Hang in there! I've gone through the same thing! I'm finally eating at my TDEE which is about 3150/day. Soooo glad to see someone as high as me! LOL! I've gained from 162.8 to 170.6 & I'm finally holding steady around that mark, within about a pound. I'm going to stay at TDEE and do a reset for a while yet. At least until mid June and I might go further.

1500 will not give you the fuel you need!

The first thing that strikes me about your post is the stress you seem to be feeling. On this journey, stress is one of our worst enemies, and can work against us even when we are doing everything else right... Something to remember: eating at a deficit is a stress on the body. Exercise is a stress on the body. The stresses of daily life are a stress on the body. Add more stress by stressing over weight loss/gain and you are putting your body into overdrive and most likely will increase your cortisol levels. :noway:

Cortisol is called the "stress hormone" because increased amounts of cortisol can be secreted during times of physical or psychological stress (read: diet and exercise), often resulting in weight gain...

You said that when you tried to do the reset previously that you had good results, but just didn't continue it long enough. If I were you, I would go back to that...... You said it seemed to be working ---- you reduced your training, increased your intake, and felt good. I would go back to doing that and just give it some more time (EM2WL recommends resetting for a minimum of 8 - 12 weeks).

If you are really nervous about adding any more weight, try increasing your calories slowly. Add 100 calories a day and stay at that level for a week or so before pushing it another 100 calories higher. This slow method seems to help some avoid those big jumps on the scale that can be so disheartening... It gives the body (and the mind) time to adjust along the way.

You are right --- you do seem to understand the process "in theory", now it's just a matter of putting it in action :drinker: . The repeated injuries are most likely caused by stressing the body too much without the appropriate fuel. Back off on the training (that will relieve some of that stress...), Up your calories slowly (that will relieve *that* stress). And finally, try to remove that last element of stress by relaxing and trying to enjoy the journey --- enjoy fueling your body and enjoy the extra strength and energy you will get from that fuel. Think of it as a gift you are giving to your body after years of deprivation and over-use.

You know what to do --- now just put those wheels in motion.

Feel free to add me if you would like a friend along the way. :flowerforyou:

Anitra

Wow, this is your story.

http://skepchick.org/2014/02/the-female-athlete-triad-not-as-fun-as-it-sounds/

Also reminder, Fitbit can't possibly know you have suppressed your body to burn less, or be more metabolically efficient.
It doesn't even have a way to include the fact you may have a decent amount of less muscle mass than others your age, weight, height, so that your BMR is less than expected.

Your description of heavy training pointed that out, body will burn muscle somewhere if needed, what you used the most is the last that is lost, so it can take awhile to show up what's been happening to the body.

So just be aware your Fitbit is likely inflated calorie burn for the amount of muscle mass you have now. Hence the recommendation to move up slowly.

But, also confirm you are manually inputting workouts it's bad at estimating. Anything non-step based is best manually entered, or you'll get mostly underestimated calorie burn.
Like it thought it ran 6.43 miles for 950 cal, when actually 7.3 for 1204 calories. 12% and 21% off is pretty bad. And would create a very undesired deficit when you add up several workouts through the week.
Now walking and calm runs are alright for Fitbit, but this was hill running so I had no expectation it would be close.

Look at your workouts the same way, manually log anything it has no chance to get right.
The long runs have most potential for being wrong, shorter runs probably decent, especially if you manually entered in your stride length. Walking good, swimming obviously not along with strength.

If you haven't been doing that yet, you had an even bigger deficit from potential TDEE (what it says total calorie burn was).

Now then again, you don't gain on a suppressed TDEE unless you eat over it for some spike meals, or it's actually water weight gain.

Only weigh-in on valid days - morning after rest day eating normal sodium levels, not sore from last workout.

And if you started a new workout or new level of intensity in week prior to those weight gains, retained water for muscle repair is likely.

What AnitraSoto said is so very true! And, like you, I'm still struggling with the same issue...sressing over my weight on the scale! I did NOT head her advice at the beginning of my reset and just dove right in eating 2100 from <1200! My scale jumped 20 lbs!!! To top it all off, I had hormonal issues that were contributing to my stress, which ultimately resulted in a hysterectomy in Dec and then the recovery. My recovery took about 3-4 wks longer than "I planned" (I'm not the best patient, as patience is not one of my virtues). But with Anitra's help and the EM2WL guidance, I'm making progress. It's VERY slow, but I'm doing it. Do I want it to come off RIGHT NOW? Absoultely!!! But I know that if I did this fast, the result wouldn't last. You can do this...let go of the stress over your weight and your injuries, because time is the best thing for those. You WILL reach your goal!!! After all, you've got us to support you! :flowerforyou:

Gotten hotter where you are compared to prior?
Blood volume will expand to help with cooling.

Do you weigh all your foods eaten, measuring only liquids?
That includes package weight of items because it may contain more than label states.

Are you correcting the Fitbit on most of those workouts it's going to underestimate?
If so, how are you getting the calorie burns to manually enter that workout?
Do you have access to treadmill and HRM?
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/heybales/view/getting-your-personalized-calorie-burn-formula-663625

Because you didn't gain in a deficit (which you aren't in of course). Even if that level of eating, whether accurate or not, is your actual suppressed TDEE right now (and it likely is), you would only gain eating more than that, but not often enough for body to actually raise the metabolism, just enough to add fat. But a few really bad binge days of being discouraged could add up.

Now, if indeed only fat and no water gains (only valid weigh-in days, right?) the following would apply.
Weight change 0.6 kg x 7716 cal/kg fat / 14 days = 331 extra calories daily

Which would imply your potential TDEE is around 1750 - and that just isn't the case.

Now, it could have been less than that, and you still have some water weight gain because of your training, body is trying to pack in more carbs for endurance needed.

Or, your logging of food is dead on correct and accurate, and that would mean your real TDEE is actually about 1750.

Simple test to confirm if you are eating above real honest potential TDEE, not suppressed at all.

Eat 250 more for 2 weeks, so right at 2000.
If 1750 really is your potential TDEE, you will gain 0.45 kg slowly over the whole time.

But, if you gain faster water weight or more - you are still at suppressed TDEE, and your body just packed in more carbs finally, along with attached water.

Absolutely required with above is to have 2 valid weigh-in days to minimize known water weight gain/loss.
Morning after rest day eating normal sodium levels, not sore from last workout.

Or you believe that 1750 is your potential TDEE, and take 15% deficit off of that, so eat 1488 with the same level of exercise as last 2 weeks.

If your food logging is bad, and you actually did eat much more you aren't aware of, then 1488 will also be more than you are aware of, so don't cut and get more accurate at the same time. So 1488 may appear bad, but with inaccuracy is higher.

As to why the Fitbit is so off, what workouts do you NOT manually enter, totally it's estimate?
Did you get your stride lengths measured for running and walking instead of defaults?

Sorry to ask dumb questions but I feel like I'm see-sawing between totally giving up and going back to the lower calories - which I know (deep down in my heart) is not the answer. Neither of those options are, but I'm terribly frustrated with my body. What's worse, is I realise I've done this to myself through low calories, extreme training and a general fear of gaining back weight.

Can't add much except my encouragement. Nothing more frustrating to be doing what you think you should be doing and weight just goes up - that's been my story for the last couple of years. I don't want to jinx it, but I've been following Heybales' suggestions and I "think" I'm seeing a turn around. My thread with him is at the In Place of a Road Map group. My weight this morning was a number I hadn't seen since last November! Hang in there - there's a lot of supportive people in this group!

Susan

Thanks Heybales. In relation to questions you asked:

Yes, I weigh/measure everything. Drives my partner nuts, but I do it.

My food logging is probably 90% accurate - if I prepare everything I eat, then count that as 100% but I have dinner with family on Wednesdays and so have to do a best guess scenario. If anything, I tend to enter higher calories to cover myself.

I use a HRM when I run/ride so I do correct those calorie burns. I tend not to wear it when I'm lifting and so have just been using the mfp suggestion, which is about 150cal for 40mins of weight training. I also don't wear a HRM when walking because then I just get too competitive and go for big burns. So I use mapmyfitness to map it and then use their calorie estimate minus 100 or so.

I haven't worried too much about stride length for the fitbit because I find it's difficult to settle on a suitable stride length. I live in a pretty hilly town, so I'm always going up and down hills. I have done the experiment of comparing number of steps to distance travelled (using gps) but it always seems to give me a different stride length regardless of whether I'm running or walking.

So if my TDEE is suppressed - which I suspect is the case - then do I increase calories or stay where I'm at (2000-2100)?

Sorry to ask dumb questions but I feel like I'm see-sawing between totally giving up and going back to the lower calories - which I know (deep down in my heart) is not the answer. Neither of those options are, but I'm terribly frustrated with my body. What's worse, is I realise I've done this to myself through low calories, extreme training and a general fear of gaining back weight.

Good on the food logging.

I think I see some issues perhaps on the calorie burn side of the equation, not sure if it'll mean you have much less burn than thought, or much more, and deficit is really huge.

Correct method for weight lifting, it may be smaller compared to equal time cardio, but that is correct, and HRM would be inflated.

As to HRM being trustworthy for other cardio - did you check that link out?
If no access to treadmill, it might be difficult to do the personal calorie burn chart, but there's another link in there to at least confirm your HRM is decently accurate, and you could do that if you had the distance, time (therefore pace), and amount of gain (to figure incline) that MMF will tell you.

This could be done on your walks too, so wear the HRM for a walk just to see what it says.
Then get your pace figured out, take the total Gain that MMF gives (or whatever they call it) and plug in to following formula.
(Total Gain x 2) / miles / 5280 x 100 = % incline.

Now use this with the Gross option (which is what HRM would report, and what you'd replace Fitbit estimate with).
http://www.exrx.net/Calculators/WalkRunMETs.html

So first it would be good to see how close Fitbit was, because for exercise walking (faster, up/down, ect) it's going to underestimate.
Then second to see how close was the HRM for that time, as long as HR was above say 100 avg. If it wasn't, then you can't confirm the HRM with your walks, you'll need to jog and do above test.

That will then tell you how trustworthy is it for the riding too.
Because the cheaper Polar's are going to be bad at underestimating calorie burns if really fit (higher VO2), but also inflated if better Polar with VO2 self-test and stat, so iffy on that one - but best to know before you go back in to bigger training volumes burning more calories.

The Fitbit stride length, if you care to correct it, should only be done level at an average pace. So walking would not be fast exercise walking, probably more about 3.5 mph. Running at whatever speed is average flat.
But it can tell from accelerometer what is expected for impact on weight and stride length, and if it records harder and longer than expected, you were going down a hill, lighter and shorter then up a hill, expected but longer then bigger strides, ect. But the base is supposed to be for flat.

So depending on these corrections done, 2000 may be no where near a reasonable deficit.
Actually, even for current estimate of TDEE that I'm betting is low, it's already too big.

While I have seen ones get healed while keeping a reasonable deficit - it's long and slow, you basically keep the suppressed TDEE for a long time (months) before it feels like rising to where it could, and so weight loss slowly starts coming back, very little at first until getting to expected level.

This groups method goes first for the healing, body and mind, get it over with faster in comparison, then take your reasonable deficit.

But 2000 isn't reasonable anyway. Even with I believe under-estimated TDEE, it would be closer to 2400. With better estimated TDEE, it'l going to be higher with only 11 kg to go.

So you saw my description of the 2 week test, get started on the path to healing by doing the 2 week 250 test.
And with your workout schedule, still concerned about valid weigh-in which you haven't commented on.
Reread my description of that in last post - confirm you only do those, or if you weigh daily, tag the valid ones as only being useful.

1 - While doing that, find a past week of standard average activity, walking and exercise.
2 - Check and correct the walking using that link above, I'm betting it's low when you include incline, and the fact you took 100 off too.
3 - Do that for any runs too actually, that link is within 4% of tested in studies, much better than even best setup HRM.
4 - Find a run anywhere in the past, where the avgHR matched a bike ride during that week, and have decent stats to do the same link for the run, and use the same calorie burn for the bike ride time to correct that too.

You just want a good solid week to get an idea of how close was the Fitbit reported TDEE, and easiest to do that on a past week where you have data to look at. But start using those methods on new exercise going forward too.
Only need to find out how far off it is - may not need to do all these corrections going forward. Then again, if you want to eat correctly for amount of activity - you may need to.

So to get over this fear, your potential fast weight gain is going to be water tied to more stored carbs, which will help you perform better.

Want to perform better?

Accept the increase in good useful weight.

So to get over this fear, your potential fast weight gain is going to be water tied to more stored carbs, which will help you perform better.

Want to perform better?

Accept the increase in good useful weight.

I know my deficits are too big. I just haven't figured out how to make them smaller without me eating a ton of food.
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Lower your TDEE, which means workout less.

To workout less for cardio, but still get benefit, means more interval type workouts. Which means less frequent workouts to allow recovery and repair. They are usually shorter too.
So double whammy to less exercise calorie burn, lower TDEE, lower eating levels.