Overeaters Anonymous (OA)

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OA Meeting Etiquette

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operavagabond
operavagabond Posts: 84 Member
in Social Groups
I just attended my second OA meeting this week and I'm really loving the openness and acceptance that radiates from the meeting. Being a lifetime compulsive overeater means I've been a complete isolator in my disease - and that translates into being very socially awkward among strangers. So when I was handed the OA new members packet, I was a bit surprised everyone in the room put their name and contact phone number. Does that mean they really want me to call them for questions? I have lived a life of avoiding social interaction, so I can't really believe people actually want strangers to call them asking about OA. And even if I gathered up the courage to call one of the people, I know I will totally shut down and just make an awkward mess of myself. (I know this might strike some who know me people as odd, since I am a former opera singer - but to that I have to say that singing opera is very different from talking about personal things to strangers. First of all, in opera, the music and words are scripted and every performance came with hours of preparation and practice. However in the real world, I used my opera singing and compulsive overeating as a shield against social interaction.)

So my question to my friends in the OA board - is it okay to call any of the people who gave their numbers on the welcome packet? And if so, what in the world can I talk about that won't be awkward?

:) Thanks for being out there!!

Replies

  • Terri_Wickwire
    Terri_Wickwire Posts: 149 Member
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    As we say "Welcome Home!!". Yesterday I made three phone calls; 2 of them were messages, one picked up (and I got BIG hugs from the two women I left messages from in my Saturday morning meeting today!). In my Saturday morning meeting, we pass the "basket", where if you want to make -- and receive -- a phone call during the week, you include your name. As a "re-tread" (someone who was in the Program, left, and returned -- mine after a 16 year absence), I still received a Newcomer Packet and was so grateful to have all those names and phone numbers to contact!! It took me awhile to begin making outreach calls. Sometimes, it's leaving messages. Sometimes, it's connecting and the person at the other end says "thanks for calling, I'm heading out the door but I do have five minutes."

    I believe in the power of the fellowship. Those people shared their numbers not just for YOU, but for THEM too!! We cannot keep what we have found in Program unless we give it away. They shared their numbers with you so that 1) you can truly find that you are not alone and 2) to keep their own Program strong and viable. Sometimes, when I make that outreach call, it can stop the negative voices in my head -- and that voice is almost always telling me "it's ok to take that one little compulsive bite, cause after all, it's just a bite." You are not only strengthening your Program, you have the opportunity to strengthen theirs, too.

    I've taken down numbers at all the meetings I attend. I then put them into my cell with "O.A." after their name. Then, when I feel the need for speed -- being connected -- all I have to do is search for O.A. and I receive a plethora of people that I can connect with. The phone is one of the Eight Tools of Recovery. It helps break the isolation that many Compulsive Overeaters feel, experience and heal from.

    Keep Coming Back -- it WORKS!! :heart:
    :flowerforyou:
    http://www.oa.org/newcomers/tools-of-recovery/
  • PattiUnleashed
    PattiUnleashed Posts: 37 Member
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    Hi,
    I can understand feeling more confident with opera. I am a musician and when I play sax in the bands I play in I have confidence. But not as much in person with people. Our disease is one of isolation, isolation feeds it (literally). My sponsor has asked me to make one, just one outreach call a day, and I have as of yet to make that goal. And you can simply call someone and say something like, "Hey, it's ____ from the Wed. meeting, just thought I reach out and call and see how you are doing." Then just let it go from there. If they didn't want anyone to call them then they wouldn't have put their phone number down.

    HTH,
    Patti :)
  • julesoa
    julesoa Posts: 68 Member
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    I am working on this one too. And I agree with everyting that has been said so far. My default setting is to isolate and I know that that is exactly waht my disease wants me to do. I find it really hard to pick up the phone and call someone even though I have lots of OA numbers in my phone. I like it when people call me! I realise I am being pretty selfish and self centred when I don't make calls and I need to get over myself about it. Funnily enough this weekend I was at a meeting and a question was asked 'What can I do to make my meeting stronger?". We had a couple of minutes silence to think about it and the very strong thought that popped into my head was "Call someone every day". I know that was my HP speaking to me because it was so strong. So I shared the thought and I am trying to do it one day at a time. I made a call yesterday and it was lovely. Today I plan to make one too. "Together we can do what we could never do alone". :flowerforyou:

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