Binge-Eating Support Group

Join

I really need help..

AislingSionna
AislingSionna Posts: 2
in Social Groups
My biggest problem? I just keep binging day after day because I feel so full of junk..

You think that would make someone stop?

No. It makes me inhale more and more.. and I just feel horrid.

I now gained 55 pounds. My stomach is bloated out farther than my chest, my face is incredibly round..

I don't know how to 'start again' after being stuffed to full capacity. I just want to feel good again.. and I continue to have 10,000+ days.

I binged until 3am last night and just continued when I woke up. This needs to stop..

Replies

  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    I can understand 100%. My binges start a vicious cycle which then seem impossible to stop.

    I clearly eat due to emotional issues (95% of the time my binges never seem to come from actual physical hunger or out of depravation) so I eat because I feel bad about me, or I'm sad, stressed, angry, etc. and I'm a completely self-loathing person. So then I eat for all the above reasons, then the binge makes me feel worse, then I feel so bad the binges happen again.

    I fall into "that hell with it" mentality and the binges are pretty bad and then again I feel bad that I fell of the wagon, then I binge more. Etc, Etc, Etc ... that's exactly how it plays out.

    I am burning a candle at both ends. I eat because I feel bad, then I feel bad because I eat. Makes things really easy! (not)

    Anyhow, just know you're not alone. I wish I had all the answers but I don't. I am seeing a therapist and talking about my food problems, along with body image and mostly my self esteem (lack there of) I know all my issues stem from how bad I tend to feel about myself 24/7. Somewhere along the way I lost my value of self worth and it's been an ugly cycle for years and years so it's been very difficult to begin to heal myself and break the bad patterns. When you're used to feeling so bad about yourself, the concept of learning to 'love you' feels scary and foreign.

    (((((((((((((AislingSionna))))))))))))))))))
  • allisonrinkel
    allisonrinkel Posts: 224 Member
    You're not alone!
    I honestly do not have my binge eating under control as much as I would like. I feel like I have a "Binge Brain" and when It's decided on a binge or poor food decision, it's like everything I know goes out the window, and I have no mental control.
    Technically I guess I do have the control and don't exercise it? I don't know.
    Last night I had a binge on peanuts and Reese mini PB cups. I didn't eat all of both bags to myself, as we were at a friends place and were sharing, but I felt like I could not stop myself, and I did not want to.
    I was mad afterwards, because I KNEW I should not have done it. The second my mind wanted that sweet/salty combo, it was over. I was on the mission to get it. We were out to dinner with our friends, and my dinner choices were good, minus the two beers. I should have been satisfied at that, but nope.
    I'm really upset with myself today about it.
    But you know what, I know I shouldn't be. I know I have an eating disorder (I think) and sometimes I am out of control. But I'm not always out of control, and I'm better than where I was over a year ago.
    I think I need to make an appointment with someone to talk about this, since I kind of just keep a lot of it private. I think that it's going to be the only way I can gain some control.
    I don't want to tell you to "get help" but short of commiserating with others in the same situation, I don't know how to help. I'm sorry! I hope that you beat your binge.
  • GettingMooreInShape
    GettingMooreInShape Posts: 80 Member
    I totally feel this. I get in ruts where all I can do is eat until I feel sick, then eat some more because I feel so terrible.

    You have to remind yourself that food does not have any control over you. YOU have every bit of control over food. I know this is hard to believe when you're in a binge cycle, trust me I've been there, but for christsake its an inanimate object! Why do we let food control our lives? Food doesn't fix problems, but it sure as hell creates more problems.

    You have gained gained 55 pounds, but you have not yet gained 155 pounds, or 255 pounds. You CAN turn this around. Don't think about tomorrow, next week, or next year. Think about you, right now. Every minute that you spend on an activity other than bingeing is considered a win right now. Focus on the here and now.

    You can do this! I feel for you girl. It's the absolute ****tiest feeling in the world, but the only thing that will make you feel better is stopping. The first few binge urges are worst of all, but the less you binge, the less appealing binging episodes will seem.
  • eso2012
    eso2012 Posts: 337 Member
    For the past 2 years, I thought binge eating has left me forever, after losing 20+ pounds slowly and easily and became a workout addict. In Sept, I started small binges. Continuing till today, I am officially freaking out.

    Here is what I can offer
    1. I kept a blog on "post binge day X" - some people find that helpful. It helped me in Sept/Oct when I dealt with the beginning of my relapse.

    2. My binge eating is closely tied into my depression (I am on life long anti-depressant...but not suicidal..just biochemically imbalanced so very tired and can lack focus and get moody...but I manage to remain a successful professional)....it is a HUGE package to first diagnose then manage..and just when I thought all's good, guess somehow somewhere it got triggered into a small then big relapse. it may or may not be your case, but I know often binge-eating is more a symptom of something deeper and more persistent.

    3. Exercise. Seriously. The sweating, the endorphin, the soreness, all gives you instant gratifications. It helps to break you out of the vicious cycle.


    A few highlights from my blog posts
    1. Ignore that bloated feeling. (it is VERY hard, I find that difficult today)
    2. Workout
    3. Stay away from the scale
    4. U turn. Keep thinking, U turn. Do not think "hell, mind as well go all the way"


    Curious to know if it helps you at all. We are all in the same boat. TAKE CARE.
  • eso2012
    eso2012 Posts: 337 Member
    Oh something else. Someone reminded me that if you feel like "well, already put on X pounds, mind as well", you will add on even more in no time. It is important to put things in perspective. A few pounds extra should not govern you.

Categories