Embarrassed and Ashamed
blueimp
Posts: 230 Member
As of today, I weigh more than I ever have, and my FBG is over 200. My FBG is always higher than the ADA recommendations, but never this high. I am not blaming anyone but me for this. It is a backslide that began with a visit to one of my best friends in October, a visit which was to be my last. I knew he was very ill, but the reality was so much worse than he had ever let on. That's when I started eating grains again; that's also when my BG meter died (new batteries did not help). Grains, especially breads are an addictive substance for me. Then came the holidays, and what the h-e-double hockey sticks, I let sugar in the door. All of his time I've been fighting with the meter manufacturer to replace the meter (yesterday they finally capitulated - btw, yes, I got another one which I neither like nor trust). I've been completely off the rails since New Years. My friend died on January 26th. I'll be at the requiem and burial next week. One side of me is inclined to let it go until I get back; the other side of me says start now. Fortunately, I'll be staying with other, very supportive friends next week, so I know I'll have the notional help I need.
Have any of you had to recover from a four month binge? How did you get back on track? Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks!
Have any of you had to recover from a four month binge? How did you get back on track? Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks!
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Replies
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Don't beat yourself up about it! This is a chronic disease that have ups and downs! A what we want to do it is stay balanced.
I know how it is! I am in the same boat. My FBG have been 200 for awhile and my Oct - Jan A1c is 9.2. So, yeah, when the holidays came I did not adhere to my plan and I went overboard with it.
So, I'm getting myself back on track, surrounding myself with supportive people. And bringing some balance back to my life.
Start today, I know the funeral is coming and stress will play a huge factor in BG levels.
Be ready to take it one step at a time to get back where you want to be.0 -
Hi blueimp. My sincere condolences on the loss of your best friend. It's a very challenging time for you as you work through your emotions. I know, I've been there.
I'll echo javonjay76's thoughts. She's right. Don't beat yourself up. Even when we do things right, this condition is consistently inconsistent. You can't control the past, nor the future. If you set your mind to it, you will have control over today. Start today and take it one day at a time. It's great you'll have supportive friends in your corner next week.
Having been diagnosed more than 30 years ago I would experience diabetic burnout for months. Finally I had enough and knew I had to do something to take control and change my lifestyle. It was working the MyFitnessPal program that's helped me the most improving my blood sugars, outside of my determination to change my habits, and adopt new healthier habits.
What a wonderful pic of you(??) holding that beautiful baby!
Best wishes0 -
I totally understand where you are. I had a couple of years where I just gave in/avoided dealing with my t2 diabetes. I was shaken by my mom's death - liver disease from fatty liver (she was overweight and diabetic.) That was my wake-up call. I wanted to live and improve my quality of life. But even after I decided to do something it was several months until I was really ready to start working.
If you are ready (in your head and heart) to get control, don't put it off. Even with travelling you can work it. You don't need to be perfect - no one is really. But getting started seems important.
Good luck!0 -
I want to echo the suggestions to take it one day at a time, and even hour at a time. Sometimes we think that we either have to do something 100% or not at all, and that all-or-none type of thinking can get us into trouble. When we make even one healthier choice each day, we're starting down a more positive, proactive path. Build on that one healthy choice one day at a time, and you're on your way to reaching your goals. ~Lynn /Glucerna0
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One day at the time dear friend. We are on a very trying journey here. Today I had 3 candies and a bit more bread. I got upset and my eyes started rivers of tears. Diabetes is not only bad on our body but it consumes us at the mental level. We get tormented with fear and guilt. I have been diagnosed T2 before I turned 40. After years of denial, I am trying to take control. I do not win every day...but I know we all have to continue.
I am grateful for having this support group. One day at the time.
Thanks and good luck.0 -
:flowerforyou: Honey, I am so there with you. I feel embarrased and ashamed when I look in the mirror, My numbers well they are out of control and I have no one to blame but myself. Diabetes is something I torment myself with every day. I say I can beat it but I am only kidding myself.
I am willing to talk every day and support each other to get the first "5" off. I am not very good at tracking but need someone to walk with me too.
I am in if you are.0 -
I fell off the wagon for about a year. I didn't check my sugars, and when I finally went to the doctor my A1C was 10.5. Up until that time I was not on insulin. My doctor immediately put me on Lantus to get my fasting sugars down. Once we got the fasting sugars under control we would consider meal time insulin as well. Fortunately the Lantus did the job. Once my fasting sugars were under control, my post meal sugars were within range.
Becoming insulin dependent was my wake-up call. I started eating better and exercising as I slowly increased the Lantus to the correct amount. About a month later my doctor suggested MFP. Since late last October I've lost 50lb. My Lantus dose has come down. I should be off it within the next month or so if I stick to my calorie and exercise goals.
I know insulin is a pain in the butt and expensive, but you might want to consider talking to your doctor about using it for a while to help you get control. Once my blood sugar was back in control I had fewer headaches (I'm prone to migraines) and I had a lot more energy. The extra energy has helped me to make exercise a daily habit.0 -
What an inspiring story scubasue! I think often people resist taking insulin for a variety of reasons, and it's important for people to hear how taking insulin helped you get on track and also motivated you to make lifestyle changes at the same time. it sounds like you're doing great! ~Lynn /Glucerna0
