I'm single and hoping to start dating sometime this year. I love to flirt, but I can also get stuck in the "once I weigh this much, I'll really get back out there" kind of mentality. I wish I could go back to the "good ol' days" before my confidence was replaced by an apology. I am certainly afraid of getting hurt again, but I'm forcing myself to understand that sometimes we may have to endure some pain in order to truly appreciate mutual and unconditional love.

2013 will be a great year - I can feel it in my bones.....

I was married for 8 years and have been separated/ divorced for two years. Since my separation from my exhusband I found myself always in a relationship but not with someone that I necessarily had a connection to, more so out of a fear of being alone. I just recently got out of an 8 month relationship with a man that I had almost NOTHING in common with...simply because i no longer feel like I need someone in my life to be validated.

Dating is a scary thing, especially with someone who struggles with her weight. Not many people have an interest in someone who isn't in good shape.

My next goal is to work on myself and get myself in a place where I feel good enough about myself that I'm not reliant on others.

I am 32 years old and I have been with my husband for almost 13 years we have 2 girls ages 7 and 11. Over the 13 years I have fought my husband about going on the net and finding girls to talk to. The girls always live way far away so it could never be where he could go and meet up with them, but still he is always talking to someone or more then one. I always find out and then we go back and forth and he stops talking to the ones that I know about. Until I find another well this last Aug 2012 I found out he was talkin to a couple of females again but this time one of them that he was talking to he thinks he has feelings for. She lives really far away and has a family of her own but none the less he told me he wants to not be together anymore. When we got together I was not very big I am 5'3 and I maybe was 120 pounds, not long after we got together I found out I was going to have his child. So trying to be the bigger person and wanting my daughters father to be here in her life everyday I have put up with more then anyone could or would ever know. It really makes me sad to think about the things I have let him do over the years but I really dont want my kids to have parents that dont live together. The sad thing is that he and I get along great we go out and do family things last year we went family camping about 7 or 8 times we do girls scouts stuff and everything.. On the outside we have always been the kind of family that my friends would tell me you are su lucky, people would tell him all the time I hope you know how good your wife is and he would just look at me like he didnt know what to say. The main trouble is he wont talk to me so he is always looking for someone else to talk to. I really beleave it is because I know him to well I have always been able to see past what he is doing and I can find out what he had going on. He has been in his own place for 2 weeks now and I still know what he is doing and I only see him a couple hours a night when he is here with the kids. Go figure he still comes over every night and makes dinner for me and the girls.. I feel kind of crazy because even though I know all the wrong he has done and I know he is talking to females again. I still feel this feeling like he is still cheating on me again... How do I get past all of these years and move on with my 2 girls and find someone who will look at me and only me when we are out in public, someone who will notice me when I walk in the door? I feel like he has sucked all of the life out of me how do you move on from that?
Thank you for any and all help

Dating in your 30's is fun and difficult all at the same time. In your 30's you know what you want, but it can be hard to meet people sometimes since most people are married and have kids (at least most of my friends are). I've done a lot of online dating which can be fun, but sometimes it's hard to meet genuine people with true intentions online. Technology has made it easier for people to meet, but it also has complicated things.... a lot of men seem to have a "grass is greener on the other side" mentality since they think they can meet someone better.... at least in my experience.

Well when I was dating I was doing the online dating thing it wasn't that bad....I had dates lined up for Fri,Sat and Sun one weekend....took a break because I've been sick just trying to focus on my health...but you can meet people just by going to the grocery store lol I know it sounds silly but by asking someone a question you could strike up a conversation.I met someone once.. they asked me a question then we started talking and exchanged #'s.

Recently turned 30 and single. Never really been into dating. I dont believe in the whole.. finding my other half. I love my life and I do fine with or without having someone. I dont depend on finding happiness.. I do that for myself.

my plan is to lose weight and then start talking to random women at the grocery store. How could that not work? haha

I think it would work just stay away from the frazzled women with screaming kids. They are in a hurry and might stab you.

The hardest thing for me is learning to trust people again... I miss dating and I do want to settle down have a family etc but after finding out at 5 months pregnant not only was my fiancee still married but also had another women pregnant trust is a big issue and has ruined my relationship since then.

Also time is a big issue I work full time in a high demanding job in advertising and have a 2 year old monkey to run after... right now I have other priorities and need to learn to be me again. Taking steps to regain my confidence through both my work and now getting more active is helping and I know it will happen when its right just not out to force it to happen.

My hardship is the new "body" that I have after losing weight and having to deal with that. Yes I have heard that if you meet someone and you love them then what you look like donest/ shouldnt matter, but is does matter to me that I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

I lost more then 120 pounds and I'm short (it turns out I'm actually petite and not big boned, amazing what was hidden under that fat lol) and I have a LOT of skin and flab much of which can only be corrected and toned with surgery (none of which I can afford). That makes me feel uncomfortable, hell I dont feel comfortable wearing tank-top and shorts or gasp a bathing suit.

Its not that I don't believe that I could find someone that would be "ok" with it, but more that I would have to tell that person ALL about how I lost weight and all the issues that are associated with that (i.e. emotional), and it cant just be part of my past that I can phase over, rather its something that would be a serious discussion and early on in the relationship. So for me thats the problem with dating at this time. I am hoping the longer I am used to my new weight and look I'm be ok with it.

I struggle with dating and I think a lot of it is my confidence. I have dated in the past, but it was usually with laid back friends that it was just best to be friends. Then again, I was choosing it, because I knew it would be safe. I am odd in that I struggle with asking girls out or taking that chance to ask them out. I always think you should be friends first, but then I get put in that "friend" zone and nothing more. I also think i will improve in that area a little bit as I continue to lose weight, but I have always been the "nice" guy even as a teen when I was in pretty good shape.