Grieving and eating

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This may sound stupid to some, but not to anyone that has/had a pet they loved. We just put down our 16 year old Shepherd this week, and I am devastated. I find that when I am down, I always tend to turn to food--and bad food choices, to cope.

I am absolutely shattered by the loss of the dog and I know that I am using the food to find a way to feel better and avoid the grief. Does anyone else have this issue, or any tips on what I can do? I work 60 hours/week, have kids, and have a slight disability that sort of keep me from exercising. Any ideas?

Thanks!

Replies

  • JaimeMWS
    JaimeMWS Posts: 36
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    I'm sorry for your loss. Here is one idea - set yourself a period for mourning. Many cultures have a tradition of some set period during which people follow rituals of mourning. (Jews sit shiva, for example; Roman Catholics may gather as a group of friends to say the rosary each day.) How long would you like to modify your behavior in recognition of your loss? 10 days? 2 weeks? a month? Give yourself permission to let your behavior during that period be modified to allow for your grief. Maybe decide on one daily treat that you don't normally eat but that is small enough that eating it once a day for this length of time isn't going to destroy the healthy progress you have made. Maybe create a simple ritual like, when the children are in bed, stepping outside with a cup of tea and looking at the stars and being thankful for the companionship of your late dog and allowing the tears to come. Decide on a ritual end to the mourning period - when you are going to return to normal life. (Not that you won't continue to feel grief at times, but the first sharp pain will have passed.) What will you do to mark that? Maybe go to a park that you loved to go to with your dog, and find something that speaks to you? Maybe bury the dog's collar in a special place in your yard? Decide on something that would be meaningful to you. (Maybe involve the whole family in this - your children are probably hurting too, and giving them permission to talk about grief and loss is a good thing to do.) Decide that when your mourning period is over you will return to the eating habits that you know are healthy for you.
  • mmc23
    mmc23 Posts: 42
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    I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. The above ideas are all good ones. If you are looking for contact with dogs (if its not too soon for you to face them) maybe you could look into volunteering as a dog walker at a local shelter.

    Giving yourself permission to grieve is an important first step. Take care.
  • RobynUnfiltered
    RobynUnfiltered Posts: 62 Member
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    Missing your animal is not stupid at all. Dogs are like family, but you need to take care of yourself. Maybe some short walks during the day would help your mind and body?
  • PhylNYC62
    PhylNYC62 Posts: 11
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    Thank you all. I have to say that I have been struck at this time, more than any other, that I eat to avoid unpleasant emotions. I have tried to stay busy and when I found myself going off, did not stray too far.

    I have 2 other dogs at home, but he was by far the favorite of mine.
  • knitwit0704
    knitwit0704 Posts: 376
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    Oh. This was for a dog. I guess I can understand. I'm sorry for your loss, I'd bet it is just as bad as me losing my grandfather, since you loved it, I loved him. I'm sorry.

    But I'm totally understanding grieving and eating (because of my grandfather)...
  • angelgayla
    angelgayla Posts: 56 Member
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    You don't sound stupid to me. Losing a beloved pet is like losing a member of the family and that loss needs to be mourned. It's difficult to not to turn to food for comfort. It does get better with time, the pain eases and the memories of your pet become joyful.
  • shandi_b
    shandi_b Posts: 153 Member
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    Missing and grieving for your pet is not stupid. They are part of your family. *hugs* to you.
    I am struggling with the same thing myself, my 13.5 year old golden retriever passed away in his sleep on Friday night, we knew we wouldn't have many years left but didn't expect it to be so soon, he was still eating and acting normally and he recently had his checkup with the Vet and was given a clean bill of health apart from arthritis.... I don't think it's something you can be prepared for and it hurts. :(
    I try to keep myself busy.....read books, surf the Internet, housework, even naps on the weekend to avoid eating. The first few days after I ate at what would be maintenance....I wasn't losing but not putting on either.
    I have another close friend and she is also going through the loss of her 16 year old dog, she puts time aside to light a candle near a picture and "meditate".
    I know this is a rambling post, but I guess I am trying to say is be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve and do things to keep yourself busy instead of trying to fill the emotional hole with food. (hard I know....). :(.
  • bbl2013t
    bbl2013t Posts: 49 Member
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    i can't grieve and move on without binging on junkfood