GETTING OFF THE PITTY POT
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skjones0323
Posts: 53 Member
The past few days have been rough emotionally and physically. My moods have been all over the place from feeling OK to being OK with being run over by a train. My anxiety has been sky high and I have been irritated and irritable. Mostly I've been quiet, so not taking it out on others has been a high point. My body has been stiff and achy. My food choices have been off. My exercise has been mediocre. I've been bored, lacking in motivation, feeling lazy and out of control, no structure to my days. It seems like if I get off my program for one day it takes me 3-4 days to get back on it. WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT!?! Oh, I know.....40 years of practice of soothing my emotions with food and alcohol, mostly. I stopped drinking in 1986/7 and hadn't had anything until a few years ago when I got divorced. Every once in a while I'll have a mixed drink or some red wine, but I really don't need this in my diet for two main reasons: 1) I don't need the sugar as I am trying to avoid developing Type II Diabetes and 2) I lost both my mother and my brother to alcoholism and other substance abuse problems. I think my main addiction is sugar. When I binge it tends to be on sweets. My favorite choices are Danish Wedding Cookies, Mounds Bars, Ice Cream, those caramel/coconut cookies, chocolate chip cookie dough. When I don't binge the tensions rise as various things go wrong during the day. It could be something major like getting a flat tire, but usually, it's the small daily hassles of everyday life. WHAT am I going to use to calm myself besides food that works as well? CAN I learn not to use anything to soothe myself? I just don't know. All I know is that I am going to try to muddle through today and do the best I can. Next on the agenda? 1) Clean the bathtub and get the 7 year old to take a bath. 2) Take the extremely picky 7 year old clothes shopping for school; 3) Use my Wi to do Zumba.
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I've been going through something similar the past few weeks. I struggle with depression and anxiety. My depression is under control, but I've really been struggling with the anxiety. Similar to you, I've used food to comfort myself my whole life. When I'm lonely, when I'm bored, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, when I'm too busy, when I'm tired....really anytime when I cannot soothe myself and comfort myself. I've been really struggling with building a healthy routine to my days. I work nights so my waking hours fluctuate and my days are unstructured. I'd also like to drink less. My mom's family has a history of alcoholism. I'm not concerned that I have an addiction but it's so caloric! My husband and I would like to try and have a baby in the next two years. First I really want to build a healthy body for baby! If you come up with any tips that help you, please let me know!0
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First of all...I LOVE your profile picture and the sentiment is so true. One good book that I recommend is called Feeling Good by David Burns....there are a lot of practical exercises to use to help stop the negative thinking. The other book I really like and highly recommend is called The Mindful Way through Anxiety. There is another book that I have not read called, The Mindful Way through Depression. I think more than anything I have been thinking of my "sweet tooth" more as an addiction to sugar and therefore, when those cravings come up, when I'm in a good space I can tell myself to just "white knuckle it" until the craving passes or go to bed if it's about time. The other thing I was planning to do (and I have) is come on here and participate in discussions and/or vent like I did today as a way of relieving some of the tension. It is hard to eat and type at the same time!!0
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Cleaned the bathtub, 7 year old got bath, now it's lunch time, then off for clothing shopping....she's REALLY picky....did I mention that?
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Our emotions are fueled by our thoughts and behaviors. You have to start changing the way you think and behave. If you allow your emotions to dictate your life you will be unhappy and life will be a rollercoaster because that is how our emotions are. The more unorganized your life is, the worse your emotions will be. Food has replaced the normal, healthy ways to cope with this fallen world. For me, my faith in Jesus Christ has helped me to stop turning to food for comfort. Instead of worrying, I pray and believe what is written to help us live in this cruel world, His Word, the Bible. Our lives have to have purpose, because if not, what is the point? We all have to live with coming from imperfect familys. I grew up with an alcoholic father, a harsh and abusive mother, and struggled a long time with self worth issues. I decided I don't have to become the product of my upbringing, I am adult, I can make different choices. Knowledge is power, learning how the food industry wants to you be addicted to their products so they can make money. They don't care about you. That is why not eating/drinking bad food is so hard. You state in your review that your day is unstructured, you have to make a decision to change that. Unstructured time is the devils workshop. Working nights is tough, do you have to work nights? is it possible to change to a day shift? If not, structure your day time, set a sleep schedule and your day to day activities you will do during the day. Something that helps me deal with life's unpredictable issues, is to talk kindly to myself, and ask the ultimate question, "is this going to matter in a billion years?" is the flat tire, the bad traffic, the argument with spouse, the fussy kid, is this situation/issue going to matter in a billion years?!" the absolute answer is NO. We have a choice to react to negative emotions. We may "feel" a certain way, we can always "DO" something different, regardless of how we feel. Don't beat yourself up. Make time for yourself to pamper yourself, that can be something as simple as a bubble bath. Listen to music, laugh at your slip ups. Positive affirmations are something we all should practice everyday, change the way you think, because if you don't, what you think will dictate what you feel and do. If you still struggle with depression/anxiety, you may consider talking a professional counselor. When I wake first thing in the morning, most of the time, my first thought is to thank God for waking me to see another day, because tommorrow is not promised to anyone. When I want to get some perspective in my life, If I am on the 'pitty pot', I just turn on the news, and that brings me back to reality, there are others who are doing WAY worse than I am; I am thankful for ALL the blessings God Provides, like air, the sun, I can walk without a cane, i dont need a wheelchair, i can breathe without a breathing machine, I have food in the frigerator, I have a job, I have lights, I have a home with a roof, and so many more things we tend to take for granted. Take control of your thinking, it's not easy, but it is doable, it takes daily practice.0
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! When I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday he recommended that I re-start cognitive therapy, so I am going to follow through with that. I am also a Christian and I have been reading the bible and praying as much as I can. My mind has been slipping into very negative thinking though about the world, what's the use? what is all this suffering for? etc. etc. etc., but you reminded me about the fallen nature of this world and the fact that trouble will be with us always this side of heaven. I have also (in the past, but not recently) made gratitude lists and mine usually starts out, I have all my limbs, I have a roof over my head, I have enough money to buy food, I live in the age of air conditioning and so forth. I agree with you about the food industry...I've watched a bunch of documentaries and I went to a seminar on food addiction. The speaker said that the food industry intentionally manufactures foods that we will become addicted to...sugar or even worse, high fructose corn syrup, fat and salt. All three ingredients makes the perfect addictive food. Compare that to a piece of romaine lettuce or a cucumber, a strawberry or a piece of salmon. I have been trying to eat as cleanly as I can and I do feel tons better. When I slip up and binge on sweets I truly do feel awful physically. Right now I'm trying to fill up on water before going shopping with my daughter.0
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I can relate to what you wrote. I am struggling emotionally right now and want to comfort my soul with food, mainly sugar. Alcohol completely sabotages my weight loss. One thing that helps me are relaxation apps with soothing sounds. Also I know I feel better when I do something active. It's just getting me to do it. I get so mad at myself that I can't get myself out of that state of mind.
I, too, am prone to depression and anxiety. Both are pretty well managed by recognizing when I'm heading that direction and fulfilling it by actions I know work for me.
I lost 7 lbs then had some major stressors in my life and stepped back from here for a few weeks to put focus on getting the stress under control. I gained back all my weight but 1 pound. Very disappointed in myself.
Making lists like you did--and following through like you did--is a great way to overcome. Yay, you!0 -
I can relate so much to what you are saying. Monday nite, I was so down on myself because I spent the weekend eating ice cream, chocolate, a entire bag of marshmallows (yes, the entire bag!). So monday nite, I wrote on this site, asking if anyone else had this sugar addiction, and if so, how did they conquer it. I had already decided Monday that I was going to watch my sugar closely, and see if I could keep it below 50 grams a day. I noticed how much sugar was in my "unsweetened" applesauce (like 11 grams!). And my hubby and I had been buying protein bars, thinking that would help me not get hungry (they had 18 grams of sugar). But I would eat a protein bar, and be even more hungry.
I have come to realize that sugar is what is keeping me from losing weight. I see others on here that can eat ice cream, brownies, etc EVERY day, and still lose. They tell me its all willpower. I don't know if they are right, or if some of us do have some type of addiction.
Anyhow, I posted something on this website about sugar addiction. I had been reading about sugar addiction, and come to realize that this is what I have, and this is why, for me, eating just one bowl of ice cream is a disaster. Maybe not forever, but right now it is. Over 100 people responded-- many of them had me feeling so awful about myself. People telling me to just stop eating more than 1 bowl of ice cream - that it is as simple as willpower. Others even accused me of comparing this to cocaine addiction, and how wrong I was to do this. Very hurtful. Some wrote, and totally understood, but the first posts were very negative to me, and not at all helpful. I just wanted to go and eat an entire box of cookies, but I didn't!
Here is the link: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1380983-anyone-else-feel-they-are-addicted-to-sugar
So - I am happy that at least on your post, there are others who understand so much what you are going through. Its like once I have something sweet, something takes over my brain, and it is so hard to stop.
I have lost 16 lbs so far, and need to lose at least another 20-30, but I also have been struggling. So yesterday, I started really watching my sugar intake. Its been hard, and I am on day 2 now.
So I understand exactly what you are saying. I have read the book "Feeling Good" also, and do a gratitude journal everynite before going to bed. The book iis excellent. I started gaining weight through each of the deaths of my 4 siblings. I am only 63, but I have lost my only sister, and 2 brothers before any of them reached the age of 60 -- all to cancer. (also lost my parents 25 yrs ago) Then in 2012, my 3rd brother committed suicide - and another 30 lbs put on. I have a 36 yr old daughter, who has a masters degree in Occupational therapy - but 2yrs ago, she was dx with bipolar/schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, and now living with us. So with each of these things, I turned more and more to food. Something very hard to break.
But -- we can do this. I am determined to get a healthier lifestyle. Even if it means posting here every nite to keep from eating, and to know that I am not alone in this battle, or finding friends who know what this battle is like.
You can do this to! I know you can, and you will!0 -
Joan6630--thanks for posting. The general forums can be brutal! And everyone has a different opinion. Wow, can I relate to a sugar binge like your past weekend! Natural sugars are in all fruits even without added sugar. It's amazing what they put sugar in when you start looking.
I'm sorry to hear all you've been through. You must be a very strong person. Congrats on the 16 lbs you've lost so far!0 -
I can relate so much to what you are saying. Monday nite, I was so down on myself because I spent the weekend eating ice cream, chocolate, a entire bag of marshmallows (yes, the entire bag!). So monday nite, I wrote on this site, asking if anyone else had this sugar addiction, and if so, how did they conquer it. I had already decided Monday that I was going to watch my sugar closely, and see if I could keep it below 50 grams a day. I noticed how much sugar was in my "unsweetened" applesauce (like 11 grams!). And my hubby and I had been buying protein bars, thinking that would help me not get hungry (they had 18 grams of sugar). But I would eat a protein bar, and be even more hungry.
I have come to realize that sugar is what is keeping me from losing weight. I see others on here that can eat ice cream, brownies, etc EVERY day, and still lose. They tell me its all willpower. I don't know if they are right, or if some of us do have some type of addiction.
Anyhow, I posted something on this website about sugar addiction. I had been reading about sugar addiction, and come to realize that this is what I have, and this is why, for me, eating just one bowl of ice cream is a disaster. Maybe not forever, but right now it is. Over 100 people responded-- many of them had me feeling so awful about myself. People telling me to just stop eating more than 1 bowl of ice cream - that it is as simple as willpower. Others even accused me of comparing this to cocaine addiction, and how wrong I was to do this. Very hurtful. Some wrote, and totally understood, but the first posts were very negative to me, and not at all helpful. I just wanted to go and eat an entire box of cookies, but I didn't!
Here is the link: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1380983-anyone-else-feel-they-are-addicted-to-sugar
So - I am happy that at least on your post, there are others who understand so much what you are going through. Its like once I have something sweet, something takes over my brain, and it is so hard to stop.
I have lost 16 lbs so far, and need to lose at least another 20-30, but I also have been struggling. So yesterday, I started really watching my sugar intake. Its been hard, and I am on day 2 now.
So I understand exactly what you are saying. I have read the book "Feeling Good" also, and do a gratitude journal everynite before going to bed. The book iis excellent. I started gaining weight through each of the deaths of my 4 siblings. I am only 63, but I have lost my only sister, and 2 brothers before any of them reached the age of 60 -- all to cancer. (also lost my parents 25 yrs ago) Then in 2012, my 3rd brother committed suicide - and another 30 lbs put on. I have a 36 yr old daughter, who has a masters degree in Occupational therapy - but 2yrs ago, she was dx with bipolar/schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, and now living with us. So with each of these things, I turned more and more to food. Something very hard to break.
But -- we can do this. I am determined to get a healthier lifestyle. Even if it means posting here every nite to keep from eating, and to know that I am not alone in this battle, or finding friends who know what this battle is like.
You can do this to! I know you can, and you will!
You are not alone. I thank you for this motivational post. I have a habit of thinking that putting it out there for others to see is a sign of weakness on my part. Maybe it is weakness, but it is in our wesak moments we should draw strength from our cohort on MFP.
Wonderful!!0 -
I'm another person who gets derailed by sugar/sweets. I said sweets because I think even diet drinks tend to make me crave more sugar...it's not as strong, but still there. When I was in college, I remember an acquaintance who had lost wt and gotten in shape told me that if I gave it up, the cravings would eventually go away. I didn't believe her. Or maybe I didn't want to give it up so I wouldn't believe her.
At any rate, I didn't try it until I was 54 and my husband was pre-diabetic. We started eating a Mediterranean type diet, low in process foods, white flour and sugars. We even avoided fruit for the most part to start. Son of gun, the girl was right! The good fats his doctor told us to get regularly kept us from getting hungry and the cravings went away. I eventually found fruit didn't cause the cravings to come back. I concentrated on what yummy things I COULD have, instead of what I couldn't. Now 1.5 yrs later I can have a little something at a special occasion and while sometimes I feel like having more, it doesn't derail me. My husband is still derailed when he indulges so I guess it's just different for different people.
My point is just to give you hope that if you can fill yourself with different types of healthy foods that you enjoy, before long you'll notice that those cravings are gone.0 -
I am definitely a carbaholic and have never been able to eliminate or severely restrict carbs. I feel awful when I do. I ask able to give up refined sweets and notice cravings go away or at least subside.
Though sweets and carbs are definitely the biggest food group I like to stuff myself with when I seeming out my emotions with food, I do that with all foods. I have an insatiable appetite that is difficult to control.0
