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MEN....Is this true?

tx_angel77
tx_angel77 Posts: 34 Member
in Social Groups
I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.

I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex! We stopped talking for a while at one time and I met someone and started dating him. When that ended, the "friend" and I were friends again but he expressed that he was bothered by me dating someone else. I have told him that I care about him but have had no response in regard to that. Fast forward....

This "friend" now works out of town and we haven't seen each other in a month or better and have had the occasional "good morning" text etc. Now he is in town to visit his kids and I'm getting all of these texts with hearts and kissy faces. I'm "baby doll" and "sweety" all of a sudden!! I don't get it! Please help me understand..... Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?

Any insight from a guys point of view would be awesome? Thanks

P.S. Please go easy on me. I am still fairly new at this dating "game".
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Replies

  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    everybody is different. you can't find one rule that applies to all people in all circumstances.

    i think texting is one of the worst things that has happened to dating though. it's an impersonal way to communicate and dating should be anything but impersonal. maybe tell him that if he wants to speak with you he should pick up a phone where you can have actual, meaningful and nuanced conversations.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    I don't have a problem with texting, and based on the story you are giving me, you don't have a problem with it either. So that aside...

    Yes, everybody is different so all we can do is speculate. The information you have given sounds fairly normal. He was into you, you started dating someone else, he moved on. Suddenly he's back in your area and single, so he sees it as an opportunity to try again. At least that's what it seems like. It comes across as perfectly normal to me that while you're otherwise taken he stepped out of your life. It's respectful of your prior relationship.

    So yeah, take it as a sign of interest.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    How does he use the words "baby doll" and "sweety"? Maybe he just thinks you are his long lost daughter
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    Sounds like he's looking for a big commitment. Don't be surprised if he proposes in the near future.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    Hate to break it to you, but you're a booty call, friend with benefits, whatever you want to call it.


    Nothing more. Nothing less.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    He's in town and he wants some. Therefore, overly sweet texts.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    Generally speaking, men think if they've tapped it once, they'll be able to tap it again. Plus there doesn't need to be the 'I don't sleep with him until X date' preamble because you've already slept with him.
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
    I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.

    I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex! We stopped talking for a while at one time and I met someone and started dating him. When that ended, the "friend" and I were friends again but he expressed that he was bothered by me dating someone else. I have told him that I care about him but have had no response in regard to that. Fast forward....

    This "friend" now works out of town and we haven't seen each other in a month or better and have had the occasional "good morning" text etc. Now he is in town to visit his kids and I'm getting all of these texts with hearts and kissy faces. I'm "baby doll" and "sweety" all of a sudden!! I don't get it! Please help me understand..... Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?

    Any insight from a guys point of view would be awesome? Thanks

    P.S. Please go easy on me. I am still fairly new at this dating "game".

    I think that your first sentence is true. If a guy likes a girl, he goes after her. No matter how shy or how awkward he is.... especially if she is up for texting. Texting is the not-so-smooth guy's date heaven.
    If he's suddenly texting now that he's in town... its probably just a booty call. Wait til he goes back and see if he texts as much as he is now.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    Honestly, I got this far:
    I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.

    I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life.

    And thought that was a euphemism for sex and skimmed the rest.

    MY BAD!
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    Don't confuse them with the facts once their mind is made up! They're too busy being judgmental and doling out "tough love"
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    So we are all on a quest to get in each others pants? Wheres the LURVE?
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex!

    Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?

    Obviously he works for Chapstick and does marketing research for them. That explains the travel and the lack of game. Do you notice any different flavors? Does he switch from apple to cherry or mint?
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    So we are all on a quest to get in each others pants? Wheres the LURVE?

    Not everyone, just the people we have boners for. And ideally when two people have mutual boners for each other the 2(+) of them boner together.
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    So we are all on a quest to get in each others pants? Wheres the LURVE?

    Not everyone, just the people we have boners for. And ideally when two people have mutual boners for each other the 2(+) of them boner together.

    Wow. Your killing me with the romance right now.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    So we are all on a quest to get in each others pants? Wheres the LURVE?

    Not everyone, just the people we have boners for. And ideally when two people have mutual boners for each other the 2(+) of them boner together.

    Wow. Your killing me with the romance right now.

    Bonerific.
  • tx_angel77
    tx_angel77 Posts: 34 Member
    How does he use the words "baby doll" and "sweety"? Maybe he just thinks you are his long lost daughter




    This..... He tries to kiss me and hold my had and not in a brotherly way if you know what I mean. LOL
  • tx_angel77
    tx_angel77 Posts: 34 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?


    Thank you!! :)
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    what if you have a friend that isn't trying to get into your pants and really trying to get to know you? lol.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    what if you have a friend that isn't trying to get into your pants and really trying to get to know you? lol.

    .... then it's friendship.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    what if you have a friend that isn't trying to get into your pants and really trying to get to know you? lol.

    .... then it's friendship.

    what if I want to get into his pants? lol. :bigsmile:
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    what if you have a friend that isn't trying to get into your pants and really trying to get to know you? lol.

    .... then it's friendship.

    what if I want to get into his pants? lol. :bigsmile:

    show him your boobs..he'll get the hint
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    what if you have a friend that isn't trying to get into your pants and really trying to get to know you? lol.

    .... then it's friendship.

    what if I want to get into his pants? lol. :bigsmile:

    :laugh: :laugh:

    Nola, get his pants down to his ankles and let mother nature do the rest!!!! :laugh: :wink:
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    did anyone read the OP? she said there has been no hanky panky how is she a booty call?

    There has been no hanky panky..... yet. Because they haven't had sex, there could be no way that he's trying to get into her pants?

    Ideally, if two people are into each other, the goal is sex cause that's what the main difference between friendship and relationships is.

    what if you have a friend that isn't trying to get into your pants and really trying to get to know you? lol.

    .... then it's friendship.

    what if I want to get into his pants? lol. :bigsmile:

    show him your boobs..he'll get the hint

    Exactly. Make him aware of your boner. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours!" Then when you boner together it's not friendship anymore.
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.

    I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex! We stopped talking for a while at one time and I met someone and started dating him. When that ended, the "friend" and I were friends again but he expressed that he was bothered by me dating someone else. I have told him that I care about him but have had no response in regard to that. Fast forward....

    This "friend" now works out of town and we haven't seen each other in a month or better and have had the occasional "good morning" text etc. Now he is in town to visit his kids and I'm getting all of these texts with hearts and kissy faces. I'm "baby doll" and "sweety" all of a sudden!! I don't get it! Please help me understand..... Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?

    Any insight from a guys point of view would be awesome? Thanks

    P.S. Please go easy on me. I am still fairly new at this dating "game".

    No, this is not true for me. If I feel she is not easily attainable, I don't even try. I'm apt to downplay my interest in this case. Most common reasons for this are that I don't see her enough to get to know her well, or she has a lot of guy friends, or she doesn't seem interested. Also, I'm at the point now where I've learned the secrets (which some guys never learn) about how to behave when you're first getting to know a woman, why some women appear "hotter" than others, etc. The answers to these questions have been quite refreshing and humbling, and I now realize I can't go after a girl just because I like her look. That is simply not a valid reason for being interested in a girl by itself, so I don't obsess over girls because of their look anymore. Unfortunately, most of the girls I like (the nice ones) and who like me and are good matches for me always seem to already have boyfriends. I don't like girls who are truly "badass" and mean. I will flirt if I really like a girl, but I don't play games, and hate it when girls do that to me.
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
    This guy seems like he is out for sex. Its actually pretty common: the forced intimacy and pet names to get you to feel special. Its all a ploy to get you to sleep with him. If he wants to date you, he will.However, he seems to want to get you emotionally close, so you will sleep with him if the opportunity arise. That's why men do it by text rather than over the phone. I would not even invest a ounce of energy in this guy beyond friendship.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    This guy seems like he is out for sex. Its actually pretty common: the forced intimacy and pet names to get you to feel special. Its all a ploy to get you to sleep with him. If he wants to date you, he will.However, he seems to want to get you emotionally close, so you will sleep with him if the opportunity arise. That's why men do it by text rather than over the phone. I would not even invest a ounce of energy in this guy beyond friendship.
    You heard that, OP. Never ever have sex with a guy you like.

    Especially if you're bad in bed.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    I have been told before that if a man really wants a girl he will make the effort to see her, spend time with her, etc.

    I have a "friend" that likes to pop in and out of my life. A text here and there and an occasional lunch date. He always wanted to hold hands and kiss. NO sex! We stopped talking for a while at one time and I met someone and started dating him. When that ended, the "friend" and I were friends again but he expressed that he was bothered by me dating someone else. I have told him that I care about him but have had no response in regard to that. Fast forward....

    This "friend" now works out of town and we haven't seen each other in a month or better and have had the occasional "good morning" text etc. Now he is in town to visit his kids and I'm getting all of these texts with hearts and kissy faces. I'm "baby doll" and "sweety" all of a sudden!! I don't get it! Please help me understand..... Am I being used when it's convenient or does he really care about me? He doesn't communicate at all and I am not really sure what he is after. Are we friends or more?

    Any insight from a guys point of view would be awesome? Thanks

    P.S. Please go easy on me. I am still fairly new at this dating "game".

    No, this is not true for me. If I feel she is not easily attainable, I don't even try. I'm apt to downplay my interest in this case. Most common reasons for this are that I don't see her enough to get to know her well, or she has a lot of guy friends, or she doesn't seem interested. Also, I'm at the point now where I've learned the secrets (which some guys never learn) about how to behave when you're first getting to know a woman, why some women appear "hotter" than others, etc. The answers to these questions have been quite refreshing and humbling, and I now realize I can't go after a girl just because I like her look. That is simply not a valid reason for being interested in a girl by itself, so I don't obsess over girls because of their look anymore. Unfortunately, most of the girls I like (the nice ones) and who like me and are good matches for me always seem to already have boyfriends. I don't like girls who are truly "badass" and mean. I will flirt if I really like a girl, but I don't play games, and hate it when girls do that to me.

    wait! are u real? and are you really a guy? I don't think I've ever heard a guy speak like this.

    if you are, whoever you end up with is a lucky girl :)

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