Here's what I know. You are gorgeous and you are awesome, so I can't imagine what the guys are thinking.

you are stunning and seem so beyond sweet, those guys don't know what they're missing!

I feel you. I'm 43 and often feel like I missed the day they were handing out loving husbands and families, lol. Losing weight is taking up most of my energy right now, though. But I am happier than I was when I started so maybe the happy with come through as I keep going and maybe I won't give the stink eye to "the one" and scare him away if we ever meet :-).

Stay positive, cuz your soul and body are beautiful and anything can happen!!

Holy crap, I can so identify with this. Sometimes I wonder if my size is going to keep me from ever finding someone. And that's precisely why I'm trying to get down to a healthy weight.

Have any of you considered on line dating? I did it, and I was about 280 when I met my husband. As of January 1st, I was 338. I gained weight because I am happy and my husband loves me just the way I am. I know It is hard, but the right one will find you, you just may need to give them a little help! I met some weirdo's in the online dating scene, but my husband is 100% perfect for me. The crazy thing is, he was only one town over, and our paths had never crossed. We even knew some of the same people, but were never at the same place at the same time. He blames it on our age difference. He had sworn off dating 21 year olds and below when we met. Luckily for me I was mature for 21. Lol. I'll be 25 on the 10th, and he will be 30 in may. I wouldnt change a thing.

You are BEAUTIFUL. you may just need to put yourself out there!

i feel you and i hope you found all the happiness in this world. You are gorgeous and if i hadnt read your post, i would have assumed you have men fighting each other for you. The good thing is you know what you have to do and obviously, the physical transformation part of it is just a minor step, the mental battle being the real hurdle in your case. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel and who knows a year from now, you will be glad you pushed through. Good luck and all the best! Some guy is going to get real lucky very soon

Hi Starchile,
Some of the best advice my old boss ever gave me was that I had to work on my confidence at the office. He said that I had great skills but they weren't coming across because of my body language, and my overall modest-and-meek demeanour. I was a total hide-in-the-shadows wallflower. I was so sad and frustrated that I kept getting passed over and felt invisible.

He was encouraging me to work on my confidence in the context of helping me advance in my career… but I ended up applying his advice to my entire life, in a kind of unique way, well, I decided what better way to build my confidence than to take a class in burlesque dancing. Wow - I am so proud that I can say that! At the time I was 250lbs, with a big smile, a love of sequins, and was some how able to convey tons of attitude. The classes lead to a short-lived moonlighting burlesque career (omg - don't tell my boss!!!) in front of real (and very appreciative!!) audiences. Every time I got on stage, I realized that I had something unique and special to offer… and that the audience loved my confidence! I found so much size-acceptance in the burlesque community, it changed my life. Developing routines built my creativity, was super social and obviously, really changed for the better the way I value my self and my body.

To be clear, my paid work is in an artistic but business-y environment… a far cry from the shake and shimmy of the fun & fabulous burlesque world. But the base "confidence" I developed there was kind of like a newly found skill that I was able to carry into my workplace. Within a year I got a promotion at work and feel so much happier with what I am doing in my day-job! I stand up for myself and work hard to achieve my goals and be fairly recognized for my efforts. Not only that, but I am sure that it was my new-found confidence that helped me get out there and bring my best energy to meeting people and socializing. I am now in a happy & loving relationship!

In the meantime, my moonlight shimmying has ended… but I look so fondly on those times and what they brought me…

I'm telling you this story, one because it is so crazy unbelievable!, and two, because it has been my experience that sometimes we have to just go for it, and do something that challenges us and helps us grow, and have fun doing it. And the end result may be completely unexpected or take you on a wild and wonderful path to the destination you were always hoping for.

Legion

Hi Starchile,

I'm a male but I understand exactly what you are saying and where you are coming from. I do believe that the potential for many of the positive changes you speak about will increase dramatically as you get smaller. I think the best thing about what you shared is that this is probably a great motivator for you and will push you to get the results you desire.

Along the way I would bet that the changes you see and experience will happen both internally and externally simultaneously. But don't hide yourself at home cause love can't find you there. Many of us guys recognize and value inner beauty just as much, maybe more than external beauty.

Keep up the good work, you'll get there!

Hello everyone,

Maybe I am naive, but I don't think weight has anything to do with finding a husband. I have always been a big girl, I married my current husband when I weighted about 400lbs, He loves me and I him. I have never had trouble dating, in fact my skinny friends and have been married once before. As stated several times before, you are beautiful, and maybe your Boaz hasn't found you yet that doesn't mean that he is not coming. Just make sure you are ready and stay encouraged !



Hope to see less of you soon!