Hating exercise/no endorphins?

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Adirafox
Adirafox Posts: 107 Member
This is actually a question for my husband, not myself. Personally, I love to exercise and get a huge high after exercise. If I had my way, I would spend my day at the gym!

My husband hates to exercise. Hates it. He says he never feels those endorphins, he just feels sick when he is finished. He is only slightly overweight and is quite strong considering his almost complete lack of exercise. He has recently started exercising very moderately with me.

I thought maybe it was because he was out of shape and as he got into better shape he would start to enjoy it more, but he used to be in the army and did pt for 1.5 hours daily for about 2 years (before he was able to finagle it so that he literally didn't do pt again for another 2 years), and he says that even during that time, he STILL hated it, STILL felt sick after, and never felt any endorphins.

My question is, will this ever get better? Nobody likes to do things that are unpleasant, and right now his only motivations are 1) me, 2) trying to lose his beer gut, and 3) a desire to live a long life. Unfortunately, I feel that those are all more or less external motivators.

Any advice for him?

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  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    What types of exercise is he trying?
  • Adirafox
    Adirafox Posts: 107 Member
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    He can't do cardio because his knee is really messed up and where we currently live biking isn't safe. (We will be moving in the next year, and will have good access to bike trails, and he really wants to start biking once we move)

    We have been doing short HIIT routines....like 10 minutes short.
  • bumblebums
    bumblebums Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Has he tried strength training? There are men out there who don't like it, but he might be more inclined to try it than a Zumba class, if he's anything like your typical guy.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    He can't do cardio because his knee is really messed up and where we currently live biking isn't safe. (We will be moving in the next year, and will have good access to bike trails, and he really wants to start biking once we move)

    We have been doing short HIIT routines....like 10 minutes short.

    HIIT? Yeeks, that used to always make me nauseous when I first started. I still don't like doing it, years later. Have him pick up a beginner strength program and/or do some other, lower-impact cardio to start out with.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
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    HIIT is rough for someone that is out of shape
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    What about the elliptical or swimming?
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
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    If he really wants to bike would it be out of the question to get a bike rack and drive to a safer area to ride... Are you able to join a YMCA and use the pool... I have severely bad knee's and like swimming laps as an alternative on those days where my knee's are acting up.... The Y also as seated exercise machines like seated elliptical, arm bikes, row machines, to name a few....
  • Adirafox
    Adirafox Posts: 107 Member
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    We don't have a gym membership, so it would have to be at home, and we don't have room (or the money) for any large equipment here.

    The other issue that I might not have emphasized is how much he HATES exercise. The reason I started having him join me on the HIIT workouts is because they do so much in such a small amount of time. I don't see him spending a lot of time lifting, or driving somewhere to ride his bike, as he dislikes the activity so much that he isn't going to do things that take an excessive amount of time.

    I promise, I'm not trying to be difficult here, I'm just trying to figure out if there is any way for him to EVER enjoy working out. I'm also wondering if anyone has heard of people NOT getting that endorphin rush? Remember, when he was in the army he did pt daily for 1.5 hours/day (so he was in good shape) and said he hated it the whole time, and always felt ill afterwards.
  • bound4beauty
    bound4beauty Posts: 274 Member
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    I don't really think this is a question that any of us can answer. I don't particularly like to exercise either. I'd much rather lay on the couch and read. But I know I have to so I pull on my big girl panties and get my *kitten* to the gym or over to my nieces house at six in the morning to run with her. Yes, I feel great when I'm done but mostly because I'm DONE! I don't know that I've gotten that "runner's high" but I do sometimes get a little tingly. That's nice but it's not enough to motivate me to get off the couch.

    He has to want to exercise. Whether he enjoys it or not. It would be great if he could find a sport he loved. When you get passionate about something, then you find the motivation to excel at whatever it is you are passionate about. Maybe he should try joining an adult softball or soccer league. I know you said you can't afford any equipment but maybe it wouldn't cost too much to join a sports league or check to see if there are any affordable martial arts classes in your area. But, the bottom line is that he has to be self motivated. Doing it for you or chasing after that elusive endorphin rush is not going to be enough.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    We don't have a gym membership, so it would have to be at home, and we don't have room (or the money) for any large equipment here.

    The other issue that I might not have emphasized is how much he HATES exercise. The reason I started having him join me on the HIIT workouts is because they do so much in such a small amount of time. I don't see him spending a lot of time lifting, or driving somewhere to ride his bike, as he dislikes the activity so much that he isn't going to do things that take an excessive amount of time.

    I promise, I'm not trying to be difficult here, I'm just trying to figure out if there is any way for him to EVER enjoy working out. I'm also wondering if anyone has heard of people NOT getting that endorphin rush? Remember, when he was in the army he did pt daily for 1.5 hours/day (so he was in good shape) and said he hated it the whole time, and always felt ill afterwards.

    I've never gotten any endorphin rush from working out, personally. I do feel pretty good about myself when I hit a new record on my deadlift or something though. That's more of a feeling of accomplishment though.

    Really, you just have to find something you enjoy. Swimming, running, biking, kayaking, whatever. Weight lifting (bodybuilding, powerlifting, strongman, crossfit, bodyweight routines). Martial arts, boxing....yoga... Sports? Basketball, soccer, etc?

    He's just gotta try stuff until he finds something he likes. Apparently he doesn't like HIIT. Or at least it makes him sick. Have you looked into why he's feeling sick? Too much exertion, too fast can leave someone feeling sick. Working your way up might help alleviate this. Poor diet can lead to poor recovery from workouts too. I used to get really shaky, nauseous and headachy after cardio. Not enough food, too low blood sugar. I would put some sugar in a drink (not much, a tablespoon) and drink it right as I finished the workout and I'd be fine.

    Having said that, I always hated even the thought of exercise. It wasn't until I found lifting that I really enjoyed it and have stuck with it.

    At the end of the day, it doesn't sound like he's really all that interested which doesn't bode well.
  • Adirafox
    Adirafox Posts: 107 Member
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    I think y'all are right.

    He recently gave up Mt. Dew and his stomach got so much flatter, so I'm hoping that as he sees the changes, he will like that enough to keep at it.

    I think the best thing I can do is to just persevere and hope to either 1) find something he likes or 2) make him do enough exercise that he just gets used to it.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    To add to everyone else's comment, I detest cardio and most types of exercise that do not involve a barbell, so I do not do them. I don't do it anymore, but I used to really enjoy ju jitsu however. To me, unless it is lifting, I do not enjoy cardio for cardio's sake. However, activities in general, like martial arts, hiking, roller skating...whatever, will give you a caloric expenditure an not seem like cardio as the primary purpose is not burning calories. I find walking not too bad as I poodle around being nosy around mah 'hood, especially if I have a destination n mind (usually the coffee shop). One other thing I have done instead of cardio is the 'lift weights faster' thing - low weight complexes.

    It really is find an activity that you enjoy.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    Locking so we can track active threads better. If you have further questions, please PM me, and include a link to this thread and I will unlock so you can pose them.
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