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MEN....Is this true?

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tx_angel77
tx_angel77 Posts: 34 Member
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I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.

I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex! We stopped talking for a while at one time and I met someone and started dating him. When that ended, the "friend" and I were friends again but he expressed that he was bothered by me dating someone else. I have told him that I care about him but have had no response in regard to that. Fast forward....

This "friend" now works out of town and we haven't seen each other in a month or better and have had the occasional "good morning" text etc. Now he is in town to visit his kids and I'm getting all of these texts with hearts and kissy faces. I'm "baby doll" and "sweety" all of a sudden!! I don't get it! Please help me understand..... Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?

Any insight from a guys point of view would be awesome? Thanks

P.S. Please go easy on me. I am still fairly new at this dating "game".
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Replies

  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    everybody is different. you can't find one rule that applies to all people in all circumstances.

    i think texting is one of the worst things that has happened to dating though. it's an impersonal way to communicate and dating should be anything but impersonal. maybe tell him that if he wants to speak with you he should pick up a phone where you can have actual, meaningful and nuanced conversations.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    I don't have a problem with texting, and based on the story you are giving me, you don't have a problem with it either. So that aside...

    Yes, everybody is different so all we can do is speculate. The information you have given sounds fairly normal. He was into you, you started dating someone else, he moved on. Suddenly he's back in your area and single, so he sees it as an opportunity to try again. At least that's what it seems like. It comes across as perfectly normal to me that while you're otherwise taken he stepped out of your life. It's respectful of your prior relationship.

    So yeah, take it as a sign of interest.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    How does he use the words "baby doll" and "sweety"? Maybe he just thinks you are his long lost daughter
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    Sounds like he's looking for a big commitment. Don't be surprised if he proposes in the near future.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Hate to break it to you, but you're a booty call, friend with benefits, whatever you want to call it.


    Nothing more. Nothing less.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    He's in town and he wants some. Therefore, overly sweet texts.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
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    Generally speaking, men think if they've tapped it once, they'll be able to tap it again. Plus there doesn't need to be the 'I don't sleep with him until X date' preamble because you've already slept with him.
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
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    I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.

    I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex! We stopped talking for a while at one time and I met someone and started dating him. When that ended, the "friend" and I were friends again but he expressed that he was bothered by me dating someone else. I have told him that I care about him but have had no response in regard to that. Fast forward....

    This "friend" now works out of town and we haven't seen each other in a month or better and have had the occasional "good morning" text etc. Now he is in town to visit his kids and I'm getting all of these texts with hearts and kissy faces. I'm "baby doll" and "sweety" all of a sudden!! I don't get it! Please help me understand..... Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?

    Any insight from a guys point of view would be awesome? Thanks

    P.S. Please go easy on me. I am still fairly new at this dating "game".

    I think that your first sentence is true. If a guy likes a girl, he goes after her. No matter how shy or how awkward he is.... especially if she is up for texting. Texting is the not-so-smooth guy's date heaven.
    If he's suddenly texting now that he's in town... its probably just a booty call. Wait til he goes back and see if he texts as much as he is now.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    Honestly, I got this far:
    I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.

    I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life.

    And thought that was a euphemism for sex and skimmed the rest.

    MY BAD!
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    Don't confuse them with the facts once their mind is made up! They're too busy being judgmental and doling out "tough love"
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    So we are all on a quest to get in each others pants? Wheres the LURVE?
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex!

    Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?

    Obviously he works for Chapstick and does marketing research for them. That explains the travel and the lack of game. Do you notice any different flavors? Does he switch from apple to cherry or mint?
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    So we are all on a quest to get in each others pants? Wheres the LURVE?

    Not everyone, just the people we have boners for. And ideally when two people have mutual boners for each other the 2(+) of them boner together.
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    So we are all on a quest to get in each others pants? Wheres the LURVE?

    Not everyone, just the people we have boners for. And ideally when two people have mutual boners for each other the 2(+) of them boner together.

    Wow. Your killing me with the romance right now.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Options
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    So we are all on a quest to get in each others pants? Wheres the LURVE?

    Not everyone, just the people we have boners for. And ideally when two people have mutual boners for each other the 2(+) of them boner together.

    Wow. Your killing me with the romance right now.

    Bonerific.
  • tx_angel77
    tx_angel77 Posts: 34 Member
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    How does he use the words "baby doll" and "sweety"? Maybe he just thinks you are his long lost daughter




    This..... He tries to kiss me and hold my had and not in a brotherly way if you know what I mean. LOL
  • tx_angel77
    tx_angel77 Posts: 34 Member
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    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?


    Thank you!! :)

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