I think I can give a good answer - my experience - I jumped a lot as a kid - never could afford a fancy horse to ride but I managed and would say I was confident doing full courses and tough turns, etc. Took a break for a while, bought my own horse super green almost 8 years ago and couldnt afford lessons, so just kind of self taught. I definetly developed a fear of jumping because I was scared I wasn't going to look perfect / I was going to hurt her, etc. She now carries my fear with her all the time - I can jump her a little, but if anyone else tried to, its total melt down. My point being, I used to be super confident, now I am not. Not having confidence it a total, and complete deal breaker jumping, especially with a sensitive horse.

I took a lesson a friends "point and shoot" horse that I knew would jump anything with great rythym no matter how bad I leaned on his neck and pulled and stuffed the distance - that was a huge confidence boost because we did it, and I felt like, OK, me and my horse have issues, but, its not 100% me sucking.

My suggestions
1. If you can take a lesson on a "packer" do it - even if it costs a little more. This way you can get the feel of what a good jump is supposed to be, and you dont have to worry about getting in the horses way. Its a confidence boost, and a learning experience. Plus it's amazing to sit on a horse that knows its job, and no matter how bad you screw up, they are going to take care of you.

2. The #1 thing jumping requires is confidence that you can do it. If you don't have that, you won't be able to do it. FEAR is our biggest obstacle. And FEAR isn't even a real "thing". It's 100%, I mean 100% in our own heads.



Just let #2 soak in for a while, because it really is the most important.





3. Balance. You NEED balance because every horse jumps differently. Some will float over, some will have so much bascule they hurl you over the saddle. Practice your two point every time you ride. Every. Time. Practice it at the walk, trot, and canter. Practice turning, practice circling, practice latteral movements. George Morris makes a good point about how you should be able to make your horse move exactly the same way you do sitting, as you do in a light seat.

4. Poles. Being able to find a distance is hard - and if you cant do it - you have a huge obstacle in front of you because you are going to be constantly worried you are going to screw up. Unfortunetly, people like us arent born with this amazing natural talent (Im positive some people just are) - so - we need to practice. Set a course of poles and count in between them. Ride by jumps like you are going to jump them in your head - and count backwards to see your distance. Count everything, count everywhere when you are riding. Work on adjusting your horses canter stride - see if you can get 5 in that line of poles, now 6, now 4.

5. Drop your stirrups. Just saying. If you cant trot without them and stay on, do you really want to throw yourself over a solid object? You can do it - its just like an exersice at the gym. Start at the walk, stretch, just get a feel for the horses moevements, then try some half seat at the walk. Move your arms arund, scratch his ears, scratch his butt, just get used to the moevement. When you are ok with that move up to the trot - have someone put you on the lungeline and hold the saddle if you are more comfortable. I think you will find its not as scary as it seams.

6. Stop doing the horses job. Really, the #1 hardest thing for me to do as a rider is - NOTHING AT ALL. Seriously, try to ride a line and do nothing. Its hard, really hard. We are always moving, pulling, adjusting, fidgiting, thinking too much. Ride a line of poles and just do nothing. Let the horse put his feel where he knows his feet should go. Now, make them cross rails. Do the same thing and ride in a light forward seat. Dont move your seat - we all do this and it throws the horse off balance - unless you are jumping 4 foot fences here, you should allow the horse to come up to you over the jump - basically ride in a light seat for the entire line, and over the jump do a little release with your hands - since yu are already in a light seat, the horses neck will come UP to you - there is no reason for you to make any sort of a huge movement with your upper body - thus throwing both of you off balance. Get what Im saying? Stop trying to half seat. You dont need too. If you are in a light, forward seat, your body will simply fold over the way its supposed too.

7. Ride the landing. If the jump is scaring you ride the landing. As you are coming towards it, ride away from it in your head. Skip whats going to happen going towards it, and over it - generally the horse knows his job better than us and we just get in the way anyway - so as you approch the jump - visualize your landing - this is where you can help your horse anyway. Forget the fence - picture the landing - you are sinking into your heels, kicking forward at the knee if you think your leg is going to slide back, He is landing and you are applying leg to urge him to canter away nice and forward. You are lifting your hands and steading your body - you are riding STRAIGHT - with leg on - so that by the time you get to your corner you have a nice, engaged, forward canter, still in your light seat, and you are carrying your hands.

Hope this helps. Now only if I could heed my own advice.

Good advice from above. Also with the fear on your stirrups. Really you don't need them. Your core is where your balance comes from. Just check out all the you tube videos of the big name jumpers doing that stuff bareback....and the crazy guy doing it naked.

No need to give up. Just do it at your pace.

Pip

There is no "due date" on how long it should take you to learn to jump, it takes as long as it takes. If you are enjoying it, its not a waste of time.

Like MissMissle said, 2 point, 2 point, 2 point. Something that we did when I was training was tons of lunging with no stirrups and no reins at the walk, trot (posting, sitting and 2 point) and canter (sitting and 2 point) as well as over small jumps (6-12 inches). It really helps with building strength and stability. It can be scary at first, but start small, try for just a few steps at the sitting trot the first time and then gradually work your way up to more time sitting and then posting and 2 point at the trot until eventually you can canter with no stirrups. If you are afraid to drop both stirrups at the same time, just drop one and then switch them.

Something else you might try because you are having trouble with getting too far forward. Have your instructor tie a ribbon (or a braid) in your horse's mane where your hands should end up while jumping (your nose should be over your hands, unless you are jumping big jumps) and make sure that your hands(and nose!) never go beyond that point .

A lot of fear stems from a lack of trust. Ask yourself, do you trust the instructor you are working with? Are they giving you tips on how to correct your position or just telling you afterwards that you did it wrong? Are you afraid of getting hurt, afraid of hurting the horse? Do you not trust yourself? Are you afraid to be embarrassed?

Wow! you should write a book, that was so spot on. I'm sure it must have helped the OP, because it sure helped me and I just came into this conversation! lol Excellent advice, thank you for sharing!