Overeaters Anonymous (OA)

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blackthrux
blackthrux Posts: 58 Member
in Social Groups
Hi all,

I have just found and joined your group, and wanted to provide a bit of information about what has brought me here and why I have joined the group.

I'm a 43-year-old male who has recently found myself doing a lot of introspection. I found OA through a "self-help" book that I am reading, but I'm not sure that I am able to help myself. I've been trying for for about 5 years, with success in maintaining weight, but not losing. According to the medical charts and recommendations, I'm about 85 lbs heavier than the top end of my recommended weight range, and about 100 lbs heavier than my "ideal" weight. My doctor considers me pre-diabetic, and in my recent reflections, I'm recognizing that I really don't like the way that I look or feel. So I'm looking at finding OA meetings in my area to see if I can find the support and the help that I need to work myself through my weight issues. I guess to call it a weight issue isn't really right. The book that I'm reading has a lot of statements and examples that I am REALLY identifying with, and the author is writing that this is not about weight, it's about relationships with food and relationships with people.

There is a newcomer meeting scheduled in my area in about 10 days, and I've got it on my calender. So, I'm hoping that I can start by just learning what the OA program is all about and maybe getting support from some of you as I take the first step on this thousand mile journey. If I am successful, I hope to be able to pay back the favor with future newcomers, but I've got to start with getting things right with me.

Thanks for listening, and I welcome any responses you may have.
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Replies

  • NewMe1year
    NewMe1year Posts: 8
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    Welcome! I just recently joined this group myself! I am also looking into attending OA meetings too and received some good feedback from this group!
  • purplybob
    purplybob Posts: 51 Member
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    Welcome! Keep coming back!
  • blackthrux
    blackthrux Posts: 58 Member
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    Well, if this is truly an addiction, I think I have just hit my low.

    My wife told me last night that she is moving out, and health issues related to overeating were a significant contributing factor.

    I looked at the "Is OA For You?" list. I was able to answer "no" to 8-12. I hope this plan is my path, because I am feeling very lost right now.
  • GrokRockStar
    GrokRockStar Posts: 2,938 Member
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    Well, if this is truly an addiction, I think I have just hit my low.

    My wife told me last night that she is moving out, and health issues related to overeating were a significant contributing factor.

    I looked at the "Is OA For You?" list. I was able to answer "no" to 8-12. I hope this plan is my path, because I am feeling very lost right now.

    I'm so sorry to hear of this bad news, but please don't eat over it, instead pray about it. The best thing that you can do right now is to reach out to someone and talk through your feelings (inbox me if you like). I remember going through a breakup years ago and nearly ate myself to death, even though my Doc told me that my diabetes will eventually take my sight and a limb or two. Food has a way of falsely making us feal whole, for a minute. I'm sending {{{Hugs}}} your way!
  • blackthrux
    blackthrux Posts: 58 Member
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    GrokRockStar and I have been communicating a bit privately after my last post, and she asked me this morning how I feel today. I typed up a reply to her, but as I read through it, I thought it would be a good post for everyone to see here, in case it might help someone else quietly going through the same experience, or coming to us in the future.

    How do I feel today? Like I'm on a roller coaster of emotions.

    There is so much more to what I'm in the midst of than just the overeating, but I finally feel like I have an idea of all of the things that the food is standing in for in my head. I feel really excited about where this journey is going to take me personally. I have no doubt that this won't be easy, but it feels liberating to me to know that I'm not alone in this, that all of you are out there too, and that I can follow the path that has been laid in front of me to make myself right by focusing on the right things.

    Kate hasn't yet moved out, she's out looking at apartments right now. I feel great that I finally feel like I found my path to happiness, and I feel melancholy about the timing and the thought that my journey may be beginning just a little too late for her. I have allowed my relationship with food to affect my ability to feel anything else, and that may have been enough to push her away. Those are the breaks, I guess, and if she decides while separated that she is better off without me, I'll need to live with that. I am afraid of that happening, but that fear is not paralyzing me know. I think that it might have as recently as a couple of weeks ago.

    Obviously, I'm new to this group and new to this process. I would appreciate growing my support network with you as friends, please send me a friend request if you are so inclined.

    Thanks to all for any thoughts directed my way.
  • GrokRockStar
    GrokRockStar Posts: 2,938 Member
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    Blackthrux,
    Thanks for sharing your experience, although personal and painful. OA is a tight-knit fellowship and whenever life throws in a monkey wrench, I have a place to come for support and understanding. People close to us may not fully understand the nature of the disease. When we experience a problem, a normie may view our issue as minor, while it will feel like Armageddon to people like us. I'm lucky to have a partner who attends at least 3 AA meetings a week, although he hasn't picked up a drink for over 34 years! Our program comes first, even before eachother.
    Just remember to feel those feelings and don't hide them in food. What's happening now is shaping you, so please put you and your needs first!
  • karenleona
    karenleona Posts: 3,959 Member
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    it would be nice to have someone who understood overeating and binge eating and could help talk me through it
    put my needs first???? never happen...
  • GrokRockStar
    GrokRockStar Posts: 2,938 Member
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    Karen,
    It is easier said than done, and it is difficult to be selfish in a good way, but it is doable. I have to come first, it makes me a better mom, step-mom, wife, sister, and daughter. My self worth and confidence has made me stronger and I'm respected because of it.
  • karenleona
    karenleona Posts: 3,959 Member
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    wahoo! actually made it through yesterday without binging!!! first time in a long while...
  • purplybob
    purplybob Posts: 51 Member
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    ^ Awesome!!!!
  • GrokRockStar
    GrokRockStar Posts: 2,938 Member
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    wahoo! actually made it through yesterday without binging!!! first time in a long while...

    That's great news, you've got this!
  • blackthrux
    blackthrux Posts: 58 Member
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    wahoo! actually made it through yesterday without binging!!! first time in a long while...

    That is fantastic! You have just shown yourself that you CAN make it through a day. Take a moment to celebrate that success.
  • wandafit4life
    wandafit4life Posts: 25 Member
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    Hi Day 3 for me I have been grazing so long it’s a bit to get use to but I’m determined! I am no stranger to the steps and totally believe in the process. In my first meeting I thought I was going to have problem identify myself as a compulsive overeater until I looked up the definition of compulsive! I am always eating against my will I cry sometimes because I know I shouldn’t have something then have it anyway and feel like such a failure after I eat it! Sitting in that meeting I decided that if food is causing me this kind of emotional DRAMA I GOTTA ISSUE! So if I can surrender what I thought to be the most horrific part of my life to God surely he can handle my eating! I’m glad to be here and look forward to a new perspective!
  • karenleona
    karenleona Posts: 3,959 Member
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    wanda- i could have written the exact same thing!! Looking inward can be hard but enlightening at the same time. Sounds like you have made a great step forward

    apparently my winning streak is limited to one day followed by two not good days. Feeling more in tune today so i think it will be good!
  • blackthrux
    blackthrux Posts: 58 Member
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    Welcome, Wanda..
  • GrokRockStar
    GrokRockStar Posts: 2,938 Member
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    Hi Day 3 for me I have been grazing so long it’s a bit to get use to but I’m determined! I am no stranger to the steps and totally believe in the process. In my first meeting I thought I was going to have problem identify myself as a compulsive overeater until I looked up the definition of compulsive! I am always eating against my will I cry sometimes because I know I shouldn’t have something then have it anyway and feel like such a failure after I eat it! Sitting in that meeting I decided that if food is causing me this kind of emotional DRAMA I GOTTA ISSUE! So if I can surrender what I thought to be the most horrific part of my life to God surely he can handle my eating! I’m glad to be here and look forward to a new perspective!

    Wanda,
    I remember it being difficult for me to admit my powerlessness over food, but once I did, a weight seemed to lift off of me. I’m glad that you are here and that you are dealing with this awful disease. And yes, giving it to your higher power will help you focus on recovery!
  • Strong_Heart
    Strong_Heart Posts: 32 Member
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    I joined this group a while back but did no posting. I began my journey in the OA program Feb. 20th of this year. I am working with a sponsor and, as of today (March 21, 2014), I am beginning Step 3 of the 12 Steps for Overeaters. I plan on using this group for added support.
  • GrokRockStar
    GrokRockStar Posts: 2,938 Member
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    Welcome to the group StrongHeart. You'll definitely find support here.
  • blackthrux
    blackthrux Posts: 58 Member
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    Welcome, Strong_Heart. As a newcomer myself, I will echo what GrokRockStar said: you can find support in this group. Stop in again when you need some, or have a little extra to give to someone else.
  • wandafit4life
    wandafit4life Posts: 25 Member
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    Welcome StrongHeart!

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