Re-Experiencing Trauma
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bluesdivaca
Posts: 27 Member
I'm working hard to get back on track with healthy eating. I'm trying to do it consistently and have always been effected (or ruled) by emotional coping with food.
From July through December of last year, I was consumed with stress. My ex had stolen thousands of dollars of my stuff, was threatening and went off the deep end; new job and commute; had to live with friends, shopped for a house... the list is endless. I didn't get any of my missing belongings back until I took him to court in December. At that time he returned the iPad and my jewelry box - but certainly not all of the jewelry was there.
I won in court; he didn't pay so I pursued garnishment of his wages. That began approximately two months ago.
In the past few weeks he has been writing emails again, wanting money for my belongings (that he stole) and I won back in court. He had the option to return all of my belongings and not owe money, or keep everything and pay me back. He chose the latter.
All of this has taken me right back to the fearful and freaked out stage. I'm not sleeping, I want to eat crap and feed myself comfort food in the wake of all the loss of belongings, and just having to go through all of his crap again.
He is a bully, a narcissist and a mean man... I have NO legal recourse and it makes me want CAKE/PIE!!! At least I know what is causing me stress... I just have to keep managing it. I am merely tired of him... tired of wanting him to lose his fingers so he'll stop emailing.
From July through December of last year, I was consumed with stress. My ex had stolen thousands of dollars of my stuff, was threatening and went off the deep end; new job and commute; had to live with friends, shopped for a house... the list is endless. I didn't get any of my missing belongings back until I took him to court in December. At that time he returned the iPad and my jewelry box - but certainly not all of the jewelry was there.
I won in court; he didn't pay so I pursued garnishment of his wages. That began approximately two months ago.
In the past few weeks he has been writing emails again, wanting money for my belongings (that he stole) and I won back in court. He had the option to return all of my belongings and not owe money, or keep everything and pay me back. He chose the latter.
All of this has taken me right back to the fearful and freaked out stage. I'm not sleeping, I want to eat crap and feed myself comfort food in the wake of all the loss of belongings, and just having to go through all of his crap again.
He is a bully, a narcissist and a mean man... I have NO legal recourse and it makes me want CAKE/PIE!!! At least I know what is causing me stress... I just have to keep managing it. I am merely tired of him... tired of wanting him to lose his fingers so he'll stop emailing.
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Replies
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wow, bluesdivaca. that sounds like a terribly stressful situation, and I can certainly understand you freaking out and wanting food for comfort. those are the days when it is most difficult to get out of bed and try to make 'the right' decisions. I admire you for all you have done in this fight.
In no way am I qualified to give you any legal or medical advice, but I can tell you something simple (and kind of lame) that has helped me a time or two...get mad instead of sad or scared. find some kickboxing videos at the store or on youtube and release some emotions and get stronger. punch the pillows on a couch. go for walks to try and clear your mind. take hikes to get lost in nature. keep fighting!
it's important to have time to feel sad, break down, and have your piece of cake, but not all day...and not every day. here is a little saying I found on pinterest last week that might be helpful:
"Don't forget that you're human. It's okay to have a melt down. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed."
you will succeed.0 -
Good things to think about - thank you. I am doing better, but I strayed off my eating goals. Back on now, a little heavier but I'm sleeping and no obsessing about the idiot.
KT0 -
What a nightmare. Congrats for surviving it and taking control of your life!
Are you seeing a therapist? Do you have a strong support system? It sounds like you've been focused on survival for quite a while. Getting out of fear mode and back into a lifestyle that feels safe is not a simple process. This is especially true when you are still in contact with this person. It will take time, and there will be some bumps along the way. Talking to a professional can make the bumps a little less painful and easier to avoid in the long run.0
