I consider dating a form of torture. I have never really enjoyed it at any point in my life. I was getting married the same year I turned 30 and decided that 30 wasn't so bad afterall. Then the floor was ripped out from underneath me 2 months before our wedding when I found out he was cheating on me. Needless to say, turning 30 really did suck. I am now 33 and I have done nothing find myself the last 3 years and do everything I have wanted to do. It's actually been very eye opening and I now know what I want in life and who I really am. Yes I do want to get married and a have a family, but I just haven't met the right person yet. One thing I have learned in the last 3 years, is that being single does have its advantages, so you just have to take the good with the bad and keep on with your journey.

I've learned to try to think out of the box for ways to meet people. I have joined several Meet-Up groups that offer groups with my interests. I have a movie group that I go see movies with. There's travel group for when I want to go somewhere but don't have anyone to go with. There is really a group for every interest. Try Meetup.com - they are all over the world and in almost every city in the US. I've tried on-line dating, speed dating, mixers, lock & key events (friends usually drag me to these type of events) and I am still looking for Mr. Right. I could right a book with some of the dates I have been on and some of the people I have met. I think I have met everytype of person there is out there. I know Mr. RIght is out there somewhere, but I am going to keep on doing what I want to do in the meantime.

my plan is to lose weight and then start talking to random women at the grocery store. How could that not work? haha

I honeslty am just going to take some time to myself and work on me. Mr. Right will have to practically fall in my lap to catch my attention at this point.

This! Besides, working a full time job and being a single mom to a two year old doesn't exactly leave me a lot of time to find someone. I'll get "back in the game" at some point but there are more important things right now and it'll happen when it happens.

This is a topic I've talked about a lot with friends. I was in a relationship for 5 years as I entered my 30's. I took about a year off and just spent time with friends. Dating in your 30's for me is both better and worse. First, at least for me, I finally have a very good idea of what I'm looking for. And being a guy that's never been married I have to be honest and say I had to get over commitment issues. But I have observed that there isn't nearly as much "game playing" by either men or women in the 30's. There is still some out there, but not nearly as much. A downside is that many people have been hurt badly and have problems trusting other for various reasons. It's hard, but you have to remember that everyone is different and not out to hurt you.

As far as finding people, currently I have been very lucky and have been dating an incredible woman whose best friend in high school was one of my best friends in college. She moved back here after being a travel nurse to help take care of her mother. We were friends for a couple of years and I finally got up the courage to ask her to take it to another level. Needless to say, my confidence was not what it needed to be. I feel in no way worthy of being with her. She's beautiful, intelligent, fun, and caring. I struggled for awhile really not thinking I was good enough for her. Then one of our mutual friends laughed when I said that a few months ago and when I looked shocked, told me she had said the exact same thing about me. lol Sorry for breaking off on that tangent, but I'm not always focused when I think of her.

Other than blind luck though, I met several people that I dated and am still friends with at different activities. I was in a rut of not doing anything but working and going home. It was hard, but I started going to events by myself and just meeting people. Wine tastings were big for me, personally. Then I joined a canoeing club which was an old interest. Met lots of great people and expanded my circle of friends.

After that ridiculous wall of text, my best advice is this. Be strong and confident and realize that some people are going to say no. Don't take it personally or let it get you down. If you keep trying, you will find someone worth spending time with and eventually you will find that one for you.

The hardest thing for me is to find a man with similar interests. I have lots and would be happy just sharing one or two, but are quite uncommon for the country I live in. If I can't have a proper conversation about an interesting topic, I even lose physical interest. My uncooperative brain has way too much control over my body and doesn't even let me enjoy good looks.

Been single for two years, meeting people is hard. I don't drink, so meeting in a bar isn't ideal for me. I have tried online, but its extremely time consuming. I'm trusting that I'll meet the right one at the gym! I have found that I'm more open to meeting guys as I like myself more. That has had a huge impact on my life. Good luck and keep taking care of yourself first!

Probably the best thing about dating in my 30s is that I know what I want and need in life and in a man. The worst would have to be that it seems everyone is just looking for a bootie call. I mean I'm 39 and I have just in the last week have had a 24 year old contact me wanting for a bootie call and a 44 year old contact me chat me up and want to meet for drinks after telling me he's in a committed relationship. OK WTH? I get the 24 year old just looking for some action, but the other guy??? Why tell me you're in a committed relationship then continue to try to chat me up and want me to meet for drinks? I mean I can totally see where he thinks this is going. I totally just wanted to ask him if the girlfriend would be joining us. lol

Came out of a 3 year relationship a couple of months ago and not really dating but can say that I find it hard to find people that you really click with.

I'm not even trying to date until I get my weight back down and feel like myself again. Being overweight, the whole idea of dating is just kind of unthinkable right now.

Best thing: I know EXACTLY what I want/need.
Worst thing: I CANNOT find it.

Still waiting/looking! (I am not searching for some idealistic person, either. I am very grounded.)

It's kinda like loosing your keys; you know they have to be there, but ...

The dating experience is different for everyone. I have been single for 2 years now. In that time I have dated a lot. I am looking for a relationship, but am not willing to settle. So single I stay. Oh well, the right one will come along at the right time.

I'm 36 and have been w/ my spouse since I was 19 years old. We were even friends before that, when we were young teenagers. Things haven't really been too good but never really too "bad" w/ us. We haven't had much of an actual relationship over the last the most recent years but we built 2 very amazing kids and get along great. We're really best friends more than anything who sleep w/ each other, at least that's how I saw it.

Due to getting together with her very young and never getting to open my wings and fly I separated w/ her at the end of August last year to be independent, on my own and open a new chapter in life that I never got to. She is going back to school so with financial constraints me being the sole income provider, I've had to stay at the place and even now today.

While I didn't spend 30 hours a week on dating sites (I browsed a little) and I never aggressively tried to meet women, I might take heat for this but what I feel like I've learned in my mid 30's is that really, there's nothing spectacular out there to find. It's no easy task finding someone and the single life, seems relatively lonely and boring. If you find someone that you get along with who cares about you, the grass really doesn't look any greener on the other side from my stand point. Dating is just silly display of going through a bunch of fake actions to get to know someone, one at a time. I truly feel for people who are single in their mid 30's and REALLY want to start looking for someone to settle down with and/or start a family before it's too late.

There's a big part of me that wants to be independent still and try to live the single life, but I just don't feel like it's something I NEED, maybe just want because I don't know what that's like. I'm not sure, pretty confusing part of life for me right now. Here's what I think I want and don't want:

1) To be independent, get a place of my own and live alone, try the single life.
2) To be able to have the OPTION of experiencing relationships w/ other women, on a friendship level really. To hang out.
3) To be able to respond to other women's flirts (?) maybe .. not sure.
4) NOT to find another "mate" or woman to settle down with, I don't want that at all right now.
5) I don't even really feel like having sex w/ other women right now. It's not on my list of things I want for some reason.

Really though, when it comes down to it, I like my spouse as a person generally. She's not perfect, I'm not perfect, I don't think anyone is or else they're not a human being but in comparison to losing her for life and having to "date" and blah blah blah, I just don't think my needs and wants are worth it in the end.

/endrant :indifferent:

The best thing about dating? Actually knowing what I want. I've been single for about 3 years after getting out of a 5 year relationship, and while early on there were times I freaked out over being single, I really enjoy it now. I get to do what I want when I want, I'm responsible for my own happiness, I don't have to deal with any arguments, I have my schedule and can stick to it. Wait, that sounds like a plug for being single. So the best thing about dating is just having fun. Not being concerned if they thing I'm "cool" or whatever the hip new phrase is, I think "rad" is back. So yeah, sometimes free food is involved and that's a bonus, but it's all about having fun.

The downside is not having that immediate support system. I have a fantastic group of friends, but when I need a hug at two in the morning they're not there. It would be weird if they were actually. But I have my dog and she s a first rate snuggler.

That's really it. Amazing conversations can happen with any number of people, I'm rarely lonely, even when I'm alone, I like my schedule, and I don't believe in lowering my standards.

I'm turning 30 in two weeks and i'm freaking out because I'm not married yet. Most of my friends are married w/kids, or they at least are in a relationship! What's worst is my last relationship ended four years ago. I keep telling myself that I won't be perpetually single forever, but the months just keep ticking by! I know that i'm a good looking person, but I rarely get approached by guys. Whats weird is I always did in my early twenties. Ahh well.....off to workout! lol

Where in the world to people in their thirties go to find someone?

I wonder the same!

me too