Good topic, I always think people's coming out stories are interesting.
I guess I'm kind of a late bloomer, I just came out last year (I'm 28).

Oh, you're the class clown I see. A late bloomer and all of 28? Oh puh-leaze sister. I was twice that when I came out. I came out 3 years ago (I'm 58 now). Well let me put it this way: I came out the first time 3 years ago. I've discovered really that life is a series of coming out. At least it is for me. It's funny. My partner, who I've been with now almost 2.5 of those 3 years, has been open his entire life but never "come out" to anyone. Ever. I've been out 3 years and "come out" to everyone.

But my first and biggest coming out was the first time I had ever uttered the words to another person in front of me. In June of 2010 I was so severely depressed my psychologist and psychiatrist gave me a choice -- go into the psych ward for few days voluntarily or they would have me committed. They knew I was within a day or two of attempting suicide. They knew because I told them. I had the plan, the means, everything. I never really knew why I was so depressed for so long, i just was. I had known I was gay all my life. I had played around with guys when I was younger, through college. But I was an only child, of an age where family and societal expectations were you got married and carried on the family name. And so I did. And I suppressed that part of me. For 35 years, I kept nailing the closet door tighter and tighter. And getting more depressed. And never made the connection. So I went into the psych ward. And it was in group therapy that rockets went off for me. Because there I met a lesbian and she talked about her wife. And the floodgates opened. THAT's what it was. I was gay and had never thought about it, never connected the dots. I'm a very smart man but about myself as blissfully ignorant as can be. I never even saw that. I never talked about it there. But I started thinking and thinking. And when I got out, I found an on-line community of gay men and joined. I knew when I joined beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was the only married gay man in America. HAH! After that was quickly disabused, I found many other men like me. I formed friendships with men exactly like me. I'd never had any friends because I was afraid to. Afraid they would find out my secret.

When I got out of the hospital, my psychologist told me I needed to find a new therapist. We had been together for almost 15 years, she was treating my wife still, so she thought I needed my own therapist. So she recommended someone (and she knows them all in town and took her time and basically interviewed several for me -- it was a considered process). So I started seeing my new therapist in August. A nice Jewish man. Active in the Jewish community center. After about 6 weeks and we had gotten to know each other, the time had come. I had to address it. I have never been more scared of anything in my entire life. I knew for certain he was going to throw me out of his office. Call the cops on the pervert. I couldn't even look at him. So with my head down, eyes closed "I think there is an 800 pound gorilla in the room we'd better talk about. I'm gay". There. I'd said it. For the first time in my life, I'd uttered the words out loud. 'I'M GAY". He took a second, thought, while I was dying, and said "let's talk about it.". And so we did. Every week for 2 years. Now I don't say I'm gay. I shout it from the rooftop. I grab the bullhorn. Much to my partner's chagrin.

I've come out dozens of times since. To my wife. To my trainer. To friends. To strangers. For me it is a never ending process. But I will never forget how terrified I was that afternoon. How powerful it was for me to simply say the words "I'm gay" to another person. Three years into my "gay life" and I don't even remember now what it was like to have to pretend to be straight. Now you measure my depression in seconds, not years.

And I have never been happier in my entire life. If you offered me a pill that would make me straight, I would knock it out of your hands. Because this is who I am, this is who I am meant to be. I am a gay man. I am damned proud of it. I love my life now. And I wouldn't change it now for anything in the world.

I knew I was trans* in High School (90s) but was really confused over it. There weren't resources and people didn't really know what it was (so few really do now). I tried coming out to my parents, but the words weren't there. I did tell them, but they found a teen sex book that said you had to be gay to be transgender. I wasn't then. Now that I'm out... I'm definitely questioning - and as I understand it, after I've been on HRT for a while I could tend lesbian, bi, or straight.

The second time I came out was in August. It started about a year ago when I was diagnosed with high BP and early diabetes (A1c of 7.5). I spent 9 months trying to fix it, but gave up after about 10 pounds (and kept it off... which is nothing short of a miracle for me). Finally, in August, I realized I had to fix the problem. I knew there was this other side of me - though I didn't really understand it. I had a lot of dysphoria recently too... So I started a diary and came out to myself over three days, trying to separate my weight and health issues from my gender issues.

It worked well... (too well - except for that I'm SOOOO much happier with myself now). I told my wife on the fifth day (it was actually the third try at telling her - since she didn't believe me the first two times). She broke down and is just now starting to act normally (and "act" is the correct word - she is still angry and feels betrayed by my 10 years of "lies" - but it is getting better).

I will be getting anti-androgens in December / January and estrogen in May (if all goes to plan - earlier if I leave the house earlier). My wife and I will be divorcing, probably after Christmas some time. We have 3 kids and a house to complicate things.

I also came out to the immediate family (and their SOs) on both sides. I wrote a letter and sat with them while they read it - in groups of 2-3 people. That was over a month ago and I'm just now starting to hear much of the aftermath.

Life can seem pretty bad right after coming out... but at least I have me (and my therapist, I suppose).

Reading all of your stories is truly inspirational

My story is a bit long and a bit complicated. I’m not going to spare you the details! It was a long struggle for me to accept who I am. And like others before me, required two coming outs and took some dark paths.

I’d always been attracted to girls but didn’t necessarily realize it. My first kiss was with a girl but we were “playing house” so neither of us thought much of it. Looking back, I realize I had a lot of crushes, I just didn’t know what they were. Fast forward a few years to puberty. I started having dreams- yeah THOSE dreams- about girls I knew. This devastated me for some reason. I thought out loud to myself one morning, “i… think I’m gay” and I cried. I cried for about a week before I decided I was sure and wanted to tell someone. I decided to tell my three closest friends.

My first friend, told me I was disgusting but we could still be friends if I never brought it up ever again and she never heard any details. My second friend was fine with it and we eventually ended up dating in secret (she’s very straight now, in case you were wondering). My third friend was also mostly ok with it but was concerned and decided to tell her mother. Her mother called and said, “ya know, you really should tell your parents” and arranged a sit down (my mom and her were actually good friends). I told my mom first. She said, “are you sure?” and I replied with “yes, I believe so.” She responded with “ok. Cool” it couldn’t have gone better! I was pleased as my relationship with her had always been strained.

Then was my dad. I was not going to be so lucky with him. We weren’t religious but my dad comes from a strong catholic background. We were super close. Most of my time spent at home was with him. He… exploded. He went through the stages of grief all at once. He cried at first. Then he got angry and he screamed at me. He told me I couldn’t possibly know what I want because I’m far too young and inexperienced. Finally he decided it was a phase. It had to be. I’d grow out of it. he made it very very clear that I was not his little girl anymore. This hurt more than anything I’d ever heard up to that point, including things I’d gotten from a verbally abusive mother.

While all this was happening, unbeknownst to me, friend number 1 had been telling anyone who would listen about me. Keep in mind, friend number 1 was my very best friend, and had been since we were about 7. Now we’re in eighth grade and the school quickly learns about my orientation. Oops. Some bullies reared their heads and this continued throughout the rest of my school days. So faced with increasing hostility at home and at school, I decided it was easier to just… go back in the closet; pretend it was, in fact, a stage.

I became very depressed and my self-esteem was nonexistent. I started dating guys (and by dating I mean sleeping with) because it was easier. It eased some of the tension at home and it definitely made my schoolmates lighten up, mostly. I still had some mishaps and run-ins but they were becoming much less frequent. I experimented with drugs. A lot. I almost failed my freshman year of high school. I started self-mutilating because it was the only way I knew how to get rid of the pain. I continued on this cycle of recklessness until my senior year. At that point, I decided to start actually dating one of my male friends.

My dad loved him. We were already fairly close and ran in the same circle. We stayed together for a long time. Far longer than we should have. He knew I was attracted to girls when we started dating. That wasn’t really a secret to anyone as hard as I tried to put on my straight party girl persona. The first few years were great. He moved in and we eventually both moved very far from home, to the other side of the country. I was in college and as I got closer to graduating, something changed. He wanted to get married. He knew very well and I made it very clear I did not want marriage. Or kids. Or anything of the sort. His whole personality had started to shift. He started berating me for nothing. He pushed me once or twice but I hit him back which I think is what stopped him from doing it again. I remember on one occasion, he screamed at me about how fat and lazy I was while I cried in a corner for what felt like hours. He tried to “accidentally” impregnate me on more than one occasion and eventually, against every bit of good sense I had, I married him. It was what my dad wanted and it was what everyone else seemed to want. This cycle continued, I got more depressed, and I got bigger and bigger. He later admitted he sabotaged my diet and tried to keep me fat on purpose so I couldn’t leave. The final straw was when he tried to force himself on me sexually when I clearly said no. that was it. I was done. I left and I filed for divorce.

At that point, I decided I was done making everyone else happy and I was don pretending a part of me didn’t exist. I re-came out to my parents. My mom was like, “oh sweetie, I knew that already. I was just wondering how long you’d keep this up.” My dad still didn’t take it well but better than the first time. He spent a long time trying to make me feel guilty for leaving my ex. Like, “oh I just don’t know how he’s gonna make it or what he’s going to do for money…” that sort of thing. I sat him down and I explained what exactly had happened to me. He stopped short of apologizing but he did acknowledge that he knew I was very much pressured into marrying.

To sum up, I’ve never been happier. I have an amazing girlfriend that my family loves and I love and who loves me for me. My relationship with my dad is still strained and he mostly won’t acknowledge my relationship but we’re getting better. My friends are all very much accepting and my family has warmed up to it too. My word of advice: never hide who you are. Sorry this is so long but I’ve been itching to share my story in hopes it’ll help someone else be true to themselves. It was a long, hard road to acceptance but I’m there now and I wouldn’t go back for anything. Thanks for reading

My story is boring, I just always knew I was gay and never kept it a secret. I don't think I really ever officially came out cause I wasn't "In"

I gotta admit, I'm a little envious of this

Reading all of your stories is truly inspirational

[...]

To sum up, I’ve never been happier. I have an amazing girlfriend that my family loves and I love and who loves me for me. My relationship with my dad is still strained and he mostly won’t acknowledge my relationship but we’re getting better. My friends are all very much accepting and my family has warmed up to it too. My word of advice: never hide who you are. Sorry this is so long but I’ve been itching to share my story in hopes it’ll help someone else be true to themselves. It was a long, hard road to acceptance but I’m there now and I wouldn’t go back for anything. Thanks for reading

This is truly inspirational! It's a heartbreaking story and I'm so happy you were able to find happiness and love!
I saw a few parallels with myself in hiding who you are and self mutilation because of family that just didn't understand.
♥

It was a memory I'd supressed and uncovered a couple months ago, myself. I'm really only coming to terms with it... but I didn't do any lasting harm (lol, I had kids, after all...). I'm not giving out details, but I plan to explore it a bit during NaNoWriMo (MIDNIGHT TONIGHT!!!!! ~~ I don't think I'll be awake for that - but I start tomorrow, early a.m.)

I think i knew.............i was Bi/Gay/LGBTQ for a long time. I'm thinking 12 probably. I always............want to touch one of my friends boobs........idk it was a thing. They were huge mind you and right there. Blah what's a 12 year old confused girl to do!

Anyway, I didn't finally accept who i was until I was a senior in High School. I still hadn't kissed a girl until freshman year of college though. I had a weirdly wanting friend in highschool that was like "yeah we could make out.....you know......just so you know......." Not attracted to her..........did not want. Don't **** your friends. A moral i shall always live by. Anyway, I had my ho phase and made out and did lots of stupid things with boys and girls blah. Fun silly times. I finally met a girl i was like...hm......she's pretty cool and i legitimately like her............she screwed me over 10 ways to Sunday and top it off...........due to this I was "forced" to come out.

I took her to a very nice restaurant and bought her drinks and food. Had a nice night etc. The next day i get a phone call from my father. He comes in and says he needs to drop something off.......cool whatever........but he had a certain tone in his voice. Naturally I freaked out. He basically confronted me and asked me if I was dating a girl. Apparently someone had told him and that I have been dating a girl. I'm assuming when i took her to this restaurant. Both my parents would not tell me who it was and attacked me and said I disgraced them. Feelings were hurt. They still do not approve in the slightest but it's moved to the background. Currently I have been in amazing relationship with a beautiful girl name Kelly for the past 2 1/2 years now. They still ask me whether or not i'm doing this "thing". I always just say i'm happy. It's still not great between my parents but it's not completely awful. Will they be there on my wedding day........probably not but they haven't totally shut me out so for that I am grateful. I have personally never had any problem with people in general. It took me a lot of time to get used to the idea but now Kelly and I dont care. We'll kiss and hold hands wherever we go. I have a great group of friends and I'm proud of myself. I still haven't come out to the entire Indian community but the people of my generation and age group pretty much all know and I have not received any hate thankfully. No fairytale but compared to most I have it pretty good. Felt i should share though

I don't know of anyone else in my family who's trans*... I don't know how genetic being gay or transgender really is. I think the current thought seems to be that the mother's hormonal balance during certain stages of development can influence it... which would have only a weak genetic predisposition.

I know I'm just starting to understand my new life... but I'm happier now, too (despite the pain). I'm really starting to think I'm more gay than hetero (that's still confused for me - I could be bi, too) and I won't know for sure for a while (HRT - it'll be like puberty again - only better).

I guess I should have had a point to this... I love your stories and I think I'm just a little envious of those who actually got the chance to experiment in high school and college, while I wasted my life being withdrawn.

I used to babysit a family who have two boys and a girl, all are gay!