Just started my second week of really working out again. At least 20 min walk every day. I feel much better. Trying to get past mothers day though.

Went to Zumba last night and had a great, "normal" time! I will go again to a longer and bigger class tonight. My husband said something to me yesterday that made me see how important it is to continue with the fitness routine, even though I may feel too "sad" to do so. You see, since our son died, we have both gained weight. He pointed out the fact that I have, however kept my health, due to my fitness routine, while his health issues have exacerbated.

Thank goodness, he has started to return to the gym. I want him around for a long time. Today I will reflect on the ones whom I love who have been left behind. Jas, I love you always. But, I have to start to also show my love for those whom we both love and remain strong as I honor your memory.

Milagros
Raleigh NC

Well I thought of myself, husband and daughter yesterday. I feel like we were all left behind and now must make a life for ourselves. We are striving towards a "new normal". After the death of my son, I lost a new friend. She no longer looks at me and does not want to talk to me. This, I did not expect. Guess it is also time to let new friends in that will accept me and my "circumstances" as we are.

Went to my hour Zumba Class last night. After two nights in a row I am feeling quite sore. Today I will take it easy and walk as my fitness routine for the day. A very slow walk!

Milagros
Raleigh, NC

Well yesterday is the last of "The Dangerous Game". I saw that if I eat WAY TOO MUCH. I will gain weight, duh! I know it has nothing to do with gaining or loosing weight. It has to do more with the loss of my son. I talk to him during the day and imagine him answering. He loved Red Velvet Cake. I found Weight Watcher's red velvet mini "bars" in the Supermarket one day and at times would share them with Jas. We would eat the whole box and laugh at the fact that the serving size was a joke to us.

Yesterday I went looking for the cakes, but it was too painful to buy them. (Which I should have since I ended up eating way too many cookies and ice cream instead.) I had an OK day, but I was anesthetizing myself with food. Who knows what kind of day I would have had if I did not.

But, that's the point, isn't it? I have to feel my feelings and stop trying to cover them up with food. Today I will stay away from the sweets and see what happens.

Milagros
Raleigh, NC:ohwell:

Yes, Yes, Yes! Back on track! No matter how bad the slip was in the past, today is a new day! This day is the only one that really counts! Today we are BACK ON TRACK! I am with you today! I will also track, THAT IS MY PROMOSE TODAY, and of course, go to Zumba after work!

Hurrah for us!:happy:

Milagros
Raleigh, NC

I lost my dad in a construction truck accident just under a month ago. He was 55 years old and had plenty life to live. I'm having a hard time, as I was close to him. And father's day without him is going to be hard. Shoot the rest of my life without him is going to be hard. But I decided that my dad would want me to get healthy, not indulge my emotions with food. I put a goal in place that next year on the anniversary of dad's heaven day that if I get under 200lbs, I would give myself whatever memorial tattoo I want of him.