Addressing BED

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Jecca910
Jecca910 Posts: 25 Member
I am 22 years old. I am struggling with BED. I have been since I was about 8 years old. I am in search of ways to break BED and the habit of binging. I am getting married on Valentines day. The binges have been at a all time high. I feel like I'm drowning. I am so stressed. I need a way out. I am 260 pounds. I am trying to work out and get in the habit of making healthier choices but it's so difficult. I feel like i've also drank myself fat. sodas are my all time weakness. I need advice. anything. I need to be held accountable and I need a support system. My fiance is struggling with the same thing. i don't know what to do anymore.

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  • phabphour20
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    Welcome. I wish I had the strength and courage to address my BED at 22.

    I am 32 and only now making good progress toward resolving/dealing with my issues. So that is really great that you are trying to get help now. Sometimes we have to hit our lowest before we can start to get better.

    I would recommend for you the same two things that have helped me. First, you should read Overcoming Binge Eating Disorder by Fairburn. That book helped me immensely to learn that this disorder is real and a lot of people suffer from it. It is not just personal weakness or my own messed up mind. Secondly, the book really makes you feel that this is treatable and you can make great strides towards stopping it. There is a helpful step by step, week by week treatment plan in the second half of the book that is very helpful.

    Second, try and find a good mental health professional to talk to. Preferably a Doctor of Psychology. Nothing has been as big a help to me as finding someone that I can be completely honest with to help me get to the root of why I binge.

    Just get through today. Take things one day at a time. It seems bleak now but all it takes is that first success to start you down the path. One normal meal, one unnecessary craving ignored, one day. You can do it. Start now. Just try to get through today. The past is the past. There is nothing we can do to change it. Your body is what it is now and the only thing you can do is try to make today positive and improve going forward. I know it is hard, but it is the only real way to think about these things. Let it go. Move forward. One day at a time.

    Coming here is a great first step. Keep coming back. Share. Engage. You'll find success soon enough.

    Oh, and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! My wedding seemed so important and stressful at the time, but in hindsight, I wish I could have just relaxed and enjoyed it.

    Best of luck.

    -PP
  • Jecca910
    Jecca910 Posts: 25 Member
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    Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! I am going to start blogging. I hope that will help. I added you as a friend! I really appreciate you talking me thru this!
  • eso2012
    eso2012 Posts: 337 Member
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    First of all, congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

    I hope you will stay with us for a long while for support because, this may be a surprise to you, but I do not think this is a good time for you to manage BED. Wedding is a (happy) stressful event in itself, and being so close to yours, adding the stress will only worsen your BED. Instead, if you can spare some time to read up on the topic, especially success stories on this board, I think you will set up a good environment and knowledge base to handle that in earnest when your life is back to normal (that is, after the major event, more settled to a regular routine).

    I have been a BED since about your age. I am 45 and I have relapses. Here are a few tips I would like to share with you
    1. Really recognize and find out the possible causes and triggers. Obviously BED is not simply "eating too much". Understanding is the first step. For instance, I have depression and am on long-term medication (you cannot tell, I am a very happy depressive!), and it's been clinically proven that stress --> depression trigger ---> BED triggers. So when I suddenly have relapse (going through one now), I look at other parts of my life as well. My husband can also tell me what he sees as an "outsider".

    2. Talk to a professional. It helps to address it from all angles. I hope you are in good health overall. But if medically you are overweight, professional advice will help you at least to understand where you are and where you should be. Goal setting is a good thing.

    3. I mentioned goal setting is a good thing. BUT ridiculously ambitious goal-setting is BAD. Like, I must lose X pounds in 3 months. While many people may have succeeded and reported on their achievements (sounds like a typical weight loss ad there, does it now?), setting up big goals can add stress which is the last thing a BED person needs. Aim for LONG TERM, LIFE TIME change. You will be surprised how little things add up.

    4. Start moving. If you are not a regular workout person, start now. Anything. 2 mins count. It helps in many ways, moods AND body. I swear by it as the best management tool. As I said, I am in the midst of a relapse and I am probably feeling everything you are feeling...but i know once I get sweating, some magical positive thing will happen and help steer me back to a normal course.


    It is too complex a subject to discuss in one post of course.

    Once again, ENJOY your wedding prep. Talk, read up...and take your time to digest info and find your way to manage BED in the long run.

    Good luck.
  • eso2012
    eso2012 Posts: 337 Member
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    I am just reading up on the topic - this is a pretty concise and organized article.

    Hope it helps.

    http://www.helpguide.org/mental/binge_eating_disorder.htm