I feel for you. I have that exact same problem but my daughter is only 11 months old. My mum constantly says 'she doesn't need breast milk now she's just being greedy she doesn't need it that much' but my daughter nurses for comfort too so is on the breast quite alot in the day but that works for us. The comments that annoy me the most that I get every other day is 'when are you gonna stop that it's getting weird now, she's too old'. Luckily I have a very supportive partner and he encourages me to breastfeed for as long as I can/am comfortable with. The only thing I do really is ignore them, hopefully these people will one day change their views on extended breastfeeding and Iin the meantime I'll continue to enjoy the special bond that I have with my daughter.

I BFed my son until he was almost 2 yrs old as the WHO recommends. My immediate family didn't give me any problem, but extended family and acquaintances were a different story.
I always told them that WHO recommends based on the most current science and expert opinion so I am doing. If I felt snarky I ask the person if they obtained a Phd in infant /toddler nutrition or why they are pretend to know it better then expert at the WHO. Women designed to Bf for a few years, it is only this last century and making women boobs a sex object distort tghe notion that breast are there for breastfeed for a looong time.

Although I BF for that long, I stopped Bfing public around 9-10 months to avoid comments. In the second year , it was really just prior bedtime, after getting up, after picking up at daycare or prior naptime.

Also put you foot down NOW when it comes grandparents feeding him junk. This has nothing to do with BFing , but general tendency of grandparents. It will cause some tension between them and you, but you have to go for it, otherwise you are haveing an uphill battle for the rest of your son's childhood.

I like the idea of self weaning, but with my son it didn't happaned because even at age 3 he was not ready. I weaned in order to start hormone therapy as a preparation for a second child, and it was emotionally hard on the both of us.
The longer you Bfed the best your son immune system will be, and it lowers the risk of breastcancer for you. In any case go with the flow. If he wants it, and you are ok with it, go for it. It is really only the 2 of you business.

Are you planning any more kids ? Have you talked to your husband about that? When? If you are planning a second child soon, there is a good chance G wean himself during your pregnancy. The taste and whatnot is changes, and usually during the 2nd trimester the previous child wean himself.

Look up breast is best on fb they have all kinds of articles that you can show them proving the benefits of breastfeeding. I like you had the one year plan that has been extended due to babies desire to continue. However when I did start regular milk here and there while still breastfeeding, she broke out in hives. So now I'm back to just breastfeeding while tests are ran to see what she's allergic to. She eats table foods also. She loves onions lol.

My mother knows better than to say something to me about that... But if she did, I'd firmly put her in her place. I'm going to guess that your mother is an intelligent, reasonable woman who would read and understand any research to which you directed her or would appreciate anything you could quote.

Your MIL, however, is a different story. I am not a big fan of mine, and she has serious Open-Mouth-Insert-Foot Syndrome. Since I will never hear the end of it if I stand up to her, my understanding with my husband is that he deals with her, and I deal with my family. I'm suggesting your husband handle his mother.

This does mean that you need him in your camp. Why does he say anything bad about continuing to BF? Even if everyone else supported me, it would really bug me if my husband didn't support me. I suggest a real heart-to-heart/sit-down/whatever you want to call it wherein you explain that you need his support in this.

You're not weird for BFing past age one! As much as I'm dying to wean him, I have a distinct feeling J will be tough to wean :-/

Nobody really asks me about breastfeeding anymore, they just assume I have stopped because Max hit the magical 12 months (He's 15 months now).

I think the older generations are just used to having babies on formula or weaned at earlier ages. And some of them are clueless about nutrition in general - and want to feed babies pastries and crap like that.

For people that DO ask me, I tell them that Max has no intention of stopping and we'll wean when HE wants to (which could be tomorrow, or when he's 2). He only nurses in the morning and at night, and it works for the both of us and anyone else can piss off.

Also: my doctor told me that as long as breastfeeding was working for us, that she would recommend at least 18 months - so I offer that little tidbit to anyone who questions things.

I'm surprised that so many people care what other women are doing with their boobs.

High five to you for feeding your baby healthy!

Nobody really asks me about breastfeeding anymore, they just assume I have stopped because Max hit the magical 12 months (He's 15 months now).

I think the older generations are just used to having babies on formula or weaned at earlier ages. And some of them are clueless about nutrition in general - and want to feed babies pastries and crap like that.

For people that DO ask me, I tell them that Max has no intention of stopping and we'll wean when HE wants to (which could be tomorrow, or when he's 2). He only nurses in the morning and at night, and it works for the both of us and anyone else can piss off.

Also: my doctor told me that as long as breastfeeding was working for us, that she would recommend at least 18 months - so I offer that little tidbit to anyone who questions things.

I'm surprised that so many people care what other women are doing with their boobs.

High five to you for feeding your baby healthy!

Almost this exactly for me too. Caitlin is 14 months and people just assume we're done nursing. I feel it's a non-issue... until someone asks and passes judgment. I thought for sure my mom would be super supportive but instead she's taken the stance that I'm a b'feeding "nazi". I put her right in her place. My MIL is super supportive and so is my big brother which totally surprised me but is awesome. My husband shocked me the other day when I told him I was thinking about weaning myself from pumping. He said NO WAY, keep the breastmilk coming as long you can! That stuff is so healthy. Then he backtracked and said "I mean, I support whatever you want to do, it's your body. But that milk is important. Just my two cents." I thought it was amazing and helped motivate to keep up with pumping while at work. It's only once a day but I know you other pumping mama's know how I feel... 14 months strong.

It's only once a day but I know you other pumping mama's know how I feel... 14 months strong.

totally get this we've dropped to once at work and it's glorious...now I can fit in a workout on the other part of my lunch break!

Fortunately, my MIL is supportive and my own mom is just going with what we prefer, so I really feel for you in your situation. Every child is different, and you as a parent understand this best. Our first daughter breast fed for 18 months, but the last 6 or so of that she was mostly just feeding before bed and it was more of a comfort thing. Our youngest is 19 months now and still feeds three to four times a day - for real nutrition. I'm sure she'll keep it up for a while longer, which is great by me. She is not a very vigorous eater when it comes to solids, though we always present her with many healthy options and she eats what she wants. I've discussed this with our family doctor who says this is all fine - she's healthy, happy, and growing. The best suggestion I can give you is to talk with your child's doctor, who I'm sure will be supportive of your decision, and then let your un-supportive family know what he/she says. If your MIL tries to contradict your doctor... well... then she just has issues. You are doing what's best for your baby.

I've been lucky that nobody has given me grief about still BFing (14.5 months now). My mom thinks it's great, the inlaws haven't said anything, and it's the norm in my circle of friends. If I did hear any negative comments, I would also give the WHO/2 years bit of info, and depending on who the commenter was, I would also probably tell them it's none of their business. It bugs me when people are judgy about what parenting decisions mothers make, and I don't feel the need to defend or justify myself like I used to.

My MIL was holding baby J and gave him a peanut shell. My husband and I both saw it as it was happening, and we both jumped up to stop her. She was like, "Oh, yeah, allergies," but I told her not only allergies but he could choke on that as well. Instead of apologizing, she justified it by saying she thought he might like to suck the salt off the peanut shell. Um, no. Babies don't need salt. (Still no apology, just more justifications, which makes me understand why I never ever hear an apology for anything from my husband. Drives me nuts! I probably over-apologize, but still.)

She is one of those "this is how I did it, and all my kids survived, so you should be ok with it, too" types. Thank God my BIL is a pediatrician because he can reinforce things like that.

As for MIL issues, we had the exact thing as RBX happen over the holidays. We DO have a genuine fear about Rose eating nuts right now because she had a reaction to something that had the "may contain peanuts or other nuts" warning on the label. We won't know for sure until we see the allergist in a few weeks. DH had several conversations with his parents about this issue before we went to stay with them over the holidays. Sure enough, MIL gave the older grandchildren chocolates with nuts in them and let them run around while eating them, and of course they got food on the floor. She also offered to make plain chicken for Rose's lunch one day (the rest of use were having spicy), and when I asked what it was cooked in (we have to keep a detailed food journal until we confirm/rule out this allergy), she mentioned she'd added salt. I told her kids never need salt and got "Oh, it's just for flavour" as a response, and I went on a no-salt spiel that just resulted in a blank stare from MIL. She's also the "this is how I did it, my kids survived" type, too. We also had a heated debate about giving Rose a pillow and blanket to sleep with, but that's another story...

Anyway, your DH definitely needs to be on board when it comes to your MIL (or anybody) giving your little guy food without permission. If she's still not listening, you might need to step up, too, and you both need to stick to your guns. I've watched my MIL ignore BIL and ESPECIALLY his wife for the past 7 years, and it's a never ending issue. DH and I have learned a lot, and we now discuss before we head to their house what will we do if x happens, and while I try to let DH handle things first, I do step in and back him up when she's not listening. Fortunately for us there's 18 hours between us and our families, so these issues only pop up once in a while.

The whole thing is, quite frankly, nobody's business but your own! My cousin works is a senior research manager for the AAP and she talked to me about it (she gave me a six month goal, which was also my goal based on our lifestyle) and because of her work I found it to be a valid discussion. But too many people seem to give a damn about it!

I'm struggling with bf'ing at only 3 months. I'm not even sure I'll make it to six months. It went well until she started sleeping thru the night, then it seemed my supply dropped dramatically. We were out at a family party (my husbands side) this weekend and I must've been questioned by 15 people about our feeding habits.

Do what you want and F-*k the rest of them and their opinions! As for your MIL trying to give your baby junk food, I'd take a serious stand on that one. Ours is too little for that to be an issue yet, but we're already battling over the TV (people seem to think it's crazy that I don't want her watching it. If the news is on I turn her away from it. Otherwise, it's not on.) Our kid, our rules. I've made it very clear that if people can't keep their mouth shut re: our parenting style they need not come around.

As veganbettie said: Your boobs, your business.

sorry to hear you're struggling with supply lisapr!! Have you tried Fenugreek? I've always had an awesome supply but I really contribute that to my LO being permentaly attached to my breast, more milk out, more milk in.

Breastfeeding is the HARDEST thing i've done...It gets easy, but there are certainly struggles that no one really tells you when you have a baby.

No matter the length of time YOU decide to breast feed, you're doing a great service for your child and for your own health, you should be super proud of yourself and your body.

Thank you. I'm still trying, but it's been tough. If let-down doesn't occur within the first suck or two she'd scream and hit me. So they told me to prime with a pump. Well then I got lazy and figured I might as well just pump. So yeah, that went downhill fast. She still nurses about once a day--which, honestly, neither one of us seems to enjoy--but the rest is pumping and I know it's just not the same. I'm taking 3600+ mg of Fennugreek, plus several servings a day of Mothers Milk tea, but still need to supplement with formula. I know it's primarily because I'm pumping as opposed to nursing.

Add in the fact that she started sleeping thru the night at about a month old and it was a recipe for disaster.

Oh, and I was an IVF patient and we discovered I had ridiculously high levels of prolactin which we needed to suppress during part of the IVF process. I'm wondering if that worked a little too well...

But ultimately, we got out sweet little girl after years of challenges and struggles. Thank you for the support and suggestions. She's thriving on the combo so I intend to keep it up as long as possible, with the attitude that every little bit of breastmilk she gets is worth the effort! If we're lucky enough to have another, I fully intend to not "give in" or "get lazy" so soon!

I decided early on to be very confident about my parenting decisions, even if I don't always feel that way. People love when they see a weakness because it is an opportunity for them to get you to change your mind. My father is bad about that. He went on and on about the fact that we cosleep when she was almost three (he didn't even know about the breastfeeding), so I said "isn't it awesome? It also makes night nursing easier". He didn't know what to say. Lol.

100% true!!! My experience watching my MIL over step her boundaries with BIL/SIL's kids is because they show weakness (especially BIL, and it's his mom who over steps). We're fortunate to live far away and don't deal with the stuff they do, but when we're in town MIL knows me/DH are the bosses, and that's that.

jls8209 wrote: »

…I would also give the WHO/2 years bit of info…

I like this thread. 😁 Most children in it prob. aren’t nursing anymore, but maybe for others… The actual quote is, ‘Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.’ Yes! ‘Beyond!’ 😊 So nobody can stop you no matter how old they get. 😄 People are weird. They don’t get that you can’t force a child to nurse, that he/she does b/c of biological/psychological/developmental need, & will continue until the need is gone or until forced to stop. And forcing isn’t good b/c it’s a need. (Of course sometimes continuing is impossible, so that’s about all other cases.) Also, I think some people have tried to argue, ‘Those recommendations are only for the 3rd World.’ Uh, it’s not Third-World Health Organization! It’s not just the 3rd World where babies get sick or even die. Everybody needs maximum IQ. And our society is highly emotionally damaged—like we need more attachment disorder? 😒

jls8209 wrote: »

She is one of those "this is how I did it, and all my kids survived, so you should be ok with it, too" types.

🙄 …as if science has never progressed. With that ‘logic’, we’d all still be subject to bloodletting. My grandpa, who was not one of those types, once told me, in an ‘isn’t it funny how things have changed’ sort of way, ‘Back when we had kids,’ in the ’40s & ’50s, ‘there weren’t any car-seats. We just tossed the kids into the back of the car.’ 😅 There’s even a picture of me as a newborn being brought home from the hospital carried in the front seat. But by the time I was 2 or 3, car-seats were available, b/c I remember mine.

jls8209 wrote: »

As for MIL issues, we had the exact thing as RBX happen over the holidays. We DO have a genuine fear about Rose eating nuts right now because she had a reaction to something that had the "may contain peanuts or other nuts" warning on the label. We won't know for sure until we see the allergist in a few weeks. DH had several conversations with his parents about this issue before we went to stay with them over the holidays. Sure enough, MIL gave the older grandchildren chocolates with nuts in them and let them run around while eating them, and of course they got food on the floor.

😒 We live w/ my MiL, but she’s not like this. Very good about safety generally, & always asks if Anna’s allowed to have something. I don’t think she understands everything about allergies, b/c she saw Anna having a violent allergic reaction to rye toast, but some mos. later asked if Anna was allowed to have a piece of rye toast (so good thing she asks!), but food’s so complicated for Anna, I’m confused myself, even though I’m the one who has to try to solve the problems.

Anna 1st had solid food at 7 mos. but still gagged if it wasn’t a perfectly smooth jarred purée. Then she was allergic w/ FPIES to oat baby cereal. By 12 mos. the dr said, ‘You can give her anything, just make sure it’s in tiny pieces.’ I asked, ‘Even hard stuff, like apples?’ He said yes. So I thought, what if I gave her peeled, minced apple, but she totally gagged on it. She wouldn’t chew anything, not until 20 mos. old, & then it had to be Gerber Lil Bits, or slivers of Muenster cheese, or slivers of soft fruit w/ no skin (loose spheres & cubes tumbled into her throat), or something in a silicone feeder, but was allergic w/ FPIES to pizza (in the feeder). At 2, she could have baby puffs, little squares of toast & waffle, & Gerber ravioli cut in half, but then she was allergic w/ FPIES to rye toast (squares) & (soft bits of) french fries. Later she was able to eat Crunchies & crispy crackers. She still eats only soft & crispy stuff at 2½. Picks out tiny lumps of ground meat from toddler meals & leaves them on her tray, & still won’t or can’t chew all skins of fruits & vegs, or any leaf, like cabbage or spinach, raw or cooked. I’m still trying to figure out how to keep track of all the ingredients I know are OK for her so she can try new ones 1 at a time. (Anyone know? There should be an app for it, but I can’t find 1. Am trying to compile a database at least. Writing them down in a notebook, which I’ve heard of, would be disorganized—I’d have to read through pages searching for 1 ingredient of a new food, then start over for the next, & next… 😒 Don’t think the dr understands. Just says, ‘Just keep testing new foods 1 at a time.’ But that’s not the problem. Still can’t figure out what ingredients it was in the pizza or french fries—from Domino’s & fish-&-chips, so I guess there were additives, or something else in the fryer. Can’t take anything for granted now.) Our 1st baby was nothing like this. Could eat Cream of Wheat from the start, & every food ground in a baby-food mill within a mo. or 2. (I guess this was before allergy warnings.) By 12 or 18 mos. was easily chewing little squares of steak.

Rubyayn wrote: »

I decided early on to be very confident about my parenting decisions, even if I don't always feel that way. People love when they see a weakness because it is an opportunity for them to get you to change your mind. My father is bad about that. He went on and on about the fact that we cosleep when she was almost three (he didn't even know about the breastfeeding), so I said "isn't it awesome? It also makes night nursing easier". He didn't know what to say. Lol.

😄 Neither of mine could have it any other way. Inga had to be held round the clock, & only gradually less. We had a crib & if I laid her down in it, she woke up instantly & cried. Couldn’t even sleep in it w/ the side off, the crib pressed against the bed, & my arm around her. I was getting no sleep, & started to fall asleep holding her & almost dropped her. Told my husband it was unsafe & she had to sleep in the bed, so he was OK w/ it then. We tried putting her in her own bed when she was about 2½ or 3, but she started sleepwalking. Was found downstairs. Then I realized that was why, as soon as she could crawl, she had usu. gotten up at 1 AM & started crawling toward the end of the bed: sleepcrawling! Within a few seconds, I had had to wake up, sit up, & grab her. Otherwise she would have dove head-first off the bed. So after trying her own bed, she had to come back. When her baby sister was born, she had to get kicked out. She has still sleepwalked, but now extremely rarely. Came in the rm at night maybe a mo. ago, but the last time b/f that was prob. yrs ago.

This time we found one of the bassinets that goes in the bed, with 3 mesh & padded sides. Anna was OK w/ it. Could sleep in the crib usu. only about 2 or 3 hrs into the night. (At least I got a chance to take a shower & get a snack.) When she tried to climb out, she was straddling the highest part over the floor, by the corner of the footboard. So I had to take the side off for a toddler bed. But my husband thinks it needs a rail too b/f it’s safe for her, so I’m waiting for him to get one.

About confidence, what worked for me, to get people to stop, has been to just stay calm & repeat myself whenever necessary. (Well, I guess that isn’t enough for dealing w/ people handing out choking hazards or allergens.) People who keep causing problems you may have to see less of. If they get very dangerous or extremely obstinate, maybe not at all. Nobody has given us a hard time over nursing, co-sleeping, allergens, or choking hazards. But certain relatives did over other things:

• homeschooling (‘They won’t get socialized.’ Socialization & socializing are 2 different things—we, the godparents, the clergy, & Taekwondo teachers handle the 1st; the 2nd they can do at Taekwondo class, at church coffee hour, in the neighborhood, etc. And, ‘Inga will rebel.’ But later had to admit, ‘You’re doing such a good job w/ the kids,’ ‘She’s such a sweet girl,’ etc.)
• what language to study (Offered to buy us a Rosetta Stone as a present, asked what lang. we wanted; we told them Latin since we had already started working on it, b/c we thought it would have the strongest intellectual, & broadest cultural, benefits; they said it wasn’t practical, that we should pick a different one—bought it ourselves.)
• illnesses (Wanted us to come to a picnic when Inga had had chronic ear infections for mos. & still had a fever. Said sorry we couldn’t b/c of that. Then got persuasive calls from other relatives. Wanted to drop by to visit when I was sick w/ chronic mono. I said I was too sick. Doorbell rang when I was sleeping. Mysterious present on doorstep. Weakened immune sys. caused chorio. Anna was in the NICU w/ a feeding tube & w/ an IV in her head (so wild, had knocked splinted IV out of each hand at a few days old), I, still having mono (but not a bad episode of it at least), was recovering from c-sec. & major scar-tissue excision, & was up every 4 hrs to nurse her, to use a pump, & to clean parts. Not survival or the relief of suffering, but presents seemed to be the most important thing for relatives, except for one who sent a concerned note on the most important thing of all, not to ‘keep her from her grandparents.’)
• what church to join—who says this? (Political antipathy to certain doctrines. My husband was already a cradle member anyway. Just went back, & took me w/ him. Children already were too, even b/f we or the church—baptizing Anna incorrectly—knew it.)
• our stove/oven—so ridiculous! (Over the phone: ‘What if there’s a gas leak?’ Other relative sent to our house about perfectly functional appliance. Then we moved to where there was an electric one. Oven element malfunctioned & caught on fire, was professionally repaired, & it still happened again.)

This list could be at least twice as long w/ even more relatives. These relatives have never met Anna or seen us in the past 4 yrs or so. A few of them may be able to redeem themselves though.