Deal breakers
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Not really, they always start off all nice and sweet, but then all of the sudden you cook some pasta too long or something and they lose their ****.My only real deal breaker is she can't be a raging psycho b**ch. Been there, done that too many times. I guess she can't be a crack *kitten* either, not that I've dated one, I'm just assuming it would bug me after a while.
sound like psycho b*tch was your type for a while if you had to go through it too many times to realize you don't like it. :laugh:0 -
my deal breakers are:
Smoking
drug use
stagnent life style
significant emotional dependency0 -
I totally agree, and from the bit I know about you their father is about 5 hours away? So for you to also leave for a week would be hard on them. My kid's dad is a long distance truck driver and he can be gone a week or two, but he is around alot when he is home. He loves them alot and I don't think he would ever pack up and move.... and I wouldn't either, becuase I respect we both need our relationships with them.
Funny comment from one of them though (he let their mom take them across Canada after they split) 'I'd rather it be tougher on me, than on the kids' I felt like saying 'buddy you have no idea how tough it is on them, just becuase you are the one here sacrificing letting them leave, they suffer the most' but I kept my mouth shut.
Their dad is about 12 hours away and we don't have any family in the area, so it definitely would be a bad thing for me to be gone so much.
You know, my ex has made so comments that are similar...he's even recommended splitting the kids. That one killed me. I told him that there was no way in hell I'd ever split them up. That was just his way of trying to get out of child support anyway.....It drives me crazy because I know wonderful men that would kill to have their kids all of the time and then there are the exceptions that are just so horrible.
Sorry 12 hours. He suggested you split up this kids? There is someone clearly not thinking straight.
I've had friends whose daddy badly had never once seen the child come out of nowhere asking for 100% custody to avid child support lol. Guess they don't realize just how much kids cost.
lol daddy badly = baby daddies.. gotta love typing on the ipad0 -
Not really, they always start off all nice and sweet, but then all of the sudden you cook some pasta too long or something and they lose their ****.My only real deal breaker is she can't be a raging psycho b**ch. Been there, done that too many times. I guess she can't be a crack *kitten* either, not that I've dated one, I'm just assuming it would bug me after a while.
sound like psycho b*tch was your type for a while if you had to go through it too many times to realize you don't like it. :laugh:
LOL you are to funny!0 -
Thanks for all the input, I seriously was just curious becuase I had never encountered this before and wanted opinions.
Being divorced is one I won't bend on, but you are right just becuase they aren't seeing their kids doesn't mean it does not break their hearts. Case in point, my kid's dad. He hasn't seen his 2 first kids since 2004. Not from lack of trying, we spent 10's of thousands of dollars in court for him, she was nasty. But then, you get that baggage too.
All a case by case, I agree.0 -
I dated one woman who was seperated and I'll never do it again. As far as moving away from his kids, my uncle divorced when my cousins were around 10 and 12. He moved three hours away. He made the drive every other weekend to their mom's house and either brought them back to his place, took them to our grandparent's house or stayed in town and did things there. When the oldest could drive, my uncle bought him a car so he could do some of the driving.
I think you need to take a look at the signs and not make broad statements that living X hours away from the kids automatically means disinterested father. There was a hell of a lot of effort on my uncle's part. He certainly isn't a self-absobed hedonist. About a year after his divorce, he met his second wife. They dated about 2 years before marrying and have been together for about the last 30 years.
I am not making a broad statement, I was asking for opinions. And at the end of the day, it is what the person is most comfortable with themselves... dealbreaker for some, not for others.
Your uncle made a damn good effort, I give him props.0 -
I agree on the separated thing - in my state "separated" is not a legal status, so you are either married or divorced, and I'm not dating a married man! Def would not date a man with kids either.
My dealbreakers are smoking/drugs, religious, not educated, no career/ambition, socially conservative.0 -
Number 1 deal breaker for me is continuous DRAMA / chronic complainer!
Everyone has problems in their lives, some more than others. It’s the women that seem to have endless drama in their lives and they blame all their issues on someone or something. Constantly b!tching about their neighbor, boss, co-worker, ex, car, Fox News, cell phone, income, cable bill, red lights, weather etc. HUGE turn off.0 -
Number 1 deal breaker for me is continuous DRAMA / chronic complainer!
Everyone has problems in their lives, some more than others. It’s the women that seem to have endless drama in their lives and they blame all their issues on someone or something. Constantly b!tching about their neighbor, boss, co-worker, ex, car, Fox News, cell phone, income, cable bill, red lights, weather etc. HUGE turn off.
haha love your list of what they complain about.. Fox News made me LOL
But I totally agree, always negative people take you down with them.0 -
Number 1 deal breaker for me is continuous DRAMA / chronic complainer!
Everyone has problems in their lives, some more than others. It’s the women that seem to have endless drama in their lives and they blame all their issues on someone or something. Constantly b!tching about their neighbor, boss, co-worker, ex, car, Fox News, cell phone, income, cable bill, red lights, weather etc. HUGE turn off.
haha love your list of what they complain about.. Fox News made me LOL
But I totally agree, always negative people take you down with them.
hahah he must be a Democrat or date them and they actually will watch Fox News which is skewed to the Right wing.0 -
I dated one woman who was seperated and I'll never do it again. As far as moving away from his kids, my uncle divorced when my cousins were around 10 and 12. He moved three hours away. He made the drive every other weekend to their mom's house and either brought them back to his place, took them to our grandparent's house or stayed in town and did things there. When the oldest could drive, my uncle bought him a car so he could do some of the driving.
I think you need to take a look at the signs and not make broad statements that living X hours away from the kids automatically means disinterested father. There was a hell of a lot of effort on my uncle's part. He certainly isn't a self-absobed hedonist. About a year after his divorce, he met his second wife. They dated about 2 years before marrying and have been together for about the last 30 years.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make the broad statement of X hours...there are exceptions and a committed father like your uncle would win my heart in a minute if everything else meshed with us. I have just met a a lot of men that are willing to pack up, leave their kids behind and start a "new" family. It's a major turnoff to me.
Other dealbreakers for me would be.... excessive drinking/going out, drug use, no ambition, rude to others (especially his family)0 -
Must love animals.0
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I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make the broad statement of X hours...there are exceptions and a committed father like your uncle would win my heart in a minute if everything else meshed with us. I have just met a a lot of men that are willing to pack up, leave their kids behind and start a "new" family. It's a major turnoff to me.
Other dealbreakers for me would be.... excessive drinking/going out, drug use, no ambition, rude to others (especially his family)
Not a problem. I was using my uncle as an example. There are plenty of men who live 6 blocks away who don't bother to see their kids. My only point was that you should take the time to learn the situation and not summarily dismiss someone because he has kids and they don't live nearby. Especially in this day and age where there is Skype and other technologies.0 -
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make the broad statement of X hours...there are exceptions and a committed father like your uncle would win my heart in a minute if everything else meshed with us. I have just met a a lot of men that are willing to pack up, leave their kids behind and start a "new" family. It's a major turnoff to me.
Other dealbreakers for me would be.... excessive drinking/going out, drug use, no ambition, rude to others (especially his family)
Not a problem. I was using my uncle as an example. There are plenty of men who live 6 blocks away who don't bother to see their kids. My only point was that you should take the time to learn the situation and not summarily dismiss someone because he has kids and they don't live nearby. Especially in this day and age where there is Skype and other technologies.
Oh, I won't automatically dismiss a man because of the distance. Usually the proximity of a child and father's involvement isn't something that's brought up until a few dates in.....I like to get to know a man before talking "kids". So, I will talk to him about the whole situation before deciding. My deal breaker is definitely not a broad "If you don't live a block from your kids, I'll have nothing to do with you", it's more to do with "how involved are you" and "how involved do you try to be". Shoot...last guy I dated lived here in VA and his daughter was in Germany......the mother fled and he's been fighting for years to get her back. This showed dedication to me. Again, all situational. :flowerforyou:0 -
i'm curiour to know more about what are deal breakers for guys...0
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i'm curiour to know more about what are deal breakers for guys...
Just like women, it varies from person to person.0 -
i'm curiour to know more about what are deal breakers for guys...
1) Must not judge me because they've had an ex that had the same hobby as me (nothin sucks more than being judged right out of the gate)...perfect example...video games, I enjoy them occasionally, but I'm not going to be a hermit and never want to go out, trust me I'd much rather be spending time with my significant other than ignoring them in a virtual world).
2) Must not make me feel like I'm doing all the initiating (this one is tough, but it drives me crazy if I feel like I'm constantly doing all the talking and they refuse to give me any input)
3) Disrespecting others because you don't agree and/or understand where they are coming from...I really try not to be a judgmental person and hope I can find someone who can see things from others point of view.
4) Almost forgot to add this one...having goals in life is a must, i've been with a few women who are content doing nothing with their life and would rather just party and float along...I have goals and find myself driven to them, so I have problems relating to those who don't.
And...well the others that have been covered before such as racism, sexism, religious obsession, etc...0 -
i'm curiour to know more about what are deal breakers for guys...
1) Smoker. I can be friends with someone who smokes but I can't be in a relationship with a smoker.
2) Religious, goes to church every Sunday type. I'm I think the word is agnostic. On the fence about it all. I never cared for going to church. It's just not for me. If she is the church going type and is ok with me not going, then great. Otherwise it wouldn't work out in the long run.
3) Couch potato, a girl who isn't active at all. I'm by no means an athlete with single digit body fat %, nor am I looking to only date an extremely fit girl. I need a girl who at least cares about being active. I used to live a rather sedentary lifestyle in the past and I can't ever see myself going back to that let alone be with someone who is.
4) Racist, anti-gay. Yeah, no. I'm straight but I can't be someone who feels that way.
5) Height. Anybody under 5 feet would just be too awkward. My back hurts thinking about it. :laugh:0 -
5) Height. Anybody under 5 feet would just be too awkward. My back hurts thinking about it. :laugh:
It's not your back you need worry about!!!!!! :laugh:0 -
5) Height. Anybody under 5 feet would just be too awkward. My back hurts thinking about it. :laugh:
It's not your back you need worry about!!!!!! :laugh:
The term "I'd climb that like a tree" comes to mind - Anna, you should get a shirt that says that! Haha0
