Single and dating?

13

Replies

  • Sparkles66212
    Sparkles66212 Posts: 4 Member
    Been single for two years, meeting people is hard. I don't drink, so meeting in a bar isn't ideal for me. I have tried online, but its extremely time consuming. I'm trusting that I'll meet the right one at the gym! I have found that I'm more open to meeting guys as I like myself more. That has had a huge impact on my life. Good luck and keep taking care of yourself first!
  • KristinNicole82
    KristinNicole82 Posts: 164 Member
    Dating in my 30's used to be horrible, I never had a problem finding a date but none of them were worth keeping around. I recently found a great guy at the gym. We have similar interests and goals. I love it that he is into fitness just as much as I am. It gave me an instant workout partner and someone to help me push myself. I am sure all of you will find someone too.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    Probably the best thing about dating in my 30s is that I know what I want and need in life and in a man. The worst would have to be that it seems everyone is just looking for a bootie call. I mean I'm 39 and I have just in the last week have had a 24 year old contact me wanting for a bootie call and a 44 year old contact me chat me up and want to meet for drinks after telling me he's in a committed relationship. OK WTH? I get the 24 year old just looking for some action, but the other guy??? Why tell me you're in a committed relationship then continue to try to chat me up and want me to meet for drinks? I mean I can totally see where he thinks this is going. I totally just wanted to ask him if the girlfriend would be joining us. lol
  • ayankeefan51
    ayankeefan51 Posts: 135 Member
    Not currently dating. Would rather focus on my fitness but eventually would like to find someone too.
  • Came out of a 3 year relationship a couple of months ago and not really dating but can say that I find it hard to find people that you really click with.
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
    i am 33 going 34 this year, in my teens and early 20's i had alot of girlfriends and relationships but last couple years i hit rock bottom,homeless, drugs, alcohol, smoke addictions, depressed etc etc i recently got back on my feet, this is the second week i am doing insanity and p90x and have stopped smoking and alcohol cold turkey almost 2 weeks and drugs i quitted for years now, last snort of cocain i did on my 30th bd.

    I am almost 2 years single now (damn that is long) mostly because i was insecure due to my past but i have also became picky, not that much with looks but character is very important and good girls are hard to find.
  • lisawinning4losing
    lisawinning4losing Posts: 726 Member
    I'm not even trying to date until I get my weight back down and feel like myself again. Being overweight, the whole idea of dating is just kind of unthinkable right now.
  • sunstarz80
    sunstarz80 Posts: 43 Member
    Right now I'm focusing on me and my daughter. I'm not opposed to dating and do occasionally, but it's definitely not my focus. Sometimes it's just easier that way.
  • CTcutie
    CTcutie Posts: 649 Member
    Best thing: I know EXACTLY what I want/need.
    Worst thing: I CANNOT find it.

    Still waiting/looking! (I am not searching for some idealistic person, either. I am very grounded.)

    It's kinda like loosing your keys; you know they have to be there, but ...
  • CTcutie
    CTcutie Posts: 649 Member
    Actually, the WORST worst thing is the thought that even if I continue to be successful with weight management, there is always a possibilty I still may never find my other half :huh:
  • j75j75
    j75j75 Posts: 854 Member
    The dating experience is different for everyone. I have been single for 2 years now. In that time I have dated a lot. I am looking for a relationship, but am not willing to settle. So single I stay. Oh well, the right one will come along at the right time.
  • Skykilr1
    Skykilr1 Posts: 53 Member
    Dating? I've heard about that vaguely. Hehe, I'm 37 and really the longest relationship I've been in was 1 month and that was in high school. Uggh. I am a card carrying, charter member, and founder of the inevitable Friendzone. I'm one of those "crazy" people who think I should be a friend with someone before jumping into a dating relationship. So apparently that process hasn't worked out for me. ;P I think I've been on 1-2 dates in the last 7 yrs or so. In other words, I give up. :)
  • littlebutlean
    littlebutlean Posts: 2,159 Member
    I'm 36 and have been w/ my spouse since I was 19 years old. We were even friends before that, when we were young teenagers. Things haven't really been too good but never really too "bad" w/ us. We haven't had much of an actual relationship over the last the most recent years but we built 2 very amazing kids and get along great. We're really best friends more than anything who sleep w/ each other, at least that's how I saw it.

    Due to getting together with her very young and never getting to open my wings and fly I separated w/ her at the end of August last year to be independent, on my own and open a new chapter in life that I never got to. She is going back to school so with financial constraints me being the sole income provider, I've had to stay at the place and even now today.

    While I didn't spend 30 hours a week on dating sites (I browsed a little) and I never aggressively tried to meet women, I might take heat for this but what I feel like I've learned in my mid 30's is that really, there's nothing spectacular out there to find. It's no easy task finding someone and the single life, seems relatively lonely and boring. If you find someone that you get along with who cares about you, the grass really doesn't look any greener on the other side from my stand point. Dating is just silly display of going through a bunch of fake actions to get to know someone, one at a time. I truly feel for people who are single in their mid 30's and REALLY want to start looking for someone to settle down with and/or start a family before it's too late.

    There's a big part of me that wants to be independent still and try to live the single life, but I just don't feel like it's something I NEED, maybe just want because I don't know what that's like. I'm not sure, pretty confusing part of life for me right now. Here's what I think I want and don't want:

    1) To be independent, get a place of my own and live alone, try the single life.
    2) To be able to have the OPTION of experiencing relationships w/ other women, on a friendship level really. To hang out.
    3) To be able to respond to other women's flirts (?) maybe .. not sure.
    4) NOT to find another "mate" or woman to settle down with, I don't want that at all right now.
    5) I don't even really feel like having sex w/ other women right now. It's not on my list of things I want for some reason.

    Really though, when it comes down to it, I like my spouse as a person generally. She's not perfect, I'm not perfect, I don't think anyone is or else they're not a human being but in comparison to losing her for life and having to "date" and blah blah blah, I just don't think my needs and wants are worth it in the end.

    /endrant :indifferent:
  • So, relationships have never been something that I focused on until this last year- and I wasn't all that impressed with what I found.

    I've never been married, nor have I had a relationship thats lasted more than a handful of months. But I also never gave myself the chance to legitimately try to have a relationship until this last summer.

    Needless to say, my inexperience at picking the right match didn't play to my strengths.

    I'm a confident person; I know I'm smart, I'm wicked sarcastic and have a pretty great (albeit immature at times) sense of humor, and while I'm not hot in the objectifiable sense (read: not a bikini body), I am decently pretty.

    After a few of what I would term "dating failures", I decided to take a break from actively seeking a relationship and am currently taking time to focus on me. After looking back and attempting to figure out "what went wrong", I realized that I lose that confidence when it comes to whether or not someone "actually" likes me- then I solicit attention and compliments to the point that I seem clingy (which I'm not- I LOVE my independence). I'm focusing on breaking that cycle by loving myself first- by bringing my external locus of identity to be more internal.

    So currently: Single? Yes. Dating? Nope, and I'm totally okay with that! :tongue:
  • runningsmo
    runningsmo Posts: 11 Member
    The best thing about dating? Actually knowing what I want. I've been single for about 3 years after getting out of a 5 year relationship, and while early on there were times I freaked out over being single, I really enjoy it now. I get to do what I want when I want, I'm responsible for my own happiness, I don't have to deal with any arguments, I have my schedule and can stick to it. Wait, that sounds like a plug for being single. So the best thing about dating is just having fun. Not being concerned if they thing I'm "cool" or whatever the hip new phrase is, I think "rad" is back. So yeah, sometimes free food is involved and that's a bonus, but it's all about having fun.

    The downside is not having that immediate support system. I have a fantastic group of friends, but when I need a hug at two in the morning they're not there. It would be weird if they were actually. But I have my dog and she s a first rate snuggler.

    That's really it. Amazing conversations can happen with any number of people, I'm rarely lonely, even when I'm alone, I like my schedule, and I don't believe in lowering my standards.
  • b00b0084
    b00b0084 Posts: 730 Member
    I just turned 30 in mid March and started dating again 2 weeks before that. I went 4 1/2 years without dating. I find it difficult for me because I have a 9 1/2 year old son and am ready to settle down already. The guy I am currently dating is still 2 months away from being 27 and still wants to have fun and isn't ready to settle down. I think finding a guy my age that is ready to settle down or date a mom is very hard. It might not help that I have ridiculously low self esteem and a horrible self image. Here's hoping to change that though!
  • TahBeeAah
    TahBeeAah Posts: 8 Member
    I'm turning 30 in two weeks and i'm freaking out because I'm not married yet. Most of my friends are married w/kids, or they at least are in a relationship! What's worst is my last relationship ended four years ago. I keep telling myself that I won't be perpetually single forever, but the months just keep ticking by! I know that i'm a good looking person, but I rarely get approached by guys. Whats weird is I always did in my early twenties. Ahh well.....off to workout! lol
  • b00b0084
    b00b0084 Posts: 730 Member
    I'm turning 30 in two weeks and i'm freaking out because I'm not married yet. Most of my friends are married w/kids, or they at least are in a relationship! What's worst is my last relationship ended four years ago. I keep telling myself that I won't be perpetually single forever, but the months just keep ticking by! I know that i'm a good looking person, but I rarely get approached by guys. Whats weird is I always did in my early twenties. Ahh well.....off to workout! lol

    I was married and divorced before I was 30. Before I started dating my boyfriend of 6 weeks I was single for 4 1/2 years and thought I would die alone. It will happen, you are a beautiful woman! Keep your head up!!
  • PRguez
    PRguez Posts: 61 Member
    Where in the world to people in their thirties go to find someone?

    I wonder the same! :)

    me too
  • j75j75
    j75j75 Posts: 854 Member
    LOL, you can meet people anywhere. But, some good places to start; meetup.com, coffee shops, festivals, really anywhere where a lot of people congregate...