I like being single at times. Granted, if I've broken up with someone it sucks for a while but once I'm over it, it's like a playground for me.

If I'm in my single mindset, it's all about fun and not getting caught up.

I've been single my whole life, and I have no idea if there is more than this. Obviously some people do, and I hope OP will too

For me? I highly doubt it. Been on my own this long and it's the only thing I know. But hey, life might surprise me, you never know

same. but also too anxious to really start anything with someone.

This mindset doesn't really make sense to me. I imagine you've been overweight to obese for a long time too. Yet you are here trying to lose weight. If you followed the above reasoning, wouldn't you just say, my body has looked like it does for so long that it's the only thing I know. I doubt it will ever change but life might surprise me?

I kind of get what you're saying, but in my mind you can't really compare these two. I haven't been overweight for that long, just trying to get back in shape. There are more things affecting my mindset when it comes relationships than loosing weight and getting healthy

I've been single for three years. . That is, It's been three years since I separated from my ex-wife. In that time I've suffered through many different phases and a multitude of different personality shifts. . I've been through long droughts and periods where I couldn't keep track of their names!

I'm also fairly introverted and so I find it very difficult to cultivate relationships. .especially with men. I think it would be easier to find a woman if I had guy friends to do stuff with but I just don't really know how to do that. .

It's even made more difficult by the fact that I moved, so the friends I had are distant. Also, I work from home, and I quit drinking.

I have dated a lot via match and more recently tinder. .but nothing ever seems to work out as a long-term thing. . partially because everybody lies on those sites and partially because I am focused on parenting my son and most women don't want to play second fiddle in a new relationship.

But one thing I've discoverd is that attitude is EVERYTHING!. . It's bizarre. . Women can sense your confidence through the ether via magic!. If you are feeling badass then women will respond to you if you are feeling downtrodden (like you seem to be) they will run for the hills.

You could write the EXACT same opener to the EXACT same girl at the EXACT same time on the EXACT same day and she will or won't respond based on how you feel about yourself. . I swear it's true. .

So. .the key is to get your badass on. . Get fit. . work hard. . do something worthwhile. . stop wasting time. . don't watch too much porn. . and become someone worth having.

Good luck!

Just deleted my pof account. My worst fears about myself were confirmed in the four days since I joined back up. Gotta forget being heterosexual and find something else to do with my life.

"Relationships" is one of these things were (theoretically) you only need to hit the jackpot once, so there is technically no need for "everyone" to be interested in you (or anyone). Sure it helps, but it's more a case of trial and error (and rejections, especially from a male point of view). All in all, your experience is "fairly standard" though (and I agree that it sucks for our ego).

I just gave up realising I'm only enough for people who are obese. I don't mean that disrepectfully, but we're talking the mother from Honey Boo Boo here! :embarassed:

I'm a thicker gal and though people think all men like skinny petite chicks, I have had no problem finding attractive successful men. And supposedly men are more visual!! However, I'm on the "you gotta wanna bang you're partner" team. And you know that as soon as you see someone.
If all you're getting are obese women, maybe it's just a matter of looking somewhere else or waiting a bit until someone "worthy" comes along. It doesn't mean it'll be like that forever. :flowerforyou:

Lol Peter wouldn't be so bad as I'd be laughing most of the time. J/k Yeah I couldn't really bang Peter type.

And yes, I'm a size 12... I'm 5'8 but def not fragile little body type. I guess there's a ying to every yang.

I had to look up nigella but apparently you're a boob man. But yes, they're not petite women either.

I just gave up realising I'm only enough for people who are obese. I don't mean that disrepectfully, but we're talking the mother from Honey Boo Boo here! :embarassed:

Dude, you and me both.

I've been on POF for who knows how long.. I'm up to 69 people who want to meet me now.. I've messaged back three of them, actually met one in person last weekend (while it seemed to go well at the time, it's completely dead in the water).

I think I might actually try to find some kind of speed dating. You throw enough things at a wall, something's gotta stick, right?

But yes.. been single since just before this decade began, and this looks to be my ninth straight Valentine's Day where I will save money! (despite the exclamation mark, I'm not supremely thrilled)

Most often, the ones who approach the guys are the ones who are feeling desperate because guys are not approaching them.

Actually that's not true. I've approached loads of guys online, and not through desperation at all. I don't think you (a woman) can just sit back and wait for the right guy to find you. It's an equal search!! I might see something in a picture or a profile that appeals to me, that didnt appeal to him etc. AND he might not find you on his filter. I might live a mile outside his area........etc

Get with equality David!!! It's not desperate, it's logical! :laugh:

Most often, the ones who approach the guys are the ones who are feeling desperate because guys are not approaching them.

Actually that's not true. I've approached loads of guys online, and not through desperation at all. I don't think you (a woman) can just sit back and wait for the right guy to find you. It's an equal search!! I might see something in a picture or a profile that appeals to me, that didnt appeal to him etc. AND he might not find you on his filter. I might live a mile outside his area........etc

Get with equality David!!! It's not desperate, it's logical! :laugh:

You must have missed the sentence right before the one you quoted.

There is the occasional woman who has the confidence to approach a guy but most think that if you're really interested you'll pursue them.

No didnt miss it Just because you lack confidence, doesn't mean you're desperate...........it was the desperate word that bugged me! You implied that contacting a guy made you a desperado!! Although I do appreciate that some people are, both male and female.

I wasn't expecting anybody to approach me, I was just repeatedly ignored and blocked for approaching them. You can make your own mind up from my mfp photos, I'm far from the guy who feels entitled to 'hotties.' I'm just disillusioned by the whole thing, it has taught me.....I just ain't good enough!

I'm really wondering what your profile says that it gets so little response. More curious though is what you could possibly be saying in your messages that motivates these women to block you. Most will just ignore you if they are not interested.

I'm going to stay tuned on this one.. I see a lot of parallels with my own experiences (moya_rargh, our approaches sound pretty much dead similar).

I try to put a twist on it when I experience rejection though - even if it isn't the case, I try to look at it as "she thought I was too awesome and was scared to go forth" although I would never bleed this mentality either.. just fuel for the fitness fire!

This is sometimes true. I have had guys send me a message and think "wow this guy is too awesome for me" and then not respond. This is why I am single and women are confusing.