aren't maternity. I have spent $15 or less on these dresses at JCPenney and Target. Only one of them is maternity. You can look at Salvation Army too for maternity clothes. I understand they can have some pretty good ones.

I would ask friends, family, acquaintances through any organizations or church, or school that you know that have maternity clothes that they would be willing to loan or give to you. With my first child, I wouldn't ask for anything, my second, I was willing to ask for more, now, I am asking anyone I know for baby clothes, gear, etc. Especially since we have none of that stuff left. Our surprise baby won't be using anything that his big brothers had!

Thank you for starting this conversation. I have spent the last 24 hours crying and feeing very very down about what my body is doing with this pregnancy.

This is my 4th pregnancy. But its been 10 years since my last pregnancy. I have a 17 yr old, 15 yr old and 10 yr old. I was a healthy weight with all 3 previous pregnancies. BUT I gained a lot with each one. 1st - 65 lbs, 2nd-45 lbs, 3rd 90lbs!!!!!!!! I lost the weight from the 1st 2 with in 6 months of giving birth. But with my 3rd I only had lost 50 of those 90, recently 20 right before I got pregnant, so I was still up 40 lbs from my goal weight when I got pregnant this time.

So....thats where I begin. Down 50, but still up 40. This is the biggest I ever started out pregnant. And as you can see, I have a history of gaining a lot of weight when pregnant. Before anyone jumps on me about the weight you need to know, YES i ate healthy, YES I exercised, NO I did not eat junk food!
I promised myself I was only going to gain 15-20 lbs with this pregnancy. I have continued to track cals and continued exercise. ( 1200-1500 calories, 30-90 min cardio, eating back some exercise calories)
I gained 10 lbs at my 8 wk appt. and contined gaining 10 lbs monthly. Currently I am 24 weeks and am up 40lbs!!!!!!!
This is impossible when you do the math. Hormones? Must be...., retaining water? YES.
I am DEVISTATED to say the least. I dont even know what to do, and my OB simpliy says that this is what my body does when pregnant. I never lost all the weight in the 1st place, now I will have to start out again up 90lbs!!!!! or MORE!!!!!

I am having a very hard time with self esteem after every dr appt. I am having a very hard time with even being on MFP and reading about all my prego friends maintaining weight, gaining very little weight, and even some losing weight while pregnant!!!!!
Is there anyone else out there like me???? Because I am ready to lose my mind! And my OB's answer is just not cutting it with me.

And for the record: I eat whole foods. Organic 90% of the time. No wheat 90% of the time. No processed foods 90% of the time. My cardio is speed walking at incline on treadmill or eliptical.

So, I completely understand why you are afraid to gain weight. I feel like I am living my own weight nightmare right now, even while being escatic about being pregnant again, this is not making my pregnancy enjoyable. I want to stop the madness!

Thank you for starting this conversation. I have spent the last 24 hours crying and feeing very very down about what my body is doing with this pregnancy.

This is my 4th pregnancy. But its been 10 years since my last pregnancy. I have a 17 yr old, 15 yr old and 10 yr old. I was a healthy weight with all 3 previous pregnancies. BUT I gained a lot with each one. 1st - 65 lbs, 2nd-45 lbs, 3rd 90lbs!!!!!!!! I lost the weight from the 1st 2 with in 6 months of giving birth. But with my 3rd I only had lost 50 of those 90, recently 20 right before I got pregnant, so I was still up 40 lbs from my goal weight when I got pregnant this time.

So....thats where I begin. Down 50, but still up 40. This is the biggest I ever started out pregnant. And as you can see, I have a history of gaining a lot of weight when pregnant. Before anyone jumps on me about the weight you need to know, YES i ate healthy, YES I exercised, NO I did not eat junk food!
I promised myself I was only going to gain 15-20 lbs with this pregnancy. I have continued to track cals and continued exercise. ( 1200-1500 calories, 30-90 min cardio, eating back some exercise calories)
I gained 10 lbs at my 8 wk appt. and contined gaining 10 lbs monthly. Currently I am 24 weeks and am up 40lbs!!!!!!!
This is impossible when you do the math. Hormones? Must be...., retaining water? YES.
I am DEVISTATED to say the least. I dont even know what to do, and my OB simpliy says that this is what my body does when pregnant. I never lost all the weight in the 1st place, now I will have to start out again up 90lbs!!!!! or MORE!!!!!

I am having a very hard time with self esteem after every dr appt. I am having a very hard time with even being on MFP and reading about all my prego friends maintaining weight, gaining very little weight, and even some losing weight while pregnant!!!!!
Is there anyone else out there like me???? Because I am ready to lose my mind! And my OB's answer is just not cutting it with me.

And for the record: I eat whole foods. Organic 90% of the time. No wheat 90% of the time. No processed foods 90% of the time. My cardio is speed walking at incline on treadmill or eliptical.

So, I completely understand why you are afraid to gain weight. I feel like I am living my own weight nightmare right now, even while being escatic about being pregnant again, this is not making my pregnancy enjoyable. I want to stop the madness!

Deep breath. The worst thing that women do to themselves is compare themselves with other women. Those "other pregnant women" are not you. Focus on the health of your baby, not the scale. Because when it comes down to it, wouldn't you rather have a healthy baby? I just read a ton of birth stories of healthy women who gained 50+ lbs while pregnant. If your body insists on doing this, ITS FOR A REASON. You must keep that in mind. This is ALL for a reason. It's not like you are gaining weight "just because". You are forming a human being within your body. Shift your focus- do your personal best to provide the best nourishment for your baby (and calories are do not provide the whole story about food. Keep in mind that the lower your calorie intake, the harder it is to get necessary nutrients), and forget the rest.

This is my 5th pregnancy, and I don't know where this new maintain during pregnancy thing came from... I have always been told that you need adequate weight gain for your baby to thrive. MFP is the only place I have ever seen this advice. So don't punish yourself because your body knows what its doing. Have faith in it, and enjoy this miracle. Because when you look back, you don't want to feel like you missed out on the enjoyment of the process because you were so hung up on a number on the scale. You will never get this time back- please enjoy every moment!!

Thank you for starting this conversation. I have spent the last 24 hours crying and feeing very very down about what my body is doing with this pregnancy.

This is my 4th pregnancy. But its been 10 years since my last pregnancy. I have a 17 yr old, 15 yr old and 10 yr old. I was a healthy weight with all 3 previous pregnancies. BUT I gained a lot with each one. 1st - 65 lbs, 2nd-45 lbs, 3rd 90lbs!!!!!!!! I lost the weight from the 1st 2 with in 6 months of giving birth. But with my 3rd I only had lost 50 of those 90, recently 20 right before I got pregnant, so I was still up 40 lbs from my goal weight when I got pregnant this time.

So....thats where I begin. Down 50, but still up 40. This is the biggest I ever started out pregnant. And as you can see, I have a history of gaining a lot of weight when pregnant. Before anyone jumps on me about the weight you need to know, YES i ate healthy, YES I exercised, NO I did not eat junk food!
I promised myself I was only going to gain 15-20 lbs with this pregnancy. I have continued to track cals and continued exercise. ( 1200-1500 calories, 30-90 min cardio, eating back some exercise calories)
I gained 10 lbs at my 8 wk appt. and contined gaining 10 lbs monthly. Currently I am 24 weeks and am up 40lbs!!!!!!!
This is impossible when you do the math. Hormones? Must be...., retaining water? YES.
I am DEVISTATED to say the least. I dont even know what to do, and my OB simpliy says that this is what my body does when pregnant. I never lost all the weight in the 1st place, now I will have to start out again up 90lbs!!!!! or MORE!!!!!

I am having a very hard time with self esteem after every dr appt. I am having a very hard time with even being on MFP and reading about all my prego friends maintaining weight, gaining very little weight, and even some losing weight while pregnant!!!!!
Is there anyone else out there like me???? Because I am ready to lose my mind! And my OB's answer is just not cutting it with me.

And for the record: I eat whole foods. Organic 90% of the time. No wheat 90% of the time. No processed foods 90% of the time. My cardio is speed walking at incline on treadmill or eliptical.

So, I completely understand why you are afraid to gain weight. I feel like I am living my own weight nightmare right now, even while being escatic about being pregnant again, this is not making my pregnancy enjoyable. I want to stop the madness!

I am so sorry you are going through this, but so glad you posted cause I am going through the same thing! I lost over 100 lbs prior to my first pregnancy. I kept the weight off for many yrs and during my first pregnancy which was 8 yrs ago, I gained 55lbs even though I watched what I ate and exercised up to the day I delivered. This time around I started off a good 5 lbs over my normal weight, and at 18 weeks I have already gained almost 20 lbs! In 1 month from DR scale I put on 10lbs!!! I am eating abut 1800-1900 per day (which is about 50cals under maintenance, and i am not eating back exercise cals. I only do this to prevent even more weight gain, I am certainly not trying to lose. I asked my dr about it and she wasnt really too concerned, but she said alot of times during the 1st and second trimester if you are gaining more than expected it may be due to too many carbs as being pregnant causing some insulin resistance. For the past week I cut way back on carbs, and really only getting carbs now through fruits and veggies, and when I checked my weight after 1 week I was up 3.5 lbs!!!!!!!!! ARGH. Its funny cause other than my belly, I dont "feel" bigger. I know my legs are a tiny bit bigger, and my arms, but still. At this rate I may gain 100lbs.
Anyway you are not alone!!! I cant even go and read the thread about how much people have gained cause its just too depressing. Maybe you should just stay off the scale! During my last pregnancy, I would leave the DR in tears after weighing in. IF my wgt continues to increase at the same rate I am going to start getting on the scale backwards and not even look at the number!
Dont be discouraged!! Not matter how much you gain you can get it off!!!

Hang in there girl! I would definitely try to get a hold of some maternity clothes that fit you, it will make you feel so much better! I felt the same way, I started at my all time low (I weighed 138, a number I hadn't seen since grade school) and now am at an all time high. It is SO HARD to tell yourself you are gaining for a good reason!

I'm so glad you have a suppotive husband and try real hard to listen to what he is telling you. I had a guy make a comment "wow, that's going to be a BIG baby" and I found myself not eating much for the next week. SO NOT HEALTHY! But my hubby caught on and reminded me that I'm supposed to gain weight and my doc told me I'm a perfect size so not to stress out about it. Take a deep breath, give your self permission to cry about it, and remind yourself that it's for a very good reason and your baby will thank you! Good luck hun!

Thank you for starting this conversation. I have spent the last 24 hours crying and feeing very very down about what my body is doing with this pregnancy.

This is my 4th pregnancy. But its been 10 years since my last pregnancy. I have a 17 yr old, 15 yr old and 10 yr old. I was a healthy weight with all 3 previous pregnancies. BUT I gained a lot with each one. 1st - 65 lbs, 2nd-45 lbs, 3rd 90lbs!!!!!!!! I lost the weight from the 1st 2 with in 6 months of giving birth. But with my 3rd I only had lost 50 of those 90, recently 20 right before I got pregnant, so I was still up 40 lbs from my goal weight when I got pregnant this time.

So....thats where I begin. Down 50, but still up 40. This is the biggest I ever started out pregnant. And as you can see, I have a history of gaining a lot of weight when pregnant. Before anyone jumps on me about the weight you need to know, YES i ate healthy, YES I exercised, NO I did not eat junk food!
I promised myself I was only going to gain 15-20 lbs with this pregnancy. I have continued to track cals and continued exercise. ( 1200-1500 calories, 30-90 min cardio, eating back some exercise calories)
I gained 10 lbs at my 8 wk appt. and contined gaining 10 lbs monthly. Currently I am 24 weeks and am up 40lbs!!!!!!!
This is impossible when you do the math. Hormones? Must be...., retaining water? YES.
I am DEVISTATED to say the least. I dont even know what to do, and my OB simpliy says that this is what my body does when pregnant. I never lost all the weight in the 1st place, now I will have to start out again up 90lbs!!!!! or MORE!!!!!

I am having a very hard time with self esteem after every dr appt. I am having a very hard time with even being on MFP and reading about all my prego friends maintaining weight, gaining very little weight, and even some losing weight while pregnant!!!!!
Is there anyone else out there like me???? Because I am ready to lose my mind! And my OB's answer is just not cutting it with me.

And for the record: I eat whole foods. Organic 90% of the time. No wheat 90% of the time. No processed foods 90% of the time. My cardio is speed walking at incline on treadmill or eliptical.

So, I completely understand why you are afraid to gain weight. I feel like I am living my own weight nightmare right now, even while being escatic about being pregnant again, this is not making my pregnancy enjoyable. I want to stop the madness!

Honey, I stopped looking at the "How Much Weight Have You Gained" thread about a week ago. I'm not trying to be mean to anyone, but it really bugged me to see people around my timeline in pregnancy complaining about having gained 10 lbs because I've gained over 30. (I was up 33 lbs at 24 weeks, which was my last OB appointment. And those women are just as entitled to be upset over their smaller gain as I am to be upset about my bigger one - so I just stopped reading that thread.) My jump from the previous OB visit four weeks earlier was 10 lbs! Considering I didn't have that big a jump over Thanksgiving and Christmas, and my eating hasn't changed, I don't get it. The only thing I know to be different is that I am retaining water like crazy. My OB knows about this and says that I just need to cut down on the sodium (done), drink water with lemons or lemon juice (which I was already doing), and elevate my legs in the evening (hard to do and be comfortable + not lie flat on my back).

You might just be like me, and no matter what we do, we gain. It just happens sometimes, unfortunately. You can see what I just posted above - I'm trying to make peace with it. I'm 25w4d today, so you and I are in a similar place - keep in mind that we really don't have *that* far to go. I mean, we're not about to deliver (hopefully), but we're almost in the third trimester.

Just keep eating healthy, and try not to stress too much. I know that's easier said than done, but you're not alone, either!

I've always had issues with self-esteem and weight--even outside of pregnancy (especially because I'm in the military)--so it's definitely a struggle. It's more about feeling like I'm making bad food choices and not living up to my potential to be the healthiest I can be! I read a Joel Osteen devotional this morning that reminded me to let go of the past and look forward:

At some point or another, we are all "trapped in a poor, defeated mentality, focusing on problems and always complaining about obstacles. But, no matter what we've gone through in the past, no matter how many setbacks we've suffered or who or what has tried to thwart our progress [sometimes we even cause our own setbacks], today is a new day, and God wants to do a new thing in our lives. Don't let your past determine your future."

I have to admit that too often I get stuck in the "poor, defeated mentality." At least every day that I wake up, I know I have the opportunity to do better!

I had to stop reading the 'How much weight gain' thread too. I am gaining more than is expected, but I did start this pregnancy about 15lb lighter than my first, so I'm trying to say positive. I keep hoping the gain will level off occasionally. Last time I bloated like crazy and then lost a lot during the birth (I was only 4lb above my start weight a week after the birth!). I want my priorities after the birth to be breastfeeding, bonding and helping my little boy get used to the intruder in the nest, not worrying about my weight.

No, you are not a lone. Before I got pregnant I had a total weight loss of 93 pounds. My total weight loss now is 85. I'm 28 weeks pregnant and have gained 8 pounds. On top of just being pregnant, I am Bulimic as well. It's a devastating experience for me at least. I'm at the point now that even sticking to my 1590 calorie intake each day is going to result in me most likely maintaining my weight now since I'm in my 3rd trimester and the baby is going to start gaining weight. I feel gross and the little bit of confidence I did have went out the window after realizing there is nothing I can do about a weight gain at 1590 calories a day and changing my calorie amount for the day (decreasing) is out of the question because it can affect the baby's health.