New here

Hello All,

I am about a week away from finding out when my GPS will be, I've been told it will likely be scheduled before the end of the year, so things are getting real for me fast.

I am ready, as far as knowledge health wise and the ability to live a active healthy life post-surgery ( ironically, I have a PhD in Obesity research)

My worries surround a few key things,

1. I have been told 6-8 week with no strenuous activity (sometimes difficult with 2 kids under 4), but what about return to work? How long were some of you off? I teach at a university, nothing too crazy just lecturing, will I be back in the class in 2 weeks?

2. Mood, I know when I don't eat well or I don't eat enough that my mood can take a turn for the worse, How did you all cope with the restricted eating and your mood, was it an issue?

3. While my wife is very supportive, she has some weight issues of her own and we had quite the chat about how the surgery will be bitter sweet for her, on one hand I will be getting healthier and she will be happy on the other she will be jealous of my weightloss and feel left behind. did anyone else deal with this? any suggestions to cope with this?

Thanks for the input


  • rpyle111
    rpyle111 Posts: 1,066 Member
    Hello All,

    3. While my wife is very supportive, she has some weight issues of her own and we had quite the chat about how the surgery will be bitter sweet for her, on one hand I will be getting healthier and she will be happy on the other she will be jealous of my weightloss and feel left behind. did anyone else deal with this? any suggestions to cope with this?

    Thanks for the input

    I am pre-op (Sept. 30th date!) so I can't answer the first two, but I can comment on the third. My wife is excited to see me taking real steps to improve my life, and she is benefiting as well, she has lost about 25 pounds during my pre-op phase, as we both eat healthier (I do most of the cooking). She has joined and uses MFP and we are both seeing real benefits on my journey. I hope that she will continue to lose as I go through the next 6-8 months, but I am pretty darn sure that we will both come out of this next year healthier and happier!

    I hope you can get her to a place where she is unreservedly happy about your journey and not resentful of your path.

    Feel free to friend me if you would like.

  • Thanks Rob,

    My wife has gotten on board with me as well and has lot some weight, she is walking everyday, using the elliptical more than ever, and she is eating clean along with what I am doing and there is lots of positives, I think that is really motivating for her. I think she just looks ahead and sees me dropping 60 lbs real fast and that bothers her a little bit that we won't be seeing the same results, I am really working though on supporting her being healthy and getting her out of her comfort zone with food, so hopefully as we go along she will see how great it will be to have a healthy household and those feelings of jealousy will not pop up.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    Hi, I had my sleeve 3 years ago. I was off 2 weeks. I have a desk job, but really needed the full 2 weeks to heal, recover and get a good handle on how I was going to incorporate eating 4 of my 6 small meals in the office while working. It's all doable, you just need to plan well.

    As to the other, my husband is struggling with his weight. He's happy for me and has been my biggest supporter, but it is hard for him to see me go down while he doesn't. For the first time in decades, I am smaller then he is. It's tough, but he is making different choices for himself and that's OK. He does walk with me when I ask, but he hasn't modified his diet and that's why his weight stays the same.

    Good luck with everything. This has been a great journey and I am so happy I did this. One thing I will say is, if your wife's changes are temporary, leave her be about it. This is your journey. As long as she's supportive, she doesn't have to walk it with you. We've been doing it for 3 years now without any strife. I hope the same for you.

  • radcas11
    radcas11 Posts: 76 Member
    I have a desk job and after my gastric bypass, I took off 3 weeks. I definitely needed all of that time. It's not just about physically recovering, but you have to learn to eat all over again. It takes you a while to figure out what your body will and won't handle.

    My mood wasn't really effected at all. You're learning to eat new things and a lot less of it. When the weight starts coming off, it's a wonderful feeling.

    I'm single and have been since my surgery a year ago. I think your wife will learn to be happy for you! You're making better decisions so you can live a long, happy, healthy life with her!
  • sadiegirl32
    sadiegirl32 Posts: 181 Member
    I'm 2 years post op from bypass. I took 2 weeks off and went back to my desk job full time after that. Fatigue was an issue for me for the first 3 months. We consume so few calories that our body is just tired. Sounds like you have a flexible schedule so just plan well when fixing food and make sure you take your protein shakes with you.

    This is my mood story, not much changed except for one thing, large amounts of food freaked me out. My room mate made a huge pot of veggie soup and I walked in the door took one look at that on the stove and flat out flipped I can laugh now but it was not a pleasant scene at the time. Thankfully I was still talking to my shrink at the time and we talked through it and really helped me realize what was driving it and how to cope with it. For awhile I also did not enjoy grocery shopping. Again, the sheer amount of food just overwhelmed me. I will still not go to a buffet restaurant, will not step foot in one! And I am A OK with that.

    One thing I did find and still do is that many times I just do not want to eat, I have to make myself. Again, I'm ok with that and consider it a good thing. I am one of the lucky bypass patients where hunger has not returned for me.
  • Thanks everyone,

    It is comforting to hear from others who have been through bypass or other bariatric surgery.

    My wife has been on a tear for a little while, She is eating so clean and healthy and has been making a point for the whole family to be active. It has really been a big help, I hope that it continues, she claims to feel much better and she has been seeing some good results so there is motivation there. Any ideas how I can actively keep her motivated when I start losing drastically more than her post-op?

    Another far as work goes, A large portion of my work I can do at home on the computer (research and writing) I know I asked about return to work Post-op for some of you, but do you think simple computer tasks are something that I can maintain at home while I recover?

    As always I appreciate the discussion
  • glyndalin
    glyndalin Posts: 28 Member
    I'm kind of in your position. I work at a university, but my job is split between desk work and doing workshops for teachers in the field.

    I have struggled with the "I have a PhD. Why can't I figure this out?!" issue, too. Although my degree is in education, it still seemed like with as much as I know about educational psychology and behavior modification / constructivist learning, I should be able to lose this weight on my own. I can't imagine if my degree were actually in obesity research. I used my fight with obesity as the point for a lot of my research papers in my studies though.

    Anyway, I am taking one week completely off work and working from home one week, so I can take naps or breaks as needed. My first travel dates are in that third week, and I have already told colleagues and support staff that they will have to do all the heavy lifting. I'm just going to present and have a TA to help me distribute handouts, sign-in sheets, technology hook up etc.

    My boss happens to be extremely supportive, and our department secretary had a bypass many years ago, so she is a constant source of inspiration and advice.

    My biggest concern, honestly, is keeping myself in check. After my surgery last year, I started exercising too soon, did too much too soon, and ended up with a nasty hernia (which will be repaired at the same time as the bypass, thank God.) My intention is to absolutely not do ANYTHING that will contribute to any complications (like a hernia).

    Here's to both of us having successful WLS and recovery! Let me know how it goes.

    MRS1TAS Posts: 9 Member
    I am 4 weeks post-op. I'm a housewife. But a volunteer with my church in our children's dept. And our church librarian. Plus i get my grandchildren twice a week who keep me very active. I took a full 3 weeks off from everything. I found that I would get tired very quickly just getting up and moving around the house a little bit. Sept 18th was 4 weeks from the day of the surgery. Right now I am back to doing what I was before the surgery. It's just a little easier because I am down 37 pounds so far. I really suggest that you take the full 3 weeks to rest up. If you can work from home just work in small doses that way you can rest. Of course you may not need as much rest time as I did. Each person is different.

    As far as your wife is concerned just keep on encouraging her. My husband is a small man and for years I tried to get him to walk with me and eat properly so that it would help me to better my health. His answer was always I don't need it. Once my health took a down turn and I was basically told to do this surgery or I may not be around in 5-10 years. He changed his tune. He is eating everything I am eating now with the exception his food is not soft foods or the pureed. But he is feeling better with the healthier eating. Even if your wife isn't losing the weight as fast as you are let her know how excited you are that she is able to do it without having the surgery.Always remind her how beautiful you think she is. And she will keep up the workouts. I tried to not have to do surgery but nothing ever changed for the good.

    Where my mood is concerned. I have been feeling great. I want to do things now. Where as before just going down my front steps took so much out of me I didn't even want to go outside. Just breathing was difficult. With the weight I have lost so far it makes my mood better. Just remember to go to the support groups. That is a necessity. Good luck with everything.
  • Hi I just had my Gastric Bypass RNY on Sept. 17. Just came home from the hospital yesterday due to increased blood pressures after surgery... My first 2 days after surgery were painful. ( I wasn't happy with the pain plan that was set in place.) Q 4 liquid acetaminophen and bolus of morphine as needed. the morphine only lasted about 1 hour and nursing staff was not very quick with offering or giving them. It wasn't until I got on my home meds of liquid hydrocodone that I felt any level of comfort. A morphine cadd or even just the hydrocodone would have been better. But now that I am home the pain is slowly decreasing....

    Work: I work as a Physical therapist... (So I really get the being an obesity researcher.) So I have an active job. My job that has been very no VERY hard for me to do the past few years as I have gained so much weight. My Dr. said off work for 2 weeks or more depending on how I feel. We will see how that goes as time goes on.

    My mood has been pretty good (today) since I came home and am getting into a routine. I have to sleep somewhat upright so it is the couch/recliner for me.

    My Husband will be having a lap band (we are doing this journey together) But his surgery is still about 3 weeks off... and while he should be dieting and eating good about now... he is in the phase of I have to eat it now... its my last chance to ever eat like this... I can't blame him I did the same thing.... But so far I have not had any cravings or hunger... what I have had is fully when he had a pizza today... I thought how amazing it might be to lick a pepperoni....but I didn't knew it would feel terrible and start me off bad... So he is not being supportive food wise right now... but knowing he will be on board later helps and knowing where he is at in his emotions about the surgery helps too... and I am NOT at all hungry!!!!

    It takes my 20 min to consume 1-2 oz of liquids I have yet to meet my daily requirement of water... not sure how it is possible I literally sleep with a water bottle. Everyday it gets a little better I started full liquids today... which just means I added 2 2 oz servings of protein shake.

    Good luck to you. keep us posted.
  • I had mine 4 days ago, no hunger, pain under control with meds, and most of the day I don't need it. My energy is ok, I am a little sleeper than normal, especially when I take the pain meds. My mood is fine, no grumpiness. My hubby is trying to diet, but I don't care what he eats as I am not hungry anyways. Overall he is happy I am working on my health, and he will try to work on his.