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You might have felt fine but she might've felt awful doing that. The thing is is you have no idea how the other person will react. This guy may not care...or he may have felt like "wow I just did all this and she broke up with me." So to me, better not go than go.
I disagree. Not going is just another attempt at controlling the emotions of the guy. You are assuming he thinks this is taking some plunge and attempting to save him from certain doom here. But you're right - you don't know. He may just want to enjoy some good company and you are taking that away from him.
Let's all assume the guy is an adult with a grip on himself and his emotions. If he invites a girl to go somewhere with him, it means he wants the company. If he is trying to take some sort of emotional plunge, he will make this known. Let it be his decision to mitigate his own feelings and intentions. He already knows she thinks it is too soon for a relationship. Let him proceed as he wishes.
Also, give him anal. It's the right thing to do for putting up with all this.0 -
I disagree. Not going is just another attempt at controlling the emotions of the guy. You are assuming he thinks this is taking some plunge and attempting to save him from certain doom here. But you're right - you don't know. He may just want to enjoy some good company and you are taking that away from him.
You have an excellent point here Chris :smooched: I didnt consider it from this angle, but I have been the subject of some guy thinking he could save me from myself too! It was rather annoying!! And completely uncalled for when I knew exactly what I was getting myself into.
I guess my only proviso would be to tell the guy straight that it would just be for 'company' (if you have no intention of progressing the relationship) and reiterate that you're not ready for a 'relationship'.
Obviously the guy could then turn round and say "but I at least expected anal" and then you can slap him and go on your merry way!! :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Obviously the guy could then turn round and say "but I at least expected anal" and then you can slap him and go on your merry way!! :laugh: :laugh:
Is that the only plausible reaction?
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Obviously the guy could then turn round and say "but I at least expected anal" and then you can slap him and go on your merry way!! :laugh: :laugh:
Is that the only plausible reaction?
I'm desperately trying to think of another based on 2 weeks dating and no sex yet.........hmmm! I'll come back to you :smokin:0 -
I ended things with him tonight. I knew based on his feelings he would be hurt ... didn't expect what he said. He told me he has fallen for me and he isn't giving up and he will fight for me! I don't even know what to say to that. :frown:0
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Sounds like another stalker has just been born.
I would just not return his calls or texts. If he still doesn't get the hint sleep with his best friend or something.0 -
Sounds to me like you did the right thing, if your heart isn't there it just won't happen. What he said seemed quite desperate though, I guess see how that goes but likely you'll have to give him the cold shoulder if he continues to make it weird0
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Sounds to me like you did the right thing, if your heart isn't there it just won't happen. What he said seemed quite desperate though, I guess see how that goes but likely you'll have to give him the cold shoulder if he continues to make it weird
I'm going to have to give him the cold shoulder. He called last night and I foolishly answered and he had me on the phone for an hour and a half trying to convince me to rethink things. I've never been in this situation ... where I have ended things and the guy wants to hang on and "fight for us" (as he put it). I feel like a truly horrible person.
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for something so new he shouldn't be begging or trying to convince you, he convinced you once (the approach and the dates) you tried and tested, it wasn't for you, that's fair, just don't fall for any emotional blackmail because his constant phoning and texting in my opinion is unfair, some people just never want to accept the truth. reality is, your just not into him and now he thinks throwing the ''falling for you'' or the ''I love you card'' will make you change your mind and everything will be all hunky dory. Don't fall for it, your just going to hurt yourself and waste your time.0
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for something so new he shouldn't be begging or trying to convince you, he convinced you once (the approach and the dates) you tried and tested, it wasn't for you, that's fair, just don't fall for any emotional blackmail because his constant phoning and texting in my opinion is unfair, some people just never want to accept the truth. reality is, your just not into him and now he thinks throwing the ''falling for you'' or the ''I love you card'' will make you change your mind and everything will be all hunky dory. Don't fall for it, your just going to hurt yourself and waste your time.
emotional blackmail ... pretty much, lol.0 -
Just ignore him Raige. You've done the right thing. The guy needs to move on, an he will eventually :flowerforyou:0
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Sounds to me like you did the right thing, if your heart isn't there it just won't happen. What he said seemed quite desperate though, I guess see how that goes but likely you'll have to give him the cold shoulder if he continues to make it weird
I'm going to have to give him the cold shoulder. He called last night and I foolishly answered and he had me on the phone for an hour and a half trying to convince me to rethink things. I've never been in this situation ... where I have ended things and the guy wants to hang on and "fight for us" (as he put it). I feel like a truly horrible person.
Fight for you? I would've laughed. You've been "dating" for two weeks!!0 -
Sounds to me like you did the right thing, if your heart isn't there it just won't happen. What he said seemed quite desperate though, I guess see how that goes but likely you'll have to give him the cold shoulder if he continues to make it weird
I'm going to have to give him the cold shoulder. He called last night and I foolishly answered and he had me on the phone for an hour and a half trying to convince me to rethink things. I've never been in this situation ... where I have ended things and the guy wants to hang on and "fight for us" (as he put it). I feel like a truly horrible person.
Fight for you? I would've laughed. You've been "dating" for two weeks!!
I know, screams desperate!0 -
I ended things with him tonight. I knew based on his feelings he would be hurt ... didn't expect what he said. He told me he has fallen for me and he isn't giving up and he will fight for me! I don't even know what to say to that. :frown:
Yeahhhh I had the same situation recently with an ex-boyfriend of mine that I've just grown out of. We initially started dating when I was about 17. 12 years ago!!! On and off for awhile. I was SO deeply in love with him at that time. Until he cheated on me and I found someone new and wonderful. I had gone back and forth a few years ago with my feelings for him and I think I just wanted to settle. At this point I'd rather be forever alone than settle for him. No offense to him, but I've realized he hasn't changed emotionally since I was about 18. I also don't find him as physically attractive as I used to. Now he's saying "I won't disappear on you" (like this other guy did) and that if he would want to be my "partner" if he got this new job because he would feel financially comfortable. I just can't do it. He has sent me a huge text message a few times expressing his feelings but.....I CAN'T! I have love for him because we've been close since a young age....but to just settle and marry and have kids with this person who I'm not "in love" with? I just can't. Better to rip off the Band-Aid now!0 -
Fight for you? I would've laughed. You've been "dating" for two weeks!!I know, screams desperate!
Seriously...0 -
^^^^ THIS.Fight for you? I would've laughed. You've been "dating" for two weeks!!I know, screams desperate!
Seriously...0 -
Even today he is still texting trying to see me. I tried to be nice about it ... but today put my foot down and was kind of harsh. His response? "I knew I didn't stand a chance" ... ugh ... how many different ways can you tell someone "I'm not interested" before they get it! :huh:0
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Even today he is still texting trying to see me. I tried to be nice about it ... but today put my foot down and was kind of harsh. His response? "I knew I didn't stand a chance" ... ugh ... how many different ways can you tell someone "I'm not interested" before they get it! :huh:
It is time to block him.0 -
Even today he is still texting trying to see me. I tried to be nice about it ... but today put my foot down and was kind of harsh. His response? "I knew I didn't stand a chance" ... ugh ... how many different ways can you tell someone "I'm not interested" before they get it! :huh:
I would be SO turned off at this point! Block/ignore for sure.0 -
Even today he is still texting trying to see me. I tried to be nice about it ... but today put my foot down and was kind of harsh. His response? "I knew I didn't stand a chance" ... ugh ... how many different ways can you tell someone "I'm not interested" before they get it! :huh:
It is time to block him.
Definitely!0
